A/N: Sorry this took so long. I kept getting interrupted. shakes fist at parents and school Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers. They inspire me to no end. Sorry if those last chaps were a bit short. I was having a bit of a brain fart and wanted to update soon. So hopefully this will be a bit longer.
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Chapter 17: Revelations
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She looked back at the last line: Most often given is the meaning or representation to show true love.
As she read it a third time it struck her like a sledge hammer, Severus is my true love.
Continued...
For several moments she basked in the joy at that revelation. To have found her true love so clearly and know that you had one was a wonderful feeling.
But you can't have him, a cruel inner voice interrupted.
Why not? she asked the voice.
Because you can't stay here, that's why, it retorted.
I know. But what if Dumbledore can't find a way for me to go back? I might be stuck here. I could stay with him, she argued back.
But you know that he isn't married. And if you had stayed with him, he wouldn't have become a death eater. You wouldn't have let him. Plus you would think that you as his wife, would have been seen already somewhere else, the voice replied.
Okay. But what if I do go back? He wouldn't be any less my true love then either, she argued desperate for a way to keep him.
It wouldn't change that, but think logically. Since that is what you are known for. You will still be 18 and student. He will be twenty years older, and your PROFESSOR. He only knows you as the annoying know-it-all best friend of Harry Potter. The silly little girl he will be glad to be rid of come the Leaving Feast. To him you are nothing but an irritation to be tolerated until you leave. He will not love you. He will care nothing for you other than a student and muggleborn he is sworn to protect under the Order and as a professor. You will be nothing to him. Nothing, the voice said cruelly.
For long moments Hermione tried to deny what her conscious was telling her. She didn't want it to be true. She knew that one day she would have to return. Dumbledore was sure to find a way back eventually. She knew the arguments were true. Snape was, after all a professor and unmarried in the future. She knew that in the future she really was nothing to him. She couldn't expect him to instantly recognize her as Elizabeth Gordon his long lost love of twenty years ago, if he hadn't already. She would go back and just be the student to him again.
Her heart broke several times over as the final realization sunk in. She would have to give him up. But not until I leave, she thought rebelliously. I will make the most of the time left to us. If I stay there will be no harm done. If I go...I can only hope that I will have given him enough love to see him through the hard times ahead and hope that someday I can convince him to come back to me.
Suddenly she realized she no longer thought of him as the greasy Slytherin git of a potion's master. He was just Severus Snape. The man she loved. And that's all he ever would be for the rest of her days.
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The next day she was overjoyed to see Severus in the Great Hall for lunch. He had returned for the remainder of break. He was wary at first of showing any part of their relationship in front of Lupin. But when Hermione reassured him that Remus knew and had promised to keep it to himself, he accepted it. While he allowed the relationship with her to be open, it changed nothing between the boys. They were civil for her sake but both knew that war was still on between Snape and the Marauders, as it should and always would be.
The week passed quietly without any duels or arguments from any of the parties present. The couple sighed resignedly to the fact that they would have to go back to hiding in his rooms if they wanted to see each other, when the carriages started to arrive with their schoolmates.
Hermione and Lupin were greeted enthusiastically by their returning comrades in the Gryffindor Tower. They spent the evening catching up on what passed over break, Sirius telling the story how he almost got eaten by the hexed gift from his cousin Narcissa. True to his word, Remus never mentioned Snape or the ball, just as Hermione didn't mention it either. They did mutually tell the group that they had broken up, having decided they made better friends than a couple. Everyone protested but they held firm. No one noticed the sharp look James gave the brunette sitting by the fire.
As everyone got up to go to bed James stopped Hermione with a hand on her shoulder. She turned and seeing the serious look on his face moved back to the chair by the fire. Not wanting to be caught off guard she just asked, "What is it, James?"
Sitting across from her, he decided to just get it out in the open, "Why did you break up with Remus? Was it something he did? Did you fight? Is it because he's a werewolf?"
"We did fight but that is not why we broke up. He didn't do anything. I just realized my heart wasn't in it. I loved him as friend or brother, not as a potential mate. I couldn't just lead him on. We actually broke up before the holidays. He didn't want you guys to pity him so he didn't tell you. We talked more and have come to an understanding. For now we are just friends. Before you ask again, no, it was not because he's a werewolf. It was strictly the way I felt and I didn't want to hurt him."
Slowly James nodded, reassured. Since the topic was open he decided to satisfy his curiosity, "How did you know about Remus anyway? I know for a fact that he didn't tell you. Yet you warned me? How and why did you anyway? Why would you care about Snape?"
