A/N: Sorry this has taken so long. Quarters ending and everything got in the way. So hopefully this is worth the wait.
A/N2: I'm looking for a beta reader. EnsignAbby bailed on me around chapter 3. I've been noticing a lot of mistakes and would like someone to check them for me. If you're interested email me or say so in a review.
Cherriebaby: Thanks for telling me about the errors. I like to be told when something is wrong. I thought the melting thing was original too. I got the idea from my friend. We were discussing timeturners and got to thinking about the MoM scene in book 5. Broken timeturners create a time loop, not sending them back. So I tried something else. I'm glad someone finally noticed.
Lolly6: Yes, Sirius is a lot like Ron. I made him that way on purpose. Thanks for noticing.
A/N3: Thanks to all the new reviewers on that last chapter!
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Chapter 18: Potions and Propositions
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"Lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered her cheerily.
He hasn't changed, she thought, politely refusing with a shake of her head. She sat back and waited for the headmaster to get to the point. He had summoned her out of charms for this meeting. She hadn't gotten in trouble that she knew of. She only hoped this wasn't going to be about her now public relationship with Severus.
Thankfully it wasn't. Though what he actually had to say wasn't much better in her opinion, "I've found a way for you to return to your own time, Miss Gordon."
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Lucius Malfoy fought to keep his stomach in place as he stood before his master. The obvious anger on the older wizards face wasn't helping the already instilled fear. He had just finished telling the Dark Lord about the last development with Snape and the Gordon mudblood. To say the least Voldemort was not happy about it.
While still human his voice reflected the underlying reptilian personality the body hid, "This is most disturbing news, Malfoy. Last summer you promised me I would have a high quality potions maker by Christmas. Yet now it is March and not only has he denied you once but he is now consorting with the very creatures which we work to eliminate. I had faith in you. You are one the most loyal, if youngest of my servants, but I seemed to have misplaced my trust. Is that true?"
Gulping back his fear, he replied, "No master. Please give me one more chance. He only needs to be shown the error of his ways. He is just....distracted. I need time to remove the distractions. I beg of you, give me one more chance, Master." At this, he knelt before the throne like chair, head to the floor.
He forced himself not to jump at the touch of his master's hand on the back of his head. His nerves shuddered at the command and threat in Tom Riddle's voice as he said, "I give you until the full moon of June. Do not fail me again, you may not like the consequences."
"Yes, Master," he whispered. He rose keeping his eyes on the floor as he backed to the door. Once out of the room he turned and fled.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Hermione could only stare at Dumbledore in shock. I can go home. I can see Harry and Ron again. I'll be head girl. I'll have my own room again, she thought excitedly. Suddenly her excitement left her. I'll never see the Marauders again. There will be no Lily to trade secrets with. There will be no Severus. No holding hands, kissing in the corners. No more arguing over the History of Magic textbook. No meetings in the Library at 5 in the morning. No more perfect potions grades. I don't want to go back, her mind wailed.
She came back to reality as Professor Dumbledore continued, "Yes it actually involves a potion. It has only been used once that we know of. Unfortunately we don't know if he actually made it to the time in the future as planned as he never returned to tell us. But theoretically everything should work. It takes approximately three months to brew. If you started this week you should be done by the week before the N.E.W.T.s. What do you think, my dear?"
Despite her melancholy, her intellectual side kicked in. "What kind of potion is it?" she asked.
"It was actually never given a name, having been only used that once. But among the ingredients are asphodel, belladonna, nightflowers, and time turner sand. The sand allows for the actual time travel. The rest goes towards pinpointing the time and reversing the backward motion of the sand. It is quite complicated to brew, but given your obvious talent in that area I believe you up to the challenge."
Her mouth was suddenly dry, all she could say was, "Thank you."
