14
Q-pid
A few days after Voyager entered The Void, as the crew called it, Captain Kathryn Janeway had locked herself in her quarters. Except her first officer, no one had seen her in several weeks. The crew was getting concerned, and Chakotay was very worried about her. Everyone had lost count of the number of days she had isolated herself. So Chakotay stopped by Kathryn's quarters using a new report as an excuse to see her, but what he really wanted to do was get her out of her cabin for the evening.
"It's probably nothing, just background theta radiation, but it could mean there's someone nearby," Chakotay briefed her.
"Distance?" She asked, not looking away from her window as she observed the starless space.
"Approximately twenty-five light-years," Chakotay replied as he watched her with concern.
"It's a long shot but alter course," she ordered as she glanced at him briefly for the first time in their conversation.
"Yes, ma'am."
"If that's all, Commander," she said abruptly as she gazed back out into the emptiness of space.
Kathryn kicked herself for looking in Chakotay's direction, 'Damn! Why did I have to look at him? Now is not a good time regardless of the absence of… Of whatever this is.'
"Actually I'd like to make a request," he told her cheerfully. "I've been saving up my holodeck rations and I've got three full hours coming. Any chance I might persuade you to join me for a few rounds of velocity? It'll help clear your mind."
"My mind is perfectly clear," she snapped, thinking 'Can't he understand that this is a bad time?'
"Then, what if I told you I'm not leaving until you join me?"
"I'd say have a seat, it'll be a while," she said sarcastically.
'She's in a really bad mood tonight', Chakotay thought, 'but I'll drag her out of here somehow, and hopefully she'll get out of the mood she is in currently. There's nothing happening right now, so it would be a perfect time.'
"Then I'll be blunt," he finally told her. "You've picked a bad time to isolate yourself from the crew. This ship needs a captain, especially now."
"Would you be satisfied with: I'm just catching up on some reading? I'm not sure I understand it myself. It started when we entered this… What does the crew call it?"
"The Void."
"Charming," she remarked snidely. "Oh what I wouldn't give for a few Borg cubes about now, anything for a little distraction! Strange as it sounds, I almost long for the days when we were under constant attack, no time to stop and think about how we got stranded in the Delta Quadrant," she stopped for a moment as she silently added, 'or about you for that matter.'
She turned and faced him finally, "How did we end up here, Chakotay?"
Chakotay could tell she was extremely depressed and discourage, but he also sensed there was something else she was not telling him.
"Answer me," she demanded.
He decided not to push her but instead answered her question, "We were faced with a difficult choice. We had the means to get home but using it would have put innocent people at risk so we decided to stay."
She stopped him with a wave of her hand, "No, no, I decided to stay. I made that choice for everyone."
"We're alive and well, and we've gathered enough data about this Quadrant to keep Starfleet scientists busy for decades," he protested. "Our mission's been a success." He tried to raise her spirits, but to no avail.
"Very same words I've been telling myself for the past four years, but then we hit this Void," she gestured towards the window, "and I started to realise how empty those words sound."
"Kathryn…"
"I made an error in judgement, Chakotay!" She insisted, her voice rising slightly as she began to express anger with herself. "It was short-sighted and it was selfish, and now all of us are paying for my mistake. So if you don't mind, Commander, I'll pass on that little game and I'll leave shipboard morale in your capable hands. If the crew asks for me, tell them the captain sends her regards."
"No, that isn't good enough!" Chakotay retorted angrily. "You're the captain of this ship. You should be out there with the crew reassuring them all is well."
"YOU can assure them of that and they can run the ship just fine without me," she insisted. "You don't need me!"
"Maybe, but we need you for moral support."
"I can do that from here!" She stated emphatically.
"No, you can't, because they can't see you and they've been asking for you."
"Just tell them I'm fine and send them my regards," she repeated sternly.
"Not good enough! Damn it, Kathryn, there's a lot more troubling you than you're letting on and we need to talk about it."
"I'm fine, Chakotay!"
