Mini Isaac: "How long has it been?"

Mini Jenna: "Almost half a year I reckon."

Mini Ivan: "Actually, it has been nearly half a year. Not even a Christmas fanfic... how pathetic."

Lord Cynic: "Hey, shut up! I've had... preoccupations."

Mini Sheba: "Like what?"

Lord Cynic: "I've been writing Megaman and Tales of Symphonia."

Minis: "Hmm..."

Lord Cynic: "Hey, I'm dedicating some of my fanfiction writing time to this now. Don't complain."

Minis: "... besides the fact that that's what you should be doing, why don't we believe you?"


Lord Cynic: "... Yeah, like I said, been writing fanfics on the above two. Don't kill me yet, wait until the chapter's finished. Although, that said, you wouldn't expect to see the fanfic finished either, would you? Yes...

I won't reply to reviews this time with anything more than: PLEASE DON'T HAUNT ME WITH SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS!"


Mini Mia: "Cynic doesn't own Golden Sun. Oh, and the lyric used is from Billie Jean by Michael Jackson."

Mini Ivan: "That reminds me... how many lyrics have you used without stating disclaimers, Cynic?"

Lord Cynic: "UHHH..."


Chapter 12: Billie Jean, broken backs and bucket begging

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" Felix exclaimed incredulously. "Piers, what the hell are you doing in that thing?"

Passers-by stared disapproving at Felix's light cursing, but he simply glared until they shrivelled up or continued on their way. Piers, on the other hand, was desperately trying to find an excuse for his get-up.

"Well, you see," he stuttered nervously, "it's... it's a disguise... y'know, so that... um... Ivan and Sheba can't play tricks on me... yeah, that's it..."

Felix looked him over, and discovered tiny beads of sweat dancing on the Lemurian's forehead.


"Billie Jean is not my lover, she's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son..."

The tiny beads of sweat break danced to the beat as the music played. Some slipped and fell further down Piers' face, but most stayed upright and did moonwalks. Some tried doing the robot, but failed miserably.


Felix shook the mental images of the dancing sweatdrops out of his head and confronted Piers again.

"That's not quite what I was talking about," he said slowly, his eyebrows rising. "I saw you leave the marketplace about 5 minutes ago. How could you be there one minute, then here and in a ridiculous costume the next?"

"Um... well... that is..." Piers pondered an escape route from his predicament. Then he decided to use the oldest trick in the book. "Look behind you, Kay's come back to haunt you!"

"Holy (censored)!" Felix spun around to dread the fuming redhead, but came face-to-face with nothing. "Hey, what the?"

"Have a nice trip!" Piers yelled. "Diamond Berg!"

"Hey! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!"

Felix disappeared into the sky with a DING, leaving a relieved Piers to stare after him. A wry smile spread across his face, but was briefly replaced by a pensive frown.

'What could he mean?' he mused to himself. 'Why did he say I was at two places at once?'


Isaac hurried through Vale - well, as quickly as he could with a heavy load on his back. He was still carrying an unconscious Garet, who would've weighed a tonne. Then again, it was probably because Isaac had become weak after the journey. No, no, that couldn't be it. Of... course not. He wasn't weak... he was just... newly unaccustomed to the massive load he had to heave on his aching back. Damnit!

On a side note, he wondered how time was actually passing. Did days go by, or was the time frame semi-permanently stuck in an eternal time freeze? Would the moon ever come up again? Or was the author too lazy to realise that 24 hours did indeed have to eventuate between chapters?

However, Garet's weight tilted Isaac back into reality. He grunted irritably as he tried to shift Garet onto his back to ease the approaching pain.

"Man, Garet," he gasped as he attempted to scale a small hill. "I swear if someone hadn't nicked Sheba's Teleport Lapis this would be much easier. I'm gonna kill whoever took it, if I don't kill myself fir

However, a sickening crack halted Isaac's progress. A freeze in time seemed to transpire, as he stood rooted to the spot, still carrying the hefty Mars Adept on his back. Seconds passed, then minutes, but nothing doin'. Obnoxious kids gave them both wedgies, but still nothing. It was as if they'd been semi-permanently stuck in time.

Suddenly, the present returned. And with it came...

"AGH! MY BACK!... OOOOUUUUURGGGGGHHHHH!"


"Must... kill... Garet... Must... kill... Garet..."

Mia sweatdropped heavily as she dragged a muttering Jenna behind her. The fiery Mars Adept had been muttering non-stop since being sedated, which raised concerns for passers-by who encountered the blue-haired young woman and her heavy load. Mia even blushed a few times when people overheard "I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish" about 3 times in 7 minutes. However, she was quick to hide it - she had to be, considering she used to blush like an idiot around Isaac at least a million times a week.

Ah, the sweet naivety of young love... Don't watch, don't look. Just pass me a bucket, I'm gonna puke. Images of love and fluffy sheep, are gonna keep me up at night and minimise my sleep! AHH!

"I wonder who that was," Mia pondered, her ears perking up at the thought that she'd heard someone. 'Must be my imagination,' she mused.

