ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. MCGUIRE HOME—LIVING ROOM—DAY

SAM and JO are sitting together on the couch.

SAM

You hear that?

JO

No, what?

SAM

It's peace and quiet.

JO

(smiling)

Sounds good.

But even as they're sitting there enjoying the quietude, in barges MATT and LANNY.

MATT

Clear the space people.

JO

Matt, honey, what are you doing?

MATT

Me and Lanny have to practice our vocal work for our boy band.

SAM

That sounds… Loud.

MATT

(enthusiastically)

Only if we do it right!

Sam and Jo look at each other helplessly as their peace and quiet is broken up for good.

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL—QUAD—DAY

Lizzie and GORDO are sitting at a table just "chillin'"

LIZZIE

(slyly)

So, Gordo, the dance is coming up soon…

GORDO

Uh huh.

LIZZIE

It should be fun…

GORDO

Yep. You guys put together a great theme this year. 'The moonlit sea'. Very atmospheric.

LIZZIE

Yeah. A great excuse to go with someone special…

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Like your girlfriend! Hello!

GORDO

We should have a good time.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

That's not exactly an invite.

LIZZIE

(frustrated)

That's assuming of course that we're going together.

GORDO

(blinking)

Well, yeah. Why wouldn't we?

LIZZIE

N—No reason.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

What am I, a piece of furniture to be taken for granted? Girls are very sensitive creatures, requiring constant delicate handling.

(beat)

So ask me out already, you big doofus!

Lizzie looks off, perturbed.

CUT TO:

EXT. MCGUIRE HOME—BACKYARD—DAY

Sam and Jo are sitting on lounge chairs, enjoying the peace and quiet of outdoors suburbia.

SAM

(sighing)

Ah…

JO

I second that motion.

SAM

This is what it's all about. Lemonade, privacy, and best of all, no—

Enter Matt and Lanny.

JO

Matt?

Matt and Lanny are carrying armfuls of junk.

SAM

What'cha up to buddy?

MATT

Lanny came up with a great idea.

SAM

(to Jo)

(muttering)

Doesn't he always?

MATT

We volunteered to clean up people's yards. You know, picking up all their junk and stuff.

JO

(pleased)

That's very nice of you boys.

SAM

Yeah. It's always worth doing a good deed.

MATT

Especially since it'll make us a fortune!

JO

Excuse me?

MATT

We can recycle all this stuff and get money for it! Let's get to work Lanny.

Dropping their armloads of stuff, they make a racket. They then proceed to make more noise by sorting through all the junk separating the recyclables. In the process they shatter Sam and Jo's solitude.

SAM

Uh, son? You doing that out here?

MATT

Have to dad, not enough room inside.

Jo and Sam look at each other as their peace and quiet is again interrupted.

CUT TO:

INT. MALL—DAY

Lizzie is walking along with Miranda and Kate on her way to meet up with Gordo.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Sure I'm going to end up going to the dance with Gordo anyway, but it's the principal of the thing.

As the girls are walking, they notice PARKER MCKINZIE come up to Gordo. Lizzie's surprised/concerned.

RESET TO:

Gordo and Parker at a food court.

PARKER

Hey Gordo.

GORDO

What's up Parker?

PARKER

Oh, nothing. Just saw you here and thought I'd say hi.

GORDO

(jokingly)

Hi.

Parker laughs.

PARKER

So… what'cha doin'? You here alone?

GORDO

Nah, I'm just waiting for Lizzie and Miranda.

PARKER

Uh huh.

(beat)

I guess the big dance is coming up…

GORDO

Yeah. Looks like a lot of work went into it this year.

PARKER

Yeah, totally.

(beat)

So, I guess you'll be going with Lizzie?

GORDO

As far as I know.

PARKER

Have you asked her yet?

GORDO

(confused)

Well, no. But we're going steady, it's sort of implied.

PARKER

But she hasn't actually said she's going with you?