She hesitated for a moment before answering. She didn't want to lead into awkward question about Snape if she didn't have to. "I once had a professor who was a werewolf. I recognized the signs. I had noticed he disappeared on the full moon and looked sick. So I guessed. If I was wrong you would have done nothing when I mentioned it. If I was right then you would have done what you did. I saw Sirius and Snape heading outside. I know they never like each other and I knew Sirius was mad at Severus for studying with me. When I saw the full moon I panicked. I figured you would know how to stop Sirius and Severus before it was too late. As to why I care about Snape, no one deserves to face the fate he would have met if you hadn't stopped him. It is bad enough Remus got bitten but to use your own friend for a revenge plot that could have killed Severus is too much. He is human just like the rest of us, Slytherin or not. I don't know all the reasons behind Sirius' action but it was stupid and cruel. House rivalry and even school time enemies with the occasional harmless, reversible hexing duel are expected and acceptable, but out right intent to harm is just cruel. Whether you care about Snape's fate or not? I do. Besides, who would be my potions partner if he died?" she finished, jokingly.
James gave a smile in return then asked, "You were the hawk, weren't you? Are you registered?"
"Yes I was the hawk. My animagus name is Ráme, it means 'wing'. I wanted to help with out revealing my presence if possible. No, I am not registered. I hadn't full finished training and I wanted to be comfortable in this shape before I registered. It is also not something I want commonly known till I'm out of school. I saw you as the deer. I promise I wont tell I f you don't tell about me," she replied.
"I won't tell. I had a feeling you weren't registered. When you didn't come right out and say something I figured you didn't want anyone to know. Most people who register as students show off too much," he commented. He paused for a moment then continued, "You carried a message to Snape in your hawk form didn't you? That's where you kept disappearing to at meals."
She sat dead still waiting for him to make the next inevitable connection. She tensed in anticipation of his reaction. The actual think came as a surprise.
"That's it then. You're seeing him. You broke up with Remus to date Snape," he said matter-of-factly. "I had a feeling. That night when you came in late and talked to Remus alone, I guessed you were going to break up with him. When he didn't say anything, I thought maybe you had just had a fight or something. I just have one question. Why Snape?"
She sighed, relieved that he wasn't blowing up in her face or something. She replied, "I tried to explain this to Remus, but I don't think it worked. Severus is intelligent. He craves knowledge the same way I do. He understands. I like the sarcastic humor. He is not a push over. Remus is nice, but he is nice to everyone all the time. Severus is....the attitude makes the occasional niceness all the more precious. You may find him revolting but in his own sort of way I think he is handsome. Remus is nice, and intelligent in an 'it's good enough' sort of way. He is a great friend but not what I am looking for. Does that explain it?" She looked at him, eyes pleading for him to understand.
"Not completely, but I will believe you. I don't think I can ever truly see how anyone can like that gi...guy as a boyfriend. But then again, I am not a girl. Thank Merlin. Does Remus know?" he asked.
She nodded, and said, "We talked about it. He knows. He says, while he doesn't like it, if it makes me happy he will support me. I just hope that's true when this eventually get out to the school."
James mouth quirked in an ironic smile, and Hermione suddenly felt like she was talking to Harry. They looked so much alike. She snapped out of her musings as he said, "I don't much like the thought of our Elizabeth in the hands of a Slytherin. But I suppose, if Remus can support you when it was him being dumped, I can do no less. So I hope you find happiness, even if it is with Snape. I will keep this a secret if you want." He gave her a sarcastic, disbelieving look then stood.
She stood as well, as they both headed to their respective dorms. With a final goodnight, they went to bed.
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The weeks of January passed quietly. Hermione kept her promise to herself about using the time to the fullest. The couple continued to meet for their study sessions and extra rendezvous on the sly. To be more daring, they occasionally met in an unused class room on the third floor, instead of his room.
In the second week of February, they were in this particular room one night. They were caught up in the throes of a passionate kissing session and so did not hear the door opening. They sprang apart in shock at the enraged voice of Sirius Black saying, "What the bloody hell are you doing?"
Hermione's cheeks flamed red in embarrassment, not of what she was doing, but in being caught unawares. She glanced at Snape and noticed that he too was flushed, but it seemed in anger, rather than embarrassment. Her mind seemed unable to function at the moment so all she could say was, "uh...hi, Sirius."
Suddenly Black drew his wand and, pointing it at Snape, snarled, "Get the hell away from Elizabeth, you git! What spell do you have her under, huh? You slimy bastard! How dare you touch her! I should hex you to the next century for even thinking about it! What did you do to her? Answer me, you piece of Slytherin trash!" As he yelled he had made his way across the room and was standing a mere two feet in front of Snape, wand pointed right between his eyes.
Severus just stared coldly back up his most hated enemy. He remained silent, knowing that Black wouldn't believe anything he said anyway. He would rather be hexed and silent than explain himself to this moron. Besides it was kind of amusing to watch his face change colors as he got more pissed off.
When Sirius drew his wand back to cast the first hex, Hermione's brain kicked back in. She launched herself off the bench she had been sitting on, to place herself in front of Severus. The angry wizard halted with his wand pointed straight at her chest, the tip a mere three inches away, the words dying on his lip at the last second. For a moment he looked frightened by the close call. The curse he had been about to use would have killed her at that close of range. He dropped his arm, staring at her bewildered.
