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PROLOGUE
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The curtain of the stage opens to reveal a shadow on a spindly wooden chair. The light is dim and details can hardly be seen. The figure is apparently polishing a strange item with a cloth. The figure chuckles malevolently.
Figure: "Heh heh... my tool of destruction and chaos..."
The light flashes on suddenly and the figure wobbles on his chair and falls backwards onto the floor. He releases his item and the camera zooms to reveal... a rubber mallet with the logo Chupa Chup.
Figure: "Blllllllaaaahhhh...."
Voice: "Haha!"
Figure: (Groans)
The light flicks on to reveal Lord Cynic lying on the floor in a daze and Mini Jenna looking down at him mockingly. The rubber mallet lays dormant in the corner of the room.
Mini Jenna: "What is this thing?"
Lord Cynic: (¬¬) "Don't even think about it!"
Mini Jenna: "Hmmmmmmmmm..." (Contemp - BOP) "Hehe..."
Lord Cynic: "Bwaaaaaaaaahhhh..." (Collapses with swirly eyes)
Others: (oO)
Mini Jenna: "Perfect... time for some payback on Felix..."
Mini Felix: "CRUD!"


Mini Isaac: "Erm... eheh... Lord Cynic doesn't own Golden Sun... what? Oh, and apparently he doesn't own "Confessions Part 2" by Usher... huh? What's that got to do with this chapter?... oh okee."

Part 8: "Confessions, Crowds and Hippos"

"I have... a confession to make..."
"Speak up, my child. Let all your sins be washed away by the blessings of the Gods."
A young blonde teenage male sat on a spindly wooden chair outside a glass panel. His appearance suggested he was in a stare of shock and incredulous: not only were his eyes wide and bloodshot, and his hair sticking in more places than usual, but he also wasn't wearing any pants.
"Very funny, wise guy," the boy said, his eyes turning into slits.
Hey, just reading the script, and, y'know, improvising... hey, don't look at me like that!
"What do you wish to repent, my son?" the voice behind the glass enquired, before a fight between character and commentator could ensue. Isaac scoffed at the narrator, then, turning back to the glass, swallowed his pride and spoke up.
"I'm afraid that... that my mother will take over my wedding," he said after taking a deep breath.
"I see," the voice replied serenely. "So how do you really feel about that? I mean, are you sure that's all you're worried about?"
Isaac took another agonising breath and ran a tired hand through his untidy blonde hair. He'd been meaning to confront a fear he'd been experiencing for quite some time now. However, he didn't want to face himself with such a concept by voicing it out loud – he might risk believing what he dared not to in a thousand moons.
"I sense deep conflict in you, my boy," the voice behind the glass said mysteriously. "Let the Gods cleanse you of your sorrows, and repent your troubles.
"Very well," Isaac replied finally after heaving a heavy sigh. He exhaled deeply, fearing the worst that may come out of his mouth. Eventually he began to break briefly into song:

"These are my confessions.
Just when I thought my troubles were all dead,
My blue-haired angel had to go spinning my head.
These are my confessions.
Man I'm stuffed and I don't know what I should do,
I guess my wedding's in the hands of my mother too.
If she has to do it then she has to do it all,
I damn near cried when I heard Mia tell me all.
I'm so done, I don't know what to do,
But to keep on with all of my confessions."

Silence followed this, then a different voice then the previous two spoke up.
"Damn."


"Oww... I don't feel so good..."
"Gark! Sup fing's bin by bouth!"
"That's my foot, you dope! Get offa me!"