Seeing her face and guessing some of her thoughts he said, "I realize this may be difficult for you, Miss Gordon. You have made friends and are loathe to leave them. I understand that, but you must understand, my dear, while you fit in, you do not belong in this time. If you were to stay for years, eventually you would become sick and weak. The particles that make up who you are exist elsewhere at this time and would eventually be needed to form you of the future. Time would slowly kill you. For your safety, and to stop you from influencing events more than you already have, you must return to your real time. Do you understand?" His voice was kind, but a hint of you-don't-have-a-choice lay in it too.
Slowly, reluctantly she nodded. She did understand, she just didn't like it. "How am I supposed to work on it? My classes are full and we aren't allowed to work on potions out side of class."
The twinkle was back in his eye, he said, "Ah, yes I have made arrangements for that. You will be doing an independent study on potions, with special permission from the Potions Mistress. There is no set hour as the time needed varies with the stages. Some issues of timing will coincide with some of your classes so you may think of enlisting some help. You may use the unused classroom of your choice."
Shuffling some papers he extracted a few and handed them to her saying, "Here are the list of ingredients and instructions. Follow them closely. Timing is everything to this particular potion, as would be expected. Now, I believe it is time for lunch, if you would like to meet your friends in the Great Hall."
She nodded and stood. When she reached the door she turned and said, "Thank you for everything, Headmaster." With that she was gone.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
The knowledge that she was leaving everything she loved in this time took hold of Hermione over the following weeks. She enlisted the help of Severus, naturally, to make the potion. When he asked what it was she was honest and said it was a time potion and told him it was purely for the sake of seeing if she could do it. He thankfully didn't ask anymore questions about it.
Against her better nature she spent all her free time with her friends or Severus, rather than studying. She saw no point in studying for N.E.W.T.s that she would most likely not be taking until months in the future.
Her relationship with Severus also changed. She had taken into the habit of sending little notes to him. Some were short only asking how his day was or sharing a joke. Some were long and emotional. She felt like she had to make up for the love he would lose when she was gone, not to mention the love she would lose when she returned. She had no doubts that Professor Snape of the future would not love her one iota.
The weeks passed. The potion progressed and if possible her love for Severus only deepened.
Hermione clung to the happy memories and tried to forget the unhappy ones, which usually included Lucius Malfoy in some form. Since the public debut of their relationship, Malfoy had been the bee in her ear. He always seemed to catch her when she was alone. He would his evil rumors trying to break her confidence in Severus. Saying things like: Severus just wanted to sleep with her, or He was only using her become more popular. It was nonsense. She knew Severus would never do such a thing. He had never even tried to sleep with her. He was too noble-minded for that kind of crudeness. Privately, she believed that Malfoy was responsible for starting half the rumors she heard circulating around the school. She just ignored them all. She and Severus knew the truth and that was all that matter.
She still had fun, despite some of the nastiness. She often accompanied the Marauders on their nighttime adventures in hawk form. She acted as look out for them and more than once saved their butts from being caught by wandering professors. She traded kissing stories with Lily at night and listened wistfully to the red-heads plans for her future.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
One Saturday evening at the end of May, the couple sat in a chair in Snape's room. Seeing as how the chair was only big enough for one person, Hermione was conveniently sitting in his lap. They were content for the moment to just hold each other while watching the fire as it burned merrily.
Hermione was startled out of her reverie, when he kissed her on the cheek before moving to get up. After extracting himself from the chair he walked over to the mantle and took something from the ornamental wooden box resting there. When he turned back around, he looked suddenly nervous. He walked back over to her but stopped about a foot away.
To her utter shock, he knelt on one knee. Hermione reeled at the realization what he was about to do. And she was right. In shaky voice that got firmer with every word, he said, "I realize we have only known each other less than a year, but to me I feel like I've known you forever. You are everything to me. I wake up every day just to see your smile, to hear your voice. You are the air that I breathe and the blood that gives me life. You are my heart and you own it all. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Elizabeth Hermione Gordon, will you marry me?" With those final words he revealed the ring in his hand. It was a thin silver band with a princess cut sapphire of the deepest blue set in the middle. It was simple yet the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
It was what she always wanted. To be proposed to by the man she loved. Yet, she could not be happy, because she had to leave. It was in the wrong time. Why couldn't you be from 1997, she begged fate. She wanted to beam with happiness, yet cry her heart out that it couldn't come true. I am going to enjoy this moment as long as I can, for it may never come again. So she compromised by crying in happiness.
