Chapter 32: Burdens of a Hero
Squall looked - and felt - as if he could have been knocked over by a slight breeze as he stood there in shock, watching Zell help Quistis climb out of the hole in the side of the Iron Clad. Selphie seemed to explode out of the hole immediately afterward, and Irvine followed, tossing his hat out first and scooping the headgear up when he landed on his feet.
"Squall!" Selphie cried, and then bolted across the plaza, glomping him where he stood. The others' responses were slightly more sedate, but they too were overjoyed to have encountered one another again so suddenly. It took Squall along moment to wade through the sea of voices and questions, and a recurring theme was inquiries about the safety of Garden.
"Garden is safe," he managed to finally reply, to cheers from Selphie and Zell. "In fact, its better than safe. Its right over there." He pointed to the north, and was met by confused looks. After a moment he shook his head.
"Long story," he explained. "I'll tell it to you later. Right now, though, I'm just glad to see you're all safe." His words were quite sincere, and he was surprised by confused looks from Zell and Irvine, as well as a furtive smile from Quistis and a much more obvious one from Selphie.
"What?" he asked after a moment, but any response was cut off as another pair, this one consisting of Xu and Rinoa, entered the plaza, and an equally enthusiastic reunion followed. Squall backed away for a moment while Selphie assailed Rinoa with questions and another glomping hug, and she returned the questions right back to the group. He watched it all, feeling surprisingly happy to see his comrades reunited, and a powerful wave of relief now that they were safe. More than once he managed to catch Rinoa's eye, and she, too, shared that furtive smile that Quistis had developed, and even whispered something to the blonde SeeD, making both of them laugh faintly.
Squall let them continue to talk, and broke away from the group when he spotted Mayor Dobe crouching near the plaza, looking upon the damaged stones of the city center and the equally damaged train hub. Overall, not much damage had been inflicted upon his city, but he seemed quite . . . resentful.
"I'm sorry," Squall explained to the mayor as he neared the man. "I had no choice but to draw my weapon."
"I know," Dobe replied, his tone filled with remorse. He did not meet Squall's eyes. "I wish that this hadn't had to happen. But do not think that I'm condoning what you've done. Blood has been spilled in my city, but without your aid, we would all have been dead or homeless."
"I regret having to do it," Squall replied. "I never enjoy the killing."
"That is one thing we have in common," Dobe answered. "Perhaps you're a stronger man for being able to face what you hate. But still, it violates our ethos and our way of life. We live because you fight, yet now we live because of something we hate having passed."
"All I know is war," Squall stated with a shrug. "I can't live in your world of peace, but what you've built here, your beliefs and ideals are an incredible thing. No other city has been built in this world without war. Even Balamb has had to fight for its independence, a long time ago. Your city is unique, and I wish that your ideals would spread elsewhere." He paused for a long moment, before finishing up.
"I hope the world can accept your ideals," he stated. "But until it is, I'll be here to fight those that would take from those who cannot defend themselves." Squall offered the man a salute, but Dobe did not reply, merely staring out over the ocean and his plaza, lost in thought.
Squall turned away, to still see the group of his comrades talking excitedly, Selphie waving her hands as if indicating motions. He watched them for a long while, before he realized that he was, to a slight degree, smiling. This immediately killed his expression as he realized what had so amused the others.
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It was an hour later, and Squall, Xu, and Selphie had finished giving their reports to Headmaster Cid. What was most interesting was Selphie's escape. Having noted how incredibly durable the Galbadian war machine known as Iron Clad had been during their battle, she had opted to have her team take cover inside the vehicle to escape the explosion. Her judgment had been correct, as the weapon had indeed survived the detonation of the missile base, but in the blast the hatch had been sealed shut. A Galbadian survey team had arrived at the base within the next few hours, and had externally tapped into the vehicle and remotely moved it aboard a train and across the continent. Apparently, no one had bothered trying to open the hatch or otherwise get into the vehicle to assess the electronics, and the damaged but functional war machine had been loaded aboard a transport and assigned to a squadron being sent to find someone named Ellone. The team had managed to override the remote control but had kept their command of the machine a secret up until they saw the battle between squall and the Galbadian military. The rest was history.