She let out a breath as his wand returned to his side. She had been a worried that she was going to be hexed for a moment there. Talking a relieved shuddering breath she said, "I'm not under a spell. Severus didn't do anything to me...at least anything I didn't want him to. You will not hex him because I won't let you. Everything you saw was completely mutual. He was kissing me, but I was kissing him. Don't you think if I didn't want him touching me, I would have found a way to stop him by now? The thing is it was my idea in the first place."
He just stared at her and sputtered nonsensically. The entire idea was gross. That anyone let alone his Elizabeth would willingly want to kiss that greasy git was disgusting. He finally managed to speak again, "That is totally sick, Elizabeth. What about Remus? Were you cheating on him? Is that why you broke up?"
"No I did not cheat on Remus. We broke up before break. It may disgust you, but Severus and I have been dating since Christmas holidays actually. Remus knows. As does James, who guessed when I told everyone we broke up. It is not why though. I will not explain myself and my actions to you. If you want to know why, ask Remus," she told him, disappointed that he wasn't more understanding.
"If you weren't happy with Remus, why couldn't you go out with someone else. I would have. I know for a fact of five Ravenclaws and half the Hufflepuff quidditch team likes you. Why did you have to pick him?" he asked, almost begging.
Silent until now, Severus finally spoke, his disdain evident, "Because it was her choice. Even an idiot like you should understand that she has the right to choose who ever she wants."
Hermione gave him a grateful look, which he returned. Sirius did not miss the byplay. He started to regret his hasty actions, but his hatred of the Slytherin went too deep to be set aside. In desperation he gave one final plea, "But why would you choose him over me?"
She sighed, "I told you my reasons for not going out with you. They are still the same now as they were then. As for why I chose Severus, all I can say is that he makes me happy. As my friend, you should want me to have what makes me happy. A toy that is bad to one child is perfect for another. To you Severus is not good enough, to me he perfect. So grow up and realize I have made my choice."
Both boys were looking at her now. Snape was giving her the most loved look she had ever seen on his face. Sirius looked like someone had turned his world upside down. Slowly he backed away from the couple, as they moved closer to each other. Giving them one last disgusted look, as they clasped hands, he fled the room.
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Sirius stormed into the Gryffindor common room. Seeing James and Remus playing chess by the fire he didn't wait to get them in private, he just came out and said it, "You knew Elizabeth was going out with Snape but didn't tell me."
As he hadn't lowered his voice everyone in the room was now looking at him, shocked. James glanced around and noticed the attention. Keeping his voice low he responded, "Yes, alright. Could we go somewhere less open to talk about this? This was not supposed to be public." He looked at Lupin who was eyeing his friend worriedly. If either of them said the wrong thing, this could only go from bad to worse in a heartbeat.
Apparently it was the wrong thing to say. "I don't bloody care. I was her friend. She could have told me. Why are you so special that she told you first? Or did she tell Lily and your precious girlfriend told you," he retorted, practically yelling.
James face turned grim at the implied insult that he was purposefully left out. Losing his patience with his friend's stupidity, he said, "No. I guessed. Elizabeth chose to keep it private. As her friend you need to respect that. Now sit down and shut up before you make more of an ass of yourself. How did you find out? What did you do?" Seeing the other students listening he snapped, "Mind your own business." They reluctantly went back to what they were doing.
Responding to the authoritative tone in James' voice, Sirius sat and said, quietly this time, "I walked in on them kissing. I accused him of putting her under a spell. I honestly couldn't believe she would willingly be doing ... that with him. When he didn't answer I was going to hex him, but she jumped in front of my wand. I panicked and stopped. I would have killed her at that range. I was angry and accused her of cheating on Remus. She got mad at me, and told me to ask him why they broke up. I told her she could have had anyone, me, Remus, I even mentioned the Hufflepuff quidditch team. I just couldn't understand why she would pick him over Remus or me. Finally, the git decided to talk and said it was her choice. Like I didn't know that already? When I asked why she liked him all she said was that he made her happy. That's not an explanation. I could have made her happy. She could have been happy with Remus. I just don't get why it had to be him." By the end his tone was almost pleading.
This time Remus answered, "Because he makes her happy. You don't need to know specifics. It would be like trying to tell someone what makes quidditch fun. There are superficial reasons, but on some level you just know or you don't. They are good for each other. I watched them over break. He never insulted me once. He was nice. I actually saw him smile once, when she came into the room. He didn't know I saw but I did. They understand each other. They are so much alike yet different enough that they can still find out new things about one another. As much as it hurts to see her with someone else, knowing that it could have been me, I will accept it. Because it makes her happy, and I want her to be happy even if it isn't with me."
