Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anything that has ever been mentioned in the Harry Potter books does not belong to me. I would like to own them, and make billions of dollars every year, but the only thing in this story that is mine is my plot, if you can call it one. I am simply one of those very sad people who obsess over something that isn't real. So please, don't sue me, all I have that is of any value is a cello and a computer. Thank you for your time
Chapter Eleven
Lily stared out after James. What the hell was that? She asked herself rhetorically, but she knew precisely what it was. He had just put into words the feelings she had kept hidden for years. The feelings that she had been ready to shove into a box and hide in the deepest, darkest corner of her mind for the rest of her life. And they had actually consented, in a way. But now…
She was going to be lucky if she ever managed to get a lid on those feelings again. Lily hated how her heart decided that it knew better than her mind, and so now she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She knew she shouldn't go in and marry Rick, not now that she realized that she had never stopped loving James, but she didn't want to get burned again.
He's the flame, and I'm the stupid moth who never learns a lesson. Life's just not being fair, and I don't know why. I haven't done anything as horrible as this to anyone recently, so it couldn't be Karma…
Says who you haven't done anything bad? The voice that she now recognized, after several recent lectures from it, as her supposed conscience. You did basically rip his heart in a few large pieces a few times, in all honesty. Particularly at his and Alexis's engagement party. That was cruel, Lily, and turnabout is fair play.
Why can't you ever be on my side? Lily wailed inwardly. I deserve a little sympathy too!
Sympathy only goes to those who deserve it, and, frankly, Lily, you don't. You've been given too many opportunities to go back on your wrong, and you haven't made good on any of them, so you have no sympathy from me.
Lily couldn't think of any arguments for that. It was true, everything that her conscience had told her. She had had an endless number of opportunities to right all the wrongs that she had committed, but she had chosen not to. And this could be her very last chance.
She knew she shouldn't be doing this, and a tiny part of her didn't want to, the part that wanted safety, security, and no real adventure in her life. But the rest of her comforted her, saying that she was right, and to live in pursuit of a dream that has changed to fog and floated away is better than living a lie.
While she was thinking, the wedding march began its first chords, and one of her bridesmaids began to walk down the aisle. Lily didn't have time to say anything before she herself was pushed into place, and then, before she could stop and think, she was standing at the head of a church, having a minister drone in her ear, and seeing Rick smile happily at her. That smile made her want to be sick. She was a bad person, she knew it. But she couldn't do this, and she knew that she couldn't.
When the minister finally got the part where she was supposed to say "I Do," she took a deep breath, grabbed her left hand with her right, and slowly worked off a diamond ring. If she was going to sever ties, she might begin in an overly symbolic way.
"Rick," she said softly, "I'm terribly sorry about this, and I know it really should be too late for last minute doubts. You could probably even accuse me of having cold feet. But it really is much more than that.
"I know that you, along with everyone else, are expecting me to say I do. I was even expecting myself to up until about ten minutes ago. But then I realized that I couldn't. I couldn't agree to marry you, because I can't spend my life living a lie. You are a wonderful man, but you're not the one that I truly love, and marriage between the two of us would soon become an absolute hell. I would eventually despise you because of all the qualities that make you different than the one I do love, good qualities that should be rejoiced in. And you would despise me because of it.
"So I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I love you, Rick, but it's not enough to make a marriage work, and it would only serve to make us hate each other and ourselves. Someday you will find someone who is worthy of your love, but I'm afraid that it's not me. Goodbye, Rick."
With those last words, she took Rick's hand, pried it open, and dropped the ring inside. She stood on her toes, gave Rick a quick peck on the cheek, and slowly, never looking back, walked out of the church. This day would soon become a legend, since there had never before been two weddings of such proportion ruined in one day, but that wasn't what the guests at this wedding would remember. All who could see it swore they would never forget the look of heartbreak on Richard Law's face that moment when Lily gave him back her engagement ring. It was the look of someone who had just lost the love of their life, and,for all intents and purposes, he had.
James sat dejectedly, looking over the Seine River. There were a bunch of children running around, and quite a few couples locked in an embrace, but James didn't really see any of it. He was so upset by what had happened that he didn't think he could feel ever again. He was locked in a wave of despair so strong that he didn't think he could ever feel any joy in life again.
Suddenly, someone cleared their throat loudly, pulling James out of his dark thoughts. He didn't even look at whoever it was, and simply didn't really pay them any heed. He didn't want to talk to anyone at this moment, because he didn't want to see anyone who had the slightest reason to be happy. His Lily had left him for good, had chosen a life with that nitwick Richard over a life with him, and he didn't think anyone should be able to bear joyful feelings at this time. He knew it was an illogical stand, but he couldn't help it. Misery loves company, after all.
He waited for the presence to go away, but it didn't move an inch. He then began to shoot the person an angry glance, the kind that just screamed for everyone else to go away and leave you alone, but than he caught a flash or red hair, and just stared there, staring at Lily. She didn't talk at first, either. She just gave him this sorrowful look, full of despair and longing.
"Aren't you supposed to be getting married now?" he asked bitterly, much more bitterly than he had intended. He knew he shouldn't blame her for her decision, but, by Merlin, it hurt. She shot him a wounded glance, and looked down at the ground.
