A/N: boo! Hahah scared you…not really. Anyways, dragonlady 44 and elvenwolf123321 are the winners! Both of them guessed that the book Sirius was reading from was Blackwood Farm! (Quinn is dead sexy, Quinn is dead sexy, Quinn is dead sexy, Quinn is dead sexy!) So they will both get a special scene which I will add in as soon as it works with the plot.

The Marauders were back in the hotel room, full of teenage energy. They'd spent the day in the Louvre, molesting paintings, being chased by French art connoisseurs, and dashing around various French cafes and eating till they wanted to barf.

"Remus, let's go to a club!" Sirius wined.

"No!" Remus growled. "For the last time, Sirius!"

"Please?"

"No!"

Sirius retreated onto James and Peter's bed, shooting the werewolf dirty looks. "James, let's go to a club!"

"…Remus doesn't have anything to wear." James sighed, his eyes flickered from his book to Sirius for a moment.

"He can borrow my clothes!" Sirius moaned.

"He's a lot shorter then you are." James said, without even looking up from his book.

"Am not!" Remus cut in angrily. "I'm only….two inches shorter!...Maybe three…."

"No…." Sirius said with a huge grin. "Nah, James' right, you don't have any club wear." Thank sex for Reverse Psychology! The dark haired boy thought.

"Damn you." Remus hissed. "We're going to a club, now." He grabbed Sirius's suitcase and vanished into the bathroom.

James offered Sirius and hand and Sirius have him a high five. "Hey Peter what're you gonna wear?" James asked suddenly, he put his book on the table and stretched.

"Oh don't think I don't have my own leather pants!" Peter chortled, he stepped out of the closet wearing super tight leather pants. James' eyes widened violently and he fell back on the bed, clutching his chest. Sirius just fell of the bed, covering his mouth with one hand. "What?"

"Off now!" James and Sirius yelled.

"Damn it….I'm taking anorexic lessons." Peter grumbled, disappearing back into the closet.

James searched through his suitcase and produced several pairs of pants and shirts. "Alright, Padfoot, help."

"Jez, what do I look like? Your queer fashion consultant?" Sirius said. He sat back down on the bed and stretched out. "Alright fine, let me see."

James held the clothes up.

"...Hm…..Light blue jeans, and brown sweater." Sirius yawned.

"Sure I won't look gay?" James asked suspiciously.

"Not unless you want to." The other Gryffindor shrugged. They both looked over to see a blonde head peek out of the bathroom. "Hey Remus." Sirius smiled.

"Erm….How does this look?" Remus asked, he stepped out of the bathroom in extremely low black pants and a white button shirt. Sirius sighed and walked over to Remus.

"Really Remus the pants are fine, but the shirt looks like a night gown! You know how short you are!" Sirius admonished teasingly while ripping the hem of Remus' shirt, ignoring the werewolf's cries of outrage. "There!"

"Sirius you killed it!" Remus cried. The shirt now hung to just above his belly button in tattered rips.

"Nah, it's fine." Sirius shrugged. He went into the bathroom and was out again in ten seconds, changed into black bondage pants with a cropped skintight black turtle neck over red mesh.

"Siri how'd you do that?" Remus asked in shock.

"He does it all the time." James yawned. "Dumb ass practices too."

"Only about an hour a day…." Sirius laughed nervously. "Here." He tossed a thick studded belt at Remus. "Wear, enjoy." Remus fumbled with the belt before buckling it low around his hips.

"Peter what are you wearing?" Sirius asked annoyed.

"….jeans." Peter growled. He stepped out of the closet in baggy jeans and a black t-shirt with a bar code on it. "Happy?"

"Yes!" James and Sirius yelled.

"James this was a bad idea!" Sirius squeaked. Currently his arms were wrapped around James' shoulders and he was clutching the said friend for dear life.

"It was your idea." James growled.

"We'll be rapped by some old French pervert!"

"Sirius stop being an idiot!" Remus growled. "Look let's just ask this nice man for directions!" Remus gestured to a ratty homeless guy sitting on a pile of cardboard.

"Uh…Remus? He doesn't look soo nice." James said awkwardly.

"Eh, I'm sure he's a genius homeless guy who ran away from home because of his abusive father!" Remus' eyes took on a starry cast. "Poor Bob! He ran away from his abusive parents and his only option was to live on the streets! Nobody would believe he was really smart! And his girlfriend left him, and his only friend is a black cat! Named lucky! And-"

"Remus you're rambling again." Peter said shortly.

"Ops." Remus laughed and walked over to the man and said kindly, "Excuse me sir, but my friends and I are looking for a club, could you direct us to one?"

The homeless man blinked and grumbled he looked up at Remus. "Heeeeey sexy."

"Pardon?" Remus stammered.

The homeless man's hand settled on Remus' hip. "Wanna come down here for sum French lovin' Brit?"

