Admittedly, I am shamelessly proud of the section with Scarlet. Maybe I shouldn't be, who knows, but I still like that part.
Can you guess where Scarlet is in that first paragraph? ;)
I am also pretty shamelessly happy with two lines in this chapter; and they are both Reno's. (The "clowns would come out" line and the "your goddamn hair," line, if you must know.) Along with Cid's previous "your psycho ass will be a huge help," these two lines are among my favorites.
And this chapter is the last before the downturn into some serious Cloud angst. However, I fell into the trap of completely gratuitous Cloud lust. This was the chapter that I was so happy with as I was writing it, then, on reading it back I said, "wow, overdo it much?" I have to admit, I'm partial to Cloud and Tifa, but as I said in the very beginning of this thing, I didn't want to be 'shippy. The fic isn't about romance or who hooks up with whom. Instead, I tried to imagine them as two adults living in an enforced situation. They obviously love each other, but romance and snogging are the least of their worries. Do they just love each other, or are (were) they (wouldbe) lovers? I couldn't decide and I still can't, so the reader can decide.
I guess in this chapter I wanted to show Cloud as this totally repressed creature. He's got all these human urges and isn't allowed to act on any of them. He's good at heart, but all that repression and opression... it's like shaking a bottle of champagne, isn't it?
...POP!
Whatever. OMFG NAKIE!Cloud!11
ShinRa
Scarlet tied her hair in a careless knot at the back of her neck as she crouched down behind an overturned car. The pavement was cracked and bloody, and in the first light of morning, she could see a trail of blood that led down the road, too. Someone had been hurt here, but had managed to run away, or crawl away, more likely. She guessed that he or she hadn't gotten far.
The stench here was atrocious, worse than anything she had ever smelled in Hojo's lab or the ShinRa mansion. She was wearing a mask over her nose and mouth, but it did little to prevent the stench of Mako, fire, panic and destruction from reaching her senses. At least she had Materia that prevented her from being poisoned like some of the others.
She was tired, but not uncomfortable in jeans and a practical shirt, with sturdy hiking boots on her feet. Oh, Rufus wouldn't even recognize her if he could see her this way, she mused. She was sweaty and filthy, and doing the job that the Turks should have been doing, had they decided to stay with her. Heidegger was around somewhere, but he was very little help to her. He was too slow and unwieldy to get this job done.
She had been taking clones down all morning.
Another one came into view, lumbering down the ruined road on a broken ankle. This was the sort that repelled her: not only uninhabited, but untrained and unresponsive. It looked young, only around eighteen or nineteen years old. It was impossible to tell their ages by looking at them; they all aged at different rates. This one had long, jet black hair, and was narrow in the shoulders and hips. It was clearly male, with angular, almost pointy features, and brightly glowing eyes. It looked familiar to her.
Hojo.
Scarlet took aim and fired. Her bullet hit the clone in the shoulder and spun him to the side as he fell. Damn, but she was a bad shot. She always had been. She knew she wasn't cut out for this work, but so few people were willing to do it.
She took a look around and, seeing no one else in the street, came around the side of the car to finish what she had started.
The clone was lying in the road, wailing inhumanly. Of course. No one had ever even taught it to scream. Without getting too close, she aimed her gun between its eyes and fired, blowing bits of Professor Hojo's genetic makeup out the back of its head. As its biological functions shut down, the expression in its eyes never changed.
Scarlet shuddered. There was something to that spiritual crap, and she couldn't deny it.
There were different types of clones, and she thought she might now be more familiar with them than much of the scientific community. There were inhabited clones; clones that clearly had something inside of them, some essence or spark, and perhaps that might have gone unnoticed had not some clones been created with nothing inside them at all. The empty clones were the ones that threw inhabited ones into relief. And there were two kinds of uninhabited clones that she had seen, and she called them the Drones and the Zombies. Those were her own terms for them; she had no idea if the creators had different names for them. She could tell them apart immediately. The Drones had been trained, and worked like robots. All clones had brains and chemical responses, so they could be taught how to speak and walk and take orders, like computers. The Zombies, on the other hand, had never been trained, and had likely had little to no human contact. Possibly they were imperfect in some way, because the people who had created them had never bothered to socialize them. She wondered what they had done with these clones. Probably kept them in cages for future experiments, she guessed. She'd seen more of this kind of clone walking around the ruins of NeoMidgar than any other. Some of them were still wearing ruined white lab scrubs, and others were naked. They walked around covered in filth, scavenging for food. She'd seen one trying to eat a broken beer bottle. He'd screamed as it cut his lips and tongue, and then he'd tried again to bite it. Scarlet had shot that one three times before hitting her mark. The Zombies were the worst; they unnerved her.
And she had just killed a Hojo Zombie.
Hojo. They had cloned Hojo, as if one psychotic, powerful genius out to destroy the Planet hadn't been enough.