Selphie's information, combined with Squall's testimony from both the conversation between Dobe and the Galbadian officer and his interrogation of the surviving Galbadian soldier, Cid concluded that the Galbadian military was hot on Ellone's trail. Trent had been right all along.
Cid had then given Squall and Selphie strict orders: rest. Both had done a lot of work and sincerely deserved a break, Selphie most of all. She didn't admit it, but all the stress had really gotten to her. In fact, the moment she had finished her report, she had returned to her dorm and had virtually collapsed into a deep sleep. Squall couldn't help but agree with her, and had been on the way back to his own room when he encountered Rinoa. He sighed tiredly as he saw she was standing between him and his door.
"I'm glad you're safe," she commented. "And everyone else is too. I was worried about them for a while."
"Me too," he replied with a nod.
"You surprised me out there," she added, leaning against the wall slightly, arcing her head to the side a bit, as if looking at Squall from a new angle. "You sounded so happy to see them. It was the first time I saw you so . . . honest. I thought it was sweet."
"Sweet?" he echoed, and she giggled slightly.
"They were my responsibility," he replied defensively. "I was worried about them, that's all."
"Is that it?" she asked, surprising Squall. What did she want from him?
"Be honest," she pressed. "Just like you were in the plaza." He considered that for a long moment, and remembered the honest feelings he'd had when Selphie and her team had been returned to him.
"I was happy to see them," he admitted. "Is there something wrong with that?"
"No, no!" she replied, smiling. "They're your comrades, but even more importantly, they're your friends."
That rocked Squall for a moment. He'd never called any of them friends. He didn't admit he could feel that way towards anyone, but the fact that he had worried about them . . . Did he consider them friends?
"Tell me, Squall," she continued. "Would you have been as worried about me if I was with them?"
She kept surprising him, and Squall found himself off-balance again. He considered her question, and the way it was phrased, curious, but at the same time colored with a bit more, some other emotion he couldn't exactly place. What was she getting at with this line of questions?
Rinoa reached up and covered her mouth with one hand, shaking with laughter.
"Your face is turning red!" she muttered. "Did I embarrass you?"
Squall was suddenly aware of the heat flushing his face, and that warmth only grew as she continued.
"Okay, I'm sorry," she said after a moment, finally suppressing her laughter. "I'll see you later, okay?" Squall managed to nod before she turned away and left, but before Rinoa passed out of view, she did glance back and throw him a wink that enflamed his face again. After a long moment, Squall managed to calm down, and shook his head, before stepping toward his door.
"Not bad," came a voice behind him, making Squall jump. He spun, to see Irvine standing behind him, leaning against the wall. He tipped back his cowboy hat, and looked down the hall to where Rinoa had disappeared.
"You know, I think she's sweet on you," the sharpshooter commented. Squall frowned and looked back to where she had gone. He didn't deny it. Rinoa did seem to be edging toward him, but why he wasn't sure. He hadn't done much to engender such feelings.
Except to save her life, he reminded himself after a second. He looked back to Irvine, who was smiling faintly, apparently having understood what he was thinking about. Dammit, did everyone seem to know what he was thinking?
"Anyway, didn't come down here to give you commentary on your love life, or whatever passes for it," Irvine continued. "Just asking for a favor."
"What?" Squall asked.
"Well," the cowboy said, straightening his hat. "Selphie had been working on building a stage for the Garden Festival, but with the takeoff and crash it seemed that all her hard work was smashed to pieces in the confusion. Its probably gonna break her heart if she finds out. I was wondering if I could get some of the FH engineers to do a little repair work? It would mean a lot to her."
"Why ask me?" Squall asked, and Irvine shrugged.
"Cid told me to," he replied. "Not sure why he's delegating authority to you, but he said 'See if Squall has any problems with it'."
"Why me?" Squall repeated, but then shook his head. "Forget about it. As long as it doesn't interfere with the repair work, I'm fine with it."