Severus looked worried. He had not expected her to start crying. He was starting to regret opening up to her and asking. He opened his mouth to apologize and take it back, but was silenced as Hermione threw herself on him in a hard embrace and fierce kiss that lit him on fire.
When they finally broke for air, her tears had slowed to a trickle. She beamed at him as he slipped the ring on her left hand, and then pulled her close for another kiss. This one was less fierce but just as passionate. When they came up for air again, he pulled her to her feet and they returned to the chair. They sat in blissful silence, with her head on his shoulder, and his arms wrapped around her. Neither noticed when the other fell asleep.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
In the first week of June, Hermione found herself once again in Dumbledore's office. She didn't expect this time to be anymore pleasant than the last. Though she had resigned herself to going back, she was still sad about it.
"Ah, good morning, Miss Gordon. Everything going well I hope. Excellent. Well, right down to business, shall we. We need to discuss how we will explain your leaving. It is not logical for you to switch schools again right before your N.E.W.T.s. And you can't actually take them as you are actually not a legal student in this time. Do you have any suggestions?" he said.
Here it goes, she thought, taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I had thought about this. It would be awkward if I was to suddenly leave. My friends would want to write or see me, no doubt. But they would as questions if I could not be found. Similarly as you stated before I couldn't take the test and there would be too many question if I just elected not to take them and leave after school. The only solution that I could find to these problems is for me to die." She paused to get his reaction to this statement.
He raised his brows, but looked interested as he said, "Please continue."
"I would have to fake my death. I was thinking a type of potions accident with my independent study. As a dead person, no one would try to find me if I disappeared. I wouldn't have to take the N.E.W.T.s. I could just leave without messy goodbyes or explanations. I hate having to hurt my friends, but it would hurt more if I just disappeared for no reason. Does this make sense?" she elaborated. He sighed. He nodded, and then said, "Indeed it does. As much as I hate putting the student through the trauma of losing a classmate before the exams, I agree. It is the only way to go. A potions accident could be faked. No one ever actually needs to see the body. The next question may be a bit morbid, but do you want to stay for the funeral? You could watch from an invisibility cloak."
She paled slightly and said firmly, "No. I would rather not. It would be strange. I couldn't see my friends sitting at my own funeral."
The headmaster nodded. "Very well. When to you want to do this? Or rather when will the potion be ready?" he asked.
"It will be ready by next Tuesday. I suggest we fake it then as well. Then make the announcement on Wednesday. I'll leave before lunch. I wouldn't be able to handle stay longer," she replied.
He nodded again, "It shall be arranged. Good day, Miss Gordon."
"Good day, Professor," she said.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
One week later, she found herself sitting at a table in the lone corner of the library. Wads of crumpled parchment lay around her. She glared at the blank sheet in front of her as if it was its fault she could think. She was attempting to write one last letter to Severus without telling him everything or making it sound like a suicide, but still saying goodbye. An hour and a half later she still had nothing to show for it.
Suddenly an idea came to her and she began to write. Thirty minutes later and two feet of parchment she was done. She reread it one last time then rolled it up carefully. She sealed it with a bit of wax then wrote his name on the outside. She tucked it carefully into her robe pocket then headed to their special room. She needed to say goodbye one last time.
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A/N: Hey! Glad your reading this. Please review. I must take the time to say this: a lot of the timeturner part of this fic was inspired by Serpentina's "A little of your time". It was the first timeturner fic I ever read and is absolutely fabulous. It is incomplete and will remain that way but is still worth taking the time to read. For a link see my favorite stories. So thanks to Serpentina for inspiring my love of this type of fic.
