ZiMask & Conquer The Musical
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, The Mask(I wish I did) or Michigan J. Frog. But I do own The ZiMask.
(Gameslave Corp.)
When Gaz took over the Gameslave Company, she had done some serious remodeling. The building had been painted black and dark purple. Purple transparent tubes wrapped around the towers. The walls of the building were as thick as tree trunks. The towers looked like gigantic claws. The middle section was similar to a torso with a glowing jewel in the center. And where Gaz herself dwelled was in the tallest tower that resembled a giant triangular head. In short, the building didn't look like a building at all. It looked more like a gigantic robotic body!
But enough about that. Zim was currently in the giant head…I mean the tallest tower, talking with Gaz. "Are you listening to me Gaz? ARE YOU! You got to change the color scheme of this place! I feel like I'm on Nocturno 9 every time I come here! I'm thinking magenta velvet and maybe some green would do this place some style."
"Get to the point Zim." an adult Gaz said impatiently as she was playing a Gameslave 17 prototype. Gaz had grown up over the years. She was now stood at an average adult height. Her hair had gotten slightly longer. And she now wore a business suit.
"Oh, right. Well I'd like to talk to you about this!" he took The Mask out of his coat pocket to show it to Gaz.
"A piece of wood?" Gaz observed "You interrupted my busy schedule…to show me a piece of wood?"
"I know it might not look like much…in fact it smells kinda nasty but…This is The Mask!" Zim exclaimed.
"You mean 'The' Mask?" Gaz said. "The legendary Mask?
"Yes it's 'The' Mask!" Zim snapped. "And I need to know everything there is to know about it!"
"And you're here because?"
"Because you have the 2nd most powerful computer in the world! I bet there's at least a few documents that have more information on it."
"Frankly Zim, I don't really care. So I'm just going to eject you from this building before you say something even more ridiculous." Gaz reached for a small button under her desk that activated the eject feature.
"Wait! Just let me prove to you that it works!" Zim begged. "But know this, I am only partially responsible for the events that will transpire!"
"Go ahead." Gaz said, calling Zim's bluff. Zim smirked, he then slowly moved The Mask to his face…SPROING! Zim was ejected from the building via Gaz's spring-loaded floor. "Oops, my finger slipped." Gaz quickly returned to playing her new Gameslave.
(Outside)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"Zim screamed as he was ejected from the building. He screamed even louder when he started falling towards the ground. Thinking quickly, he tried to put The Mask on but it once again slipped and landed on his Pak. Zim started to transform, spinning as he did so. Unfortunately, the spinning quickened his descent. A few seconds later, Zim had fully transformed into The ZiMask. "SSSSmoki…" The ZiMask fell down the ground, and was killed instantly. A magenta streak on the sidewalk, dead, gone for all eterni- "PSYCHE!" Actually he was just fine. The ZiMask pulled himself up and decided to have a nice, calm, afternoon. "Hmmm…now what should I do?" The ZiMask thought. "Perhaps I should use my powers to help my fellow man…or maybe I could just go shoot spitballs at President Membrane. Or maybe…" The ZiMask thoughts were interrupted by a flying shuriken that had imbedded itself on a nearby wall. "What the-?" The ZiMask turned his head in the direction the shuriken had come from, to see 5 ninjas in battle stance. "Uh, can I help you?"
One of the ninjas glared at The ZiMask threateningly "We seek The Mask!"
"The Mask?" The ZiMask questioned.
"Yes, The Mask." The ninja answered.
"The Mask?" The ZiMask asked again.
"Yes, The Mask!" the ninja shouted angrily.
"The Ma-" A shuriken interrupted The ZiMask's question.
"Shut up!" the ninja screamed. "We have traveled many miles to obtain The Mask." The ninja removed his katana from it's scabbard. The other 4 ninjas did the same. "Now, surrender The Mask over to us! And we shall spare your life!"
"Hey, how do you guys know so much about my Mask, anyway?" The ZiMask inquired.
"Well, it's all in this ancient 1000 year old scroll." The ninja put his sword away and took an old-looking scroll from his pocket. "It explains The Mask's powers and how it works. There's even a very morbid illustration on it…" the ninja said as he opened the scroll.
