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PROLOGUE
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Lord Cynic: "Today's misadventures of me and the Minis is postponed 'til later."

Mini's: (in their cages) "Let us out!!!"

Lord Cynic: "Heh heh."


Mini Isaac: "Cynic doesn't own Golden Sun, Nintendo and Camelot Soft do."
Lord Cynic: "And it turns out, The E3 thingy... was a rumour. Meh."

Mini Garet: "Man..."

Lord Cynic: "Oh, and if anyone is reading this like the series I'm trying to make it... I need to clear up a few things. Firstly, the age: I will presume and assume that the Golden Sun adventure took 2 years to complete, from Isaac and Garet leaving Vale to everyone finally returning to find Vale a crater. Therefore, here are the following ages: Isaac (19); Garet (19); Jenna (19); Felix (20); Mia: (19); Ivan (17); Sheba (16); Piers (Lord who knows); Kraden (er... 2 years older than he was at the start, I'll say 54-ish). Secondly... um... actually, that's it. So... um..." He rereads his Babysitter Mia story and finds something that makes everything quite confusing. "Forget that I said in Chapter 4 & 5 that this is set 5 months after the adventure. It's not, that wouldn't be practical, especially for something that took 2 games to complete. Anyway, the second thing... second thing... oh, I forgot."

Everyone falls down in stupidity.

Lord Cynic: "Oh, that's right... haha... "The Secret Life of Us", the original show I copied the name from (without using the actual name), got axed weeeeeks ago. I just started watching it too... bah."


Chapter 5: "The comprehensive guide to Valean wildlife"

"Okay, he's coming this way!" Smothering their laughter, Ivan and Sheba scrambled behind some bushes to hide as Felix approached. In front of him, an oddly placed rope hung from a tree near Ivan and Sheba's hiding spot. As he walked up to the clearly visible rope, Felix became suspicious, especially of the Jupiter Adepts' lack of subtlety.
"Ivan and Sheba just aren't trying as hard as they used to," he muttered to himself. "Well, they won't be catching me out." Without touching the rope, Felix continued along the path - until he fell into a hole. He landed on the ground with a loud thump and cursed obscenely as Ivan and Sheba appeared above him, smirking malevolently. {"I've never seen a benevolent smirk, but..."}
"Well, well," Sheba said, looking down at the brown-haired Venus Adept. "We were using this to catch wild Vermin, but we've caught an endangered species instead."
"What's it called?" Ivan asked here, as the pair ignored Felix's constant cursing. {"Anyone got soap? Preferably the raspberry-flavoured type..."}
"Hmm..." Sheba looked down at Felix again, who had given up his threats and was now trying to scramble out of the hole. "I think it's called the Brown-Furred Valean Primate, the only one of its kinds." Felix helplessly slid down the side of the hole, and Sheba smirked again. "A very verbal creature with poor climbing abilities."
Infuriated, the now seething Felix began to form an Odyssey blade with his Psynergy. Sheba and Ivan looked at each other, and they ran into the bushes as the Odyssey slammed into the ground where they once stood. From their hiding spot, they watched Felix rise out of the hole using stone spires as steps. Once out of the 'Vermin' trap, Felix's face twisted into some kind of maniacal grin as his eyes scanned his surroundings.
"Where are those little runts?" he muttered to himself, as he started to use his Odyssey blade (which owns Isaac's Ragnarok sword... sorry) to slice surrounding trees in two.
"Let's get outta here!" Ivan whispered urgently to Sheba. "One of these trees might crush us!"
"Yeah, let's go," Sheba agreed, and they crept out of the bushes and sprinted back to town. Felix was too busy being an Adept lumberjack to notice that the Jupiter Adepts had disappeared until angry bees started to swarm towards him. "Oh, Zagan sticks," he mumbled meekly, and the Brown-Furred Valean Primate sprinted out of the forest as the furious bees have pursuit.