I'll update soon, I promise.
A/N2: I'm looking for a beta reader. EnsignAbby bailed on me around chapter 3. I've been noticing a lot of mistakes and would like someone to check them for me. If you're interested email me or say so in a review.
Cherriebaby: Thanks for telling me about the errors. I like to be told when something is wrong. I thought the melting thing was original too. I got the idea from my friend. We were discussing timeturners and got to thinking about the MoM scene in book 5. Broken timeturners create a time loop, not sending them back. So I tried something else. I'm glad someone finally noticed.
Lolly6: Yes, Sirius is a lot like Ron. I made him that way on purpose. Thanks for noticing.
A/N3: Thanks to all the new reviewers on that last chapter!
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Chapter 18: Potions and Propositions
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
"Lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered her cheerily.
He hasn't changed, she thought, politely refusing with a shake of her head. She sat back and waited for the headmaster to get to the point. He had summoned her out of charms for this meeting. She hadn't gotten in trouble that she knew of. She only hoped this wasn't going to be about her now public relationship with Severus.
Thankfully it wasn't. Though what he actually had to say wasn't much better in her opinion, "I've found a way for you to return to your own time, Miss Gordon."
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Lucius Malfoy fought to keep his stomach in place as he stood before his master. The obvious anger on the older wizards face wasn't helping the already instilled fear. He had just finished telling the Dark Lord about the last development with Snape and the Gordon mudblood. To say the least Voldemort was not happy about it.
While still human his voice reflected the underlying reptilian personality the body hid, "This is most disturbing news, Malfoy. Last summer you promised me I would have a high quality potions maker by Christmas. Yet now it is March and not only has he denied you once but he is now consorting with the very creatures which we work to eliminate. I had faith in you. You are one the most loyal, if youngest of my servants, but I seemed to have misplaced my trust. Is that true?"
Gulping back his fear, he replied, "No master. Please give me one more chance. He only needs to be shown the error of his ways. He is just....distracted. I need time to remove the distractions. I beg of you, give me one more chance, Master." At this, he knelt before the throne like chair, head to the floor.
He forced himself not to jump at the touch of his master's hand on the back of his head. His nerves shuddered at the command and threat in Tom Riddle's voice as he said, "I give you until the full moon of June. Do not fail me again, you may not like the consequences."
"Yes, Master," he whispered. He rose keeping his eyes on the floor as he backed to the door. Once out of the room he turned and fled.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Hermione could only stare at Dumbledore in shock. I can go home. I can see Harry and Ron again. I'll be head girl. I'll have my own room again, she thought excitedly. Suddenly her excitement left her. I'll never see the Marauders again. There will be no Lily to trade secrets with. There will be no Severus. No holding hands, kissing in the corners. No more arguing over the History of Magic textbook. No meetings in the Library at 5 in the morning. No more perfect potions grades. I don't want to go back, her mind wailed.
She came back to reality as Professor Dumbledore continued, "Yes it actually involves a potion. It has only been used once that we know of. Unfortunately we don't know if he actually made it to the time in the future as planned as he never returned to tell us. But theoretically everything should work. It takes approximately three months to brew. If you started this week you should be done by the week before the N.E.W.T.s. What do you think, my dear?"
Despite her melancholy, her intellectual side kicked in. "What kind of potion is it?" she asked.
"It was actually never given a name, having been only used that once. But among the ingredients are asphodel, belladonna, nightflowers, and time turner sand. The sand allows for the actual time travel. The rest goes towards pinpointing the time and reversing the backward motion of the sand. It is quite complicated to brew, but given your obvious talent in that area I believe you up to the challenge."
Her mouth was suddenly dry, all she could say was, "Thank you."
