Chapter 5: Karaoke Nightmares
Written: March 24, 2005
Author: Mondie
Disclaimer: Newsies equal sign Disney's. Plot equal sign Mondie's.
"…Wow. That's… that's intense, Mush." Pie Eater reclined on his bed, running a hand though his dark hair. "Are you sure?"
"I think so," Mush answered, firmly snuggled in his own bed. "I really honestly think so."
Pie Eater shrugged. "So maybe you should just go and stop putting it off," he suggested.
Mush nodded. "I think I will." He stood up. "I can do this."
"You can," Pie Eater seconded.
"I will do this."
"You will."
Mush's face suddenly crumpled. "I can't do it, Pie!"
Pie Eater stood up as well, and crossed their small room in two strides. "You can, Mush. You can. You care about him, don't you?" Mush nodded dismally. "He cares about you, too. So go get 'im, Tiger!" He patted Mush assuredly on the shoulder.
Mush adjusted the collar of his shirt and walked to the door, twisting the doorknob and walking out. Pie Eater fell back on his bed, holding a textbook in front of his face. Mush peeked back in around the door. "If you ever call me 'Tiger' again, I'm kicking your ass," he warned.
Pie Eater laughed. "I didn't think I was gonna get away with that."
"Right. Okay, see you later." Mush left the room again.
Pie Eater waited five minutes, just to make sure that Mush was really gone, before reaching up and tapping lightly on the wall that his bed was pushed up against. He held his breath, but with little need, because an answering rap called through the thin wall a moment later. He knocked again, one loud tap, and a minute later, the door to his room swung open again.
"Hey," he said, smiling.
"Mush gone?"
"Yup," Pie said, sitting back up to make room on his bed.
"Good. Let's get busy, then," Snoddy answered, grinning as he closed the door, walked over, and flung himself on the bed.
Pie Eater smiled. "You look great today."
"What, this old thing?" Snoddy countered, adopting a Southern belle accent. He leaned forward and jostled Pie Eater's leg, leaving his hand on his knee. "You do too, Sebastian."
Pie Eater grinned, leaning over and kissing Snoddy softly. "So… you ready?"
"Did you get—"
"Right there, on my desk," Pie Eater answered.
Snoddy kissed him again. "You're fantastic."
"It doesn't exactly take a genius," Pie Eater said, laughing. "But here, dear prince." He got up and crossed to his desk. While his back was turned, Snoddy hurriedly popped a few breath mints.
"Here you go." Pie Eater turned back around and handed a few pieces of paper to Snoddy. Snoddy shifted through them, before one caught his eye.
"This one."
"Which one?" Pie Eater sat beside him and read over his shoulder. "Oh, good choice."
Snoddy leaned his head back against Pie Eater's chest. "Let's practice, before I lose my drive to perform in favor of… just you in general." He looked up and suddenly laughed wickedly. "We are so gonna stomp ass at the karaoke competition tomorrow."
It was barely nine pm, but already the Beta house was in full Friday force. Mush stared at it in wonder, unsure if he could make the final twenty steps up the front walk into its loud, bass pumping, jolted frame. A group of giggling girls, not drunk but extremely tipsy, walked up behind him and linked arms with him. "C'mon, cute stuff," said the one on his left. "You're not gonna get any action just standing on the lawn."
He let them sweep him along into the house, but untangled himself from their clutches as soon as they headed toward the punch in the kitchen. He looked around. Most of the lights were off, except a few neon signs and some extensive black lights, and it seemed a completely different place from the house he had been in not even a week ago. Girls were everywhere, with a few boys spaced in between them. Mush found himself wrinkling his nose. Beta parties were never really his cup of tea, and were even less so when he was sober.
He began to search the faces of the boys that he could find in the living room. None of them looked really familiar, until he saw a couple of short boys making out in a corner.
"Hey! Spot! Have you seen Skittery?"
Spot pulled away from Racetrack and scowled. "Go away, I'm busy!" Racetrack, obviously already trashed, didn't even acknowledge Mush, just pulled Spot back toward him with a moan.
Mush sighed and headed through the jostling people, opting for the bright lights of the kitchen. Not many people were in there, just a few boys guzzling punch in hopes of getting drunk faster, the giggling girls who had dragged Mush inside, and a redheaded boy calmly drinking from a mug while talking to a boy with white-blond hair. Mush sighed and leaned against the wall, feeling unprepared to go face the surging seas of drunk faces again.
The redhead looked over and grinned. "Mush?"
Mush looked back and gave an uneasy smile. Usually he had a great talent for remembering faces and names, even people he met while drunk out of his mind. This face didn't ring a bell. "Hi!" he chirped, hoping that his overexuberant greeting would distract from the fact that he didn't use the boy's name back.
"You don't know me," were the next words to leave the tie-dyed clothed boy's mouth. "People call me Pinhead. Because they're fuckin' cruel." He held out a hand, which Mush shook. "I'm Skittery's roommate. I didn't fuckin' mean to startle you, but… yeah, Skittery's pointed you out to me like thirty fuckin' times in the past year." He grinned amiably. "Oh, this is Charlie."
"Hi," Charlie said softly, ducking his head.
"Fucking A, Skittery didn't tell me you were coming over tonight! Does this make me sexiled?" Pinhead moaned. "That asshole. Charlie, can I crash in your fucking room tonight?"
Mush shrugged. "Actually, he doesn't know I'm here," he answered softly. "I can't find him anywhere, either."