Unfortunately, most of the clones had survived the blast, and were now wandering the wrecked streets of NeoMidgar. That was the one part of Scarlet's plan that had gone awry; she hadn't banked on that little detail. She guessed that they were so full of Mako that it took a lot to injure them, and even more to kill them. But the good old bullet to the brain never failed, and she and Heidegger were doing what had to be done. More importantly, she was doing it in the name of ShinRa, and she knew that Rufus would approve.
Rufus would be appalled if he knew that these psychotic scientists were carrying on Hojo's work from old ShinRa files. Oh, he would be so quietly, seethingly angry. "Scarlet," he would say in a very even, low voice, "what do you propose we do to this lab? Are you in agreement that it should be liquidated?"
And she would have built those three little bombs for him, and he would have sent the Turksjust as she had, only without the trickeryto plant them. And then, when this mess had happened and NeoMidgar was in ruins and overrun with Mako-injected clones, he would have sent the Turks out to clean up the mess.
Well, Scarlet had no Turks, and no one else she trusted to do this kind of work. Rufus, though, would approve. He appreciated people who took the initiative instead of waiting around for someone else to do the job.
Her PHS rang, and she jumped out of her reverie. She fished it out of the holder on her belt and checked the caller ID. It was Heidegger. She hadn't expected it to be anyone else. She snapped it open and spoke through her mask.
"Yes?" she said.
"Heidegger."
"I know that," Scarlet snapped. "Where are you?"
"Sector Six. I've taken ten of them. It's crazy here, Scarlet. The evacuation is moving this way. There are news reporters; I've got to move on. Where are you?"
"Sector Five, outside of Reeve's stupid arcade, or what's left of it. I've taken fourteen and it's deserted."
"Any news at all of the Turks?"
"I haven't heard a thing," Scarlet answered. She was annoyed, but not surprised, that even in the midst of all this, Heidegger was still obsessing over his lost pets. "Move on to Seven, Heidegger, and let me handle the news and camera crews. Try not to be seen."
"Don't twist your pretty little ankles on that broken pavement," Heidegger said.
Ah, Scarlet thought, a man's reaction to taking an order from a woman. "Don't cave in the rest of the ground with your fat ass," she replied, and snapped the PHS off before he could get the last word.
She allowed herself a small chuckle at Heidegger's expense and prepared to move on.
There was one clone she was ready to see at every corner, and she hadn't seen him yet.
It was not so much that she would have dearly loved to put a bullet between those overly bright, yet oddly cautious blue eyes. She had nothing against Cloud Strife as a person, she supposed, but if he was alive, he was as dangerous to ShinRa as he had ever been. Scarlet had heard the rumor that he had been killed, and had even heard the rumor that she herself had killed him. She'd seen the grave, simply marked "Strife," outside of Cosmo Canyon, and while that didn't necessarily prove that he was dead, it wouldn't entirely surprise her if he'd gotten himself killed.
Either way, it was likely that his DNA was walking around somewhere in NeoMidgar. If they'd cloned Hojo, they'd probably cloned Strife, too. If he had gotten himself killed, then it was possible, if not likely, that Cloud Strife would have been re-born into his own clone.
It was better to be safe than sorry, and if she saw so much as one of his straw-blond hairs, she would quickly blow his spiky head off his shoulders - inhabited, Zombie, Drone or what-have-you. Cloud Strife must not be allowed to interfere with the delicate, new ShinRa.
Scarlet began to walk on towards Sector Six. She would cross through Six, take out any clones that Heidegger left behind, and see if there were any news reporters still hanging around. If there were, perhaps she might have a few statements for them. She would tell them that ShinRa were here to help, that she was trying to make sense of this tragedy and to re-capture those responsible. She would hint that their leader had deserted them, and that was such a shame, because she'd had every confidence in Reeve Skye before this, and that it would be awful if he proved unfit to run this city. She would avoid any questions about the clones. She would deflect those questions with references to gil for NeoMidgar.
The more she thought about what she wanted to say to them, the more she hoped that they would still be there when she got to Sector Six.
As she walked on, a sound from behind her caught her attention. It was the shuffling sound of an uninhabited Zombie clone dragging its feet. It could have been an injured person, she guessed, but something in her gut told her it was another clone. The moaning, gurgling sounds it was making were too rhythmic and autonomic. Resignedly, Scarlet turned around and took aim.
She had expected to see Cloud Strife around every corner. She was prepared for it.
She had not prepared herself to see Rufus ShinRa.
His yellow hair was long, down to his shoulders, and matted. He shuffled towards her slowly, drawn by the scent of her human chemicals, and moving forward because stimuli told him to put one foot in front of the other. That action was probably using up most of his brain-power.
"Shin...a... Shin...a... Shin...a..." He repeated these sounds as if stuck in a mental loop. They were probably the two sounds he had heard most of his life, and the only ones he had absorbed into his memory. They were nonsense sounds to him, like everything else. His eyes were as blue as she remembered.
Scarlet held her breath and pulled the trigger. Her aim, for once, was true. The body fell backwards without a fuss and landed in the middle of the cracked pavement, arms outstretched to either side of the median on what used to be the road.