"Thanks!" Irvine said with a wide grin. "I'll get on it!" He then spun quickly and strode off, a bounce in his step. Squall watched him leave, and then shook his head. His comrades - no, friends - were getting weirder and weirder.
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Squall awoke the next morning, somewhat refreshed. He showered, dressed, ate a quick breakfast, and was in the middle of performing routine maintenance on his gunblade when someone knocked on his door. He opened it to see Xu standing outside. She nodded to him, offering him a slight smile.
"The Headmaster wants to speak with you in a couple of hours about the plan of the day,' she told him, and he nodded, though not without a confused frown.
"Why me?" he asked, confused and thinking about Irvine asking for permission to use the engineers' help yesterday.
"He didn't say," Xu replied. "But he wanted to check with you about it before he made an important announcement."
"Alright," he said with a sigh. "I'll be up in his office in a couple of hours."
Squall finished his gunblade maintenance and spent the next hour afterwards doing calisthenics in his room, working his muscles with push-ups, sit-ups, leg-lifts, and bodybuilders, before heading up to meet with the Headmaster for whatever reason he needed.
Cid was standing atop the platform in his office, and Squall was surprised to see the old, rusted control panel was replaced by a huge, fin-shaped lever set into a large hollow. Beside this lever was a series of holographic protestations, showing various feeds and information about Garden, particularly navigational data and terrain. It even included a sonar image.
"Ah, Squall, good to see you," Cid commented as he looked over the equipment. "The engineers handled this remarkably quickly. We've already completed the steering mechanism, and its only a couple of days before they have everything in order to sail us out of their city." The older man was practically beaming.
"You wanted to go over the plan of the day with me, sir?" Squall asked, and Cid nodded, his smile widening.
"Once we are underway, we will be seeking to stop this war before it begins," Cid explained. "The Sorc . . . Edea had ordered her men to destroy FH regardless of whether Ellone was there or not. What does that say?"
"They wanted to deny her a place to hide," Squall replied, understanding the simplicity of the tactic.
"I fear that she has already done this elsewhere," Cid stated with a grave nod. "Its clear that, for whatever reason she is seeking Ellone, she will burn everything in her path. We cannot allow that." Squall nodded.
"However," Cid continued, "Garden has been weakened lately, with the death of NORG and a significant number of our SeeDs deployed. I intend to begin picking them back up, and have started sending codes messages out through Fisherman's Horizon to the scattered cells to return to Garden if able. In the meantime, we will be seeking out a means to stop Edea."
"That sounds good," Squall replied with another nod.
"However, there is the possibility that we may become involved in a battle before we are ready to engage her," Cid continued. "And even after we have replenished our ranks we'll still need someone to command the troops."
"Xu should be able to handle that," Squall stated, and Cid nodded after a moment.
"Xu could, but she has other skills that could be more useful, particularly with acquisitions and training the cadets," Cid continued. "We need someone who is experienced in tactics and who has a flawless record in battle. And even moreso, someone who has the respect of Garden's population. A strong commander, a respected and loved commander, can have a critical effect on his men. And who has had firsthand experience fighting Edea."
"I don't think we have anyone who fits that description," Squall replied, but he noticed the way Cid was looking at him in particular. The older man strode across the platform and put a hand on Squall's shoulder.
"We do," Cid replied. "Squall, I want you to take command of Balamb Garden's military forces."
"Me?" he asked, shocked. He was setting a record for how many surprises he was being hit by in such a short period of time. Cid wanted to place that level of trust in him? Squall would have wanted to sit down, but the platform lacked any real furniture to support his weight.
"Yes, you," Cid replied. "You may not realize this, but you do have what it takes to lead Garden into the future. Your leadership skills are magnificent, and nearly everyone in Garden looks up to you, whether you'd admit it or not. Even the elder SeeDs admit you are one of the best we have. Its your destiny to lead Garden in this war."
"No!" Squall snapped suddenly, shaking his head. "Don't talk about this like its been decided since my birth!" He calmed slightly. After a couple of moments, he continued.
"But, Headmaster, if that is what you want," he stated through clenched teeth. "If that is your order, I will accept this position."