Pinhead laughed. "Did you try our room? He hasn't left it in like… days. I don't think he's anywhere down here."
"Why hasn't he left your room?" Mush asked.
Pinhead stared at him. "Uh, I think you should fucking ask him that. But I'm pretty fucking sure it has something to do with you." He laughed cheerfully. "You know which room it is, don't you?"
Mush nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, Pinhead. Nice to meet you. You too, Charlie." Charlie nodded an acknowledgment into his drink. "Catch you guys later."
"Go cheer him up!" Pinhead shouted after him. "Skitts fucking sucks when he's in a pissy mood!"
Mush crossed to the staircase and climbed over a few couples strewn across various steps. Luckily, the stairs at the top were a lot less crowded, and he made it up the final four without stepping on anyone at all. He took a long stride to make it over a threesome spread out, blocking the second floor hallway, and made it to Skittery's room.
He knocked on the door.
"Occupied," Skittery yelled back, sounding angry.
He knocked again.
"I said there's somebody already fucking in here! Go use Morris's room or something!"
Mush knocked a third time.
"Jesus Christ!" he heard Skittery roar. "Fucking horny drunks! I said—" He flung open the door, and then his face immediately changed from anger to a smile when he saw Mush. Granted, it was a tiny, guarded smile, but it heartened Mush nonetheless.
"Can I come in?" he asked softly.
Skittery stepped aside, and Mush walked past him. Skittery closed the door behind him, and the party suddenly sounded miles away. Mush looked around. The room, which had been impeccable and tidy on Saturday night, was now in shambles.
"Sorry, I didn't know you were coming… hold on…" Skittery mumbled, hurriedly trying to scoop up some dirty laundry.
Mush sat on his bed. "Leave it, it doesn't matter," he said.
Skittery froze and dropped the clothes where they were. He went to his desk chair and sat down heavily in it. Mush waited for him to speak, which he did, after a few minutes of very tense silence. "You didn't call me."
"I know, and I'm sorry," Mush answered. "I just… I saw Blink at the gym that day." Skittery grimaced at Blink's name, but didn't say anything. "It really screwed me up, Skittery. It really, really did."
"You should have called me and told me," Skittery said angrily. "We could have talked about it. You didn't have to fucking shut me out."
Mush nodded. "I know. But… I needed to think things through. On my own. You know?"
Skittery wouldn't meet his gaze anymore. "You fucking blew me off. After I did so much for you!"
"Well… that was part of it," Mush admitted. "Skittery, I got freaked out by the amount of money you spent on me. On the amount of time you spent on me. On the amount of thought that went into the gifts you gave me. It just… on the one hand, it just seemed like you were trying to bribe me or something, but then… it was just incredible to have someone admit to caring that much about me, you know?" He stared at the carpet. There were chocolate sauce stains all over it. "I just… I feel… inadequate, I guess. Or something. And… it's hard to leave Blink behind. It just is. We dated since long before he became Kid Blink and I became Mush. We've known each other since junior high, and we began dating back when I was still Micah, and he was still Logan Fields. We've been together so long, it's just… it's weird to not be with him."
"I've liked you since before you became Mush, too," Skittery said softly. "Since the first time I saw you, in French 100. You were just starting out as a freshman, and I was a sophomore who was already jaded about college and just wanted to get my damn foreign language requirement out of the way. You were so nervous, but there was something about you, Micah Meyers. I don't know what it was, but as soon as I saw you, I knew it. I knew that you were what I had been looking for."
Mush looked up at him, and was surprised to find that Skittery was now looking at him again, and this time, without a fire-filled glare. His eyes were now the way they had been the night of the auction: soft around the edges, and tender. Mush couldn't help but smile at them, and bask in them. Those eyes went soft for him. And that was what had brought him here tonight. "Logan used to look at me that way," he said softly, almost to himself. "But it's been a long time since he last did." He pushed himself off the bed and walked toward Skittery, who stood up as well. "I love that you look at me like that. It's better than spending money on me, or letting loose butterflies in my room. Because those things are nice, but they aren't what convinced me to come here tonight."
"Five classes, though," Skittery said quietly, as he wrapped his arms around Mush. "We've had five classes together, and you never noticed me in any of them. You never noticed me until I spent the money on you."
Mush looked up at him. "I'm sorry for that," he said softly. "Really, I am. But you don't need to worry about me not noticing you anymore. I'm going to spend a lot more of my time noticing you from now on."
Skittery gave a little smile. "Should I go get my chocolate syrup from the fridge?" he joked. "You're looking a little clean."
Mush smiled, leaning up and kissing him. "It's even better without it," he whispered back.
"We've picked the longest song in the history of forever," Bumlets griped. "Why the hell are we singing an eight and a half minute song, again?"
Swifty glared at him. "Because I happen to like Meat Loaf, that's why."
"But—"
"Look, if you don't want to sing it with me, you can go sing with your little roommate and his band of misfits."
Bumlets thought about the random group assembled in his room at that moment, and shook his head. "No, you're right. Definitely a Meat Loaf kinda mood I'm in, no doubt about it. I wouldn't dream of singing anything but Meat Loaf. No way, no how. Nosiree bob. Uh-uh."
"Okay, that was slightly overkill," Swifty said, rolling his eyes. "Now let's see, what should our outfits be…"
"We have to dress up!" Bumlets said. "No way, because I'm singing the girl's part! I am not doing it in drag. This is already humiliating enough as it is!"
Swifty pouted. "Fine then. How about we wear our auction outfits from the Deltas?"