Seeing her face and guessing some of her thoughts he said, "I realize this may be difficult for you, Miss Gordon. You have made friends and are loathe to leave them. I understand that, but you must understand, my dear, while you fit in, you do not belong in this time. If you were to stay for years, eventually you would become sick and weak. The particles that make up who you are exist elsewhere at this time and would eventually be needed to form you of the future. Time would slowly kill you. For your safety, and to stop you from influencing events more than you already have, you must return to your real time. Do you understand?" His voice was kind, but a hint of you-don't-have-a-choice lay in it too.
Slowly, reluctantly she nodded. She did understand, she just didn't like it. "How am I supposed to work on it? My classes are full and we aren't allowed to work on potions out side of class."
The twinkle was back in his eye, he said, "Ah, yes I have made arrangements for that. You will be doing an independent study on potions, with special permission from the Potions Mistress. There is no set hour as the time needed varies with the stages. Some issues of timing will coincide with some of your classes so you may think of enlisting some help. You may use the unused classroom of your choice."
Shuffling some papers he extracted a few and handed them to her saying, "Here are the list of ingredients and instructions. Follow them closely. Timing is everything to this particular potion, as would be expected. Now, I believe it is time for lunch, if you would like to meet your friends in the Great Hall."
She nodded and stood. When she reached the door she turned and said, "Thank you for everything, Headmaster." With that she was gone.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
The knowledge that she was leaving everything she loved in this time took hold of Hermione over the following weeks. She enlisted the help of Severus, naturally, to make the potion. When he asked what it was she was honest and said it was a time potion and told him it was purely for the sake of seeing if she could do it. He thankfully didn't ask anymore questions about it.
Against her better nature she spent all her free time with her friends or Severus, rather than studying. She saw no point in studying for N.E.W.T.s that she would most likely not be taking until months in the future.
Her relationship with Severus also changed. She had taken into the habit of sending little notes to him. Some were short only asking how his day was or sharing a joke. Some were long and emotional. She felt like she had to make up for the love he would lose when she was gone, not to mention the love she would lose when she returned. She had no doubts that Professor Snape of the future would not love her one iota.
The weeks passed. The potion progressed and if possible her love for Severus only deepened.
Hermione clung to the happy memories and tried to forget the unhappy ones, which usually included Lucius Malfoy in some form. Since the public debut of their relationship, Malfoy had been the bee in her ear. He always seemed to catch her when she was alone. He would his evil rumors trying to break her confidence in Severus. Saying things like: Severus just wanted to sleep with her, or He was only using her become more popular. It was nonsense. She knew Severus would never do such a thing. He had never even tried to sleep with her. He was too noble-minded for that kind of crudeness. Privately, she believed that Malfoy was responsible for starting half the rumors she heard circulating around the school. She just ignored them all. She and Severus knew the truth and that was all that matter.
She still had fun, despite some of the nastiness. She often accompanied the Marauders on their nighttime adventures in hawk form. She acted as look out for them and more than once saved their butts from being caught by wandering professors. She traded kissing stories with Lily at night and listened wistfully to the red-heads plans for her future.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
One Saturday evening at the end of May, the couple sat in a chair in Snape's room. Seeing as how the chair was only big enough for one person, Hermione was conveniently sitting in his lap. They were content for the moment to just hold each other while watching the fire as it burned merrily.
Hermione was startled out of her reverie, when he kissed her on the cheek before moving to get up. After extracting himself from the chair he walked over to the mantle and took something from the ornamental wooden box resting there. When he turned back around, he looked suddenly nervous. He walked back over to her but stopped about a foot away.
To her utter shock, he knelt on one knee. Hermione reeled at the realization what he was about to do. And she was right. In shaky voice that got firmer with every word, he said, "I realize we have only known each other less than a year, but to me I feel like I've known you forever. You are everything to me. I wake up every day just to see your smile, to hear your voice. You are the air that I breathe and the blood that gives me life. You are my heart and you own it all. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Elizabeth Hermione Gordon, will you marry me?" With those final words he revealed the ring in his hand. It was a thin silver band with a princess cut sapphire of the deepest blue set in the middle. It was simple yet the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
It was what she always wanted. To be proposed to by the man she loved. Yet, she could not be happy, because she had to leave. It was in the wrong time. Why couldn't you be from 1997, she begged fate. She wanted to beam with happiness, yet cry her heart out that it couldn't come true. I am going to enjoy this moment as long as I can, for it may never come again. So she compromised by crying in happiness.