GORDO

Not in so many words… But it's understood.

PARKER

(knowingly)

Uh huh. See you at the dance Gordo…

Exit Parker. However, reenter Lizzie and troupe.

LIZZIE

(to Gordo)

What'd Parker want?

PARKER

Just to say hi.

LIZZIE

(uncomfortable)

U—Uh, huh. Any—Anything else?

GORDO

We talked about the dance. That was pretty much it.

KATE

The dance huh…?

She gives a significant 'look' to Lizzie and Miranda.

LIZZIE

D—Did she say who she's going with?

GORDO

No, she didn't get around to it.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

I'll bet she didn't!

As they all head off on their previously established routine, Miranda and Lizzie fall slightly aback.

MIRANDA

(de sotto)

(gangster impression)

You want I should take care of Parker?

Animated Lizzie is dressed in an old style gangster suit and hat.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

(gangster impression)

I say we give her some cement galoshes, see!

LIZZIE

What'd Parker really want?

MIRANDA

Why not ask her?

ANIMATED LIZZIE

I love having brilliant friends!

LIZZIE

I think I will.

CUT TO:

INT. MCGUIRE HOME—BASEMENT—DAY

Sam and Jo are sitting down in their basement, trying to get some peace and relaxation.

JO

Finally, peace.

As our duo get comfy and at ease, enter Matt and Lanny once again.

MATT

Sorry dad, you're going to have to move.

SAM

Why? What's going on?

MATT

Lanny and I have a live web show to do. And time's a wasten'.

Lanny taps his watch to emphasize the point.

JO

(frustrated)

Now wait a min—

SAM

(interrupting)

Let's just go Jo.

JO

But we—

SAM

(interrupting)

I've got an idea.

Sam and Jo exit, leaving the basement to the children.

CUT TO:

INT. DIGITAL BEAN—DAY

Lizzie and Miranda are sitting at the counter; Lizzie is frustrated.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Parker's obviously up to no good. Those shifty, beady, eyes. That sloping forehead. Prototypical criminal features if ever I've seen them.

(beat)

Whew, I'd better lay off of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle!

LIZZIE

I mean, what's Parker up to?

MIRANDA

Well, it could be that she was just making conversation.

(off look)

Right.

MIRANDA (CON'T.)

Seriously Lizzie, you don't have anything to worry about. You and Gordo are totally an item.

LIZZIE

I know. It's just… I don't like Parker hanging around Gordo. That's all.

MIRANDA

She wasn't really hanging around him…

LIZZIE

You know what I mean. I just don't—

Lizzie breaks off in mid sentence as who should come through the door but Parker herself.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Speak of the boy stealer!

MIRANDA

Here's your chance. Go ask her what she wanted.

LIZZIE

(resolute)

I am.

She gets up and marches over to Parker.

MIRANDA

(aghast)

I wasn't serious!

LIZZIE

Hi Parker.

PARKER

Oh, hi Lizzie.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Don't "hi Lizzie" me you—you home wreaker!

LIZZIE

So Parker, I saw you at the mall talking to Gordo.

PARKER

Uh huh.

LIZZIE

What was it that you wanted?

PARKER

Didn't Gordo tell you?

ANIMATED LIZZIE

That's not the point!

LIZZIE

I'm asking you.

PARKER

Lizzie, is there something you want to say?

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Yeah, stay away from my Gordo!

LIZZIE

(laying her cards on the table)

Okay, you know Gordo and I are an item, right? What're you doing hanging around him?

PARKER

I can't talk to someone I like?

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Define 'like'.

LIZZIE

Define 'like'.

PARKER

Look Lizzie, you don't own Gordo.

Lizzie looks at her, speechless. Animated Lizzie however isn't.

ANIMATED LIZZIE

Yes I do! And I have the receipts to prove it!

Parker walks off, as Lizzie stands there stunned.

FADE OUT:

END OF ACT ONE