"Oh, let me see!" The ZiMask nimbly snatched the paper out of the ninja's hands and looked at the scroll. It showed a green faced samurai burning a castle with a flame-thrower. "Aw, my eyes are closed." The ZiMask sighed as he saw the picture of the crazed pyromaniac samurai. "If there isn't a line can I go back and do it again?"
"Relinquish that scroll!" one of the ninjas ordered. "It is a valued artifact!"
"But it's just what I need for…" The ZiMask did his spin attack and took the form of a kung-fu master. "The ancient art of Origami! Watch closely." The ZiMask ordered in a japanese accent. The ZiMask started to crumple and bend the paper till it resembled a crane. "Crane!" he quickly turned it into another animal. "Bull!" he did another paper creature. "Loch Ness Monster!" and with each origami creature, the ninjas paled more and more. "Now for my final creation!" The ZiMask turned the scroll into a paper bird and took a lighter out of his pocket. "Burning Phoenix!" he used the lighter to set the origami bird ablaze. And for one brief moment, the bird burned with such elegance and beauty that the sight entranced the ninjas…Before it turned into a smoldering pile of ash.
The 5 warriors were immediately snapped out of their trance "Noooooo!" the ninjas howled in unison. "Restore it!"
"Geez you don't have to shout. I'll restore your precious family heirloom." The ZiMask assured."Sheesh, no one can take a joke these days." The ZiMask cupped his hands over the ashes and blew at them. "But first…my personal favorite." As The ZiMask blew the ashes weren't being restored to their original state, instead they seemed to expand and inflate like a balloon. When he was done, the ashes were no longer black, but resembled a bright green energy ball. the ninjas slowly backed away when they realized what The ZiMask held in his hands. "An energy ball!" The ZiMask laughed. The 5 ninjas attempted to flee from The ZiMask. "Hey, you forgot your scroll. Hado-ken!" The ZiMask hurled the green energy ball at the fleeing ninjas, and with a KO all 5 were down for the count. "You Lose. Continue? 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…Game Over. See ya! Please play again. Hahahahah!" The ZiMask cackled. The ZiMask turned back into his normal form. But suddenly, the ground began to shake violently. As if some monstrous being were taking giant footsteps. Or a vast army was heading in his direction.
Actually it was the latter. In a matter of seconds The ZiMask found himself surrounded by a vast army of renegades and huge tanks. Each of the rogue soldiers was decked in thick, brown, futuristic armor and all carried big guns. Did I say big? I meant gigantic! Their handguns alone are about the size of your little brother! Anyway, one of the soldiers (who was probably the leader) lifted a megaphone and shouted. "Alright you green faced freak! Give us The Mask and we promise we won't shoot you…more than once."
"A tempting offer, Major Bad Hair day…But I think I'll pass." The ZiMask put on a jetpack and jetted away.
"After him! For the honor of the Mud Urchin Army get me that Mask!" the leader soldier barked.
As this was happening, two Swollen Eyeball Members (Alex and Luke) were in their car at a red stoplight, waiting for it to change green. "Look Luke, someone has got to guard the car." Alex said to his partner. "So why can't you stay here while I get The Mask?"
"Because you always get to shoot stuff and I never get to do anything exiting." Luke complained.
Alex was about to retort, when suddenly The ZiMask jumped onto the scene dressed in a tuxedo, cane and tophat. The ZiMask started to dance across the street singing:
Hello, my baby,
Hello, my honey,
Hello, my ragtime gal!
Send me a kiss by wire;
Baby my heart's on fire!
If you refuse me,
Honey, you'll lose me,
Then you'll be left alone;
Oh, baby,
Telephone,
And tell me
I'm your own.
After The ZiMask had danced across the street, Alex and Luke made an attempt to get out of the car to give chase to the Mask-wearing irken. But found themselves unable to when the Mud Urchin army roared past them and went after The ZiMask. The sight of the armor-clad and heavily armed renegades chasing a dancing ZiMask gave the two agents quite a fright. "You know what? Maybe I'll just guard the car!" Alex blurted.
"Yeah, me too." Luke agreed, for they were both frightened at the prospect of facing either force.
