Ninja surprise update! I wasn't considering adding this, but then, well, I had a bout of Ah, Screw It Syndrome. Lucky for you guys, eh?

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The Gunblade Saga: An In-Depth Novelization of Final Fantasy VIII

Book Three: Semper Fidelis

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Chapter 39: Cold

Squall had not moved once in the last hour. He simply sat there, unmoving, like a stone statue, in Balamb Garden's infirmary.

The room was quiet, though it hadn't been that way a couple of days ago, as the medics and SeeDs had been rushing about, busy mending and tending the hundreds and hundreds of wounded left in the wake of the final, titanic clash with Galbadia Garden. It hadn't been until a week after the battle that Dollet ships had arrived, and had ferried the many wounded and dead away from Balamb Garden back to Dollet, and had taken the Galbadian prisoners of war. The Garden was much emptier now, with a sizable number of cadets and SeeDs taking the damaged Galbadia Garden to Fisherman's Horizon for repairs, and the surviving Dollet troops - little more than a quarter of their original number - had returned home, exultant in their victory alongside their Garden allies. There was talk that the Galbadian government was reeling from the defeat, and words of a new, strong alliance between the Garden and Dollet would rise up in the future. And with Edea's defeat, the shadow that had been cast over the world seemed to be lifting. Garden had won, and the world was safe once more.

But Squall Leonhart, the man who had led the combined armies in their finest hour, and the man who rightfully should have been leading Garden then, was at possibly the worst state in his entire existence. He had won, and had lived through the final, terrible battle against Edea herself, but now, it seemed as if he was dying. Not from a wound or a disease, but from something that had felled many great men before and would do so to more men in the future.

He was dying because of despair.

Squall was dying because Rinoa was dying.

She was cold, like a corpse, unmoving and still, not even the slightest flutter of motion, with the exception of a barely perceptible rise and fall of her chest every half a minute. For an entire week, she had been like this, and for almost all of that time, Squall Leonhart had sat beside her in the infirmary, keeping a never-ending vigil over her. He seemed to be living in an existence of tortured expectation, waiting for each breath from the still woman across from him, and as he chest lowered, exhaling the shallow intake of air, he had watched intently, terrified that that motion would not repeat itself again.

Squall had barely eaten or slept during the week between the victory and now, but had simply stayed by her side, not moving. Rinoa's loss had hit him harder than he ever could have imagined, like the loss of Ellone so long ago, only multiplied a hundred fold by guilt and pain. He felt that he could have done something, anything to prevent this from happening.

He was sitting there, waiting silently and expectantly, when a hand fell on his shoulder. Squall looked up slowly to see Quistis standing beside him, her own eyes on Rinoa, a mix of pain and concern in her own expression.

"Is she any better?" Quistis asked, to which Squall slowly shook his head, looking back just as Rinoa's chest rose again, before slowly dropping.

"You don't look too good yourself," Quistis added quietly. Squall didn't answer. He'd reached a point where he didn't care much more about his own well-being. With Rinoa in this state, Squall almost felt like he, too, had slipped away from a mobile, reactive life, reverting to a vegetative state.

"Squall," Quistis said after a few moments. "Cid returned yesterday. He's gone with Matron to the orphanage, but she said that she wanted to talk with us soon."

Squall nodded slowly, and sighed.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice cracking. It wasn't until then that the SeeD commander even realized he hadn't spoken at all over the last couple of days.

"Apparently she knows what it was that caused her to do everything," Quistis said. "I think its important we find out, in case this sort of thing happens again."

Squall closed his eyes. He didn't really care right now, so deeply had he been struck by Rinoa's coma. But perhaps Matron knew something that could help them. She was a Sorceress, after all . . . .

"All right," he said after several seconds. "Let's see what she has to say."

The orphanage was in shambles, Squall noted as he, with Selphie, Zell, Irvine, and Quistis following, entered their childhood home. What had once been a beautiful, majestic structure constructed entirely of white marble and stone, overgrown with vivid green ivy and with thick grass sprouting among the cobblestones, was now a wreck. Stone pillars were seemingly sliced in half, and one of the structures had collapsed in on itself. Everywhere were the signs of decay and destruction. Squall could only imagine what had happened between the time he had left the orphanage twelve years ago and now.

"I'm kind of scared," Zell muttered quietly. "Its been so long."

"Me too," Quistis added. "I'm sort of nervous meeting her again."

"Whatever she has to say must be important," Irvine commented as Squall approached the central structure of the compound, a large building where all of the orphans had lived in. Squall himself was only a little apprehensive, though he had understood why the others were a bit nervous. Before, they had been fighting a woman who almost certainly was not the motherly figure they had loved as children. But now, she was returned to them after over a decade. What would she be like now? And what had possessed her?