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Headmaster Cid made the announcement within a couple of hours. Garden, he had stated, was going through with its mission to defeat Edea. Regular administration would be handled by the staff and the Headmaster as usual, but when it came to tactical and strategic situations Squall would have command of the Garden. He added that any SeeDs or cadets that did not wish to participate in the coming war could leave at Fisherman's Horizon.
No one left.
Squall heard the announcement from within his dorm room, and spent the next hour or so considering his future as he lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
It was easy enough: just command Garden in battle. He would decide their destination and objectives, where they went and how they conducted battle. He didn't mind having to fight her; it was inevitable as long as he served in SeeD. But what if his decisions were wrong? What if he made a mistake? He didn't want anyone to die unnecessarily.
But still . . . His responsibilities were unclear. Was he supposed to handle all the burdens of command? Or just in combat? Did he have to take care of all the cadets as well? There were so many aspects of war that did not consist only of battle . . . .
Somewhere in the middle of his musings, Squall found himself drifting off into an uncomfortable sleep.
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"Alrighty, everyone," Irvine stated, looking over the quintet standing around him. To their left, in front of the helipad behind Mayor Dobe's house, a small squadron of SeeD mechanics and Fisherman's Horizon engineers were hard at work finishing up the large stage that Selphie had designed back when she had first taken over as head of the Garden Festival Committee only a couple of weeks ago. It felt like years past.
Behind him was piled a set of instruments around a large grand piano. One could see three different types of guitars, as well as a few woodwind instruments, a violin, and a saxophone, as well as piles of sheet music in books scattered across the top.
"So, ya'll called us down here," Zell stated, looking around at Rinoa and Quistis, while Selphie sat back on the piano. "So what's the deal?"
"Simple," Selphie replied, positively beaming. "The Garden Festival is supposed to be later this year, but Irvine and I have decided we should go ahead and throw a concert tonight before we head off on our new mission."
"Not too bad of an idea," Rinoa replied. "But I'm guessing you two have something extra planned?"
"Oh, you guessed it," Irvine stated with a smile equaling Selphie's. "This is more than just a final party before we head off. This is also to celebrate Squall's new promotion, and hopefully to cheer him up."
"The promotion is definitely making him stressed out," Quistis agreed. "Maybe we can get him to loosen up tonight?"
"That'll require gene therapy," Zell quipped, eliciting a chuckle all around.
"Not quite," Selphie replied, bending over and scooping up the electric guitar. She palmed a pick and began strumming it quickly, playing off a rapid-fire series of notes. "They say music is the universal language, and I think even Squall might understand if we play for him."
"You want us to help you put together a band?" Quistis asked dubiously, and Irvine laughed.
"No, we won't need to!" Selphie stated. "We have our band right here!"
"Hold on a second," Quistis protested holding up her hands. "You can't be asking me to play. I have no talent whatsoever!"
"Nonsense," Irvine said with a grin as he picked up the saxophone. "I got just the song, easy to learn and easy to play. Not to mention its pretty romantic, and if you need any help, I'm sure Rinoa can back you up."
"Me?" Rinoa asked, and then her eyes widened. "You mean . . . my mother's song?"
"Bingo," Irvine replied. "I don't think anyone knows 'Eyes on Me' better than you, Rinoa. And it just so happens that three of our potential band members are already pretty good musicians." Irvine glanced to Zell, who shrugged. The sharpshooter bent over and hefted the heavy bass guitar and handed it to the brawler.
"Ain't played this thing in a while," he stated as he skillfully tuned the guitar. Not bothering with a pick, he plucked a few notes and nodded. Irvine tooted a few times on his sax before being satisfied.
"You can play saxophone?" Rinoa asked, and Irvine smiled, pulling his hat down low.
"Not very many women can resist a man who can make beautiful music," he replied, before putting the sax to his lips. He played out a short melody of low tones and notes, a short jazz piece.
"And Quisty just needs to play the piano to finish it up," Selphie added. Quistis' eyes widened, though whether from the suggestion she actually play or from the pet name that Selphie had saddled her with was unknown.