Evil Piers {"We'll just call him EP"} was halfway towards Isaac's house when he heard a desperate cry.
"Help! Pyromaniac girl on the loose!"
He smirked when a tall, red-coloured form appeared somewhere in the distance, followed by a significantly shorter brown-coloured form. As they grew closer, EP realised that the coloured forms were Garet and Jenna, the redhead being chased by a psychotic brown-haired/brunette (I guess brunette might fit the bill... I'm kinda colour confused), who was pelting balls of flame at him.
"Help - oww! She's go - ah! She's gone crazy!" Garet yelled, then yelped in pain as a ball of flame made contact.
"I'll show you crazy!" Jenna hissed angrily, and she propelled several fireballs into the air. Garet squeaked in fear as the fireballs started to shoot back down on him. EP laughed nastily at Garet's predicament, until a stray fireball singed his backside and sent him flying through the air towards Isaac's house.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." Ding "What was that?" Garet asked, stopping in his tracks. Surprised by Garet's sudden halt, Jenna skidded and collided with him.
"Agh!"
As they lay on the ground, Sheba and Ivan burst onto the scene. One look at the crumpled Mars Adepts had them rolling on the ground in laughter. As the Mars Adepts climbed back onto their feet, they glared upon the chuckling blondes.
"That wasn't what you think!" Jenna said angrily as Sheba and Ivan regained their composure. "It was an accident!" However, both her and Garet had red tinges on their cheeks and Sheba and Ivan nearly cracked up laughing again.
"Not what from I saw," Ivan said in-between smothered giggles. He made kissy-kissy noises and faces until he was silenced by a sharp whack on the head from Jenna.
"Don't worry," Sheba said snidely, as Ivan rubbed his head in pain. "We'll keep your 'accident' a secret." Before Garet or Jenna could respond to defend themselves, a strange sight caught everyone's attention. Felix the wonderful, wonderful cat... er, I mean the Brown-Furred Valean Primate was being chased not only by the bees, but the birds, bats and badgers. Everyone watched in amusement at the irony of Felix's situation: He could slash through dragons and other weird beasts, but couldn't defend himself against Weyard's lesser creatures. Since Felix and his pursuers transfixed everyone, Garet took this chance to slip away quietly. Felix and the animals had disappeared before anyone had noticed that Garet was gone. "Blast!" Jenna cursed, and the Brunette Flame Jaguar stomped off to find her prey: the Red, Porcupine-Haired Chimpanzee.
"Well," Sheba said finally, after everyone was gone, "I guess we better check on Isaac and Mia. Hopefully we don't have to pry them apart from each other." Ivan nodded and the two Blonde Trouble-Making Rodents started towards Isaac's house.

=

"You know," Mia said softly, "while I'd love to stay like this, I fear we might get stuck together."
Isaac and Mia, the Valean and Imilean Turtledoves, had settled onto a couch and were nestling in each other's arms. After a session of passionate kissing that defied the laws of human oxygen, they had fallen asleep briefly. However, now they were wide-awake, and they reluctantly broke apart from each other, also they still maintained intense eye contact. However, before anything bright and bubbly Yoshi sweet {"I tried hard to make that expression work... kinda"} could happen, they heard a cry from outside. As they listened, it became louder and louder.
"... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
CRASH
Evil Piers (unknown to Isaac or Mia) crashed through the roof of the TV room and fell onto a conveniently placed armchair. Isaac and Mia looked at each other than hurried other to Evil Piers' aid.
"Are you all right?" Mia asked urgently as the evil counterpart of the Lemurian recovered to find himself exactly where he wanted to be.
"Yes... I'm fine," he said, imitating Normal Piers' calm voice. "I just had a nasty fall, that's all."
"Oh dear," Mia said sympathetically. Isaac wasn't paying attention to any of this, because he was staring at the hole in the roof with a terrified expression on his face.
"Mum will kill me when she sees this," he whimpered. Mia wasn't impressed at Isaac's lack of concern for 'Piers' and she stomped on his foot. "Ack! Oh, uh, sorry, um, you all right, Piers?"
Both EP and Mia fell down in stupidity, and Isaac sweatdropped, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. After the Mercury Adepts recovered, and Isaac received a whack on the head by Mia, EP remembered why he came there in the first place (even if by accident).
"Oh, Isaac," he said, "I wondered if I could talk to you for a moment."
"Oh." Isaac said slowly, then he looked over at Mia. "Mia?"
"I'll be upstairs if you need me," she said, smiling (obviously it doesn't take her long to forgive and forget even the tiniest of things). Before she departed up the stairs, she blew her fiancé a kiss. The Venus Adept caught it in his hand and blew her a kiss back. She put a hand to her cheek where the imaginary kiss would've made contact and he winked at her. Blushing light, Mia went upstairs.
EP was making gagging noises while this was taking place, but he changed his expression back to serious when Isaac addressed him.
"What's up?" the blonde Venus Adept asked, but he stepped back when the Mad Demon mark on EP's forehead glowed fiercely. 'I thought that thing looked weird', he thought to himself, then said aloud, "Who are you?"
"I am... Picard!" EP said, revealing his true identity. {"Well, honestly, who else did you think he was?"} "I have to talk with a certain friend of yours."
As he said that, the golden ring around Isaac's wrist glowed malevolently. Isaac's appearance suddenly transposed: his usually spikey blonde hair stood almost as tall as Garet's and changed from blonde to silver; and his eyes transformed from peaceful and polite blue to a bright green that shifted his face from calm and friendly to hostile and impatient. {"For the record, it's hard to find a suitable synonym for 'changed'."}
After his transformation, 'Yami' Isaac {"I'm just asking for a butt kicking now..."} folded his arms in contempt and said, "Okay, what do you want?"
Picard smirked.
"It's been a while... Robin." Yami Isaac (or Robin, I guess) watched Picard as he walked around the room. Robin didn't care why Piers' evil clone was here, only that he was getting annoyed at being summoned against his will.
"I don't have to watch you do a marathon around the room," Robin said spitefully. "I'll ask you again - What do you want?"
"I just have a favour to ask of you," Picard said calmly, stopping at the doorway between the room and the kitchen. Robin's eyes narrowed further.
"I don't do favours," he said coldly.
"Perhaps," Picard said calmly still, ignoring Robin's unfriendly tone, "but I'm sure you wouldn't mind causing some... chaos." "Go on."
"Wel - What's that?" The two looked into the hallway to see Mia vacuuming upstairs. Robin didn't want to be caught by the female Mercury Adept, so he transformed back into the blonde, blue-eyed Venus Adept. As Robin finished his transformation back into Isaac, Picard disappeared, but not before saying,
"We shall meet again."
When Isaac regained consciousness (that is, his own personality... whatever), he shook his head in confusion. He noticed that 'Piers' was gone and his confusion increased. "I feel light-headed... I need a rest." He collapsed onto a couch and fell asleep to Mia's vacuuming.