Bumlets stared at him. "Fine, fine, I'll do drag. Goddamn you, Swifty. How the hell did I end up with such a manipulative best friend?"
Swifty raised an eyebrow. "Like you really care. Just be glad I'm here, or else you'd be up there howling away with Grouch and Snipeshooter."
Bumlets shuddered. "Good point."
Itey crept away from the kitchen doorframe, meeting Snitch in the living room. They headed up the stairs, giggling to themselves. "Bumlets and Swifty are doing Meat Loaf," he laughed, when they were safely back in their room with the door closed. "There's no way they're beating us now!"
"We were worried for nothing!" Snitch crowed. "Come tomorrow, you and I will be sitting pretty with the trophy resting, in all its glory, right there on top of the dresser." They both looked toward Snitch's dresser as though it were sitting there already, sighed at its imaginary beauty, and then began soundproofing their room by shoving blankets into the crack under the door.
Snipeshooter dashed away from their door. "Bumlets and Swifty are doing Meat Loaf," he reported to the four boys lounging in Chocolate's room. "Snitch and Itey aren't saying what they're doing, but they seem to think it's better than Meat Loaf."
The boys in the room scoffed in unison. "Like anything is better than Meat Loaf," Chocolate declared.
"You said it, brother," Crutchy cried. Chocolate stared at him for a minute, then turned back to the rest of their group.
"Meat Loaf's good, but we have the ultimate drunk karaoke song of all times," he said, to get their morale up. "And we get major bonus points for using the Beatles, because nobody—and I mean nobody—dislikes the Beatles."
"Except Great Aunt Mildred, but that's understandable, since their tour bus ran over her famous cat and she lost her major source of income," Snipeshooter said. Everyone blinked at him. He shrugged. "It's true! It's not like I make up the stories of the great tragedies that have happened to my family!"
"Yeah, no great tragedy has befallen anyone else like that of losing the main breadwinner in the family," Grouch said, scowling. "Especially when the breadwinner is a cat."
"His name was Fifi, and he was the most famous member of my family!" Snipeshooter cried indignantly.
"Yeah, well, your family's stupid!" Grouch yelled back.
"Yeah, well, your mom's stupid!" Snipeshooter shouted. "No! Even better! You're stupid! Ha!"
Chocolate rested his head in his hands. "Can we just practice our song?"
Crutchy was hobbling to the door. "No need to, Chocolate. Who doesn't know the words to our song? I, for one, have had it memorized since my older brothers used to sing it to me –"
"When you were in kindergarten, we know, we know, you've told us thirty times already," Grouch grumbled.
"Shut up!" Crutchy said, looking ruffled, which was unusual for him. "At least my brothers amounted to something, instead of being some boozehound loser…" Suddenly realizing what he said, he fell silent. "Oh. Ah-hah, don't listen to me. You see, my brain, it makes all of these mistakes…"
"What did you say about my brother?" Grouch said, standing up and swelling to his greatest size, towering over Crutchy, who shied away, whimpering.
"Nothing, Grouch."
"Call me sir," Grouch said, glaring darkly.
"Yes—Yes, sir!" Crutchy said, before getting the door open and escaping from it, getting to his and Snoddy's room as fast as he could, and locking the door behind him.
Chocolate sighed. "I guess we'll just wing it tomorrow night, then, huh?"
Grouch and Snipeshooter were glaring at each other, though Snipeshooter was doing it with a twinge of fear mixed in. "Sounds good to me," Grouch said.
"Yeah. I think I need to … go back to the dorm." Snipeshooter squeaked as Grouch barked when he ran by on his way out the door.
"Congratulations," Chocolate said lightly. "That's the first time I've seen him go back to the dorm willingly since he pledged Lambda."
Grouch put on his bowler hat, nodding. "I do what I can." He sauntered out the door, still glaring around.
Looking around, Chocolate realized that Boots had fallen asleep sometime during their meeting. He shook him awake. "The meeting's over, go sleep in your room," he told him.
"Oh. Good idea," Boots said, yawning. He got up and trudged out of the room.
Chocolate sank back to his bed. "Good God, I can't wait until tomorrow's contest is over," he sighed to himself.
"I need a shot. Or maybe an entire bottle would be a better idea," Bumlets said, looking at his reflection in the mirror affixed to the back of the bedroom door in dismay. "Oh, my God, Chocolate. Why do I let him talk me into things?"
Chocolate shrugged. "I think you make a mighty pretty drag queen, myself."
"Shut it," Bumlets growled. "Get me some alcohol, would you?"
Chocolate walked to their closet and opened it, grabbing bottles from the shelf behind their hanging clothing. He walked to Bumlets' desk, lined up four shot glasses, and filled them with coconut rum. "Are you still gonna tell him tonight?" he asked quietly.
Bumlets took out his stud earrings, replacing them with big fake pearl gaudy ones. He made a face in the mirror at Chocolate. "I dunno," he answered slowly. "It's just… I mean, Swifty's such a good friend. If I tell him that I like him, what if it messes everything up?"
"But it's already not perfect, if you're hiding things like this from him," Chocolate countered. "C'mon, let's do some shots."
Bumlets nodded, crossing the room to the desk. He took one in each hand, and Chocolate did the same. "To knowing what Sarah Jessica Parker's singing about in those Gap commercials now – I enjoy being a girl," Bumlets said dryly, holding up the two small glasses.
Chocolate laughed. "To hopefully never knowing how enjoyable it is to be a girl," he countered, hitting his shot glasses against Bumlets'. They downed them.
