COLD OPENING

FADE IN:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL—GYM—DAY

We see a dozen or so people decorating the gym for what looks to be a dance. Streamers, banners, flowers, the whole nine yards. From the looks of things it's a Valentine's Day dance. Among the decorators we spy LIZZIE, MIRANDA, and KATE.

KATE

This is so much better than in middle school.

LIZZIE

We definitely have more to work with. Not to mention a larger budget.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Bigger is always better!

KATE

So Miranda, have you found a date yet for the dance?

MIRANDA

(disgruntled)

No. It's Veruca's turn to date Tudgeman…

LIZZIE

There are plenty of other guys Miranda. Ask one of them.

KATE

How about Bobby Mainkin?

MIRANDA

(horrified)

You mean 'Bad Breath Bobby'?

DIGITAL STILLS

'Bad Breath Bobby' walking up to, and greeting, a group of fellow classmates.

Classmates clutch their noses/throats at the vile stench.

Bobby walks away cheerfully, unaware that his classmates have collapsed in heaps behind him.

BACK TO SCENE

MIRANDA

No thanks.

LIZZIE

Then what about Charlie Jinkins?

MIRANDA

'Crazy Eyes' Charlie?

DIGITAL STILL

A photo of a good-looking kid—except that his eyes are looking in two different directions.

BACK TO SCENE

MIRANDA

That's okay. I'll find someone.

KATE

You'd better. You'd look pretty funny coming to the Valentine's Day dance without a valentine.

MIRANDA

And who's going with you Kate?

KATE

(brightly)

Ethan of course.

MIRANDA

I have to say I envy you Lizzie.

LIZZIE

What?

MIRANDA

You've got an automatic date now that you and Gordo are dating.

LIZZIE

Actually, he hasn't asked me to the dance…

MIRANDA

Why should he? Since you two are an item he's probably assuming that you'll go together.

LIZZIE

I know, and that's the problem. I don't just want it 'assumed' that we'll go out. A girl likes to be made to feel special, you know?

ANIMATED LIZZIE

A girl has needs!

MIRANDA

Have you tried talking about this with Gordo?

LIZZIE

That would defeat the whole point.

MIRANDA

Uh huh. Good luck with that…

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Luck? There's no luck to it. It's all about womanly skill!

FADE OUT:

END OF COLD OPENING