=

"Yes, hello. I'd like to offer my services to your company." Piers (the real one) was in a telephone booth somewhere along the streets of Vale. Although he wore a calm expression on his face, the sweat dripping of his forehead his forehead suggested that he'd been having some difficult conversations that ended in frustration. However, Lady Luck was bound to smile down on him at any day... week... month?
"Overseas experience? Well, I have travelled around most of Weyard. I've been mistaken for a Champa thief in Madra... had to travel to Kibombo during the witch doctor's ceremony... I've been to Prox in the far north of Weyard..."
Long silence as Piers listened to the receiver. As the voice on the other end of the phone responded, Piers' eyes narrowed in disbelief. "I'm not talking fantasy!" he yelled into the phone angrily. "I've honestly been to all of those places!"
Another silence as Piers listened. Suddenly, his expression softened, and he topped looking like he wanted to Diamond Berg the whole telephone booth to pieces. "Okay, thank you. I'll be there in 20 minutes."
He placed the phone back onto its hook, looking ecstatic. "At last, a chance to prove my travelling expertise! Yes, ye -" Piers forgot that the booth door was closed, so he smacked into it while jumping for joy. As the Lemurian lay dazed against the inside of the telephone booth, he stammered absent-mindedly.

"... It's fun to stay at the... Y.... M... C... A..."


The Comprehensive Guide to Vale Wildlife Analysis

Brown-Haired Valean Primate
Strengths: Calm; strong; responsible

Weaknesses: Impatient; hostile

Blonde Trouble-Making Rodents

Strengths: Cunning; intelligent

Weaknesses: Annoying; physically weak

Red, Porcupine-Haired Chimpanzee

Strengths: Brute strength; loyalty

Weaknesses: Dim-witted; clumsy; Brunette, Flame Jaguars

Brunette Flame Jaguar

Strengths: Dominating; sly

Weaknesses: Temperamental; uncontrollable

Valean Turtle Dove

Strengths: Romantic; brave; polite

Weaknesses: Quiet; shy; Imilean Turtle Doves

Imilean Turtle Dove (imported)

Strengths: Kind; friendly; helpful

Weaknesses: Quiet; hidden tempers; Valean Turtle Doves

Lemurian Long-Winded Owl (imported)

Strengths: Wise, well travelled

Weaknesses: Dull; Unpopular breed


Lord Cynic: "Okay, time for a confession. At the time of writing this, it's actually 23/04/04, but I have deliberately kept this from being updated because I have a good excuse. Ready? Well... it's the one-year anniversary of my Golden Sun adventures! Okay, maybe that's not a good excuse... oh well. Good enough reason for me to pour out with a barrage of updates and a new fanfic, I reckon." Slips away quietly


Reader's Spotlight (RUN!!!)

"Black Demon567"
Oh, I've got a goooooood impression of what the wedding will be... or so the Golden Sun crew tell me. ;

"Joker's Specter"

Meh... I spellcheck on Word... maybe I miss on what they don't pick up on... oh well. This is a quicker update, roooound about the same length... I hope. Bada boom.

"Anime-Master7"

Hope you like this chapter.

"LilTyphoon"

All in due time, my friend... I place $5 bucks on the next chapter!

"Yugi the Other White Meat"

I thought about that. Really hard... well, as hard as I could in school, anyway. Still, maybe Mia can offer us a flashback... if Isaac wants to ask... maybe I should bribe them both...

"cheetah7071"

Ah, better late than never, eh? No worries. This is a quick update with a rather lengthy chapter, I hope. Cheers.


Next chapter: "How to catch a Red, Porcupine-Haired Chimpanzee, Jenna style."