"Ah, a lover's quarrel," A familiar voice interrupted. "How sweet!"
"Q!" They both chorused.
"You remember! How nice of you to remember."
"What are you doing here, Q?" Janeway demanded angrily.
"I noticed two lovers having a spat, so I thought I'd drop in and patch things up between you and Chuckles here."
"We aren't lovers," Kathryn insisted.
"Really? Oh, it is hard to tell, considering the way you two go at it, and then there was, what did you call it? Oh yes, New Earth. You do remember New Earth, don't you?"
"What do you know about New Earth?" Chakotay asked curiously.
"Trust me, I peek in on you every now and then to see how you're doing," Q informed them. "I thought your relationship was going marvellously then. Too bad it had to turn out like this."
"Q, get out!" Janeway yelled.
"Not until I've helped you two smooth things out between yourselves."
"Whatever you have in mind, forget it, Q!" Chakotay growled.
"Let's see, where would be the best place to put you so you can be alone without any distractions, and work this out between yourselves?"
"Q!" Janeway warned.
"Oh, I have the perfect place!"
"If you…" Before Kathryn had a chance to finish her sentence, she and Chakotay found themselves in a turbolift. Janeway tapped her combadge, "Janeway to Bridge."
They heard nothing but silence on Janeway's combadge, so Chakotay hit his and said, "Chakotay to Bridge."
There was still nothing but silence.
"Deck 8," Janeway finally ordered the turbolift.
The turbolift did not respond.
"Bridge!" She tried again to get the turbolift to move and still it remained motionless.
Chakotay was checking the panel on the wall next to the door, "Everything looks fine here, so the only thing that is keeping us from communicating with the crew and the turbolift from moving is Q."
Suddenly there was a flash of light and Q stood before them again, "You humans are so slow! Of course I did this. You're stuck here until you work things out between yourselves or until I tire of you and decide to put an end to your miserable existence."
"Get us out of here now, Q!" Janeway insisted firmly.
"And not play Q-pid? Where's the fun in that?" Q taunted. "I'd love to get together two people, such as yourselves, who love each other. Though for the life of me, I'm not sure why."
"This has gone far enough!" Chakotay insisted.
"Obviously not far enough," Q insisted. "You're not together again."
"We never were, Q!" Janeway growled.
"I beg to differ," Q chided. "Why else would you play so hard to get with me?"
"Oh please!" Janeway sneered as she turned away from him and walked over to the wall of the turbolift.
"And you, Chuckles, you're a riot! What was that story? Oh yes! I can tell you a story about an Angry Warrior… That warrior is you and don't deny it! Why couldn't you have just come out and say, 'Kathryn, darling, I love you!'? No, the story made it so much easier to say," Q jeered. "Please! Why don't you just give her a kiss and tell her you love her? Oh, no! Wait! She has to make the first move, but she can't do that because of protocol. What a tangled web we weave when we try to deceive ourselves!"
"This ends now, Q!" Kathryn shouted angrily as she approached him once more.
"Not until you two kiss and make up!" Q informed them as he zapped himself out of the turbolift, leaving them alone again.
"OK, so what do we do now?" Chakotay asked Kathryn.
"We wait until Q gets tired of this little game," she stated as she leaned against the wall of the turbolift.
"And that would be when?"
Kathryn sighed as she slid down the side of the wall and sat down on the floor, "You're right. To him, our eternity is but a nanosecond."
Chakotay walked over to sit beside her, "I hate to say it, but he does have a point."
"I liked your 'Angry Warrior Story', even if you were talking about you and me," Kathryn dreamily told him as she thought back on that night. "I thought it was the most beautiful story I've ever heard."
"I'm glad you liked it," Chakotay replied, "But that wasn't what I meant."
"Oh?"
"No, I meant the games we play trying to cover up how we feel towards each other. I'm not saying they are bad, I'm just saying…" he paused. "I don't know what I'm saying."
"The tub was wonderful too."
"Glad you liked it as well."
"Oh, I more than liked it," she exclaimed. "I loved it! And you know why I loved it?"