James looked at his friend with renewed respect. It couldn't have been put more perfectly. The strength of character it took to let the one you love be with someone else and be happy for them showed a lot about what kind of man he was.
"We may never know why it was him. But it is, so you have to accept that they are together. Be happy for her, if not for both of them. She has found the one she wants. She is happy, so be happy too," James said. Seeing the groups of students whispering, shooting the occasional not so sly glance, he added, "I would recommend apologizing then staying away from both of them for a while. You just started what she was afraid was going to happen. It will be all over the school by the end of breakfast tomorrow. I suggest you practice your protection spells. You may need them by the time she is done with you. That is one witch I do not want to piss off, unless you want to end up like Malfoy sitting on your butt with a broken nose or worse in the middle of the Entrance Hall."
Sirius had the good thought to look worried. No one had forgotten the little scene with Malfoy. He shuddered at the thought of being on the receiving end of that wand. Taking James' advice he headed upstairs to look up protection spells.
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Lucius Malfoy was sitting down to his breakfast when a fifth year Ravenclaw presumed to approach his table. He turned to give a scathing insult, but stopped when she said, "have you heard, Elizabeth Gordon is dating the Head Boy. They say she slept with him so he would help her with potions, but then they started dating for real. Can you imagine, a Gryffindor and Slytherin dating? Gotta go tell my friends." She turned back to her table as those sitting around him murmured to each other passing on this information.
Malfoy was in a state of shocked anger. He thought he had gotten the message across to Snape. The mudblood was to be left alone. So what does he do? He bloody well dates her. The fact that they slept together may just be rumor but it still makes things worse. He'll ruin the reputation of Slytherin. She was a bloody Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake! What was he thinking?
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He was thinking that they were in for a very long day. He had only left his rooms for thirty seconds before he heard the first whispered rumor as he passed. With each group of students he passed, his anger grew. What had that bloody Gryffindor bastard said about them anyway? The rumors he was hearing weren't even close to the truth. They had never slept together. They weren't planning to elope on Valentine's Day. They had most definitely not been married over Christmas and honeymooned in Paris for New Year's. Where was this stuff coming from?
He headed for their classroom on the third floor. They had agreed to meet there if it looked like there would be trouble. After Sirius had left, they had discussed the outcomes and how to handle them. They had decided that if he told everyone, they would go completely public with their relationship. Severus had been against that at first, but Hermione had convinced him that it was better if they just told the truth rather than denying it, since no one would believe them if they lied. The plan was to meet in the room then walk to breakfast together. They wouldn't say anything but they would appear as a couple and wouldn't deny being together. Though if possible, they wanted to stop any outrageous scandalizing rumors as fast as possible. The one involving, whipped cream, chocolate syrup and a few R-rated themes definitely had to go.
Reaching the proper door, he entered to find her already there waiting. Seeing the disheartened look on her face, he closed the door, before taking her into his arms.
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The entrance hall was empty as they approached the Great Hall hand in hand. They traded one final look before opening the door. Every student present fell silent as they entered. Severus surveyed the faces before him. Some were curious, others amused. Some wore looks of pity, mostly aimed at Hermione, while others were openly hostile. These last were mostly from Gryffindor and Slytherin.
He watched her shoulders drooped as her courage failed under the onslaught. He suddenly had an urge to hex them all or at least shock them in to stupidity. So he acted.
To everyone's surprise, including Hermione's, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. Turning to him in surprise she saw the mischievous glint in his eyes and smiled in response. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. With reluctance they let go and headed to their respective tables, as the murmur of conversation returned.
Hermione sat down gratefully next to Lily and Remus. She was glad to see encouraging looks on her friends' faces. All, but Sirius, that is. He wore a gloomy expression that belied his normally cheerful nature.
Lily was the first to break the silence, by saying, "Why didn't you tell anyone? Especially me? I'm your roommate, I would have understood." While the wording was accusatory, the tone was kind.
Hermione smiled ruefully at this inevitable question. She responded by saying, "I wasn't sure if you would. I was afraid you would all hate me for dating a Slytherin. I didn't tell you specifically because, well, it just never came up. We weren't really ready to go public yet. In fact, if Sirius hadn't said anything we probably would have kept it a secret even longer."
They all turned to look at Sirius. He glared back before looking defeated. Staring at the table top he mumbled, "Imsorryioverreacted."
James kicked him under the table saying, "I don't think she understood you. Try again."
Sirius shot him a strange look, before looking Hermione in the eyes and saying, "I'm sorry. I overreacted. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just surprised." It sounded like he was forcing the words out. He suddenly got a trapped look on his face and, with out waiting for a response from Hermione, got up and left. The group watched him leave in silence.
Once he was out of sight, Lily turned to her friend. "Don't mind him. He just doesn't know how to handle this sort of thing. He doesn't apologize very often. He'll come around eventually. Until then, know that we all support you, no matter what happens. Even if it is dating Snape." The boys all nodded agreement.