Squall didn't know, nor did that question matter much to him at the moment. All he cared about was Rinoa.

He opened the door leading into the main house, the old wood creaking as if it would fall apart in his hands. He stepped into the next room, and saw, once again, signs of neglect and destruction all throughout the central room. Scattered stone, splintered wood, and shattered furniture abounded, and Squall could smell the salty ocean air through the ruined and open walls.

He heard footsteps to the right as he entered, followed by his comrades, and saw the headmaster standing in a ruined doorway that overlooked the ocean. Cid Kramer looked older than he had in a long time, but he also seemed to be relieved and almost happy. He seemed to be a man who had just had a terrible burden lifted from his shoulders.

"Squall," he said, and smiled as the others followed him. "Good to see you all again. I want to thank you for what you've done." He paused.

"Is something wrong?" Quistis asked, and Cid managed a chuckle.

"I was worried," he stated. "I knew that whatever happened would be a terrible loss to me. If you lost, then you would be wiped out, by your own foster mother, no less. But if you had won, Edea would have died as well. But somehow, neither of those events happened. You won, and Edea is alive, and even more so, she is back to her former self."

"What happened to her?" Zell asked quickly.

"I think you should ask her," Cid replied. He turned around and walked out toward the beach. "She's waiting out here." Squall and his comrades followed him, out into the open air and onto the beach beyond. Aside from scattered stone and some ruined wooden poles, the only other thing on the beach was a slender wisp of a woman, with long black hair and a simple black dress. As they stepped out, she slowly turned toward them, casting her eyes over her children, now raised into adulthood. Squall could see that she was barely holding back tears at the sight, though of sadness or joy, he couldn't tell.

"My children," she whispered, walking slowly across the beach to where the group stood, and Squall knew from the tone of her voice, just like back in Galbadia Garden, that this was his Matron. "My children. Please . . . Forgive me for what has happened. I raised you as if you were my own, but still . . . ."

"We know, Matron," Squall answered. "We fought you, knowing who you were to us."

"You are SeeDs," she answered with a nod, and a tear-filled smile appeared on her face. "You cannot back away from your destiny. You were magnificent." She paused, and a shudder seemed to work its way along her body, a motion which quietly frightened Squall. What was she afraid of?

"However, even if the war is over, our troubles may not be," Edea continued. "What happened before may come to pass again. And if it does . . . ." she trailed off again.

"What happened?" Quistis asked.

"I was possessed," she replied in a soft tone, her expression shifting to both fear and disgust. "I was possessed by another Sorceress."

"Who?" Squall asked, immediately alarmed.

"Sorceress Ultimecia," Edea answered. "A terrible and powerful Sorceress."

"Another one?" Zell muttered. "Fine. We'll have to kick her ass!"

"It would not be so easy, Zell," Edea answered, smiling at his aggressive attitude. "Sorceress Ultimecia does not exist in our world. She dwells beyond, in the future, many generations ahead of us."

"Future?" Selphie reacted with surprise.

"Yes," Edea explained. "Far beyond ours. She is somehow able to send her consciousness back across time and into others' bodies, where she then exhibits control. Only the strongest of minds can resist her pull, and my mind was not strong enough."

"What does this bitch want?" Zell growled, now infuriated.

"Ellone," Edea answered. "As you well know, she wishes to find Ellone. Ellone can send others back across time, and so through me she was attempting to find her. But she could not send herself far enough back across time to seize me while Ellone was in my care. She is a very fearful Sorceress, her heart full of rage and sin. She is nothing less than a demon in human shape." Squall heard the vindictiveness and fear in his matron's voice, and knew not to take her words lightly.

"When she possessed me, she touched my soul, and I touched hers. She tried to rob me of my knowledge, and I did not have the will to fend her off. The only option I had was to seal my soul away, from beyond her reach, but in turn she would seize control of my body, fully and completely. Only from your actions, with so many threats pressing against her and weakening her hold, was I able to finally regain control. I fear our struggle cost me a large portion of my power, but I still hold enough to be a danger if she attempts to seize me again."

"And if she does?" Squall asked, absorbing the information.

"I will make a stand against her," Edea replied. "I will not be her puppet, and I will not give her my body again. But I will need aid, from all of you, if that were to happen again. And if I fail to stave her off . . . ."

"We understand," Zell said quietly.

"Ultimecia must know I am weaker," she continued. "I believe she will instead seek out another Sorceress to control. The only one I know of is the Sorceress who once ruled Esthar, Adel."

"Yeah, I know about her," Irvine said. "No one has heard anything about her for seventeen years."

"Indeed," Edea said with a nod. "The Galbadians must have believed that I was the one who had received Adel's power, but I am not. I received my powers from a Sorceress when I was only five years old, and again much later, twelve years ago." At this, she turned a significant look to Squall, but precisely what that look meant the SeeD didn't know.

