Disclaimer: This story is never mine! NEVER EVER MINE! Please don't sue me!
Lily gasped as a black, messy haired head turned around to face her. It wasn't him that frightened her. It was the body in the sofa that made her want to shrivel up and die of embarrassment. James rubbed his bruised head as the long, slender hands came out of the sofa, caressing his shoulders. I do not need to see this, especially after tonight! Lily fumed inwardly. James cocked a smile after a few strings of unmentionable words and got up out of the sofa, shirtless. Lily blushed, lowering her eyes. James smirked, loving the way his body made her flush like that. Jus to spite her, he raised his arms up and stretched, so she could get a nice, PG view of his abs. Then, the body came out of the sofa. Long, rippling blonde hair, high halter top, and skimpy shorts came out of the sofa and attached to James. Like a leech! Lily thought as the blonde haired bimbo turned to face her, smirking slightly. She's in my house, having "a night" in my sofa, and sleeping with my boy- Lily gulped her thoughts down as James, who was running his fingers through his hair, introduced both of them.
"Lil, this is Selma Harrison. I met her a few days ago and she came over to have, er, coffee, but then-" Selma giggled. It sounded like a cackle to Lily. " Selma, this is Lily Evans, my, er, friend." Selma glared at Lily, not taking the hand Lily put out. Lily sighed.
"Nice to meet you, Selma. Now, if you both don't mind, I'll go to bed!" Her feet were killing her. Selma gave her a sickeningly sweet smile, and grabbed a pitiful James back into the couch.
"I'm just dreaming! Just dreaming! WAKE ME UP!" Lily yelled harshly, her hair tangled and still in her bathrobe. She had woken up this morning at six because of Belle's loud snoring. Then, Sirius came bounding in to her room and bugged her about the date. Then, she went downstairs to have breakfast only to realize that Selma decided to stay, used up all her hot water (when she borrowed some from Mr. Ramachandran from next door,he lectured her into hell about how awful teenagers were. "Why can't I even think happily? Hai Ram!"), ate the last packet of strawberry oatmeal ( Lily's favorite), and ate in her bowl! Nobody ate in Lily's bowl. The house was trashed and now had a fetid odor! "Did this all happen over one night and a six hour morning? Someone just please wake me up!" Lily glared at a groggy James and went upstairs.
James felt horrible. He knew he didn't do anything wrong. But something as wrong. He loved Lily and he knew it. Then, why was he spending time with the rat faced, rude Selma? He had only met her a few days ago, near a pub. He had to make it up to Lily! He just had to!
She needed time to think. And the only private place she could think of now was the lavatory. In my own house, my own private spot is the loo! The Loo! Lily sighed as she ran into her pink and purple bathroom. She hated this thing ever since she moved in, but Rachel had thought it was cute and had helped her paint it. She didn't have the heart to repaint it something more subtle.
That stupid James! He always made her life turn upside down. God, and now he brought his stupid girlfirned into her house! HER house! I wish I could just take his head and-
"AHHHHHH!" Lily screamed. For some reason, she lost her seating and fell into the toilet. "GRAH! Ew! GROSS!" The stupid toilet seat had been missing a toilet seat for a long time, and Lily was too bored and lazy to replace it. And now, she paid for it. "DARNNIT! AHHHH! ICAN'T GET OUT! SOMEONE GET THEIR LAZY BUTT OVER HERE AND HELP ME OUT!"
And boy, did she ever regret saying that. "Lily? Erm, Lily, do you need help potty training? Are you ok? If you need help-" Shoot. Not Potter. Not now!
"Cut the crap James. Can you call Belle or someone? Quickly! GROSS!" James stifled laughter.
"Uh, Lil, they went out. Her and Sirius. They took Selma with them. I'm the only one here. Do you need anything? Is this a girl thing or something, because I really can't help you. I never paid attention in health class in muggle school."
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JAMES!"
"I mean, uh, I cant help you with your thing."
"James," Lily said sweetly. " Sweetie, nothing is wrong! JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
"Ok. Um, unlock the door!"
"You dork! I'm stuck in the toilet!"
Lily glared at the door where she could hear peals of chuckles followed by eye wetting laughs. "Enough laughing James! GET ME-"
"Ok! OK! Um, does your bathroom have a window? "
Lily stared. " Yea! But, you probably have to fly up. Do not get caught! Whatever you do. If Mr. Ramachandran sees you, he'll-"
" Lil, how can you forget my invisibility cloak?"
"Well, then, get your arse up here and save me!"
Lily stared at the window. If she wasn't stuck in her toilet, this would have been pretty romantic. Wait! Romantic? With James? Puh-lease!
Sure enough, James's brown mess of hair could be seen over the top of her window, as his foot stepped in through the window. "Hey, Lil, you never cease to amaze me! How did you get yourself stuck in the toilet? I mean, don't you have a toilet seat? And I thought you were potty trained. And I-" Lily winced as James stepped on her shower curtain, which grabbed his foot, so he slipped, rolled himself into the shower curtain, and flipped into her bathtub. Lily stared, not comprehending the weirdness of it all. There lay James, the shower curtain monster, groaning softly.
"Lily, did your shower curtains really have to lace on them? Pink lace?"
"Don't blame me. It's all Rachel's design. And, personally, I hate it. But, she really likes it. So I kept it. And now, you're stuck in the bathtub and I'm stuck in the toilet. Guess we have to wait for Sirius to come home. You know how weird this is going to seem. And you didn't even do your job, James!"
"Sorry dear Lily!"
"Yea? You better be when your girlfriend, I mean pig, finds you here. Like this!"
"Oh shoot!"
Lily sighed as they waited for Sirius to come home, which he did. She, for the first time, felt happy Sirius was looking for her.
"Lileeeee! Jamsieeeee! Where are you two hooligans? I knew it! Belle! They're off somewhere making out, aren't you two tigers?"
Lily winced. Making out with James. Weird. She took a deep breath and yelled, readying herself for the expected faces of fear when he would find her like this. "SIRIUS! SAVE ME!"
Sure enough, Belle, Selma, and Sirius came running in, and knocked down the door after a few failed tries from Sirius's "brute strength". Belle cast a spell to break it. And Selma's rat face peeked in.
"OH MY GOD! AHHHHH" Belle caught the scarred girl and cautiously walked in , followed by a mirthful Sirius, who had, sadly, brought his first camera into the room with him. Lily glared as Sirius took a bunch of pictures of the disgusting situation. "This is awesome blackmail."
"Shut up Si!"
"Oi! James? Mate, what happened to you? Did Lily do this to you?"
Belle pulled Lily out of the toilet and immediately gave her a pair of pants. "Please, Si, they were probably, um, accidentally, stuck like this. Stuff like this happens often!" Belle smiled weakly as she led everyone out of the room and left a beet red Lily to shower on her own.
Before she left, Belle stuck her head back in. "You better tell me everything!"
Sighing, Lily stepped into the shower, feeling that if the ground swallowed her up, she wouldn't mind.
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Author's Notes!
So? How was it? I am soo sorry for not posting, but I had too much homework! And tests! And crazy parents to deal with….life is too short.
I will eternally praise and worship everyone who reviewed! Especially Miss Myrtle!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
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