Hermione could only smile in response.
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A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review!
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Chapter 17: Revelations
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She looked back at the last line: Most often given is the meaning or representation to show true love.
As she read it a third time it struck her like a sledge hammer, Severus is my true love.
Continued...
For several moments she basked in the joy at that revelation. To have found her true love so clearly and know that you had one was a wonderful feeling.
But you can't have him, a cruel inner voice interrupted.
Why not? she asked the voice.
Because you can't stay here, that's why, it retorted.
I know. But what if Dumbledore can't find a way for me to go back? I might be stuck here. I could stay with him, she argued back.
But you know that he isn't married. And if you had stayed with him, he wouldn't have become a death eater. You wouldn't have let him. Plus you would think that you as his wife, would have been seen already somewhere else, the voice replied.
Okay. But what if I do go back? He wouldn't be any less my true love then either, she argued desperate for a way to keep him.
It wouldn't change that, but think logically. Since that is what you are known for. You will still be 18 and student. He will be twenty years older, and your PROFESSOR. He only knows you as the annoying know-it-all best friend of Harry Potter. The silly little girl he will be glad to be rid of come the Leaving Feast. To him you are nothing but an irritation to be tolerated until you leave. He will not love you. He will care nothing for you other than a student and muggleborn he is sworn to protect under the Order and as a professor. You will be nothing to him. Nothing, the voice said cruelly.
For long moments Hermione tried to deny what her conscious was telling her. She didn't want it to be true. She knew that one day she would have to return. Dumbledore was sure to find a way back eventually. She knew the arguments were true. Snape was, after all a professor and unmarried in the future. She knew that in the future she really was nothing to him. She couldn't expect him to instantly recognize her as Elizabeth Gordon his long lost love of twenty years ago, if he hadn't already. She would go back and just be the student to him again.
Her heart broke several times over as the final realization sunk in. She would have to give him up. But not until I leave, she thought rebelliously. I will make the most of the time left to us. If I stay there will be no harm done. If I go...I can only hope that I will have given him enough love to see him through the hard times ahead and hope that someday I can convince him to come back to me.
Suddenly she realized she no longer thought of him as the greasy Slytherin git of a potion's master. He was just Severus Snape. The man she loved. And that's all he ever would be for the rest of her days.
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The next day she was overjoyed to see Severus in the Great Hall for lunch. He had returned for the remainder of break. He was wary at first of showing any part of their relationship in front of Lupin. But when Hermione reassured him that Remus knew and had promised to keep it to himself, he accepted it. While he allowed the relationship with her to be open, it changed nothing between the boys. They were civil for her sake but both knew that war was still on between Snape and the Marauders, as it should and always would be.
The week passed quietly without any duels or arguments from any of the parties present. The couple sighed resignedly to the fact that they would have to go back to hiding in his rooms if they wanted to see each other, when the carriages started to arrive with their schoolmates.
Hermione and Lupin were greeted enthusiastically by their returning comrades in the Gryffindor Tower. They spent the evening catching up on what passed over break, Sirius telling the story how he almost got eaten by the hexed gift from his cousin Narcissa. True to his word, Remus never mentioned Snape or the ball, just as Hermione didn't mention it either. They did mutually tell the group that they had broken up, having decided they made better friends than a couple. Everyone protested but they held firm. No one noticed the sharp look James gave the brunette sitting by the fire.
As everyone got up to go to bed James stopped Hermione with a hand on her shoulder. She turned and seeing the serious look on his face moved back to the chair by the fire. Not wanting to be caught off guard she just asked, "What is it, James?"
Sitting across from her, he decided to just get it out in the open, "Why did you break up with Remus? Was it something he did? Did you fight? Is it because he's a werewolf?"
"We did fight but that is not why we broke up. He didn't do anything. I just realized my heart wasn't in it. I loved him as friend or brother, not as a potential mate. I couldn't just lead him on. We actually broke up before the holidays. He didn't want you guys to pity him so he didn't tell you. We talked more and have come to an understanding. For now we are just friends. Before you ask again, no, it was not because he's a werewolf. It was strictly the way I felt and I didn't want to hurt him."
Slowly James nodded, reassured. Since the topic was open he decided to satisfy his curiosity, "How did you know about Remus anyway? I know for a fact that he didn't tell you. Yet you warned me? How and why did you anyway? Why would you care about Snape?"
