Disclaimer: It's mine! IT"S Mine...just kidding. All this is thanks to J.K Rowling!

CHAPTER 3 HP

"And so, little pumpkin, I figured it all out. What you have to do it hit him in three places. First, take you left hand and stick it on his chest. Act like you know, like you know, like, well, you know what I mean. Act seductive.Then, confuse him but punching him square in the chest. Then, block an upward F41 up his nose, make sure it is completely broken and then, take you lovely, er, foot and kick at his groin…you got that.. Be sexy while beating him up anytime a Death Eater tries to touch you."

Lily would have stuck her face into her dainty wine glass had it been a plate. Why, oh Why had she agreed to let Fred McIntish take her out to dinner. Why? Because, I was bored. And I needed a break from the Auror training. But why did I let him? All he did so far was tell her about her amazing experiences in all of the countries he fought in and how to use her female "authorities" as a way to beat up Death Eaters.Fred was Auror too, except he worked in the Department of Muggle Attacks. Lily, despite the pity she felt for him, could never get herself to stay up during his entire conversation. Nodding desperately at every word, she sighed defeated.

"And then, I took his hand, and I said, in my best Chinese accent: Ooo wahnt the fookin fish or not Meester Chao? And I took my knife and ZIP! I sliced his head off. Like That!" Fred took his little dainty La Jacque knife and slammed it hard in his escargot, something Lily found disgusting. Lily winced and then smiled.

"Hey! Wow , Fred, that was really good, but , um, can I go home now?" Lily immediately fell sorry that she had said so at the sight of his long face, but, he got up, gave her her coat and escorted her to her home, which was right upstairs. How cheap! The best this guy can do is take me to a bakery right under my flat? What a cheap way to spend our tenth month anniversary of dating together.

Fred walked her up to her doorstep and leaned up for a kiss. Lily sighed inwardly and pecked him lightly in his lips, not feeling the zing she felt when she was kissed by-she scrunched up her nose and removed that ugly thought. "Bye Fred. Thanks for the evening. "

Lily closed the door and sighed to herself.

Life was hell.