When Scarlet let go of the breath she'd been holding, it came out in a short, desolate cry, which she cut off before it was finished. She lowered the gun and choked back a few weak sobs. This was no time to lose her mind; she still had his war to fight.
Scarlet mustered all of her will and walked over to the body of the clone. She was aware that she was shuffling her feet, just as he had done only moments before. She knew she must do this now, because she probably would never get to do it again.
When she reached him, she knelt down and took a long look. His eyes had closed, and he looked young, only into his late teens. With his eyes closed, there was no vacant expression to look at. If not for the matted hair and the glaring hole in his headwhich she specifically did not look athe just looked like Rufus ShinRa, only asleep. Oh, by Shiva, he looked peaceful. He wore white scrubs that were too short for his lanky limbs. Rufus would have hated that. It was a gift that he didn't have to see himself like this, and the only good thing she could think of just then.
Scarlet moved the mask away from her face. She leaned down, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips to his. He smelled like chemicals, mostly Mako. That was distracting, because Rufus ShinRa had smelled clean like expensive soap, and underneath like power and youth and gil. She put her hand to the side of his face. It was smooth, young man skin, like his had been on the times she had kissed him on the cheek after various ShinRa functions.
She started to cry again, so she pulled away from him. Rufus didn't like hysterics.
Some people liked to think of her as an opportunist (at best, she reckoned,) but she thought of herself as an optimist. She had, in a way, done what she'd wanted to do: she'd said goodbye to Rufus, and given him his dignity. She would absolutely look at it that way, and if she dreamed of this, she would make certain that they were good dreams, in which Rufus would be happy for what she had done.
Scarlet took a survival knife off her belt (she had learned a few things from Tseng before she had started poisoning him,) and cut a lock of the clone's hair. It was only fair that she should keep some of his DNA. When she thought of it that way, she realized that no one else should ever be allowed to take it again. And aside from that, Rufus would hate to be found looking like this. Scarlet knew she had to act quickly to do this last thing. The road was deserted, but one never knew who or what was around the corner.
She backed away from the clone, closed her eyes, and cast her strongest Fire on him.
As the body went quickly into flames, she chose to think of it as a fitting goodbye.
Her eyes were dry and her back was straight as she turned away from him. She pulled the mask back over her nose and mouth as quickly as she could. Then she ripped a string from the bottom of her shirt and tied the lock of hair in it. She pocketed it gently. Now she could move on, and now she could get back to strengthening the new ShinRa. She would carry on his work better than any blubbering, sappy widow might have done.
Scarlet was eager to get to Sector Six now (and eager to get away from the burning mass of DNA and Mako,) but it seemed that she had one more job to finish before she could. God, but this morning seemed endless.
She heard him before she saw him, and there was no mistaking what he had said: "It's mob-rule over there, Reeve."
Reeve! By Shiva, someone was talking to Reeve!
Excitement trilling through her, Scarlet quietly followed the voice. It was coming from the alley next to the arcade.
"Sector Five is almost completely evacuated. Most of the arcade was spared and there were survivors...yes, quite a few. One of them was on the news, saying he'd seen you here... Yes, that was the boy..."
She walked around the side of the building. She wasn't trying to be quiet, but her footfalls were soft anyway. She felt bold, strong, and in control of the situation. She was a little surprised when she saw him. He was slight, with dark hair and businessman look about him. What was shocking, however, was that his face was covered in bloody scratches. Even more shocking, he seemed to be making them worse by slowly pulling the fingernails of his free hand down the side of his face as he spoke on the PHS. He did this distractedly, as if it was the most natural action in the world to him.
"Well, we are going to need help, Reeve, and people are wondering..."
He must have felt her eyes on him, because he finally turned to see Scarlet standing in the alley with him. She aimed the gun.
"Oh, Reeve, oh, shi-..."
She pulled the trigger. She had aimed for his foot, and gotten his thigh instead. He screamed and fell, and the PHS flew out of his hand. As he lay screaming and holding his thigh, Scarlet walked casually over to the PHS and picked it up.
"Fletcher? Christ, what happened?" Reeve's tired, panicked voice came over the PHS.
Scarlet smiled. "Why don't you come to Midgar and find out, handsome?" she said over Fletcher's wailing in the background. Then she flipped the PHS shut. Scarlet allowed herself the luxury of wanting the last word, and she usually got it.
Avalanche and the Turks
Tifa was glad to see that she wasn't the only one who was staring at Reisei as if she had lost her mind. She looked to Cloud to try to gauge his reaction. Cloud might be fascinated with the old woman because Aerith was somewhere in there, and he might wallow in his guilt over having let her die the first time, but she doubted that this would skew his reason enough that he would put his living friends at risk because Reisei had suggested it.
