How do you let go of everything you had? The night was so thick with darkness that she couldn't seem to gulp down enough air. She felt like she was drowning. Suddenly exhausted, she slumped down on the sand. She wrapped her arms around her knees like she always used to as a kid. Watching the nothingness in front of her, she shivered. There was no breeze. Slowly, though she did not realize it, she drifted off into the dream she'd had at least ten times. This time it was different.

A boat, a cruise ship valiantly stopped at the port. Waiting for it were hundreds of people, excited, happy people with cameras and signs. There were some eager reporters, there were a couple kids… there was Shannon's dad, and there, Boone's mom. They were standing together, grinning at her. She flung herself into her father's arms. Pulling her back at arms' length, he beamed at her. "We thought you were dead."

But her stepmom shoved her roughly, a hungry frown on her face. "Where's Boone?"

She was surprised even in her sleep. That wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to go to an elegant restaurant after she did some hardcore and much needed shopping…

"Where is he?"

"Where is he?"

Suddenly, the whole crowd had turned to her accusingly, chanting, "Where is he? What did you do?"

Frightened, she scanned the group or a familiar face, a friend, someone who didn't hate her. There was Jack, leering at her. He had his arms crossed and there was a mean glint in his eyes.

"It wasn't my fault." He said, and slowly lifted his arm and pointed unflinchingly at her. "She was the one who wasn't there."

Horrified, Shannon stumbled backwards. "I didn't know… I was only gone for a night…"

"No, Shannon." Locke stepped out from behind a cluster of accusers. "You were never there for Boone."

Panic gripped her, and a violent wind picked up. Her hair whipped around her face, and she felt as if each strand of hair scraped against her cheeks until they bled.

"That's not true." She choked out.

Sayid suddenly stood in front of her, face to face. His strong arms were stiff against his sides, and he looked very grave.

"Sayid," Shannon breathed with relief. He would protect her from these monsters. He would hold her tightly and everything else would dissolve away.

He began to laugh. More than anything else that had happened in her dream, this shocked Shannon the most. Sayid's laugh rose insanely over everyone else's yells and jeers. When he spoke, his voice was magnified and it echoed through her head with a searing pain.

"You said you never loved Boone."

"That's not what I said!" Shannon screamed. "That's not what I said! I loved Boone! I loved him, I always loved him."

"Then why did you let him die?" Sayid asked coldly, with an air of superiority.

Shannon collapsed on the hard stone floor, cutting her knees, covering her face iwth her hands, not with grief, but with shame. "I didn't, I didn't." She sobbed over and over, but no one could hear her over their chants of "You let him die, you let him die, you let him die…"

She awoke with a start. She was covered in a cold sweat, and was shaking violently. She looked around her.

There were no jeering, hating crowds.

There was no one yelling at her, no one blaming her.

And somehow that was worse.