She hesitated for a moment before answering. She didn't want to lead into awkward question about Snape if she didn't have to. "I once had a professor who was a werewolf. I recognized the signs. I had noticed he disappeared on the full moon and looked sick. So I guessed. If I was wrong you would have done nothing when I mentioned it. If I was right then you would have done what you did. I saw Sirius and Snape heading outside. I know they never like each other and I knew Sirius was mad at Severus for studying with me. When I saw the full moon I panicked. I figured you would know how to stop Sirius and Severus before it was too late. As to why I care about Snape, no one deserves to face the fate he would have met if you hadn't stopped him. It is bad enough Remus got bitten but to use your own friend for a revenge plot that could have killed Severus is too much. He is human just like the rest of us, Slytherin or not. I don't know all the reasons behind Sirius' action but it was stupid and cruel. House rivalry and even school time enemies with the occasional harmless, reversible hexing duel are expected and acceptable, but out right intent to harm is just cruel. Whether you care about Snape's fate or not? I do. Besides, who would be my potions partner if he died?" she finished, jokingly.
James gave a smile in return then asked, "You were the hawk, weren't you? Are you registered?"
"Yes I was the hawk. My animagus name is Ráme, it means 'wing'. I wanted to help with out revealing my presence if possible. No, I am not registered. I hadn't full finished training and I wanted to be comfortable in this shape before I registered. It is also not something I want commonly known till I'm out of school. I saw you as the deer. I promise I wont tell I f you don't tell about me," she replied.
"I won't tell. I had a feeling you weren't registered. When you didn't come right out and say something I figured you didn't want anyone to know. Most people who register as students show off too much," he commented. He paused for a moment then continued, "You carried a message to Snape in your hawk form didn't you? That's where you kept disappearing to at meals."
She sat dead still waiting for him to make the next inevitable connection. She tensed in anticipation of his reaction. The actual think came as a surprise.
"That's it then. You're seeing him. You broke up with Remus to date Snape," he said matter-of-factly. "I had a feeling. That night when you came in late and talked to Remus alone, I guessed you were going to break up with him. When he didn't say anything, I thought maybe you had just had a fight or something. I just have one question. Why Snape?"
She sighed, relieved that he wasn't blowing up in her face or something. She replied, "I tried to explain this to Remus, but I don't think it worked. Severus is intelligent. He craves knowledge the same way I do. He understands. I like the sarcastic humor. He is not a push over. Remus is nice, but he is nice to everyone all the time. Severus is....the attitude makes the occasional niceness all the more precious. You may find him revolting but in his own sort of way I think he is handsome. Remus is nice, and intelligent in an 'it's good enough' sort of way. He is a great friend but not what I am looking for. Does that explain it?" She looked at him, eyes pleading for him to understand.
"Not completely, but I will believe you. I don't think I can ever truly see how anyone can like that gi...guy as a boyfriend. But then again, I am not a girl. Thank Merlin. Does Remus know?" he asked.
She nodded, and said, "We talked about it. He knows. He says, while he doesn't like it, if it makes me happy he will support me. I just hope that's true when this eventually get out to the school."
James mouth quirked in an ironic smile, and Hermione suddenly felt like she was talking to Harry. They looked so much alike. She snapped out of her musings as he said, "I don't much like the thought of our Elizabeth in the hands of a Slytherin. But I suppose, if Remus can support you when it was him being dumped, I can do no less. So I hope you find happiness, even if it is with Snape. I will keep this a secret if you want." He gave her a sarcastic, disbelieving look then stood.
She stood as well, as they both headed to their respective dorms. With a final goodnight, they went to bed.
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The weeks of January passed quietly. Hermione kept her promise to herself about using the time to the fullest. The couple continued to meet for their study sessions and extra rendezvous on the sly. To be more daring, they occasionally met in an unused class room on the third floor, instead of his room.
In the second week of February, they were in this particular room one night. They were caught up in the throes of a passionate kissing session and so did not hear the door opening. They sprang apart in shock at the enraged voice of Sirius Black saying, "What the bloody hell are you doing?"
Hermione's cheeks flamed red in embarrassment, not of what she was doing, but in being caught unawares. She glanced at Snape and noticed that he too was flushed, but it seemed in anger, rather than embarrassment. Her mind seemed unable to function at the moment so all she could say was, "uh...hi, Sirius."
Suddenly Black drew his wand and, pointing it at Snape, snarled, "Get the hell away from Elizabeth, you git! What spell do you have her under, huh? You slimy bastard! How dare you touch her! I should hex you to the next century for even thinking about it! What did you do to her? Answer me, you piece of Slytherin trash!" As he yelled he had made his way across the room and was standing a mere two feet in front of Snape, wand pointed right between his eyes.
Severus just stared coldly back up his most hated enemy. He remained silent, knowing that Black wouldn't believe anything he said anyway. He would rather be hexed and silent than explain himself to this moron. Besides it was kind of amusing to watch his face change colors as he got more pissed off.
When Sirius drew his wand back to cast the first hex, Hermione's brain kicked back in. She launched herself off the bench she had been sitting on, to place herself in front of Severus. The angry wizard halted with his wand pointed straight at her chest, the tip a mere three inches away, the words dying on his lip at the last second. For a moment he looked frightened by the close call. The curse he had been about to use would have killed her at that close of range. He dropped his arm, staring at her bewildered.