Across the hall, Mush was staring in his closet. "Oh, my God, I have nothing to wear," he said, throwing his arms up helplessly. "That's it. Call Skittery, tell him not to come. I can't wear anything in my damn wardrobe!"
"Calm down!" Pie Eater said. "Goodness. Here." He got up and walked over, picked out Mush's tightest pair of jeans and a pink and white pinstriped button-down shirt. "Like that was so hard."
Mush was staring at the clothing doubtfully. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Put them on."
Mush obeyed, then looked at his reflection. "…Okay. Good call, Pie."
Pie Eater shrugged. "You know me, your little fashion consultant."
Mush turned to scrutinize him in response. "Yes, well, Carson, put that collar down before I do it for you."
"Huh?"
Mush walked over and lay the collar flat for him. "Nobody likes a popped collar. Something else popped up… well, not many boys in this house will argue with that. But popped collars? Uh, no."
Pie Eater pouted, but shrugged and left the collar how Mush had left it. Mush began searching for shoes, but was startled by a rapid rapping sound. Looking over sharply, he was surprised to see Pie Eater knocking on the wall. "…Pie, what are you doing?"
Pie Eater looked slightly ashamed. "Well… you see, Snoddy and I figured out that our beds are separated only by this little wall, so…"
"Please do not tell me that you made up a knocking system with your boyfriend," Mush said, sighing. "Please, Pie, you live next door to the bum. It would take you all of five seconds to get out of bed and go over to his room and talk to him in person. That is, if he can't already hear us talking through the wall." Mush climbed on Pie Eater's bed and pressed his face to it, yelling into the plaster, "HIIII, SNODDY!"
"Thanks, Mush," Pie Eater said, pouting.
"No, no, it's cute. Really. It is." Turning away, Mush let himself indulge in a horrified face. He went back to looking for his shoes.
Down the hall, in the room on the other side of Snoddy and Crutchy's, Snitch was trying his hardest to coax Itey into an outfit straight from the 80s.
"I am not wearing that, Snitch. I don't care what you say. I'm not," Itey screeched, as Snitch chased him around with a black miniskirt.
"C'mon! You'll be the hottest bell of the ball!" Snitch wheedled. "How about this gold sweater with shoulder pads at least, then, huh? And we'll tease your hair. C'mon."
"Tease your own hair!" Itey said, sounding slightly hysterical. "If you make me wear that, I'm not going on."
"But Itey, we practiced it with you as the girl! You've gotta wear the outfit! C'mon, I'm gonna look like just as much of a dumbass. I'm wearing rejects from the wardrobe of Wham! here." He pointed to his short shorts and cut-off sweatshirt, topped off with a hat straight from Boy George's repertoire, pushed back far on his head. He beamed. "We'll look fabulous, I swear!"
Itey shook his head. "Not doing it. I don't care what you do. I refuse."
Snitch walked up behind him and kissed his neck, wrapping his arms around his torso from behind. "I promise I'll make it up to you later tonight. You can do whatever you like to me."
Itey's lips pursed at the proposal. "Anything?"
"Anything," Snitch purred.
"Be prepared," Itey warned, turning and grabbing the skirt. "You're gonna owe me big."
"Looking forward to it," Snitch responded, kissing his jaw.
The triple was, for the first time all year, turning into a double. "You guys can't kick me out!" Swifty cried indignantly. "I live here too!"
"But we have to get ready. You know we're singing a duet, and you're…" Dutchy lowered his voice conspiratorially. "…Competition."
Swifty pouted, but to no avail. He found himself sitting firmly outside a minute later, with his keys just as firmly locked inside. "Go practice with your little friend!" had been the suggestion forced upon him by Specs as he shoved him out the door.
He was about to head to Bumlets' room, for lack of other things to do, when David came around the corner, looking… well, drunk. Swifty had never seen him drunk before.
"Hi, Swifty," David said, his eyes unnaturally wide. "I'm going to visit Jack."
Swifty smiled, bemused. "Good idea, David." David nodded and continued walking, stumbling into the wall. He knocked on Cowboy's door.
"Hold on," Cowboy shouted, and Swifty, peeking over, saw that when Cowboy opened the door, he was only half-dressed. "Hey, Dave," he said comfortably, even slightly… friendlier than Swifty had heard him sound before. "What's up?" David pushed him backward into the room and closed the door behind them.
Swifty could not let this pass him by. He walked over and pressed his ear to the door.
David sat down heavily in Cowboy's desk chair, spinning around. "Whee!" he cried, giggling.
"Dave, are you… drunk?" Cowboy asked, although this was more than a little obvious.
"Yes. And I got the alcohol from your best friend, so you cannot yell at me!" David grinned at him. "Ugh, no more spinning," he decided, halting the chair. "But I had to drink, because tonight…" He leaned forward and gestured to Cowboy to come closer, which he did. Expecting a whisper, he was blown away when David instead shouted in his face, "Tonight I sing a song for Mush!"
Cowboy ran a hand through his hair. "You sure about that, Dave? I mean… you're plastered…"
David grinned. "Sure am! There's no way I could have gone up there without being drunk. Remember last year?"
"You sang 'For The Weekend' with Mush and Swifty and won the competition, especially with the striptease you guys threw in. So what?"
"So I puked about thirty billion times before going onstage! I get stage fright. Real bad. But Race said that drinking helps! So I drank!"
"That you did. I'm gonna have to kick your roommate's ass," Cowboy said, frowning.