(Back to The ZiMask…)
Eventually, the Mud Urchin Army had managed to corner The ZiMask against a brick wall. They all aimed their guns and tanks at him. "Hehehe, you gave us quite the run Mask-wearer!" the leader of the Mud Urchins chuckled. "But you can't escape the most dangerous army of rebels the world has ever seen." The ZiMask was growing quite bored at this speech and yawned. The leader kept up his egotistical chatter. "Surely you will never find a more skilled group of terrorists and mercenaries anywhere else." The ZiMask was now in pajamas, hugging a plush toy moose and sucking his thumb. The Urchin leader didn't seem to notice. "After all, we wouldn't be the world's most feared criminals if the bounty on our heads wasn't 1000000000 dollars!"
When he heard this, The ZiMask woke up instantly. He slid towards the leader "Did you say you're army is worth 1000000000 dollars?" The ZiMask smiled an unpleasant smile.
"Yes…"
"Dead or alive?" The ZiMask asked, drawing a concealed missile launcher from his back pocket.
"Alive." The Army's leader stated.
"Dang!" The ZiMask cursed. "Well, I don't need this anymore." The ZiMask threw the missile launcher behind him causing it to explode. BOOM! "Alright ZiMask your in a real pickle." He thought to himself. "I could destroy them all, no sweat. But then I'll be missing out on 1000000000 bucks! What to do? What to do? Wait…I think I've got an idea." The ZiMask spun around and turned himself into a gangster, holding a violin case. "Alright you punks time for you to…" he reached his hand inside the violin case. The Mud Urchins instinctively aimed their weapons at The ZiMask because they all thought he was going to bring out a tommy gun. (you know, just like gangsters do in the movies.) Instead, The ZiMask brought out an actual violin from the case. "Face the music!" The ZiMask finished. The Urchins laughed at this. After all, what could a violin do? The ZiMask transformed into a hillbilly costume. He started to fiddle and sing.
Bow to your corner, bow to your own.
Three hands up and 'round you go,
Break it up with a dosey-do.
Chicken in the bread pan kickin' out dough,
Skip to ma Lou my darling.
Back you go and forward again.
Step right up with an elbow swing,
Skip to ma Lou my darling.
For some bizarre reason The Mud Urchins started to dance as the song instructed. The song continued.
Promenade across the land,
With your partner close at hand,
Don't you shoot and don't you rave,
And everybody promenade.
You're doing well I see,
I'll punch you if you punch me,
Slug him again, like you did again,
And end it with a blow to the chin.
The soldiers obeyed the song and punched one another. The ZiMask started handing out clubs to all of them. Singing and fiddling as he did so.
Now take a club, hold it tight,
Bash your partner with all your might,
Bash him high and bash him low,
Till his bruises grow,
All of the soldiers of The Mud Urchin Army took a club and started hitting each other on the head until the clubs broke from the repeated bashing.
Now keep up my friends,
Until your club breaks end to end,
When that happens just throw them away,
Take your partner, promenade again.
Now it's time to fight like a tiger in a cramped room,
Give em' a dropkick,
A Clothesline to the face and a suplex too.
The soldiers were now pummeling each other with wrestling moves.
Now promenade into the jail,
Parade inside like your going to Yale,
The Mud Urchins paraded inside the police station, noses lifted high and went inside the prison cells.
Now you're in jail,
Bow to your partner,
Bow to the warden,
Now I'm going to the get my reward, see you later SUCKERS!
The ZiMask went to the nearest officer. "As you can see I've subdued The Mud Urchins and I want my reward of 1000000000 bucks! Come on. Show me the moolah!"
The officer looked at The ZiMask then at the captured Mud Urchin Army. "Sir, it doesn't look like you had any difficulty handling these guys." The officer said. "For all we know they could've just come in here by their own free will."
"Uh…difficulty? You want to talk to me about difficulty!" The ZiMask spun and turned himself into an old sea captain. "It was a terrible battle it was!" he said in a sailor accent. "There were villains to my right, soldiers to my left, tanks to my front, and a rabid Barnukean monkey behind me. But I fought them all off. Gave them the old one-two I did. They didn't stand a chance!" As The ZiMask told the officer his elaborate lie a nearby detective was looking at The ZiMask rather curiously. If anyone ever needed further explanation as to"Why?" then one would simply look at the detective's nametag: (Kellaway) and he'd have all the explanation he would need.
Author Note: Whew, longest chapter yet. I would like to add that when The ZiMask is dancing "Hello My Baby" he dances like Michigan J. Frog. Also, if anyone hasn't guessed. Zim transforms into The ZiMask when The Mask lands on his Pak.