But to her disappointment, she saw that Cloud had his "Let me think about this" look on. At once, she felt both despair and hope. She despaired because Cloud was about to base a decision on his emotions. She was hopeful because Jenova seemed dormant, and Cloud was allowed to have those emotions. She wanted to talk to him alone, so that they could reason this out together, without the others jumping in with their opinions. Without the Turks offering their oh-so-helpful input.
Even now, Elena was watching Cloud as if she wanted to say something. Elena looked at Cloud with a very strange mixture of hurt and fascination. Tifa had at first been certain that this had to do with Tseng, but all of Avalanche had left Tseng to his fate that day, not just Cloud. (No one had turned their backs on Tseng more than Aerith had, though, and Elena hadn't yet taken a good look at Reisei. Tifa wondered if, when she put it together, she would look at Reisei the way she looked at Cloud.) And yet Tseng was back in a locked up room on this floor, and Elena was here, doing what she must have thought was her duty. The more Tifa saw of Elenaher glances to the other Turks, the pragmatic assessments that Tifa could so clearly see behind her eyesthe more she thought that this wasn't about Tseng anymore. It might just be about Elena.
Tifa knew that the Turks wanted something out of this. Perhaps they hadn't been sent by Scarlet, and perhaps they hadn't come on their own to kill Cloud, but she also knew that they would let him die if they had the chance.
"No, Reisei."
It was Barret who had finally spoken up. All eyes turned to him.
"We can't go to NeoMidgar. What am I supposed to do with Marlene? I can't take her with, and I can't leave her alone here with all this going on. Uh uh. If you all are crazy enough to go, then good luck."
Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but Cait Sith's mog hopped into the room, Cait perched atop its head. "Yoohoo!" Cait said. "Did y'all forget about me? I can...REEEEEEEEVE!"
The mog lumbered over to where Reeve sat and tipped forward, allowing the robot cat to throw its tiny arms around one of Reeve's arms.
"Hullo, Cait," Reeve said dully. He had finally cleaned up and changed clothes, but he looked shocky, tired and confused. Tifa felt an unaccustomed sympathy for this double turncoat. She had to give him this: he had never wanted to hurt anyone, no matter what it had seemed like in the past, and he had sacrificed his freedom to fight alongside Avalanche. He was weird, though. In some ways, he was weirder than Cloud.
"All I'm sayin'," Cait Sith went on, still holding Reeve's arm, "is that I can stay behind and watch over Marlene, if y'all wanted to..."
"Catbot," Cid said, "you do realize that Sephiroth is out there, don't you?" He had been leaning against the wall behind the Turks, effectively blocking their exit.
"Sephiroth would come with us," Reisei said.
Tifa had to admit that she hadn't even gotten as far as deciding what to do about Sephiroth when this came up. She had been so stunned by Reisei's suggestion that they go to NeoMidgar that she hadn't logically considered him in the equation. It was all too much to think about.
And now Cloud was looking at Tifa as if to ask her what she thought. He looked to her for answers sometimes, and it always seemed to be when she was fresh out of them.
Questions, thoughof those, she had plenty. "Why NeoMidgar, Rei?" she asked. It was the one question no one else seemed to have thought of. All eyes turned back to Reisei.
"To help Cloud," she said.
Tifa was so used to this answer from Reisei that she could almost have said it along with her, and yet, thus far, nothing she had suggested had actually helped Cloud. "How?" Tifa asked. "How will going back to NeoMidgar with Sephiroth help Cloud? I'm not good with riddles."
"It's not a riddle," Reisei said. She twirled her hair around her finger nervously, the way Aerith used to. "It's just that I can't say it with everyone here."
"Why not?" Elena said. "We're kind of in this, too, you know? If you know something that will keep us all alive, maybe you should share it."
Cloud sighed and dropped his head into his hands tiredly. Tifa felt a moment of familiar dread, as this action was so often followed by Cloud looking up with Mako-bright eyes as he fought Jenova for his body. She felt relief to her core when he looked up and was still himself.
"Look," Cloud said, "you're right. It's not fair to keep anything from you. You came here to warn us."
"We came here for help," Elena said. "As long as we're putting cards on the table, here. Might as well be totally honest. Warning you about Sephiroth was like a side project."
Cloud looked at her, his eyebrows raised. "Thank you," he said.
And suddenly Tifa knew that he was going to tell them. He looked at her for the okay to go on, and, although the last thing Tifa wanted was for the Turks to know this, she knew he was going to tell them anyway. Damn him, he always did this to her. He always asked her to say "yes" when she most wanted to say "no." And, even if he'd made some terrifically bad judgments, Cloud was an adult and could take care of himself. She knew that she couldn't tell him what to do, even if he didn't know it.
But she still couldn't say yes. Instead, she looked away.
"The only thing you guys don't know," Cloud said, "is that I still have Jenova cells." He sat back and waited for their reaction. At first the Turks didn't say anything at all, and Tifa figured that they were too shocked to react.
"No shit," Reno said. "Everyone knows that. Hojo jacked you full of everything he could get his hands on; once he injected you with snake venom to see if you would live. You had so much random shit in you, probably if he cut you open, clowns would come out. It's all in your files, man."