The band of fallen Djinni scrambled to climb off each other and rose gingerly to their feet. Each Djinni looked as disgruntled as the next, and some sported sore heads and sore backsides.
"Whose idea was that, anyway?" Fizz asked irritably.
"Not mine!" Dew answered quickly, anxious shift any suspicion away from her. The others stared at her strangely, causing her to blush nervously, but no one said anything. She lowered her head in an attempt to hide herself, and Flint decided to take the initiative.
"The Djinni go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah – what?"
Now it was the Venus Djinn's turn to be stared at, but before he had to explain himself two blurs, one brown and one blue, came speeding towards the group.
"I wonder who those are," Vine and Bane said simultaneously.
"Three guesses," Sleet said apathetically as the blurs got closer. Everyone sweatdropped when they noticed throbbing veins on the foreheads of the blurs.
"What's up with them?" Flint asked, frowning, as the blurs approached them. He stepped back suddenly (as did everyone else) when they stopped in front of the group, glaring upon then all. "Um... hey... Wazup, guys?" He shrank in fear when Tonic gave him an evil eye.
"Just what the heck did you think you were doing?!" she shrieked, sending everyone backwards, and even Granite winced slightly. "Did you not think that stunt could've hurt someone, and not just by physical scars? You could've hurt Garet or Jenna's feelings if you weren't too careful! You're all lucky there won't be big repercussions from all of th – Dew! What's wrong?!"
Tonic stopped in mid-scolding to rush over to the young Mercury Djinni who was sobbing in the corner of the group. Everyone gathered around her, fretting about whatever upset her. Tonic suddenly felt very guilty about her outburst and desperately tried to soothe Dew.
"Don't cry, Dew, don't cry. I didn't mean what I said. I was just worried; I thought everyone would get hurt if they were reckless. Wait, I didn't mean it like that!"
Tonic panicked as Dew started wailing even louder, and the other Mercury Djinni crowded around to give support. Most of them weren't impressed with Tonic's methods of consolation and scowled at her, making her feel extremely small.

Meanwhile, after surviving Dew's wailing, the Venus Djinni were gathered around Granite and concocting the next plan of attack. However, not everyone's ideas were intellectual.
"Let's take public transport!" Vine suggested enthusiastically. Everyone stared at him. "What?"
"First of all," Flint explained in a "duh" voice, "there's no such thing as public transport here. Second, even if we were to take 'public transport', we'd get trampled by the humans."
"Oh," Vine said, weighing this up and finally comprehending the dangers of his suggestion. "Right... eheh."
"Idiot," Flint growled under his breath, then said out loud, "Any other ideas?"
"I've got it!" Granite said suddenly, making some Djinni jump. "Let's teleport to the Elder's Sanctum!"
"And how do you suppose we do that?" Flint asked sceptically. "It's not as if we can do magic tricks and disappear at the blink of an eye."
"I've got that figured out," Granite said, elaborating on his idea. "All we have to do is to retrieve Sheba's Teleport Lapis. What?" he asked as the others grew incredulous faces. "It won't be that hard."
Vine and Bane pointed behind Granite, and slowly the Venus Djinn turned around to find...
"FLINT THE FIEND! GRIMY GRANITE! I challenge you to a battle to the death!"


Jenna's pursuit of Garet had suddenly turned into a public spectacle. Perhaps more surprising than the rows of spectators watching the brunette chase the redhead around Vale (looking much like the Pokemon in Pikachu's Vacation watching Squirtle and Marill's race), was Garet's ability to maintain his distance from Jenna. Garet was never particularly speedy in battles throughout Weyard (or even afterwards in Vale), so it was astounding how he'd escaped her so far. He only hoped his luck could hold on a little longer.
'Why are there so many people watching us?' Garet thought hurriedly as he ran. 'Don't they understand the importance of my mission to escape the clutches of this psychopath?' He paused in mid-thought to marvel at his extended mental vocabulary (after eating a dictionary that Ivan had fooled him into thinking was a stack of pancakes), but he checked himself quickly, remembering what those words out of his mouth sounded like "Why they watch? They not know how hard it is to run from Jenna" and struggled t maintain his safety from Jenna.
'You're going to pay severely for that!' he heard suddenly in his mind. While he was red from running, he was also white with horror - if Jenna could read his mind, he was in deeper strife than he ever dared to fear.
As the Mars Adepts re-entered the forest (amidst cheers from some spectators who thought they were running a marathon), conspiracies were abound in its entire greeny goodness... ness. However, due to their preoccupations they would be unprepared for what was to come.