"I will shave his broom hair off and stick it on my wall," the 'unconscious' Jenna muttered. Mia sweatdropped again.

"I really hope she doesn't plan on talking like that all the way to Isaac's house. It might give Dora ideas about my dear Isaac's hair. Oh Isaac, I can't wait until we're married. It'll be so grand!"

Mia briefly entered her own fantasyland, and almost tripped over a log. In the process, she dropped her friend, who wound up bumping her head on some grass.

"Oww! That's it, you're dead Garet!" Jenna shrieked - although the ground muffed her voice as her head lay on the grass. Her little outburst awoke Mia from her illusions, and she gasped.

"Oh no! I can't let her wake up or Garet won't be the only one on her hit list."

Mia fretted, but suddenly an idea clicked into her head. Focusing her Psynergy, she created a light mist around Jenna's cursing form. Soon, Jenna's mouth went from cursing to light drooling as she fell asleep. Mia sighed, and then smiled contently.

"I'm glad that still works." She then resumed dragging Jenna to Isaac's house. She wondered what her fiancé had in mind - or how he intended to make contact with her. Hmm, some things still needed ironing out. Oh well, she loved him all the same.

Damnit! I still need that bucket! I'm gonna puke at all this lovey-dovey crap, hur -

TWANG

... waaaaaaaaaaah, that hurt! Meany prop crew!

(The prop crew snigger backstage. The narrator snarls, but the bucket wedged on his head prevents him making the desired impact. Instead, everyone backstage simply fall off their chairs, laughing. Gee, respectable bunch, aren't they? Punks...)


Somewhere, a brunette male was falling through the sky. Who says humans can't fly? Sure they need a little assistance, but still?


"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"... Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

Fizz nearly broke down in sobs as Dew repeated the question every three seconds. It was very unexpected to everyone else, who saw Fizz as the Jenna of the group. Then again, Dew was the innocent aspect of Mia in the group. As such, her innocence, naivety and clueless would drive many of her friends nuts. Poor Fizz.

"Where are we, anyway?" Tonic asked, hoping to shed some light on the situation.

"I... have no idea," Granite said, causing everyone else to face fault.

"What do you mean, you have no idea!" There was the old Jenna spark in Fizz that the others feared with authority. "How could you have no idea? Do you mean to tell me we've been going in circles for hours?"

Granite puffed his cheeks impatiently.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, everything looks gigantic from here," he growled, looking around him. Indeed, since they were Djinni, everything was at least 3 to 4 times larger than normal. "Of course we're bound to end up not knowing where we are sooner or later!"

"Whoa, Granite," Flint said, surprised at the rising pitch in Granite's voice. "Calm down or you'll blow a fuse."

"Shut it!" Granite spat. Flint recoiled at the resentment in his fellow Venus Djinn's voice, but Granite ignored it. "No one here had to come! If you've got a problem, go find your way back. Go on!"

There was silence while the irate Earth Djinn glared at everyone. However, no one met his gaze, and he huffed irritably. With one swift turn, he stalked off along the dirt path. Tonic hurried beside him, although she was tentative to try and make conversation with him. Behind them, the others tagged along silently. Well, for the most part.

"Have you noticed that he's inherited Isaac's hidden anger?" Flint muttered to Fizz.

"Yeah," Fizz whispered back. "As well as his lacking sense of direction."

"Could be worse," Sleet whispered, popping up between them. "Vine and Bane could leading us."

"Good point," Flint said, as the three heads turned to the tail of the group.

Vine and Bane each had one of Dew's paws (?) in one of theirs and were swinging her merrily. She laughed jovially, enjoying the movement as her body swung back and forth without a care.

"Wheee! Wheeee! Wheeeeeee!"

Vine and Bane grinned, finally realising that they had a practical use after all. However, that didn't mask their true intentions for joining the less-than-merry band. No one knew their real reasons, but they would be made clear soon enough. When that came to pass, Dew's swingers wouldn't be nearly as friendly with each other as they were right now.

For the meantime, however, everything seemed all right. The way things looked, nothing bad was going to hap -

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"DEW!"

Dew screamed as she was accidentally flung into the air. Everyone turned to glare lethally at the culprits, who laughed nervously and avoided eye contact with them. When Dew's screams faded into the distance, attentions were turned to her flying form. Sweatdrops were aplenty, and as quickly as possible the group hurried after her - wherever she was going.


Meanwhile, a sinister brown face poked out of some shrubs. The face was distorted in a bizarre-looking sneer, and its eyes glinted with malice.

"So, it looks like Flint the Fiend and Grimy Granite have some troubles of their own," it said snidely. "This is the perfect chance to strike!"

"Uh... 'Super' Sap, they're getting away," an exasperated voice said.

"Quiet, Queer Quartz!"

"... Queer! I am not queer!"

There were sniggers and titters within the shrubs.

"Shut up, "Gruesome Ground", "Howling Hail", "Miserable Mist" and "Spiteful Spritz"!" yelled the second voice.