"Because you love a bath?"
"No, because you made it for me and the only reason you made it for me was because you cared so much for me."
"I still do."
Suddenly feeling a bit uneasy, Kathryn stood and walked around the turbolift. She eyed the walls as she said, "Why the turbolift? Why not zap us back to New Earth?"
"Maybe he thinks small places are cosier?"
She turned and looked at him menacingly, "Funny, Chakotay!"
"I wasn't trying to be funny."
"OK, Q is, but when is he not trying to be funny?"
"Even when he is trying to be funny, he's seriously sarcastic too," Chakotay pointed out to her.
"You mean, when he is not trying to be funny, he's sarcastic."
"He can be both at times."
"True, but what is his reason for trying to play cupid?"
"You mean Q-pid," Chakotay said with a grin.
"Chakotay, it wasn't funny when Q said it and it's not funny when you say it," Kathryn scolded.
"To quote Mister Paris, 'I was just trying to lighten the mood a bit.'"
"Well, don't. I want out of here and back in my quarters now."
"Why?"
"I want to be alone."
"For a minute, when you were talking about New Earth, I thought you didn't mind my company."
"I don't," Kathryn informed him with a sigh as she turned away from him and walked to the other side. "I just want to be alone right now."
"You've been distant and depressed ever since we hit this Void," Chakotay told her. "Talk to me, maybe I can help you."
"No, no," she turned quickly around and shook her raised finger, "because then we'd be playing Q's game and I'm not playing!"
"Kathryn," Chakotay stood and walked over to where she stood, puzzled by her statement. "I don't care about Q's little game. I care about you."
She stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to say.
"Let me help you with whatever is bothering you," he gently coaxed. "We can get through this together."
"Chakotay, I know you care, but I have to deal with this myself. I got us into this mess; I'm not going to make it any better by crying about it."
"What's the difference between crying and locking yourself in your quarters feeling sorry for yourself?"
"There is a difference."
"Feeling sorry for yourself is not the same difference?"
"No, it's not."
"Well, whatever is troubling you, you need to talk about it."
"I did already!" She growled at Chakotay.
"No, you blamed and criticized yourself for our circumstances," he told her. "You didn't do any of this by yourself even if you are the captain of this ship. You had the help of the whole crew. We've all worked together to keep us alive and well."
"No, I ordered everyone to…"
"I could have easily started a mutiny, but I didn't and you know why?"
"No, I intimidated you…"
"Damn it, Kathryn! You don't get it do you?"
"Get what?"
"After all this time, you still don't know?"
"Know what?"
"From the moment I laid eyes on you, I was attracted to you," his voice softened slightly. "We had…We have a chemistry that few command teams share."
"We work well together," she shrugged off his comment.
"It's more than that."
"It can't be more than that. We can't let it be more than that." The tears she had fought to hold back were slowly rolling down her face.
"Why not?"
"I've told you, a relationship between the command team can't work."
"It's obviously not working now."
"No," she said softly, almost too soft for him to hear.
"Is that why you've been hiding in your quarters?" He asked her.
"There's nothing else to do out here."
"All the battles with the Borg and the other aliens kept your mind off of us, didn't they?"
"They helped."
"That's the problem isn't it?" Slowly he placed his hand on her shoulder and gently caressed it.
"No," she lied. "It's all the other things that could have been if we weren't stuck out here."
He pulled his hand away from her, "If we weren't stuck out here, I'd be in prison, and we would have never known our feelings for each other."
"Maybe."
"That would have been easier for you, wouldn't it?"
"No Chakotay, I…" she could not speak as she shook her head. The tears were flowing faster down her face.
"Kathryn, I love you and no Borg, Hirogen, Kazon, Vidiians, or Starfleet is going to change that."
"The crew…"
"I don't think the crew is going to be ruined if we are more than just a command team."
"Chakotay…"
"That's it? That's what has been bothering you, isn't it?"