She let out a breath as his wand returned to his side. She had been a worried that she was going to be hexed for a moment there. Talking a relieved shuddering breath she said, "I'm not under a spell. Severus didn't do anything to me...at least anything I didn't want him to. You will not hex him because I won't let you. Everything you saw was completely mutual. He was kissing me, but I was kissing him. Don't you think if I didn't want him touching me, I would have found a way to stop him by now? The thing is it was my idea in the first place."
He just stared at her and sputtered nonsensically. The entire idea was gross. That anyone let alone his Elizabeth would willingly want to kiss that greasy git was disgusting. He finally managed to speak again, "That is totally sick, Elizabeth. What about Remus? Were you cheating on him? Is that why you broke up?"
"No I did not cheat on Remus. We broke up before break. It may disgust you, but Severus and I have been dating since Christmas holidays actually. Remus knows. As does James, who guessed when I told everyone we broke up. It is not why though. I will not explain myself and my actions to you. If you want to know why, ask Remus," she told him, disappointed that he wasn't more understanding.
"If you weren't happy with Remus, why couldn't you go out with someone else. I would have. I know for a fact of five Ravenclaws and half the Hufflepuff quidditch team likes you. Why did you have to pick him?" he asked, almost begging.
Silent until now, Severus finally spoke, his disdain evident, "Because it was her choice. Even an idiot like you should understand that she has the right to choose who ever she wants."
Hermione gave him a grateful look, which he returned. Sirius did not miss the byplay. He started to regret his hasty actions, but his hatred of the Slytherin went too deep to be set aside. In desperation he gave one final plea, "But why would you choose him over me?"
She sighed, "I told you my reasons for not going out with you. They are still the same now as they were then. As for why I chose Severus, all I can say is that he makes me happy. As my friend, you should want me to have what makes me happy. A toy that is bad to one child is perfect for another. To you Severus is not good enough, to me he perfect. So grow up and realize I have made my choice."
Both boys were looking at her now. Snape was giving her the most loved look she had ever seen on his face. Sirius looked like someone had turned his world upside down. Slowly he backed away from the couple, as they moved closer to each other. Giving them one last disgusted look, as they clasped hands, he fled the room.
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Sirius stormed into the Gryffindor common room. Seeing James and Remus playing chess by the fire he didn't wait to get them in private, he just came out and said it, "You knew Elizabeth was going out with Snape but didn't tell me."
As he hadn't lowered his voice everyone in the room was now looking at him, shocked. James glanced around and noticed the attention. Keeping his voice low he responded, "Yes, alright. Could we go somewhere less open to talk about this? This was not supposed to be public." He looked at Lupin who was eyeing his friend worriedly. If either of them said the wrong thing, this could only go from bad to worse in a heartbeat.
Apparently it was the wrong thing to say. "I don't bloody care. I was her friend. She could have told me. Why are you so special that she told you first? Or did she tell Lily and your precious girlfriend told you," he retorted, practically yelling.
James face turned grim at the implied insult that he was purposefully left out. Losing his patience with his friend's stupidity, he said, "No. I guessed. Elizabeth chose to keep it private. As her friend you need to respect that. Now sit down and shut up before you make more of an ass of yourself. How did you find out? What did you do?" Seeing the other students listening he snapped, "Mind your own business." They reluctantly went back to what they were doing.
Responding to the authoritative tone in James' voice, Sirius sat and said, quietly this time, "I walked in on them kissing. I accused him of putting her under a spell. I honestly couldn't believe she would willingly be doing ... that with him. When he didn't answer I was going to hex him, but she jumped in front of my wand. I panicked and stopped. I would have killed her at that range. I was angry and accused her of cheating on Remus. She got mad at me, and told me to ask him why they broke up. I told her she could have had anyone, me, Remus, I even mentioned the Hufflepuff quidditch team. I just couldn't understand why she would pick him over Remus or me. Finally, the git decided to talk and said it was her choice. Like I didn't know that already? When I asked why she liked him all she said was that he made her happy. That's not an explanation. I could have made her happy. She could have been happy with Remus. I just don't get why it had to be him." By the end his tone was almost pleading.
This time Remus answered, "Because he makes her happy. You don't need to know specifics. It would be like trying to tell someone what makes quidditch fun. There are superficial reasons, but on some level you just know or you don't. They are good for each other. I watched them over break. He never insulted me once. He was nice. I actually saw him smile once, when she came into the room. He didn't know I saw but I did. They understand each other. They are so much alike yet different enough that they can still find out new things about one another. As much as it hurts to see her with someone else, knowing that it could have been me, I will accept it. Because it makes her happy, and I want her to be happy even if it isn't with me."
James looked at his friend with renewed respect. It couldn't have been put more perfectly. The strength of character it took to let the one you love be with someone else and be happy for them showed a lot about what kind of man he was.