"Don't worry," Rinoa replied before Quistis could protest, and laid a hand on the blonde SeeD's shoulder. "I'll help you with it. I'm not that bad of a piano player myself." She glanced to Selphie.
"I don't need to guess that you have something extra planned for me, since this is partially for squall, right?"
"Smart girl," Irvine replied, bearing a grin that looked like it belonged on a shark.
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Squall dropped to a crouch, planting his hands on the floor. He kicked out behind him, his toes reaching out and touching the floor, dropping him into a push-up position. He snapped his legs out wide, held them for a second, and closed them up. Then he lowered himself to the floor and pushed back up. He repeated the push-up twice, then snapped his legs back underneath him and rose.
"Twenty-two," he muttered, then dropped back down to another crouch. He repeated the twelve-count bodybuilder exercise again, rising up to his twenty-third repetition, when someone knocked on the door. Squall rose from his crouch and glanced at the clock. Damn, it was already middle of the evening, after 2000 hours. He strode across the room and unlocked the door (no more interruptions for him he'd finally decided) Squall opened the door, then blinked once, and mentally checked to see if his mouth had fallen open.
Rinoa was standing outside his door, but rather than her blue coat and black tank top and shorts, she was clad in the pure, angelic white evening gown he had seen her don at the party when he had been named a SeeD. She looked positively gorgeous.
"What's the occasion?" he asked tiredly, wiping a bit of sweat off his brow as he looked her over.
"You know about the concert, right?" she asked, and Squall blinked again. No one had told him anything. But then again, he hadn't left his room since Cid's announcement that morning.
"Apparently not," he replied.
"Selphie and the others are throwing it," Rinoa explained. "A send-off before the new mission we're going on." Squall caught Rinoa's use of the word "we," which struck him as odd, somehow.
"I'm sorry," he replied after a moment, shaking his head. "Not in the mood."
"Why not?" she asked, pressing, She leaned against the doorframe as she asked him.
"I'd rather not talk about it," he said, but she was nodding before the third word.
"Quistis was right on," Rinoa murmured, smiling. "You're so predictable." Squall's eyes widened slightly, and he crossed his arms.
"Try me," he challenged.
"First off, she said you wouldn't be in the mood," Rinoa explained, and began to tick things off on her fingers. "Obviously, it's the Headmaster putting so much on you. But also, you're not the type to socialize and you don't really want to go outside because you still need to sort through your newfound responsibilities." She paused and then her smile widened. "And you still need to get to at least thirty repetitions."
Squall scowled, but it was either that or let out a tired laugh.
"I should never have let you two meet," he commented with a helpless shake of his head.
"Are you coming or not?" she asked. "We thought it would be good to help you unwind, and I wanted to talk to you about something."
"We?" he asked.
"Who else?" she replied. "Me, Selphie, Zell, Irvine, and Quistis, of course. Come on, please? For me at least?"
Squall sighed. She was so damn insistent, and he was so tired. Not physically, but mentally. But maybe . . . Maybe he was tired because he couldn't let himself lighten up. It might do him some good.
"If not, I'll keep bugging you and chanting 'concert, concert, concert' all night long until you give up and come," she added, and somehow, Squall honestly believed she'd be mean enough to do just that. He gave her a look that accused her of cruel and unusual punishment, and she laughed out loud.
"Its already working, I see."
"Fine," he finally said with a tired nod. "You win. Give me a moment to clean up."
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His normal jacket and pants combo weren't appropriate for this, not to mention he'd look terrible next to Rinoa in her dazzling gown. Instead, he rifled through his small wardrobe and picked out a uniform. Not the SeeD dress uniform; that was too formal. Rather, he picked out a well-cut jacket, designed for semi-formal occasions, and a pair of black slacks. He did take the dress shoes for his uniform, and put on a button-up white dress shirt underneath the outfit. He added his gloves to the mix, and then checked himself in the mirror. Not bad, he thought, and when he stepped out of the door, Rinoa smiled.
"Hm, looking good, Squall," she commented. She put a hand through his elbow, surprising him, and gently led him outside the dorms.