Cloud visibly flinched at Reno's words, and decided immediately to shift the focus from them. "You read my files?" he said.
"Duh," Reno said. "We wanted to know what we were up against. The only thing we never figured out about you is your goddamn hair. So what's your point? No pun intended."
Cloud couldn't seem to answer at first. He smiled vaguely and rubbed his forehead. "You're such a dick," he muttered.
Cid and Reno both laughed quietly. Rude looked slightly amused. Tifa took note of these reactions, and the ease with which Cloud had told them his problem. What was more worrying was the fact that he had rubbed his forehead again. That usually meant that Jenova was lurking around in his head. It was probably because he had said her name.
"You're not totally understanding me," Cloud said. "What I mean is, the cells are not dormant. They're not...I can't control them. They're kind of sentient, if you know what I mean."
Elena leaned forward in her chair. Tifa resisted the urge to sit next to Cloud; she didn't want to seem to be coddling him.
"So what does that mean?" Elena asked.
"Well," Cloud said, "Sephiroth had them in his first...when he was alive back then... He doesn't anymore, but that's not the point. Jenova is what gave him his power and his...his motivation." He waited for their reaction. He looked very pale, and Tifa wished that he hadn't decided to put himself through this. Reisei was watching him carefully, with her strange brand of sympathy.
"So what are you saying," Reno asked, only half joking, "that you're the next Sephiroth?"
Cloud flinched again. "There's only one other person I know who has them."
"Vincent Valentine," Reno said, "but it's not exactly true that you two are the only ones. There are others with Jenova cells, clones, Soldiers..."
"Soldiers who are dead now, or at least the majority of them are," Cloud said. "Didn't it ever occur to you that SOLDIER is no more, that the new ShinRa doesn't have an army? And the others? Clones, monsters, things without will or without sentience, or strength or whatever. They're missing some important ingredient that I apparently have. The only other person who has the ingredients is Vincent Valentine, and wherever he is right now, I'm sure he's going through something awful with her. Jenova wants one thing from us, she wants...she wants..."
Cloud's hand went to his forehead again. Tifa let her finger slide over the Sleep materia orb in the bangle on her wrist, and prayed to the Planet that Cloud wouldn't have to fight Jenova off in this room full of people, some of whom weren't friends. She was fairly certain that no one else knew what was going on. To anyone else, it probably looked like he had a headache, or just didn't want to talk about it. She watched him, ready for anything, as he fought Jenova's silent urges.
Finally, Cloud took a breath, swept his hair back, and let his hand drop into his lap. "She wants a reunion," he said in a low voice.
"Then why, exactly, are we getting you and Vincent together?" Cid asked.
Tifa thought that was a damn fine question.
"And why in NeoMidgar?" Barret added.
"I can try to answer the first question," Cloud said. "To try to fight her once and for all. I have no idea how, but that's the idea. As for the second question...Reisei?" He turned to her. "Since you suggested it? I know you said it was to help me, but how? Now that everyone knows what my problem is... well, one of my problems," he added with a slight half-smile, "we might as well talk about it."
"Because of the Lifestream, Cloud. Because it's the only way I can help you. Because I can't see the future, but I can see that you might die, and in NeoMidgar you might not. I can't tell you the whole thing now."
Tifa felt her heart seize up when Reisei said that Cloud might die.
"It's one thing I can't tell you in front of everyone," Reisei said. "You would have to make a decision, and you're the only one who can make it, so I can't say it in a room full of people. Is that okay?"
Cloud was at a loss. "It has to be, I guess, if you can't tell me now, but... I also can't make this decision for everyone else, if you know what I mean."
Reeve finally spoke up. "I'm for going back to NeoMidgar," he said, "but I have my own reasons for that, so maybe I'm not the best one to be giving my input, either. I just want to say that up front so you all know where I stand. But my question is this: here, or NeoMidgar, what's the difference where we fight her? If that's what we're planning on doing, I mean. NeoMidgar is already in ruins..."
"'Cause what are we supposed to do, get Vincent maybe Yuffie and then all go there together?" Cid asked, at the same time that Reisei said, "Cloud and Vincent have to be separated until..." and Tifa said, "With Sephiroth along for the ride, no less." Over the three of them, Barret said, "And none of this helps me figure out what how to keep Marlene safe."
All at once, everyone was talking over everyone else. Reno said something about not being sure that Tseng could travel, and Elena said that was the least of their problems. Nanaki put in that no one had told Yuffie about any of this yet, and Cloud asked everyone to be quiet for a moment.
In the midst of all of this, someone's PHS rang, and everyone began fishing around in their pockets or bags to answer theirs. It ended up being Reeve's PHS, and he held up his hand in a request for quiet.