"How about you, Jack? You singing to anyone special tonight?" David asked, leaning back in the chair and kicking his feet.
Cowboy smiled. "Yeah. But… I think I'd better not tell you about it while you're in this condition."
"Will you tell me later? When I sober up?" David pressed.
Cowboy closed his eyes, willing away his butterflies. "Sure. Sure, if you remember and still want to know."
David nodded. "I will remember. I always remember. I have a good remembery, Jack." He hit his temple with two fingers. "I'm a freaking genius, it seems. Swear." He suddenly seemed to notice Jack's shirtlessness. "You don't even have a shirt on, Jack!"
"Yeah, I know, I was getting dressed when you… stopped by," Cowboy answered. He reached over and picked up his abandoned t-shirt from its spot on his bed.
David stood up. "Let me," he said, a flirty look overtaking his face. He grabbed the shirt and stood expertly in front of Cowboy. "Arms up," he said. "C'mon, I used to do this all the time when my little brother was still a baby."
Cowboy decided to humor him, and put his arms out. Though it took him a good while to figure out how to hold the t-shirt right, David finally succeeded in getting the shirt on Cowboy's arms, and then he started to slide it on over his head. Cowboy was pretty sure he had stopped breathing long ago, and when David suddenly leaned up and began kissing his chest, his face burst into flames. He was glad that David had forgotten that the shirt wasn't over his head yet so that he could die without anyone seeing the shade of red he had taken on. He was fully aware of how stupid they looked – he was standing with his arms in the air, thrust into sleeves, with the rest of the shirt encasing his face, while his drunk crush was kissing his still-bare chest. He struggled a little to pull the shirt on correctly, then looked square at David.
"Sorry," David mumbled. "It's just… I don't know. You just… looked so good. Sorry." He turned and stumbled to the door.
"Is that all you have to say?" Cowboy demanded, hoping for more but knowing he wouldn't receive it.
David turned back around and sauntered back over. The flirty look was still in his eye. He kissed Cowboy's neck, then his jaw, and the corner of his mouth. "No. That's all I have to say," he said, then burst into giggles and ran from the room. He ran smack into Swifty, still crouched outside the door. "Hiii, Swifty!"
"Hi, David," Swifty answered, sounding exhausted. David giggled as he ran down the hallway. Swifty stuck his head in Cowboy's door. "You okay?"
Cowboy looked up at him. "Fine. I just… hate alcohol."
Swifty nodded. "It'll be okay, Cowboy." He walked in and hugged him, and was surprised when the hug he received back was clinging, clutching him so hard he was shocked that his ribs didn't crack.
"Don't tell anyone, okay?" Cowboy asked, sounding dismal.
Swifty smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it," he answered, and he meant it, though two minutes ago he had been preparing to run to Bumlets' room to spread the new gossip. "Crushes suck, don't they?"
Cowboy snorted in agreement. "Yeah. Now I need to get drunk, or I'm gonna kill myself when he sings to Mush."
"I thought you hated alcohol."
Cowboy nodded. "Hate it so much I love it."
"Would you care to share some of your loved-hated alcohol with a cute underage boy named Swifty?" Swifty said.
Cowboy smiled at him. "Sure, it'll be a bribe so that you don't tell anyone what you overheard."
"Wahoo!" Swifty cried, then sat down at Cowboy's desk.
"Next thing I knew, she was all up on me screaming, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…"
"Who okayed this?" Skittery whispered to Mush.
Mush shrugged. "I have no idea. Certainly not anyone sane, that's for sure." They laughed, then continued to watch the warm-up act of Crutchy singing Usher's "Yeah!"
People were still wandering downstairs from getting ready in their rooms, and everyone who had promised to come to watch the mayhem was still trickling in through the front door.
"Take that and rewind it back, Crutchy got the voice to make your booty go –" Crutchy clapped.
"Oh, dear God," Mush moaned, burying his face in Skittery's shoulder. "Is it over?"
"Luckily, it is," Skittery answered as Crutchy got off the makeshift stage set up in front of the window seat in their living room. They had rearranged the room for the contest, and everyone had brought down all of the pillows and blankets available in their rooms so that everyone other than those who got the leather couch (the best seating, but in the very back of the room) got semi-comfortable places to sit. "Unfortunately, now sad silence reigns." He poked Mush's shoulder. "You should go sing."
"We're singing later, though," Mush answered, poking him back. A smile danced around his lips.
Bumlets, who was having a hard time trying to find a comfortable way to sit without flashing everyone in his dress, turned around. "Yeah, Mush. Go sing. C'mon, it's not like it's the real competition yet. And you're following Crutchy singing Usher. Please."
Mush shrugged and stood up. "Okay, then, I will." He went over to Cowboy and Swifty, who were co-running the karaoke machine. "Put in whatever, I'll sing it."
"You got it," Cowboy answered, pushing in a random set of buttons. He handed Mush a microphone. "Have fun!"
"You're trashed out of your mind, aren't you?" Mush asked.
Swifty nodded, looking exasperated. "He is. And I'm trying to program in the numbers, but he won't stop pushing random buttons." Cowboy reached for the machine again, but Swifty swatted at his hands. "No! Bad Cowboy!"
"Your song's starting," Cowboy told Mush, grinning.