Soon they were beyond, standing outside Garden and looking over Fisherman's Horizon. Barely visible down below on the helipad was a massive, multi-platform stage complete with spotlights projecting into the night. Squall could faintly hear cheering and saw hundreds of people gathered around to watch, some standing around the pad, others on the rim atop the power plant and overlooking the stage.
"You five went all-out, didn't you?" Squall asked, and Rinoa simply laughed again as she led him down to the rim around the power plant. Waiting for them there, a shining brass saxophone in hand, was Irvine, resplendent in a stylish white coat with an equally white hat. He grinned like a cat as they approached.
"Hey, hey, so you convinced him to show, eh?" Irvine asked, and Rinoa nodded. 'Good! Selphie and Zell put on a helluva show a bit ago. They haven't needed me just yet, and after this next song we're taking a break and gonna let some other people give it a shot. Selphie had them rig up an awesome sound system. Niknil Koen is up after us, they're a pretty badass rock band based out of FH here. Oh, yeah, and I found a nice spot for you two. Left something there to mark it. I might be by with a special someone later on." He grinned again as Selphie shouted something down below.
"And there's my signal!" He tipped his white hat and turned away, running down the ramp leading far below. Squall shook his head.
"Come on, we can't let them be waiting," Rinoa said, tugging his arm. "They won't play until they see us!"
Squall and Rinoa made their way down, pushing through the crowd, which often parted pretty quickly when they realized who was passing through. They soon reached the front of Dobe's house and circled around to get the stage into sight.
Squall shouldn't have been surprised, but he was, seeing Selphie standing atop the lowest of a series of platforms, an electric guitar slung before her. Unlike the others, who had dressed up, she wore her traditional yellow sun-dress. Behind and to her left was a smiling Irvine, saxophone in hand, and to her left was Zell, dressed up all in black vest, shirt, shorts, and boots, with a white baseball cap on his head turned backward as he held a bass guitar easily in his hands. And behind and above Selphie sat a nervous Quistis, dressed in her SeeD uniform, seated behind a piano. Selphie almost squealed when she saw squall, hopping up and down excitedly. Zell pumped his fists into the air as well, cheering, and Selphie grabbed a nearby microphone stand, pulling the mic off.
"Squall, you big stud!" she shouted, her voice reverberating around the concert arena. "This one's for you! Don't let him get away, Rinoa!"
Squall's face burst red in embarrassment and Rinoa, the improvised band, and a portion of the audience burst out laughing, followed by cheers and some rooting by the SeeDs and cadets. Above, Irvine began the song with a slow saxophone beat, and Zell stepped in with equally low bass beats and notes from his guitar. Quistis nervously followed with the piano, and Selphie joined in finally with her higher-pitched electric guitar. As the music began to play the classic Rinoa's mother had written long ago, she pulled Squall aside, out of view of the crowds and toward the edge of the platform. A magazine lay nearby, one with decidedly adult content, and Rinoa couldn't help but laugh at Irvine's choice of a marker.
"Probably came from his personal collection," she commented as she sat down on the edge. Squall joined her, hunched over a bit as he did so.
"You wanted to talk about something, right?" he asked, and she nodded.
"Well, its about your promotion," she began. "You're probably going to have a tough time." Squall nodded, but didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to rest.
"There's going to be a lot of difficult things you'll have to deal with from now on," she continued. "We thought about it, and we decided that you'd try to do everything on your own."
"They're probably right," he muttered, but too low for her to hear, and considered everything.
"They know you too well," she continued. "And I do too. Even Irvine understands you, probably better than you do yourself, and he's barely been around you a few days. Like, we know that when you start thinking, you go like this-"
Squall, who had been thinking and half-listening to her, had begun to put his hand against his forehead, a habitual motion when he started thinking, and as he heard Rinoa's words, he glanced over. She was mimicking his motion precisely, except she was looking over at him, smiling.
He raised a hand half-threateningly as he scowled in annoyance. She rolled away and stood up, laughing. He gave her a betrayed look, and she stopped, though she kept her smile, and instead stepped back beside him, crouching by his side.