"Fletcher," he said. "Fletcher, thank god. How is everything over there? ...Uh huh. Good, complete the evacuation... Thank heaven for that. What about the survivors? ...Really? No shit! Was he a young kid? With long, brown hair and freckles?" Reeve suddenly looked overcome with relief. He smiled, and his eyes were wet. "Oh, that's...that's great, Fletcher. I saw that kid, talked to him... I'mI'm all right, I'm just glad, you know... Yes, I'm trying to get back there; I have something going on here, Fletcher, it has to do with preventing more damage, and I can't quite..."
Suddenly, Tifa, and everyone else in the room, heard what sounded like a gunshot over the PHS, and immediately after, the unmistakable sound of a man screaming.
Reeve almost dropped the PHS. "Jesus, Fletcher, are you still... Fletcher are you still on the line?" He looked up at the others, frantically, and then at Cloud. "SomethingOh, shit, Fletcher? Christ, what happened?" He pressed the PHS to his ear and stopped talking. At first he looked confused, then his jaw dropped, and the color drained from his face.
"Scarlet?" he whispered into the phone. He waited a moment, and then softly clicked the PHS shut again. He looked back to Cloud.
"I think Scarlet killed my secretary," he whispered. "She's in NeoMidgar, and she wants me to come back."
Tifa knew that this would probably seal the deal, at least for some of the people present. It all seemed to be happening in NeoMidgar, anyway, and as Reeve had pointed out...
"...It doesn't make a difference where we end up," Tifa said. "One way or another, Jenova's going to make herself known to us. If Cloud thinks it's right, and if Reisei thinks it will help..."
Barret turned away and flexed the fingers of his remaining hand, cracking the knuckles in frustration.
"I can help," Cait Sith said. He was still pressed up against Reeve's leg. "I can help Marlene, she's a big girl..."
"I don't like leavin' her alone with all this going on," Barret said.
"If it goes on here, in Cosmo Canyon," Cloud said, "then everyone in Cosmo Canyon will be at risk, including Marlene. If it goes on in NeoMidgar, which is being evacuated...and we take Sephiroth with us?"
Barret nodded, still with his back to everyone.
"I wouldn't mind seeing what Scarlet's up to," Elena said. "We can leave Tseng here..."
"Tseng will be fine coming along with you."
Tifa looked up to see Tseng standing in doorway from the hall. He looked steady, clean, and much stronger than he had earlier. It occurred to Tifa that he had Sephiroth to thank for that, and she tried to block out of her mind the image of Sephiroth casting Aerith's limit break. In a perfect world, the Great Gospel would have gone to Reisei. Or rather, in a perfect world, Reisei wouldn't even be here.
Reisei, Tifa noticed, was staring at Tseng. To anyone else she might have looked vacant, but Tifa knew her of old. Reisei was remembering. So far, Tseng hadn't even looked at her. Tifa wondered what would happen when he did. But thoughts like that were for later on. Right now there were more pressing matters.
"My guards?" Tifa said to Tseng. Damn him, she had posted guards outside of his room. He had such nerve walking around as if he was welcome anywhere in her inn.
"They were suddenly tired," Tseng said.
Elena turned to face him. "How much do you know about this mission, Tseng, sir?" She said "Tseng, sir" as if it were one word. To Elena, Tifa supposed, it might have been.
Tseng smiled very slightly. "The guards became tired about a half an hour ago. I know as much as you've all told each other since you met in this room." He looked fondly and perhaps proudly at Elena for a moment, and then he turned his attention to Cloud. "I know a bit about the way Hojo worked with Jenova. Perhaps I can help you, too."
Cloud looked at Tseng, nervous, but resolute. "Thank you," he said again, to Tifa's further irritation. He thanked people a lot, when they should have been thanking him.
"How the hell are we going to manage all this with only one aircraft?" Cid asked.
"Um..." Reeve shook himself free of his shock and cleared his throat. "Two aircrafts. I came in on the Tempest. So, uhh, you could go and get Vincent and Yuffie in the Highwind, and we can take the Tempest and meet you in NeoMidgar."
"With one pilot!" Cid said. He was impatient and agitated. Tifa was, too, and she was thankful that Cid was asking all the questions that she wanted to ask.
"Uh, no," Reeve said quietly. "There is one other person who can pilot an aircraft." He looked at Cloud levelly. "He piloted it here already."
Cid's mouth fell open, and, if Tifa had let him smoke inside the Shildra, she was sure that he would have just dropped his cigarette. "Sephiroth flew you here?"
Reeve shrugged. "He's a good pilot."
The idea of it was too much for Tifa. She was willing to go to NeoMidgar, but she thought she would have to draw the line at letting Sephiroth take them all there.
"If I might interrupt, I'm a good pilot, too," Tseng offered. "If I flyand I assure you that I can and am well enough tothen Cloud can keep an eye on Sephiroth."
Cloud raised his head and looked at Tseng, slightly surprised. "Why me?" he asked.
"Because you beat him once," Tseng said. "And, Jenova cells or no, I'm sure that you could again, if the need should arise."