Mush listened to the intro. "The Monkees? Really? …Oh, okay then." He climbed on the stage. Skittery catcalled. Mush laughed at him, and then began crooning, singing "I'm A Believer" while looking directly at Skittery. When he sang, "Then I saw his face, now I'm a believer, not a trace of doubt in my mind, I'm in love— I'm a believer, I couldn't leave him if I tried," Bumlets pretended to be a prepubescent girl (looking very much the part already, he could hardly resist) and flung himself at the stage, screaming. Mush played to it, holding out a hand as if to an adoring audience, which Bumlets caught a hold of and then proceeded to scream about even louder. Mush blew him a kiss when the song was over, and Bumlets pretended to swoon.
"I'm never washing my hand again!" he screamed. "Mush Meyers held it!"
Cowboy got up on stage while Mush and Bumlets, smirking, went back to their seats on a couple of body pillows. Everyone had assembled by this point, so Boots hit the main light switch off, Specs turned on the spotlight, and the crowd applauded politely.
"Hey," Cowboy said, swaying slightly. "Welcome to the fifteenth annual Lambda Delta Lambda karaoke competition!" Everyone cheered. "Our first act is the annual make-a-stupid-freshman-go-first song! I'm sure you all remember last year, when we were serenaded by Crutchy with 'Baby Got Back.' This year, give it up for Snipeshooter!"
Snipeshooter, wearing a leprechaun outfit complete with green-and-white striped tights, climbed on the stage and grabbed the microphone. "Thank youuu, Cowboy!" he said excitedly. "This one goes out to Great Aunt Mildred and Fifi. Hit it, fellas!"
He began to sing a rather offkey, lackluster version of the Beatles' "Yellow Submarine," which caused Chocolate to worry about how good he would be when their group got up to sing. The worst part was when Snipeshooter found the need to make the sounds of the submarine along with the background noise before the third verse.
Everyone was more than a little relieved when he got offstage, to be replaced by Cowboy. "…Thanks, Snipeshooter, for upholding our tradition of stupid freshman-ness. That was utterly stupid." Snipeshooter saluted happily as he flounced off to find his cushion again. "Next up, we have that formidable foe, Racetrack Higgins, with his rendition of… 'Sexbomb'!"
Racetrack strutted on stage, and everyone gasped. He had waited to make his entrance until after all the lights were down, and with good cause. He was wearing black patent leather short shorts, a dog collar, thigh-high combat boots, and was carrying a whip. And nothing else.
"Good fucking God," Mush whispered.
"You're fucking hot!" Spot yelled from the back of the room.
No one really paid much attention to Racetrack's accuracy to the words of the song. They were all much more distracted by the way he kept cracking his whip against the floor and the way he was more whimpering the words to the song than actually singing them. He only humped the ground once, which Chocolate was grateful for. Last year, while wearing a much more tame outfit, he had done it so many times they had to stop his song and disinfect the stage before continuing with the competition.
"That was… wow. Tom Jones never did that song justice," Cowboy said, as Racetrack whipped him on his way offstage. "Ow! Ooh, that was kinky. Anyhow, to cleanse your minds – here's Chocolate, Crutchy, Boots, Snipeshooter, and Grouch – oh, and some redheaded kid that the Betas brought along – singing 'With A Little Help From My Friends' by the Beatles!"
The large group clambered on stage, but only got halfway through before Grouch got mad and chased Crutchy, who was practically so panicked by the intimidation that he was bleating, off-stage, with all intentions of seriously hurting him. Boots and Snipeshooter were so off-pitch that Chocolate just stopped singing, and they took their cues from him and dropped out too. The song finished with only Pinhead, who took advantage of the situation to add in a few swear words and finished with a nice loud vibrato.
"Thanks, guys, that was… not nearly good. Anyhow. Next up is a fun little surprise! Something syrupy sweet, which all you lovebirds will appreciate. I give you—Skittery-who-is-a-Beta-but-is-dating-a-Lambda, singing 'I Knew I Loved You' by the greats, Savage Garden!" Cowboy led the applause.
Mush knew that it was indeed syrupy sweet, but he didn't care. Skittery pulled him up on stage with him, and sang without looking at the little blue lyrics-screen once. Mush had no choice but to melt. It was generally agreed by the greater audience to be one of the more nauseating acts of the night, but Mush didn't mind that at all.
"That was… revolting. Thanks, go sit down, you gross happy people," Cowboy said, scoffing. "Next up…" He squinted at his note cards. "Nope, that's not it." He shuffled it to the back. "Next up is that scinti… that skinti… oh, fuck that. That adorable couple, Snitch and Itey, singing—"
"No, it's not!" David piped up, standing up and nearly falling back down. "It's my turn, Jack! I go after Skittery! I checked the schedule!" He was tripping over people in his attempt to get toward the stage.
"There's a schedule?" Snitch asked Itey, who shrugged, not having known about it, either.
"Dave, you're trashed. I don't think you want to—" It was saying something when Cowboy, who was trashed himself, was preaching to other people.
David made it to the stage and grabbed the microphone. "This one goes out… to Mush Meyers." Mush stared at him, then looked at Skittery, then stared at David again. Not even waiting for Swifty to cue up the music, David began wailing a capella into the microphone. "They read you Cindereeeeeeeeeeeella, you hoped it would come truuuuuuuue, and one day your Prince Charming would come rescue youuuuu…"
"All 4 One's 'I Can Love You Like That'?" Skittery asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Interesting choice."
"What the hell is he doing?" Mush wondered.
Cowboy luckily wrestled the microphone away before David could do much more damage. "Thanks for that, David," he said, patting him on the back. "Go over there, Swifty has a nice chair for you."
"A chair for me?" David squealed. "Oh, okay!"
