COLD OPENING
FADE IN:
INT. HIGH SCHOOL—GYM—DAYWe see a dozen or so people decorating the gym for what looks to be a dance. Streamers, banners, flowers, the whole nine yards. From the looks of things it's a Valentine's Day dance. Among the decorators we spy LIZZIE, MIRANDA, and KATE.
KATE
This is so much better than in middle school.
LIZZIE
We definitely have more to work with. Not to mention a larger budget.
ANIMATED LIZZIE
Bigger is always better!
KATE
So Miranda, have you found a date yet for the dance?
MIRANDA
(disgruntled)
No. It's Veruca's turn to date Tudgeman…
LIZZIE
There are plenty of other guys Miranda. Ask one of them.
KATE
How about Bobby Mainkin?
MIRANDA
(horrified)
You mean 'Bad Breath Bobby'?
DIGITAL STILLS'Bad Breath Bobby' walking up to, and greeting, a group of fellow classmates.
Classmates clutch their noses/throats at the vile stench.
Bobby walks away cheerfully, unaware that his classmates have collapsed in heaps behind him.
BACK TO SCENEMIRANDA
No thanks.
LIZZIE
Then what about Charlie Jinkins?
MIRANDA
'Crazy Eyes' Charlie?
DIGITAL STILLA photo of a good-looking kid—except that his eyes are looking in two different directions.
BACK TO SCENE
MIRANDA
That's okay. I'll find someone.
KATE
You'd better. You'd look pretty funny coming to the Valentine's Day dance without a valentine.
MIRANDA
And who's going with you Kate?
KATE
(brightly)
Ethan of course.
MIRANDA
I have to say I envy you Lizzie.
LIZZIE
What?
MIRANDA
You've got an automatic date now that you and Gordo are dating.
LIZZIE
Actually, he hasn't asked me to the dance…
MIRANDA
Why should he? Since you two are an item he's probably assuming that you'll go together.
LIZZIE
I know, and that's the problem. I don't just want it 'assumed' that we'll go out. A girl likes to be made to feel special, you know?
ANIMATED LIZZIE
A girl has needs!
MIRANDA
Have you tried talking about this with Gordo?
LIZZIE
That would defeat the whole point.
MIRANDA
Uh huh. Good luck with that…
ANIMATED LIZZIE
Luck? There's no luck to it. It's all about womanly skill!
FADE OUT:
END OF COLD OPENING
