Back to the review replies. I know you missed them. (rolls eyes)
Mrs. Tom Riddle: Thank you!
DarkPriestessofAssimbya: Stalker Erik and Masque de Nuit, as well as Musique et Amour, are all one and the same. Ahem. It appears he is a lover of pseudonyms as well as trap-doors... The difference is, all the dialogue that takes place in italics is happening in "reality," or what passes for reality in my eyes, in the Administrative Office where I write from. The Admin Office is populated by my minions, my PR agent Adison, and Stalker Erik/MdN/MeA, as my pretend-husband and the one who spurs me on with manly-squees. So he's up there, and his fictional alter ego is down in the lair. However, everything that happens in the Admin office is actually fictional as well.(grins as she reads what she just wrote) I know its terribly confusing, I'm sorry, but that's the way my mind works. And of course you can use my story.
joanieponytail: Sorry, had to give Gerry something to cover... have to keep this phic rating down, y'know...
Ludivine: Okay, well— you enjoy that— salmon patty. (mouths the words "salmon patty" to herself and then mimes throwing up) Who, me?
Inayasha-chibi: I want a Red Death plushie!
The Singing Fox Demon: And the extras begin... now. (takes a bow)
lazy.kender: "Or is it?" is a running gag in my stories. Its shown up in at least three that I can think of. I don't like to let go of a good thing—
THELadyRedDeath: Your comment about chaos— EXACTLY!
Musique et Amour: (gives you a muffin for the nice long review) Almost exactly what I was looking for. You think you're sad with the forehead-kisses— sir, I regret to inform you that your manly squees form the highlight of my week. Please don't take them away from me. I will sing for you if you do. You won't like it.
Baffled Seraph: Thank you for the applause. I love applause.
LuvinLivnReadn: Counting how many people quoted the dog-turd line— One.
Melissa Brandybuck: No, nooo, not the puppy eyes—
EriksAngel1870: (counting) Two.
letthedreamdescend: So the ending wasn't too melodramatic then? Leroux Erik does that to me, makes me go all misty-eyed and lip-quiver-ish. And then I write it that way. (conks self on head) Well, I suppose there are just some characters whomyou just.... must... hug...
Moonlightrosegoddess: Extras work?
Mithril2014: Outtakes... outtakes outtakes! Soon! I promise!
Renee17: Your dedication is truly— well I was going to say inspiring but what I mean, I think, is "ego-pleasing". Thank you.
Willow Rose: Torture? Dunno. How's sandwiches sound to you? (loves the fact that you're going to puzzle over this till the outtakes are up)
La Foamy: (still counting) Three. I am officially glad I put that line in.
Songwind: You'll be pleased to know that the Persian makes a slight cameo in the outtakes.
Misty Breyer: Terms of Endearment— I actually did start writing it again, after getting over my depression over losing the next two chapters— grr, I hate computers. But it will be updated sometime soon, I promise. Oh, and (still counting) four. (smiles)
Marianne Brandon: Outtakes coming soon!
MetaChi: (smacks herself on head) I just realized that I forgot to go back and take out the hyphen in your name. You probably thought I was doing it to get on your nerves, didn't you? (still counting) Five. Oh, and the Leroux Erik description? All I actually wrote was on there. I started to go all misty-eyed and swan-necked and other things associated with narcissi and princesses in floofy dresses, and then I just made myself STOP before I embarrassed myself. Sorry. If I had actually written it, I'd send it to you. If I ever do write one, I'll send it to you. If you want some serious Leroux-writing, you could check out "Folie A Deux." I wrote about half of it, along with JJC Beowulf. Its posted under her name.
Librarian of the Deep: Thank you for forgiving me. And does the fact that there'll be about twenty chapters with the extras help a bit?
Maggie: Hey, you're a lurker? You should join the party! I lurked for a long time, but I was glad when I finally started posting on PFN. I got minions out of the deal. Minions are awesome.
gavvie: Okay, so you like the word guffawed. Good—
longblacksatinlace: Another outtake-rooter. Soon. I promise! I swear on my life!
Chat-tastic: Glad you liked your cameo. :)
Adison: ADISON! Best PR agent ever! Have I given you a CHAPTER DEDICATION already? Doesn't matter, you get one now, for writing that snarf-inducing review. (hugs) Very much loved it. Very much comforted by it. Thank you. Hey, this is weird. Spell-check recognizes the word "snarf." Who would have guessed?
ElfLover: (catches muffins) Thank you.
Tango1: So the dissertation didn't— throw you off at all? Really, I wanted to deliver it, then I was going to have Stalker Erik deliver it, then I decided in the spirit of true randomosity I ought to have one of my own characters deliver it— if any of you are the least bit curious as to who and what Streight is, glance down at the bottom of this update. There's a slight explanation.
Phantom's Fallen Angel: Don't worry— there is an outtake called "Cuddles." You'll probably like it—
Alternate Ending
"Got it," said Mandy the O, as the huddle broke up. The Eriks turned to face their captors— shoulders back, arms behind their backs, chins up, and Gerry Phantom chewing on the remains of a muffin he'd found on the floor.
The Writers took a deep breath.
"We want," said Songwind quietly.
The Eriks held their breaths.
"— Leroux Erik to sing for us."
There was a dumbstruck pause.
"Is that all?" said Kay Erik, his eyes wide behind his mask. " All those demands you made previously— become one simple requirement?"
"Well, it may not be so simple," said MetaChi. "I mean, after all, Leroux Erik isn't the easiest person to get around— its extremely likely that we may have to torture him in order to get him to sing. Although— see, torture is alright if the outcome is good—"
The Writers murmured agreement.