"At least they're better than Queer Quartz," a small feminine voice gasped, evidently still chuckling.

"Stop it!"


I believe you can fly, brunette male! I believe you can touch the sky! I believe you can soar! Until you hit a tree, or four!


There were screams of agony and pain as a blonde young man rolled on the ground. Beside him, an unconscious, red-haired young man lay unmoving, except for the drool from his mouth and the bubbles out of his nose. Quite grotesque, really. However, the content in the redhead's face (regardless of how gross it was) was a sharp contrast with the piercing pain in the blonde's. Especially since the latter was screaming bloody murder and uncharacteristic obscenities. Ooooh, naughty, naughty.

It would take a while for the scene to resume its course. Especially when there came a fresh crack heard from the blonde's back, and a fresh outburst of obscenities.


Ivan grumbled and muttered obscenities as he scoured the town for ways to hasten the progress of Isaac and Mia's wedding plans. He still didn't know where Sheba was, what she was doing, or why she was making him do all her work for him. Bah, the drawbacks of being male, having to do all the heavy lifting, the hard labour, the breadwinning...

"And we have PMS, pregnancy, anorexia, and we get cranky in the morning!" screamed all the women in Vale.

Okay, okay, sorry. Sheesh. They really are cranky in the morning. Ivan pulled his fingers out of his ears, but the force of the women's outcry still rung through his head. It was so much so that he even needed to hold onto a tree to stop himself wobbling.

Soon, however, he regained his balance and continued his search for ideas. They were had to come by, however, especially considering that it involved Isaac and Mia of all people.

'Great!' Ivan thought bitterly. 'I'm one of the greatest geniuses in all Weyard and I have no ideas for wedding plans! Oh, the irony!'

But everyone seemed to cliche these days. Every fresh idea had been sapped from the brainstorm cloud, and barely any fresh concepts brew up. It was as if love had lost its freshness, or simply became too lazy to think of anything new. Just like several romance movies, but that was only a theory. The Jupiter Adept hadn't seen such soppy films in his life... at least, he wouldn't admit to it.

Ivan shook his head clear of those thoughts and wandered through the streets. Sideshows rarely came around anymore, which caused a major dent in his and Sheba's minor careers as ticket sellers for shows full of freaks. However, freaks is such a harsh word... yes...

Suddenly, there was a flash of lightning, coming from somewhere on the outskirts of the marketplace. It couldn't have been the weather, because there were clear skies all around. And Ivan didn't think Sheba could've done it, otherwise there would have been a scream of pain somewhere. No, it was definitely a strange phenomenon. But was the cause of it?

Ivan released his wedgie hold on an unfortunate youth and rushed to the scene. When he arrived, he came face-to-face with a rather unusual sight. A short boy with spiky silver hair was waving a strange toy around. It was unlike anything or anybody the 17-year old had encountered before. But it was clear, there was a strong aura of powerful magic surging inside this boy.

Only one rational, well-thought out, intelligent thought ran through Ivan's mind.

"Hey, who the hell are you?"


Lord Cynic: "... Be honest. If you know who it is, you know me too much. Meh... you'd think I could've made this better." (Eyes widen) "At least I updated! It's not like I've neglected it or left it to die a horrible death! ... Right?

I said I wouldn't, but I'll reply to reviews anyway."


"myname"

... I sense a Jigglypuff-like scenario with the Djinni and Garet. At least the latter two don't sing... I hope. I don't mind the ideas, but, like you, I don't appreciate being told forcefully how to write things. Still, most people let me go on with things the way I want to. Most... no, the minority doesn't include you, chill. The 5-day deadline was, sadly, a one-time thing only. I'm buggered if I can do this again in a week, maybe a month. Eh...

"Cricket-chan"

... Er, yeah. That was kinda made clear, but at least we got it, right?

"Lord Slasher"

(Maniacal laughter... which also turns into girlish laughter) ... This is your fault!

"Anime-Master7"

... I'm sure the Minis wouldn't dare let me break up our favourite Mudshipping couple. As soon as possible?... er... 4 months is all right, isn't it?... No?... Crud. (Runs)

"Linkz117"

Collect muses? I just found this lot on the street. Don't ask me... but I wouldn't advise you to do the same. Otherwise, you'll end up with the little monsters that I have. Shudder...

"Nightmare"

I could so tell you're into Valeshipping. Nope, no dice here. The summary clearly states Mudshipping and Flameshipping. Too bad, but thanks for the compliments.

"iamfinalfantasy"

... I am a Lord. Therefore, I Mortals. Muwahahahahahahaha! Oh, but I don't believe in him. I believe in Karma and the Force. Hah!


Lord Cynic: "Unholy Otherworldly powers will be needed to help me write the next chapter. I'm in a mess of phases: Golden Sun, Megaman, Tales of Symphonia, Chrono (Chrno) Crusade, Chobits... it never stops!" (Listens to CC's opening theme) "Damn, that song is so cool... if only I could see the anime/read the manga... ARGH!"