"I believe that Adel is still alive," she continued. "And that with the loss of much of my power, Ultimecia has released me to seize Adel. But Adel's mind is strong. If Ultimecia tries to seize her, Adel may very well come to wield her power instead, and the dangers of such a thing happening are simply terrifying."

"Then we have to stop her," Squall said with a nod. He then paused, and let out a quiet breath, and shifted the subject. "Matron, do you know happened to Rinoa?"

"The girl in blue who was fighting alongside you?" Edea asked, and Squall nodded. "What happened to her?"

"After the battle," Squall said, and paused, swallowing. "She went cold and limp. She's not moving anymore . . . ."

"Has she died?" Cid asked quietly, concern immediately appearing on his aged features.

"No!" Squall answered, and everyone was surprised at the emotion in his voice at the denial. Edea considered his words for a long while, and finally shook her head sadly.

"I do not know what I could do," she answered. "But I will come with you to see to her."

"Matron . . . Thank you." with Edea's promise, Squall seemed to recede back from the conversation as the others moved in.

"So, why exactly does Ultimecia want Ellone's power?" Selphie asked.

"To send her consciousness back in time further than she can now," Irvine replied. "At least, it seems that way."

He heard the words, his mind registering them, but Squall's thoughts shifted back to Rinoa, still laying so still and cold in the infirmary. So different from the person she had been before, so vibrant and full of life. He distinctly remembered her brown eyes, penetrating deep into his heart and laying bare his innermost thoughts and feelings. But those eyes were closed now, maybe forever.

"What's she want to do in the past?" Zell asked as Squall thought.

They had their disagreements at first. Squall had been much more distant shortly after he had met her, and his cold ways had angered her. But somehow, despite her anger and his standoffish nature, she had steadily grown closer and closer to him, and he to her. Rinoa had exposed something inside, chipping away at his emotional armor so subtly he'd never noticed until the concert at Fisherman's Horizon.

"Time compression," Edea answered Zell.

"Eh?" the brawler replied.

"Time compression?" Selphie and Quistis echoed, confused.

Something had been happening between them over the last few weeks, something strange and new and both terrifying and welcome, and Squall had not known how to respond. With all his responsibilities as a leader, he had never had the opportunity to fully understand what they had been experiencing. And at the very moment when things had calmed down, when the entire war seemed to have been finally over, and the moment would have come for Squall to really, truly understand what it was he was going through, Rinoa had been ripped from him.

"Temporal magic," Edea continued. "A very powerful version of time magic that brings all existences together, compressing them into the basic existence of the past, present, and future. From there, it can be further compressed into one point in time, and further from there into one person or place. If that were to happen . . . ."

What had he missed? What had been stolen from him before he could even truly understand it? Rinoa was gone; any possibility of anything between them had vanished, and that notion sent a bolt of despair through Squall. Just as with before, with Ellone, something he had cared for was gone, and he couldn't bear the notion of it vanishing from his grasp again. He'd already lost one person he cared for. He couldn't lose Rinoa, no matter what it took.

"Squall, you paying attention?" Zell demanded suddenly, and Squall glanced up.

"So, all we have to do is keep Ultimecia from getting her hands on Ellone," Squall said, and the others were a bit surprised that he had heard every word despite his mental distance from the situation.

"More or less," Irvine replied. Squall nodded.

"We're heading back to Garden," he stated after a moment. "We'll start our search from there."

"What will we be looking for?" Zell asked.

"Ellone's last known whereabouts," Squall replied. "The White SeeD ship."

"You mean Trent and his followers?" Edea asked immediately. "You've been in contact with them?"

"Yes, Matron," Squall replied, remembering Trent's words about being "Edea's SeeD". "Ellone was last seen boarding their ship. Do you know anything about them?"

"They are my personal escort," she replied quietly. "And they serve to protect Ellone. It is their duty to protect the Sorceress. But those children are very cautious. You will not find them unless they wish to be found. But I can help you."

The next day, Balamb Garden was moving through the blasted remnants of what had once been the northern continent of Centra. Deep ravines and inlets marked the continent, spreading outward around the impact crater from the Lunar Cry from eight decades ago. An impact so powerful it shattered a continent; Squall had a hard time imagining the raw, destructive power involved.

He stood on the bridge, silent and brooding as he watched the barren brown landscape float past, offering only one-worded responses or simple nods to Nida's questions concerning navigation. He kept his eyes open for the familiar form of the White SeeD ship, but also kept an eye on the horizon for any threats. The mysterious "ghost ships" that the picket Salamanders had spotted had not made a reappearance, but Squall wouldn't have been surprised if they did. He had the feeling that Esthar was watching them . . . .