"Now that the drunken interlude is over – another fine Lambda tradition, I assure you – I give you Snitch and Itey, singing 'Love Shack' by the B-52's!"
It was the best act thus far, although everyone thought it was a bit unfair of Snitch to steal the microphone right before Itey's biggest line to screech the "Tin roof rusted!" line, when Itey had even dressed up in super 80s drag. However, they forgave him because he was wearing a fabulous cut-off sweatshirt and short shorts.
"And now," Cowboy said, striking a pose. "I give you… me! I'll be singing 'Livin' On A Prayer' by those princes of rock, Bon Fucking Jovi!" He struck a pose while Swifty cued up his music.
It was the perfect drunk serenade everyone hoped for. He screeched with the best of them, perfectly upholding his reputation for drunken karaoke. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, so the audience applauded him heartily, though not as much as they had for Snitch and Itey.
"If Skittery gets to sing, then I get to, too," Spot decided, climbing on the stage. He shouted over to Swifty, " 'No Sleep Till Brooklyn,' if you please! Beastie Boys!" Swifty shrugged and put it on. Spot jumped around the stage, shouting the lyrics at the top of his lungs. It was actually a pretty decent Beastie Boys impersonation, and the audience nodded to each other and gave him a decent reception. He grinned as he got offstage and headed straight for the back, darkest corner, where Racetrack and his whip were waiting.
"Next up… yet another gross ballad sung by a goopy couple! That's right, give it up for Pie Eater and Snoddy with their rendition of 'Come To My Window'."
The crowd wasn't expecting much, but Pie Eater and Snoddy actually did a very nice job, singing in harmony and trading off on verse lyrics. They were well rehearsed, and were dressed in tuxes, and their show was so tasteful – particularly after the other ones of the evening – that the audience embraced them. They got a standing ovation when they climbed offstage.
Bumlets and Swifty's "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights" by Meat Loaf was an absolute smash, garnering them even more of a response than Pie Eater and Snoddy got. Skittery and Mush's "Love Will Keep Us Alive" by the Eagles made everyone sigh, because they looked so happy to be singing at each other. It just wasn't enough to touch Bumlets and Swifty's record. Mush put it in perspective, though, when he pointed out that there was no way they could have beaten Bumlets in drag. He was just too damn pretty.
Specs and Dutchy smiled as they got onstage after Cowboy announced them. Dutchy was holding an acoustic guitar, and he motioned to Swifty that they didn't need their preprogrammed track. He began playing the chords on the guitar, not sounding half bad. "This goes out to our dear roommate, Swifty," he called to the crowd, who all said "aww" in mock seriousness. "If I had a million dollars," Dutchy sang.
"If I had a million dollars," Specs backed up, looking a bit like Bobbi Culp from Saturday Night Live with the amount of concentration he was putting into the song.
"I would buy you a house," Dutchy sang.
"I would buy you a house," Specs reaffirmed.
They continued singing their favorite Barenaked Ladies song, and while the audience thought it was a fun ditty, they were confused as to its relevance to Swifty – particularly when the two bespectacled boys sang together, "I'd buy your love."
Toward the end of the song, however, Specs made a head motion to Bumlets, whom he had employed to run the spotlight. Bumlets made it move over to the right of the stage, while Specs and Dutchy walked with its beam over to Swifty. They sat on either of his legs, which was a bit awkward with the guitar.
"If I had a million dollars," Dutchy sang, and after Specs repeated it, he added, "I would buy you a monkey."
"Haven't you always wanted a monkey?" Specs asked. Swifty nodded in agreement, laughing.
They finished the rest of the song sitting on Swifty's lap, ending with the lovely finishing line of "If I had a million dollars, I'd be rich."
The crowd loved them, understandably, because they hadn't felt the need to resort to cheap tricks to win. There was also the added bonus of Swifty leaning up and kissing Specs with relish, then breaking away and moving to French kiss Dutchy instead. Then, when they broke apart, Specs and Dutchy began to kiss.
Cowboy, drunk and yet still able to see where this was going, stood up and made motions for Bumlets to put the spotlight back on the stage. Bumlets, like all the other members of the frat, continued to merely stare at the three boys, though his openmouthed stare had a twinge of sorrow in it.
"Ya know, I always wondered about that triple," Racetrack said, from his corner.
"Bumlets! Spotlight! Over here! Before we lose the audience!" Cowboy shouted, leaping on the stage. Bumlets finally came to and swung the beam of the light back onto Cowboy. "Heh, heh… well. I can honestly say that that has never happened in Lambda karaoke history before." He squinted off to the side. "Are they still—? Oh. They are. Okay, so let's give a big round of applause to Specs and Dutchy… and, I suppose, their roommate, Swifty… Yeah. Wow. Okay, next up, we have our social member!"
"What?" Mush whispered hastily.
"What's wrong?" Skittery, who had been taking advantage of the darkness to nibble at his neck, whispered back.
"Our only social member is…" Mush let out a groan as the singer walked onstage. "Blink."
Skittery went rigid, like a dog protecting his house from an intruder. "If he does anything…"
Blink cleared his throat. "Thanks, Cowboy. This one goes out to… well. You know who you are." Though the spotlight was in his eyes, he glared at exactly the spot where Mush and Skittery were. Mush gulped and tried to hide in Skittery's shoulder. "My tears are fallin', 'cause you've taken him away. And though it really hurts me so, there's something that I've gotta say. Take good care of my baby, please don't ever make him blue. Just tell him that you love him, make sure you're thinking of him, in everything you say and do. Oh, take good care of my baby, now don't you ever make him cry. Just let your love surround him, paint rainbow all around him, don't let him see a cloudy sky."