Cloud thought about this, then nodded. Tifa suspected that Cloud wasn't as worried about Sephiroth as (himself) he should have been. She could remember a cold, paranoid, angry Cloud, hiding his passion or turning it into violent rage. Over the years he had lost his dramatic coldness and violent paranoia and had become just distant and cautious, but yet here he was, ready to trust Sephiroth, and she couldn't imagine why.
"Then, there's only one thing for us to do," Cloud said. He looked around the room, took a head-count, and mental notes on everyone there. "Let's split into teams."
It was difficult to shave with only the barest glances into the mirror, but Cloud had managed it again. The Bitch had been quiet all morning, but it would be so disconcerting to look up into the mirror and see her in his eyes again. She never even gave him the decency of a warning.
He had taken another shower, almost guiltily, because he knew it was weird, and a quirk; another sign of his neurosis. He knew he had these fixations when things were going badly, and he knew that the obsessive cleaning had to do with one thing: Hojo. He had spent years trying to wash Hojo's hands off him, and Hojo's chemicals out of his system. He vaguely remembered the imprisonment, the sickness, being restrained and cut open and seeing Zack murdered, but those things were distant and he saw them as if through a veil. He hadn't even remembered them until he'd fallen into the Lifestream in Mideel, and it felt as if all of that had happened to someone else.
Reno had reminded him again of the main things: Hojo's hands on him. Hojo's eyes on him. Hojo's voice.
Years ago, he had heard other Soldiers talking about post traumatic stress disorder. Cloud had found the words "traumatic" and "stress" trite and insignificant. "Disorder" was flimsy and vague. The only word in that phrase that really worked for him was "post." He and his friends had faced down Sephiroth in his final form, and Cloud was certain: in terms of skin-crawling horror, Sephiroth had been nothing compared to Hojo. Sephiroth had only been the instrument.
As you will be, a small voice in the back of his mind said. Cloud winced. The voice hadn't been Jenova's; it had been his.
"You all right, Cloud?" Tifa said through the door. She must have come into his room while he was in the shower. Cloud didn't mind this time. He only locked the doors against Tifa when The Bitch was around.
"Uhh, yeah, just..." Cloud looked around the bathroom. He'd forgotten to bring his clothes in with him. "Could you hand me my clothes?" he asked, and opened the door a crack.
"Sure, just a sec."
He heard Tifa walk over to the desk by the bed, where he had carelessly thrown his pants. "These?" she asked. She sounded slightly confused.
"Yeah, anything," he said.
She handed him his pants, and he began to hurriedly put them on. Standing up, he noticed that they were his oldest pair: the ripped, beaten, baggy pants that he had worn so often through his Avalanche days. "Oh," he said, in quiet surprise. He hadn't even realized he'd gotten them out of the depths of his closet. He had washed these many times, too, but the blood stains had never fully come out. Aerith's blood was still on them. He stripped them off quickly.
"Can you get something else out of the"
Before he could finish his request, Tifa's hand appeared through the opened door, holding a different pair of pants.
"Thanks," Cloud muttered. Christ, everyone was in his head sometimes. "Party in Cloud's head," he said under his breath, "Mako will be provided."
He'd just finished putting his pants on when Tifa knocked softly and asked if she could come in.
"Uh huh," Cloud said, distracted as he looked around the room for anything he might want to bring with him. He wanted to bring something he thought he would need, because bringing these small things implied that he would need them. It would mean that he would still be shaving and washing and dressing, and other things that people did when they weren't ready to give up.
Tifa closed the door behind her and leaned against it. Cloud suddenly remembered that the last time she'd been in the bathroom with him, he had - no, Jenova - had hated her for it.
"Cloud..."
He turned to her quickly, too quickly, perhaps, because she started back. He sometimes forgot his own speed and strength. But he had stopped her from saying whatever she was going to say, and that was all right, because he didn't want to talk about anything that might happen.
"It's okay, Teef," he said, hoping that his eyes were telling her the same thing. "This is good, I think. I think we can win."
She smiled at him. Cloud wondered if he was cruel to have told her that, because he knew the effect his confidence, however false, had on her.
"I mean, I'm nervous, but I think we have a chance. You know... You know she doesn't want me. She wants the Planet. This is about saving the Planet. I can handle that."
I can handle fighting for the Planet, he added mentally, I can't handle her using me to destroy it.
Tifa's smile widened. "I know you can," she said.
"Not alone, though. I mean, we all saved it last time, Aerith most of all. If it had been just me, the Planet would have been soup. I just mean..."
"You mean that it's okay if you think of it in terms of keeping the Planet from destruction, and not keeping yourself from destruction."
Cloud blinked. "Something like that," he said, although he really wasn't thinking about it.
Without giving any indication of what she was about to do, Tifa put her hand on his arm. Cloud tensed, expecting the burn of Jenova's jealousy, or pain of her rage, or the numbness she liked to tease him with, but again, Jenova was somewhere else. Her cells slept in him. All he felt was Tifa's calloused fingers. She was warm, and the contrast to the air made him shiver.
She slid her hand up to his neck, and it was exquisite. It had been so long...