Severus looked worried. He had not expected her to start crying. He was starting to regret opening up to her and asking. He opened his mouth to apologize and take it back, but was silenced as Hermione threw herself on him in a hard embrace and fierce kiss that lit him on fire.
When they finally broke for air, her tears had slowed to a trickle. She beamed at him as he slipped the ring on her left hand, and then pulled her close for another kiss. This one was less fierce but just as passionate. When they came up for air again, he pulled her to her feet and they returned to the chair. They sat in blissful silence, with her head on his shoulder, and his arms wrapped around her. Neither noticed when the other fell asleep.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
In the first week of June, Hermione found herself once again in Dumbledore's office. She didn't expect this time to be anymore pleasant than the last. Though she had resigned herself to going back, she was still sad about it.
"Ah, good morning, Miss Gordon. Everything going well I hope. Excellent. Well, right down to business, shall we. We need to discuss how we will explain your leaving. It is not logical for you to switch schools again right before your N.E.W.T.s. And you can't actually take them as you are actually not a legal student in this time. Do you have any suggestions?" he said.
Here it goes, she thought, taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I had thought about this. It would be awkward if I was to suddenly leave. My friends would want to write or see me, no doubt. But they would as questions if I could not be found. Similarly as you stated before I couldn't take the test and there would be too many question if I just elected not to take them and leave after school. The only solution that I could find to these problems is for me to die." She paused to get his reaction to this statement.
He raised his brows, but looked interested as he said, "Please continue."
"I would have to fake my death. I was thinking a type of potions accident with my independent study. As a dead person, no one would try to find me if I disappeared. I wouldn't have to take the N.E.W.T.s. I could just leave without messy goodbyes or explanations. I hate having to hurt my friends, but it would hurt more if I just disappeared for no reason. Does this make sense?" she elaborated. He sighed. He nodded, and then said, "Indeed it does. As much as I hate putting the student through the trauma of losing a classmate before the exams, I agree. It is the only way to go. A potions accident could be faked. No one ever actually needs to see the body. The next question may be a bit morbid, but do you want to stay for the funeral? You could watch from an invisibility cloak."
She paled slightly and said firmly, "No. I would rather not. It would be strange. I couldn't see my friends sitting at my own funeral."
The headmaster nodded. "Very well. When to you want to do this? Or rather when will the potion be ready?" he asked.
"It will be ready by next Tuesday. I suggest we fake it then as well. Then make the announcement on Wednesday. I'll leave before lunch. I wouldn't be able to handle stay longer," she replied.
He nodded again, "It shall be arranged. Good day, Miss Gordon."
"Good day, Professor," she said.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
One week later, she found herself sitting at a table in the lone corner of the library. Wads of crumpled parchment lay around her. She glared at the blank sheet in front of her as if it was its fault she could think. She was attempting to write one last letter to Severus without telling him everything or making it sound like a suicide, but still saying goodbye. An hour and a half later she still had nothing to show for it.
Suddenly an idea came to her and she began to write. Thirty minutes later and two feet of parchment she was done. She reread it one last time then rolled it up carefully. She sealed it with a bit of wax then wrote his name on the outside. She tucked it carefully into her robe pocket then headed to their special room. She needed to say goodbye one last time.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
A/N: Hey! Glad your reading this. Please review. I must take the time to say this: a lot of the timeturner part of this fic was inspired by Serpentina's "A little of your time". It was the first timeturner fic I ever read and is absolutely fabulous. It is incomplete and will remain that way but is still worth taking the time to read. For a link see my favorite stories. So thanks to Serpentina for inspiring my love of this type of fic.
I'll update soon, I promise.