"Jesus H. Christ," Skittery said, half-rising. "Why is he here?"
"Don't," Mush whispered, pulling him back down. "Please, it'll just make it worse."
"So take good care of my baby, be just as kind as you can be. And if you should discover that you don't really love him, just send my baby back home to me." Not even bothering to finish the song, Blink dropped the microphone to the stage and stalked off it. He angrily wiped away tears.
Skittery was up and out of his seat before Mush could stop him. He met Blink at the door. "What's the big idea?" he hissed, over the applause that Cowboy was encouraging the audience to participate in. "He's happy with me. Why are you trying to ruin that?"
Blink stared back. "He was happy with me. Why did you have to go and ruin that?"
Skittery shook his head. "He wasn't, though. You can ask him yourself, instead of stalking him and making him worry…"
"I am not stalking him!" Blink shot back. "I'm just…"
"Look, Blink. It's cute that you guys were first boyfriends and everything. Honestly, it's adorable. But you guys just don't have anything in common anymore." Skittery lowered his voice. "And I'm pretty damn sure I saw you being sketchy, looking in windows of this house last night. If I ever catch you doing it again, I'll kick your ass. Stop messing with his head."
"I'm not messing with his head!"
Skittery threw up his arms. "Then why the hell were you hiding in the bushes outside last night when he and I came here to escape my house?"
"I wasn't… I was…" Blink's face was flushing. "You just don't get it, do you? Mush and I are supposed to be together. We just are."
"Don't you want him to be happy?"
Blink glared at him. "That's a low blow."
Skittery shrugged. "I'm just asking. Don't you?"
"Of course I do," Blink spat back.
Skittery gave him a pointed look. "I'm making him happy. I'm taking care of him. And I'm doing everything you just said in that song… I'm just not going to send him back to you."
Blink wound up and began punching Skittery. "It isn't fair!" he screamed, drowning out Specs' rather amusing deadpan version of "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)". "It just isn't! I didn't do anything to deserve this!"
Skittery didn't punch back, though his fists were clenched and it was obvious that this was a real struggle. Mush finally intervened after the third punch was thrown, standing in between them. Blink, who wouldn't dream of punching Mush, lowered his fists. Mush glared at him, unable to believe that this was his same sweet little Blink, before turning and hugging Skittery. "You okay?" he murmured to him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Skittery answered, hugging him back and letting his hands unclench. Kid Blink turned and stormed outside.
Up on stage, Specs decided to add in some jazz hands to get the attention back on himself. "Give it to me, baby! Uh-huh, uh-huh!" he called, with a wide, fake grin.
Mush kissed Skittery. "This will get better," he said, pressing their foreheads together.
"Even if it doesn't… you're worth it," Skittery answered, giving him a kiss back.
Shoutouts!
Charlie Bird: I love the Javid in this story. OMG. Okay, so I really just love the David. But whatever, Jack isn't as evil as I normally make him. Er. And there, Pieddy. Be happy. :P Now where's –my- promised Pieddy? EH? EH! …Yeah. I love you, my Pet:D You are such fun.
Queen Kez the Wicked: You are my hero and I adore you. :D I'm so glad you found Oh Captain, my Captain, since nobody else did. And you are the only person who would be so happy about me giving Swifty cranberry juice. :D Now, when you left the review saying "Two words: Savage Garden"… was this good? Or bad:D Hee.
Pyromaniacal Llama: I had to make –someone- have a crush on Antonio. Mostly because I've been living on Evita lately, but… ya know. Uh. Sorry about the destruction of Blush? –isn't really sorry but pretends really hard like she is!- :D
Twilight-maiden: Yeah, Race has his moments. Hee. He also has nymophaniac sprees. –nods- He's an interesting boy. :D Yes, usually Blush are inseparable in my world too… until Sita and I invented Skush. Now Skittery and Mush trade off on every other week and holidays. :D And the Blush isn't gonna get better. : Sorry!
Erin Go Bragh: Oh, who doesn't love slash? Besides my mother. Aha. And I love Savage Garden. "Affirmation" was like… the anthem of my life in high school, hahaha. Yeah, classwork sucks… I've done about zero of my homework over break… I've been too busy writing this. : Whoops? LOL, but I'm glad you liked the Javid last chapter, because I adored it. :D Thanks for the review!
Stage: Hey… -looks around for drywit!specs- I need him back, he's currently singing "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)."Swisputchy is my newest brainchild and love. You're the only one who commented on it (well, Charlie knew about it, but that's because I can't keep any secrets to myself). –loves!-
Strawberri Shake: Yay! I'm glad:D And indeed, Antonio teh sex. I love Pie Eater, and I knew if I put him in the story, Keza would review. So I did! And she did! Woo! Haha. I love Snittery, but I love Snitey too. Lately I've been in a Snitey mood, since I've been writing Skush… Yes. And there. Skush kissed. XD Thanks for your reviews and keeping up with the story:D
Studentnumber24601: I'm pretty sure you're back to hating me after this chapter, so… apology? –hopeful grin of knowing she's the bane of your existence right now but still adoring you?- And know that no matter what Mush and Skittery do, I still adore you. Honestly!
Omni: Your reviews the best. Just so you know. :D
And now, since this chapter is already longer than a mother, I'm out. –lessthanthrees!- Please review:D