"Can you feel that?" Tifa whispered. "Is it... is she...?"
"Shh, don't say her name, don't call her back," Cloud said quickly. He took Tifa's other hand and put it on his chest, and decided to let The Bitch sleep, plan, plan to kill him, plan to dissolve the Planet and suck any leftover particles of energy into herself if she wanted to, as long as he could have a few moments, just a few moments more.
He had closed his eyes, and was surprised to feel Tifa's lips on his. He gasped awkwardly, swayed, and suddenly Tifa was pressed up against him, with her cheek to his and her bare arms on his back, and it was so sweet that Cloud was delirious with it.
"I haven't held you in so long," Tifa whispered. "Is it strange? Does anything hurt?"
"No," Cloud said in a strained whisper. "I think I just forgot what it was like."
"Mm hmm," she said into his neck, and the vibration of her voice close to his skin made him tingle all over. "It's not healthy, Cloud. Extended terms of sensory deprivation are so unhealthy. Over-sensitizes you to stimuli."
Cloud released the breath he'd been holding in a soft laugh, and accessed logical speech somewhere in his brain. "I love it when you talk dirty," he managed through a haze of pleasure.
She giggled. Cloud felt her laughter to the base of his spine.
There was a knock at the door, and Tifa, likely having no idea of the depths to which Cloud was experiencing this, pulled away from him quickly. Her arm was still around his back. Cloud clenched his teeth, held his breath, and waited for her to move to open the bathroom door. When she didhastily wiping her eyesCloud was prepared for the emptiness.
Tifa stepped out of the bathroom and into Cloud's room. Cloud followed her out, and went to his closet for a shirt.
"Who is it?" Tifa asked.
"It's me," Reisei said from behind the door. "I need to talk to Cloud now."
"Oh," Tifa said. Cloud heard the disappointment in her voice. There was fear in there, too. She looked at Cloud to see if she should open the door. He pulled his shirt on and nodded. "Yeah, hang on," she said to Reisei.
She unlatched the door, and Reisei stepped in.
"It's time for us to talk," she said to Cloud. "And I have to ask you questions, and ask you to make some decisions. They're important, and you should make them while you still can."
Cloud looked at Tifa. The words "while you still can" didn't bode well, and they both knew it. Although Cloud didn't know what Reisei was going to ask him, he could feel the weight of what she had said, and he believed her.
"I'll wait for you downstairs," Tifa said softly.
Cloud knew how much it cost her to leave without knowing what was going on. "I'll be down soon," he said.
Tifa wanted to say more to him, but opted to get it all over with. With a nod to Reisei, she left the room and closed the door behind her.
Reisei smiled brightly. "Well!" she said. "Here we are, Cloud."
"Yes," Cloud said. He sat on the bed, and invited Reisei to sit beside him. She walked to him in her strange, difficult to watch style. A young girl's sashay, bent crooked with age.
"Cloud?" she said, as she turned to face him. Her eyes were shining with Mako, brimming with tears, but she was still smiling. "Cloud, would you rather live, or die? And be honest."
Cloud blinked and leaned back. He certainly hadn't expected that question.
"I'd rather live," he said. What else did she expect him to say?
"It's easy to say that now," she said. "You don't have the choice right in front of you. But if you make the decision nowright here, right now, and promise you'll follow through no matter whatit will make it easier for everyone." She took his hand, kissed the back of it, and pressed his palm to her face. "Personally, I think you should live," she said. "But I know that the decision is yours. So when the time comes to live or to die, what will you do?"
"I'll...I'll live, Reisei. But I don't understand. Why are you...?"
"Cloud," she said, even more softly. She leaned so far forward that they were almost nose to nose. Her eyes were quite bright; in fact they seemed brighter than they had even before. "Are you going to live, or die?"
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her, again, that of course he would rather live, and if the decision was his...barring any unforeseen circumstances, such as saving someone else, like Tifa for instance...
But Reisei's green eyes swam in his vision, and there was a sound...like voices he recognized, but had never heard.
"Are you going to live, or die?"
Live, he thought. But...
...but...
...but the voices sounded so warm, like coming home...
"Cloud, are you going to live, stay here on the Planet, with your friends? With Cid, and Nanaki, and Barret, and Tifa? Or are you going to die? The decision is yours."
Cloud blinked, and finally pulled away from Reisei. There was a fading hum in his head, and he squeezed his eyes shut to clear it. "Of course I want to live, Reisei," he said. "What...why are you asking me this?"
The old woman leaned away from him, her expression perfectly unreadable.
"Reisei?"
"Just remember what you said."
"I...Okay, I will."
She smiled vaguely. "There's one more thing, Cloud. I don't think you're going to like it."
"What else is new?"
"It's just that you're going to have to do something that's not really in your nature."
"Yeah?" Cloud asked. "What's that, follow instructions?" He laughed half-heartedly.
Reisei raised her white eyebrows. "Kind of," she said. "More to the point, you're going to have to surrender. You're going to have to let yourself die."