"I'm sorry," she said insincerely. "But, despite whatever you're thinking, you can't handle everything on your own." Squall met her eyes, those warm brown eyes that were searching his gaze, reading his feelings like they were pages in a book. He reflexively turned away, not liking that penetrating gaze. He stared off into the night, hearing the continuing song that his friends were playing.
Then, abruptly, something hit him in the back and he fell forward, onto one of the solar panels, the clear, polished metal reflecting the starlight and tracing spotlights above. He landed easily, though his shoes slipped a bit on the fiberglass, but he was able to regain his balance. He spun around as Rinoa landed equally gracefully behind him, still smiling.
A momentary flash of anger hit him at her action - he could have cracked his skull or broken a bone. He had no junctions, what was she thinking-
"That's it," she said quickly, reading him again and his sudden burst of rare anger. "Just let out anything! Anything! Let us know you're alive underneath all that." Squall calmed outwardly, understanding her telling words, and stood still, though still a bit angry at her rash move.
"We want you to talk to us a little more," she said after a moment, her expression and posture pleading. "You know, if there's anything you want to tell us, anything, let us know. That's what we're here for. I know its not easy, but you should trust and rely us more."
Her words struck him deeply, and she must have understood, as she stopped talking, and instead watched him quietly. He almost imagined she could be reading his thoughts, and she probably was, with that damned natural empathy she seemed so good at exhibiting.
Was he that untrusting? But he didn't rely on others for fear that something would happen. Nothing lasted; it was great to have something to hold on to, people to trust, but that was a trap in and of itself, and became deadliest if one became used to it. He knew this better than anyone; at some point he was going to lose everything, and then he would be left with nothing. Nothing at all. And it was so difficult to recover from that loss; he had sworn he would never have to do that again. He would never have to feel the same as when he lost Sis. Even if it meant being alone . . . for the rest of his life.
But what was the point of living if one was alone?
"What a great night,' Rinoa was saying, looking up at the sky. "Great music, a good-looking guy. Not just good looking, but sweet, and a great listener, even if you have to hit him over the head to make him understand."
He looked up at her, and slowly nodded.
"Looks like he's listening to what you said," Squall muttered.
"He's shy and doesn't say anything, but I understand," Rinoa added, smiling as she looked back down at him. "So, what do you think? Is it still none of our business?"
"I appreciate your concerns for me," he replied. "But-"
"No buts!" she exclaimed, shaking her head. She stepped closer to Squall.
"Just think about this," she continued. "This might be the only time we have left together. As long as we're together, we should just enjoy each other's company. Otherwise, what's the point?"
"Just for now?" he asked. He closed his eyes. "Thanks, but forget it. I don't want friends who'll be gone tomorrow."
"You are such a pessimist," she complained, and he opened his eyes to see an annoyed frown on her face. "There are no guarantees in the future. That's why today, the time you have now, is important. Squall, we want to help for as long as we can, as much as we can. We all love you."
He blinked once, shocked at the statement, but she didn't stop.
"There, I said it," she said with a nod. She stepped closer, much more so. Squall would have called the word 'intimate' if he really recognized the situation. "We all care for you, some more than others, but all of us. Please, don't freak out. Don't run away. We just want to spend the time we can have together, being together."
"Together?" he asked, and she nodded. The word sounded strange, and he mulled over it, turning it in his mind, examining it as if it were something totally new in his mind.
"Keep that thought," she said quietly, not looking up at him. "Call on us when you need to. We'll be waiting. Like I said, who knows what will happen in the future? But I think we'll be together for a while." They stayed there, silent for a while, as the song continued. Squall thought long and hard about what she had said, not even considering that she was still standing close to him. What would it mean to rely on people? Could he do that again? Did he even want to?
She murmured something quietly as she looked back up to where the band was still playing.
"Hm?" he asked.
"I said it would be nice to dance to this," she said. "If only I had a partner." She looked back up at him, holding a hand out. Squall hesitated briefly, then his gloved fingers closed over hers. They stepped into the rhythm, the step that they had failed to continue that night weeks ago when she had gone from him. He suddenly felt a warm, undeniable feeling of togetherness, something he never wanted to leave.