Having so far fooled the people he'd encountered (admittedly only Isaac and Mia), Picard made his way to the marketplace. He ignored the odd stares at his Mad Demon scar, since he'd heard his goody-goody counterpart had landed a temporary job and he wanted to check it out.
'This should be good,' he thought snidely. 'He doesn't even have enough credentials to be bum on the street. I've got to see just what he's up to.'
Upon entering the market, the evil Lemurian scanned his surroundings for his elusive benevolent twin. Not even after a brief skim did Picard encounter the strangest sight to date thus far. His counterpart was fitted in a bizarre costume shaped like the continent of Weyard (a rather tacky job, mind you) and wore a very artificial smile on his face as he shouted to the bemused crowd. Behind Piers was a travel agency that must've employed him, as the sign above Piers' head said "Worldly Weyard". Despite the cheerful expression on his face, Piers was obviously frustrated and feeling conned by the tone of his voice.
"Fly to the tribe village of Kibombo and witness the extravagant Kibombo Statue with 'Worldly Weyard'! Brave the harsh conditions of Imil and Prox with Vale's number one (and only) travel agency!"
"You've got to be kidding me!" Picard exclaimed incredulously. People turned their heads to stare at him, but he cleared his throat and gave them the evil eye. Passers-by caught by the death glare mumbled quietly and continued their shopping hastily. The malevolent Lemurian snorted and walked out of the marketplace, away from the humiliating display being made by his counterpart – and right in the path of an extremely disgruntled Felix.


The Great Race continued its progress through the forest. For Garet it was a matter of life or death, for Jenna it was all or nothing, and her pursuit of him seemed endless. However, perhaps the weirdest sight of the day walked in front of them to impede their progress – in the form of four orange and beige hippos.
"What in Tiamat are those things?" Garet uttered in disbelief, stopping in his tracks once more. Unfortunately for Jenna she had no way of expecting this (who would?) and collided with Garet, sending them both sprawled on the ground.
In another twist, the orabeige (meh... okay, I'll shut up now) hippos sprang onto their hind legs.
"You two are under arrest for committing the heinous crime of ripping up the forest earth!" one of them said, and in unison they all pulled off their heads to reveal they were the Vale Police dressed up like orange and beige hippos. "Joe, couldn't you have picked out better colours than these?" he asked one of his fellow officers.
"Don't look at me," the third hippo from Garet and Jenna's left said. "My wife used up the other colours repainting our house."
"What, again? How many times is that?"
"Seven, I've started counting."
"Hey, not so fast!"
Jenna and Garet jumped – they were trying to sneak away while the officers were conversing, but the officer on the far right caught them at it. The teenage Adepts froze on the spot, fearing the worst.
"C'mon, down to the station," the same officer commanded, and with a fleeting nervous look at each other the Mars Adepts traipsed in front of the Vale officers.
"I'm too young to have a criminal record," Garet whispered urgently.
"Shh! Just shut up and walk or we'll be in worse trouble," Jenna hissed. Garet's head drooped, but soon the teenagers' spirits rose when they witnessed a large group of Valeans standing at the entrance of the forest.
"CHARGE!!!"


Lord Cynic: "That took me long enough... sorry for the wait, my exams are starting this week (well, next week if it's a Saturday where you are). I'm hoping to get good enough marks so I can keep writing my stories... cheers."

Reader's Spotlight

"Black Demon567"

'Cheers dude. I'll see if I want to include Garet's ill-tempered sister more frequently as the series goes on. That should make for interesting times indeed... and making something for Felix to think about... or fear.'

"Link015"

'Aha... I have a Neopets account meself, so I know what you mean. That Switch-A-Roo game's really annoying though... blah... Mia's evil side... Shudder Still, we'll see if she does have one... somewhere... someday...'

"goldensunobesser"

'I had a looksee at your profile before reading this. I agree with most of your couplings, and it looks like the "I hate Alex club" is still running strong... heh. But remember, you've gotta have confidence to write fanfics. See what you can do first, don't give up straight away, and write about whatever you like best.'

"Joker's Specter"

Glad to be of service to you. I've hopefully done better in this chapter, putting the paragraph separators back into this chapter. Hope you'll be feeling better.'

"Darkness-Aura"

'Hah... that is so like your Mia. Mine's a little more sympathetic... when she isn't sticking to Isaac like a permanent hump.

Mini Isaac: "Um... Mia... I'm getting kinda tired..."
Mini Mia: "C'mon, Issy, just carry me to the kitchen... then to the bathroom... then maybe outside... and I'll give you something special."
Mini Isaac: "Oooookay..." Stumbles into the kitchen with Mia hanging cheerfully to his back

Enough said.'


Lord Cynic: "Okay, now that's done with I should take hopefully 2 weeks at the most to update again... what?"