The intercom beeped, and Squall tapped it.

"Bridge," he said quietly.

"Squall?" came Matron's soft voice, and he stiffened visibly.

"Yes, Matron?" he asked, not saying Rinoa's name. The word was caught somewhere in his throat.

"Could you come to the infirmary?" she asked, and he nodded.

"Right away," he replied, and flicked it off. He glanced at Nida. "Continue the search. Let me know if you find anything."

"Aye-aye," Nida answered, but Squall was already moving, heading toward the elevator. He descended through the Garden and exited onto the first level, before moving out into the infirmary. He entered the silent room, seeing Doctor Kadowaki standing in the doorway into the small room where Rinoa lay. Within the room, sitting in the same chair Squall had been residing in over the last week, was Edea, a perplexed and frustrated look on her face. The Doctor heard Squall's entry and moved out of his way, so he could enter the small medical room.

"Matron," he said quietly, almost hopefully, but Rinoa still lay there, silent and still, only faintly breathing at her agonizingly slow pace. She was still pale, and as Squall looked to Edea, it looked like she was just as white. Edea shook her head before Squall could ask any questions.

"I am sorry, Squall," she said. "Perhaps it is because my powers are so much weaker now, but I cannot sense anything. There is nothing in her. I cannot feel anything."

"You mean, she's . . . ." Squall began to ask, but did not finish the question, instead being gripped by a new fear. Matron quickly shook her head again.

"She is alive," Edea replied. "But I cannot feel her. I have tried for many long hours, but I cannot sense her life force. It is not because my powers are too weak to sense them, as I can detect yours and those of everyone else around me. But Rinoa . . . She seems to be sealed away, in some type of suspended animation. I cannot feel her. I am sorry, Squall. I do not know what I could do, even if I had my full power."

Squall stood there in silence for several long moments, looking back down to Rinoa. All of his hope had drained away and the despair was returning, flooding back into his heart. Slowly, he reached down and grasped one of Rinoa's icy hands, tightening his grip around it and hoping that she might do the same.

Nothing happened, however, and he was left sitting there in the silence, alone.

"What can we do?" Squall asked after a couple of minutes.

"Perhaps we cannot do anything ourselves," Edea answered. "we are only human, even those few of us gifted - or cursed - as Sorceresses. But there are forces at work in this world that are beyond the power of the flesh, Squall." She reached across and placed a hand atop the one he had placed over Rinoa's.

"Sometimes, Squall, we must put our fates and our lives in the hands of our faith that things will be better. But even so, you must keep your eyes open. One never knows what form salvation will take." Squall considered her words for a long time, and finally nodded.

"I understand, Matron," he said quietly, and Edea smiled.

"Now, you go to your room and get some sleep," she added, and Squall glanced up, not entirely receptive to the notion.

"You've gotten barely a night's worth of sleep over the last week," Doctor Kadowaki added, reentering the room. She put her hands on her hips scoldingly. "That's no way for an extremely important commander to act, especially around his mother." Squall looked back and forth between the Doctor and his matron, his expression seeming betrayed, but he reluctantly conceded with a nod.

"And don't worry, Squall," Edea added as he rose slowly, not taking his eyes from Rinoa. "She is in good hands, better than you can imagine."

"I know, Matron," Squall answered quietly. He gave Rinoa one final look, and then did what could have been the hardest thing he had ever done: give her safety to someone else.

Moving back through the halls of Balamb Garden, Squall felt his footsteps weighed down, and exhaustion creep over him. He was more tired than he imagined. All the stress and guilt had taken an incredible toll on his body.

The SeeD commander stepped back into his dorm room after what seemed to be an eternity of walking through the halls. He managed to get his boots off before collapsing onto the bed. He tapped a button on the wall above his head, and the lights dimmed so that only pale streamers from the curtains cut into the small chamber. Squall rolled over on his bed, looking out across the room to his unfinished gunblade, sitting in its case in the closet, and wondered what it would look like once he'd finished it. It was a random thought in his jumbled mind, one final thought as he felt the drowsiness sweep over him, finally being let in after being staved off for so long.

A single remaining thought cut through the mental haze as darkness consumed him: the depth of this sleep and the speed it was coming were so profound and swift that it didn't seem normal.

I was considering continuing this chapter, but then realized that it would lead into another Laguna interlude, and I didn't want to break my own tradition of separating the interludes from the main story. XD Its short, but hey, you guys get my commentary too, so don't complain.

The title of this book, Semper Fidelis, is from the motto of the United States Marine Corps. Its Latin for "Always Faithful." I don't think I could have possibly found a better title for this book, myself.

Also, while you kiddies get an extra update this week, it may be a bit before you get another. I haven't even started on the upcoming Laguna interlude, and finals are a couple of weeks away, so be patient.