"What's on your mind?" she asked a minute later as they continued the slow, intimate step. "Do you have any dreams? Any plans for the future?"
"I . . ." he began quietly. He was confused. Rinoa's words had had a profound effect, and her proximity was setting things off in his mind, opening the paths to gaps he had never imagined he'd had in his soul before. "I'd rather not talk about it right now. What about you?"
"Me?" she answered. "I . . . I suppose I don't want to talk too much about the future either. But right now . . . I'd like to stay here, just like this . . . ."
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Yee haw. Wheee, another chapter down. Next chappie: the Balamb occupation! Another chapter with a healthy dose of Peptuck Brand Originality! What will happen? Well, a tiny hint: Fujin and Raijin aren't the only ones who our intrepid heroes will encounter in Balamb!
Okay, commentary: The conversation between Squall and Rinoa during the concert is the "secret" alternate conversation you get if you pick the right instruments...which are actually the complete opposite of the ones I picked for this chapter. You have to have the flute, guitar, violin, and taps (yes, taps. For giggles, make Zell do it XP) to get this, otherwise you get the normal conversation.
I actually think that this conversation adds a tremendous amount to the story of the game. The talk if you get things right, I think, shows how the game is truly supposed to develop, and it definitely shows a smoother road to the eventual love story between Squall and Rinoa, and how she breaks his defenses and makes him fall for her. I love it. I liked Rinoa before, but after this conversation, I love her character. It adds a lot of depth to her and her ability to empathize. I strongly suspect that a lot of the people who don't like FFVIII's love story never saw this conversation because it adds that much to the story.
If you're wondering where I got the name of the rock band following Selphie's group, well, look carefully at the name. "Niknil" is "Linkin" backwards. "Koen" is Japanese for "park." XD Yes, LP made a cameo in this chapter!
Also, the exercise Squall does, the bodybuilder, is real. I do them, a lot. Very fun, though most people would be hard-pressed to do twelve of the twelve-counts, much less thirty! Jeez, I can barely do twelve ten-counts. (those involve only two push-ups instead of three)
Blarg! Yon shout-outs!
-JadeAlmasy: Is your Shift key not working? :P Sorry, couldn't help it, I just noticed that while reading. Eh, I don't mind if you take your time getting to the reviews. I read a lot but I don't review terribly much...only when I really like what I'm reading or otherwise have strong feelings toward it. Either that or my reviews are at complete random.
Hurry up and read more of Synthesis! Its not my aim to make FFVII seem better (actually, its not one of my faves, and neither Cloud or Tifa are characters I like at all) but to just make it interesting with all the character placements and interactions. I think FFVII would have better if FFVIII's characters had been in it, actually. Well, excpet Aeris. Aeris owns.
-Daniel Wesley Rydell: Sorry there wasn't too much on Dobe's resent towards Squall for the rescue. I didn't really like that bit, and after he bitched baout Squall saving his life...yeah, well, phooey on you old man. XD
-Dragoon Swordsman: The naval battle was a trump I just loved to whip out. I always imagined this fight between SeeDs and Galbadian ships, especially in this part of the story.
-Chloe: Glad to see a new face! I like increasing the importance of Xu in this story, and making her matter more.
-DBZ Fanfiction Queen: Yes. they are playing the instruments. Aw, you haven't seen Hellsing? :( you should watch it, 'tis good, especially in the bloody aspect.
-Rusty Knights Productions: obviously, writing those "behind the scenes" moments is some of the best parts of this. Maybe after I'm done I'll do an index of the "behind the scenes" moments in each chapter.
-Solid Shark: DECKHEAD! That's it! Many thanks!
-Chris Ganale: Eek! No blaster for you! XD
Interesting name, Bucketheads. I like it. Kinda like "Stormies" or "Imps." Better insult: "Gals." Makes 'em sound like girlie men. (no offense to the ladies) And no, there will be no blasters in this story. Heck, they barely have lasers yet!
-OniRazz: BOOM! Another update for you! Hope you enjoyed it.