"You know me well, Chakotay," her voice was quiet as she continued to fight the tears. "Yes, I was avoiding you. Since we entered this Void, there seems to be nothing to think about on the Bridge when I sit beside you. How I wish we could be more, but I have to fight the urge to touch you," she gently slid her hand down the side of his face. "I can't ask you to keep me company at night when there are no stars to look at. I feel a void inside me that is as great and vast as the one we see out of the windows of this ship."
"Oh, Kathryn," he gently pulled her to him and held her close.
"I love you, Chakotay, and it hurts to not be able to acknowledge it."
"You just did, Kathryn. You just did," he whispered and kissed the top of her head.
They stood on the turbolift quietly holding each other for a few minutes as Kathryn released all the pent up emotions she had held inside her.
Finally, she cried, "I do love you, Chakotay. I really do."
"I know you do," he tried to soothe her as he caressed the back of her head.
"I'm just so scared."
"Don't be. It'll be alright. Neither the crew nor this ship is going to fall apart because we love each other."
He continued to console her quietly for a few more minutes, and then finally said, "Well, we've made up now. Q should be taking us out of here soon."
Kathryn chuckled, "We've made up, but there is one more thing Q said he wanted us to do before he let us out of here."
"What was that?"
"This," she replied and then kissed him passionately.
When she released his lips, Chakotay said, "That was nice, but I think I could do you one better."
"Yeah?"
He repossessed her mouth with his and gently parted her lips with his tongue. Then their tongues danced together until suddenly Kathryn pulled away and gasped for air from his long intoxicating kiss.
"Oh, Chakotay," she purred.
"Oh how sweet!" Q suddenly popped into the turbolift clapping his hands. "The two lovebirds are back together again. I make a great Q-pid, don't you think?"
"OK Q, you've had your fun now," Kathryn stated. "As much as we appreciate what you've done for us, get us out of here!"
"Certainly!" As fast as Q said the word and waved his hands, they were back in Kathryn quarters, only this time in her sleeping area, which looked strikingly different.
"What is this, Q?" Kathryn demanded. "And why is my bed heart shaped with red satin sheets and a mirror over it?"
"I thought you'd like the honeymoon suite," he quipped as he gestured around the room. "There's even a small fridge over in the corner with champagne, cheese, and fruit."
Kathryn and Chakotay stared at Q in disbelief.
"What? Isn't that the traditional refreshments for honeymooners?"
"Only after they are married, Q," Chakotay comment.
"Oh, well," briefly he seemed to ponder his faux pas and then decided to overlook it. "You soon will be. Trust me. So, enjoy it now as an early honeymoon present from me."
"Q, get out!" Kathryn and Chakotay chorused.
"Oh yes. That would help, wouldn't it?" He looked at them with confusion as they glared at him. "After all, you don't need me anymore!"
"OUT!"
"I'm leaving. I can take a hint!" He stated indignantly. "Some gratitude!"
Q left in a flash of light and Chakotay turned towards Kathryn, "Well, unless you have any better ideas, I guess I'll be going."
"Wait!" She reached out and grabbed his shoulder as he to turn to leave. When he turned back around, she continued, "Why waste good food and wine? I mean, we don't have to… I mean…"
"Would you like me to stay?"
"If you don't mind," she replied. "We can sit on the couch and enjoy each other's company or…"
"Or what?"
"We could… See where the evening takes us," she grinned.
"Whatever you feel comfortable with, Kathryn," Chakotay replied with a smile. "I'll get us some champagne."
Chakotay went over to the little fridge, took out the bottle of champagne, along with chilled glasses, and prepared to pour them each a glass.
When he turned, he saw Kathryn sitting on the edge of the heart shaped bed.
"We can go with my first idea and sit on the couch if you prefer."
"No, no. This is fine," he stated as he handed her a glass. "As you said, it would be a shame to waste all of this."
He kissed her before sitting down on the bed beside her.
"So, where do we go from here?" Kathryn asked.
"Do you really have to ask that?" Q sarcastically asked as he popped his head through the wall and then back out again, "Humans!"