"And besides," said Le Chat, with a disarming smile, "now we know exactly how it feels to have our demands not met. I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel almost— Erik-ish."
"I always feel Erik-ish," said Stalker Erik self-importantly, but was uncompromisingly ignored. He folded his arms and muttered something about a disaster beyond their imagination, but even this did not help.
"And so," said Adison, "if you would be so kind as to persuade, convince, win over, sway, or otherwise just make Leroux Erik do what we want?"
The three Eriks looked at each other.
"I suppose," said Crawford Phantom with a shrug.
"We'll have to call in a few favors," murmured Gerry Phantom.
"What do you mean, favors? He doesn't owe us any favors!"
"Well— alright, suppose we take the Christines hostage."
"I don't know why there are any Christines left," said Kay Erik sourly. "Mine died early on, it seems, as she never even made an appearance."
Crawford Phantom and Gerry Phantom stared at him.
"Your Christine never came," said Gerry Phantom, with a disturbing lack of tact.
"What?"
"She never even came, see. She was quite content in her life, it seems. And anyway, she'd had you. That's all she wanted."
"No she didn't!" said Kay Erik explosively. "I was dying!"
Gerry Phantom and Crawford Phantom made dismissive "Yeah, whatever" gestures.
"I was! And anyway, her fop came down here as though he expected to find her here!"
"Well," said Crawford Phantom thoughtfully, "it has been mentioned before that fops are not the brightest of God's creatures."
"Bugger you all!" snarled Kay Erik. "I know she came down for me! She loved me! And she just died early on! That's all!"
Gerry Phantom shrugged. Crawford Phantom made to pat Kay Erik on the shoulder, but had his hand knocked ruthlessly aside.
"Returning to the matter at hand," said Gerry Phantom pleasantly, "how are we to get Leroux Erik to sing?"
They turned to face the rest of the lair, thoughtful looks upon their faces, and found that there was a pile of newly-punjabbed bodies directly in front of them, besides which Leroux Erik stood, the punjab held gently in his hand, his breath under iron control.
"You might try asking me," said Leroux Erik.
And so, within the space of a few more minutes, Leroux Erik had the lair back to himself again, having killed everyone else. He couldn't make himself worry about this too much— after all, he was the Phantom of the Opera— they had known what they were getting into.
Alone among the others, he retained Weak-Willed Christine, who having recovered from her near drowning all those chapters ago, consented to stay with him and do her best to make him happy. He had taken a rather perverse liking to her, in his own peculiar way, and so for years afterwards the lair resounded with their distinctive conversation.
"I don't suppose you— no, I mean, its kind of silly— but could you— never mind."
"What is it, my angel?"
"Well, seeing as you're the one who killed all these people, it just doesn't make sense to me that I should be the one who digs all the graves. But then— that's just me. At least—"
"Dig, my angel. Dig for meeee!"
"Oh, alright."
What more need be said?
Just this.
Muffin, anyone?
CREDITS
The Phantoms: Kay, Leroux, Gerry, Crawford, Panaro, Little, Englund, Chaney, Banderas, and Every Other Version Ever Invented or Portrayed
The Christines: Real, Emmy, Brightman, Weak-Willed, Folie A Deux, and Every Other Version Ever Invented or Portrayed
The Fops: Patrick, Kay, Leroux, and Every Other Version Ever Invented or Portrayed
The Writers: Sarah Crawford, Willow Rose, Mandy the O, EmailyGirl, Melissa Brandybuck, The Maiden Amorisa (AKA mistressphantomshadow) Mademoiselle Phantom, Phantress, EriksAngel1870, bundles 'o joy, ElfLover, Stalker Erik (AKA Musique et Amour) flamingices, VegaOfTheLyre (AKA RoxieBarberHer), ChristineX, obsessionpersonified, pOtOgurl417, eyesofatragedy, IChooseTheScorpion, Librarian of the Deep (AKA Oboe Phreak), Killthefop, sparklyscorpion (AKA Honeybee), Slina, longblacksatinlace, THELadyRedDeath, Sydney the Poet, Padfootz-luvr, SimplyElymas, Johanna Gen, xxXGoddessOofOdeadOloveOxx, Sonwind, Phantomy-cookies, thusser-scout, DarkPriestessofAssimbya, Meta-Chi, A-Lonely-Dreamer-56, Phantom's Fallen Angel, ButterflyOFLothlorien, Mademoiseelle Daae, Le Chat, lazy.kender
The Minions: YoukoElfMaiden
Hoshi
Misty Breyer
phantomzgerl
darksidetwin2
Renee17 (AKA Jackie)
The PR Agent: Adison
The Pretend-Husband: Masque de Nuit (AKA Stalker Erik)
The Self-Inserting Writer: Random L. Battlecry, AKA Felicity Dippery, AKA Felicity Bredon Curare, AKA Felicity Danielle, AKA Mrs. de Nuit #14, AKA The Confusing Little Person With The Peculiar Eyes
POTO in 15 Minutes by cleolinda at Live Journal
Genn appears courtesy of Mandy the O, from her phic An Eternity of This
Weak-Willed Christine appears courtesy of herself
Muffins appear courtesy of Mrs. Jacqueline Dippery
Streight appears much to everyone's bemusement. He is Random's favourite-ever original fictional character, from her novel, "Comeback Jack," excerpts of which can be found on her professional page. The professional page can be found on her author's bio page. The author's bio page can be found by clicking on her name at the top of this page. This page can be found by— look, just how stupid are you?