Remus' eyes widened and a scarlet blush formed on his cheeks. "Well I-uh-er…" The man's hand dipped a little lower. "SQUEEEE!"

Sirius jumped on the homeless guy and punched him violently. "Mess with my boy will you!"

"Siri…" Remus sighed. "Well obviously I was wrong about you, Bob. Goodbye." Remus turned on his heal and walked away, followed by the rest of the marauders and the moaning of the injured Homeless guy.

"Hey look!" Peter exclaimed. He pointed to a huge area of bright lights and a windmill near them. "I think it's a club!"

The marauders walked cautiously closer to the place and Remus grinned. "It's the Moulin Rouge!"

"Dorian's pervy sex world?" Sirius grumbled. "C'mon we can find a better club."

"No way! This one is great! Please can we go in?" Remus begged. "Please?"

Sirius sighed. "Fine."

The Gryffindors walked through a gate and through a courtyard full of tables and women and man flirting. There was a gigantic elephant and Remus looked up at it with starry eyes. They were suddenly swept up in a crowd of men and were pushing inside the club.

The boys marveled. Men and woman danced everywhere, hanging from the ceiling were cages with dancing strippers. Lights were everywhere and flashing almost violently. The dance floor was a huge circle with stacked floors of tables and even more dancing that looked down on the floor.

"Hey sexy." A woman purred. She grinned at Sirius and wrapped herself around him. "Wanna dance?"

"I'm in heaven!" Sirius gasped, letting himself be led away. Remus! Remus you idiot! He thought, but his horny teenage mind was over ridden by his desire to…do naughty things.

"Hey cuttie." Another woman giggled, two wrapped around Remus smiling like harpies. Remus hardly noticed James and Peter be led off by other harpies.

"Er…Hi?" Remus stammered.

"Come dance with us." The blonde giggled.

"No…..really I'm fine." Remus laughed.

"Please?" The brunette begged.

"I really need at least a bottle of vodka first." Remus said nervously. "Hahah…." He dashed away from the women and into the dance floor. He saw Peter grinning like a maniac with the women writhing against him. James was twirling his girl around and flirting insanely. Remus looked up and saw Sirius in one of the cages with two naked woman.

"I love France!" Sirius screamed.

Remus sighed, he tried to get into the dancing. His plan failed miserably. Remus risgned to the bar and folded his head in his arms. What's wrong with me! Why can't I have any fun…An image of Sirius and the two dancers flashed into his mind. For a moment he felt jealously lash out like a whip. I don't like Sirius! Up, there was the jealously again. Okay, maybe a little, but Siri's the straightest guy I know!

"Having a bad night?" The bartender asked with a kid smile.

"You could say that." Remus muttered.

"Yah, you look pretty worse for wear. Friends ditch you?"

Remus looked up at the bartender. The bartender was a young guy, maybe twenty, with wild brown curly hair and dark green eyes. "Well….kind off…."

"Ah, harpies drag them off?"

"Harpies?" The blonde asked.

"The girls."

"Ah…." Remus shrugged. "No, sort of…maybe…Yeah."

"Well good for you for resisting them, bunch of no good whores." The bartender sneered.

"Aren't they just poor souls looking for money cause they got kicked out of their house?" Remus asked puzzled.

"Nah. Dumb bitches like what they do. They like playing with guys hearts. Don't fall for one, they snatch up your heart and break it like ice."

"You sound like you know for a fact." The blonde said.

"I do, I feel head over heels for one and she screwed me over. Names Johnny." The bartender held out a hand.

"Remus."

"So, want something to drink?" Johnny asked.

"Uh…sure."

"Here, first night?" Johnny grinned, rummaging through some glass bottles. Remus nodded. Johnny slammed a glowing green bottle down on the table. "Absinth. It's illegal in England, it'll loosen you right up."

Remus grabbed the bottle and took a swig. He sputtered and slammed it down. Remus wiped his mouth and grinned. "It's good!" Remus chugged down a few more sips before jumping up on the bar stool laughing. "I feel great!" Remus sat on the bar and gave Johnny a kiss. "I love you man!"

The Gryffindor got up on the bar and started to dance around like crazy and he attracted quite a crowd.

Johnny smiled and shook his head. "I never thought I'd see a male with a harpy inside….jez…I hate harpies…." He looked back at the drinks and suddenly found himself looking back at Remus. "Well…maybe guy harpies are different."

A/N: I know, short chapter. Just wanted to saaay, 1. Don't think absinth is illegal in England, pretend it is. 2. Harpie (I made this up): A girl (sometimes guy) who captures guys (or girls) hearts and usually toys with them before breaking their poor lover's heart. Some Harpies only capture peoples hearts, but are nice and don't break them. Note: this definition works for Harpies who work in the Moulin Rouge. Not a real definition. So, who wants to review and say how much they love seeing Remy sexually abused!