"I couldn't do it, James. I just couldn't. Not after you came in there and spoke to me so beautifully, at least. As long as I thought that you had abandoned me, and left me for some perfect pureblood princess, I could do anything. But after you came and talked to me, I was just stuck. I couldn't live a life like the one Rick promised me, a life full of wondering what would have happened if I had come after you today. So I had to come. And I have a bit of advice for you too, idiot." She said affectionately, and knocked him upside the head. It bloody stung, and James shot Lily a surprise glance, which she ignored while she continued glaring playfully at him. "Don't you ever, ever, tell a girl that you love them, and then walk off and leave them, James Potter. I mean it. I was ready to murder you for that one. After all, how was I supposed to tell you that I loved you so much I couldn't possibly live without you if you weren't there, hm?"
James, overcome by emotions, put his arms around her and pulled her close, whispering in her ear, "I thought you were never going to come back to me. I thought that you were going to stay with that prat forever. And so I came and told you everything that I should have said from day one. I was an idiot back when I made that bet, and I'm still an idiot now. I know I don't deserve forgiveness, but please, forgive me, and maybe," James continued, bending down onto one knee and pulling out his mother's ring from his pocket, "if you're really in a generous mood, you could possibly agree to marry me. Merlin knows I should have asked you before now, but I could never find an opportunity to ask you, an-" But the rest of James's statement was cut off by Lily putting a hand over his mouth, and pulling his face back towards hers.
"You know, James, you talk too much." She lectured him softly, and then pulled him back up to his regular height, told him, softly, "And of course I'll marry you. I'm surprised that you even had to ask. I would have never said no. I can't imagine a life without you, a hundred season going by without your voice, a million sunsets that I could sit and watch with you." Then she replaced her hand with her lips, and there was silence from the two of them. Somehow, during their kiss, the ring found its way onto Lily's finger, and it sparkled with an unearthly shine.
And the two became nothing more than another pair of lovers by the river Seine, rejoicing simply to be with each other, and reveling in the life they might have, once and for all.
TBC
Yes, that is a "To Be Continued." The story is not over yet. There are still about two more chapters to go, and I can be awfully mean in two chapters. If you doubt me, just think about how mean I was in the last one chapter of Of Notes and Bets, and then I have a feeling you won't doubt me anymore.
I'm terribly sorry about the overly long wait, but I hope the chapter makes up for it. They're finally together again, and I better be gettibn and then I have a feeling you won't doubt me anymore.
I'm terribly sorry about the overly long wait, but I hope the chapter makes up for it. They're finally together again, and I better be getting some appeasement points for that one. And I'm sorry about the overload of fluff and cheese. As Sirius would say, this chapter is so heartwarmingly cheesy that the cheese melted, and we all drowned in it. (By the way, I hereby state that I am not responsible for any deaths resulting from drowning in cheese.) ;P
You know, I finally felt sorry for Rick. I never really did before, but you have to feel sorry for someone whose fiancée walks out on him during their vows. So maybe I finally made him a person, rather than a rat. To tell the truth, I prefer him as a rat, so ya'll may still think of him like that if you should so choose.
Now, even though there aren't many chapters left, reviews are still welcome. I love feedback on how I've done, and just any last minute things that you want me to possibly put in the last chapters would be welcome too. Little stuff like throwing chairs out windows can always liven up the story a little.
Also, just because I am bored, and have nothing left to do with all the stuff in this story after it's over, (and the fact that it's 3 AM in the morning) I shall be handing them out to anyone who wants them, from actual characters (like a Rick to maim and destroy of your very own) to just random things that influenced the plot, like Lily's toy chair that hit poor James. So review and say if you are interested.
Now, to answer my beloved reviewers,
Stella Blu- I'm not even going to think about the spelling of that word, and I thank you for not murdering me.
ThelovelyladyLily- I refuse to claim responsibility for your head exploding. You are on your own with that one. Good luck.
Jersey Princess- After a lovely rejection speech, of course.
MAndrews- Aw, thanks.
Mimbulus- It was because you were too close to the truth for comfort. And, if you want, I could probably squeeze the BLAJBTODT into the next two chapters.
Under-the-Moonlight- Nah, Rick wouldn't screw up. Lily just realized what a prat he was, which works for me too.
Isabielle- Happy now?
KTSweep08- Sorry if the wait killed you. If not, hope you liked the chapter.
Robyn- Where have you been this entire series? Of course I'm evil. I pride myself on it.
Reina de la Noche- There is nothing wrong with corny or cheesy. I would have laughed too.
PinkyTheSnowman- Well, we shall have a formal presentation later, if enough people want the other stuff.
Lily of the Valley23- See, Lily can be wise (on occasion).
hpandfriendsruletheworld- Aw, thanks.
pristinelily- Well, they lucked out. The rest of us aren't so fortunate. Sigh.
Prongsie-Jamesie- I knew that. I was just confused because you've written ever single other review as Alexis, and then you morphed into James.
Mika Rieu- I know, it's sad.
Telwyn Dubois- Nah, that way Lily wouldn't be able to reject Rick and humiliate him in front of everyone. So, is this chapter good?
azn flame92- Angst makes the world go round. And, once you've hit the bottom, there's no place to go but up.
irefur1- Why are people just now noticing that I'm evil? This worries me.
Applesandsunshine- I was simply being more evil.
InLuvWitRupert- I enjoy it. It's fun. And Rick can't spontaneously combust. That's too simple.
Toodles,
Sally