"We may never know why it was him. But it is, so you have to accept that they are together. Be happy for her, if not for both of them. She has found the one she wants. She is happy, so be happy too," James said. Seeing the groups of students whispering, shooting the occasional not so sly glance, he added, "I would recommend apologizing then staying away from both of them for a while. You just started what she was afraid was going to happen. It will be all over the school by the end of breakfast tomorrow. I suggest you practice your protection spells. You may need them by the time she is done with you. That is one witch I do not want to piss off, unless you want to end up like Malfoy sitting on your butt with a broken nose or worse in the middle of the Entrance Hall."
Sirius had the good thought to look worried. No one had forgotten the little scene with Malfoy. He shuddered at the thought of being on the receiving end of that wand. Taking James' advice he headed upstairs to look up protection spells.
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Lucius Malfoy was sitting down to his breakfast when a fifth year Ravenclaw presumed to approach his table. He turned to give a scathing insult, but stopped when she said, "have you heard, Elizabeth Gordon is dating the Head Boy. They say she slept with him so he would help her with potions, but then they started dating for real. Can you imagine, a Gryffindor and Slytherin dating? Gotta go tell my friends." She turned back to her table as those sitting around him murmured to each other passing on this information.
Malfoy was in a state of shocked anger. He thought he had gotten the message across to Snape. The mudblood was to be left alone. So what does he do? He bloody well dates her. The fact that they slept together may just be rumor but it still makes things worse. He'll ruin the reputation of Slytherin. She was a bloody Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake! What was he thinking?
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He was thinking that they were in for a very long day. He had only left his rooms for thirty seconds before he heard the first whispered rumor as he passed. With each group of students he passed, his anger grew. What had that bloody Gryffindor bastard said about them anyway? The rumors he was hearing weren't even close to the truth. They had never slept together. They weren't planning to elope on Valentine's Day. They had most definitely not been married over Christmas and honeymooned in Paris for New Year's. Where was this stuff coming from?
He headed for their classroom on the third floor. They had agreed to meet there if it looked like there would be trouble. After Sirius had left, they had discussed the outcomes and how to handle them. They had decided that if he told everyone, they would go completely public with their relationship. Severus had been against that at first, but Hermione had convinced him that it was better if they just told the truth rather than denying it, since no one would believe them if they lied. The plan was to meet in the room then walk to breakfast together. They wouldn't say anything but they would appear as a couple and wouldn't deny being together. Though if possible, they wanted to stop any outrageous scandalizing rumors as fast as possible. The one involving, whipped cream, chocolate syrup and a few R-rated themes definitely had to go.
Reaching the proper door, he entered to find her already there waiting. Seeing the disheartened look on her face, he closed the door, before taking her into his arms.
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The entrance hall was empty as they approached the Great Hall hand in hand. They traded one final look before opening the door. Every student present fell silent as they entered. Severus surveyed the faces before him. Some were curious, others amused. Some wore looks of pity, mostly aimed at Hermione, while others were openly hostile. These last were mostly from Gryffindor and Slytherin.
He watched her shoulders drooped as her courage failed under the onslaught. He suddenly had an urge to hex them all or at least shock them in to stupidity. So he acted.
To everyone's surprise, including Hermione's, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. Turning to him in surprise she saw the mischievous glint in his eyes and smiled in response. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. With reluctance they let go and headed to their respective tables, as the murmur of conversation returned.
Hermione sat down gratefully next to Lily and Remus. She was glad to see encouraging looks on her friends' faces. All, but Sirius, that is. He wore a gloomy expression that belied his normally cheerful nature.
Lily was the first to break the silence, by saying, "Why didn't you tell anyone? Especially me? I'm your roommate, I would have understood." While the wording was accusatory, the tone was kind.
Hermione smiled ruefully at this inevitable question. She responded by saying, "I wasn't sure if you would. I was afraid you would all hate me for dating a Slytherin. I didn't tell you specifically because, well, it just never came up. We weren't really ready to go public yet. In fact, if Sirius hadn't said anything we probably would have kept it a secret even longer."
They all turned to look at Sirius. He glared back before looking defeated. Staring at the table top he mumbled, "Imsorryioverreacted."
James kicked him under the table saying, "I don't think she understood you. Try again."
Sirius shot him a strange look, before looking Hermione in the eyes and saying, "I'm sorry. I overreacted. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just surprised." It sounded like he was forcing the words out. He suddenly got a trapped look on his face and, with out waiting for a response from Hermione, got up and left. The group watched him leave in silence.
Once he was out of sight, Lily turned to her friend. "Don't mind him. He just doesn't know how to handle this sort of thing. He doesn't apologize very often. He'll come around eventually. Until then, know that we all support you, no matter what happens. Even if it is dating Snape." The boys all nodded agreement.
Hermione could only smile in response.
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A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review!
