Chapter 26: Truth Revealed
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Hermione was troubled. After the fear of almost losing her love, she felt guilty about having faked her death. The mere thought of losing him had broken her heart. The idea that he had actually felt this way for the last twenty years pained her. She desperately wanted to tell him the truth, but a part of her kept telling her not to.
She knew that he still remember her. Once when she had woken in the middle of the night, to find him curled around her as usual, she had heard him mutter the name Elizabeth as he dreamed. Plus she had noticed that in spite of all other lack of decorations, he kept a single white rose on the mantle. She had a sneaking suspicion that it was the enchanted rose he had given her, but had not had a chance to inspect it closer.
However much she wanted to tell him, just to have it out in the open, a large part wished for him to figure it out himself. He had to have thought about it. They were identical in the way they looked. Hadn't he recognized the sapphires? Did he feel nothing at all when they were together?
Part of her didn't want him to be told. She felt that if he knew, he would be pressured into loving her. If he loved her she wanted it to be his true feelings now, not those dredged up by long lost memories of his past.
She knew that he would have to be told one day if he didn't discover it for himself. She just hoped she wouldn't have to.
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Over the weekend Severus engaged in surreptitious surveillance of his wife. He was puzzled by Dumbledore's conviction that Hermione loved him. As far as he could tell she ignored him as much now as she did the whole summer. True they were both very busy, without much time to be spent together. But if she truly did love him, why didn't she act like it. She hardly acted at all like what he thought a person in love would act.
She didn't try to kiss him or show affection. They rarely even talked. The only sign of intimacy at all was waking up cuddled together, which he had written off as a heat saving instinct of living in the dungeons. He just didn't believe that she could possibly be in love with him after so short a time and not even show it.
With his mind settled that Albus must be crazier than ever, he wrote it off as a whimsy of an old man who loved romance.
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It was with much pride that Hermione joined the staff at the long table for the Welcoming Feast. She felt slightly odd at not joining her fellow Gryffindors at the table as they trickled in from the rain. A few of the older students had noticed her sitting up here next to Severus. They gave her confused looks but proceeded to their customary tables.
When the room was packed to the rafters with all the older students, Professor McGonagall led in the first years. The Sorting Hat once again came up with a fantastic song, this time with no warnings of doom. Once the 42 new students at been distributed among the Houses the feast began.
As dessert was being cleared from the tables, Dumbledore rose to make his annual announcements, "Welcome students new and old, to a brand new year at Hogwarts. Before you all proceed to your dorms for the night, I would like to make a few announcements. The first is that as always the Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students. Our caretaker Mr. Filch would like me to remind you that there is to be no magic in the corridors between classes. He would also like me to announce that all products produced by Weasley Wizard Wheezes are strictly off limits and a list of all other such items can be found hanging outside his office. With that said I would like to announce a change in staff. The Defense Against the Dark Arts class will once again be taught by Professor Remus Lupin." A small wave of clapping by the students who had had Lupin before ran across the room. "Also, the Transfiguration classes for first through third year students will now be being taught by Professor Snape."
There was a collective horrified gasp about the room. Smiling at the misinterpretation, Albus gestured for Hermione to stand and as she did, he said, "Professor Hermione Snape will also be working as an assistant librarian to Madame Pince." As she sat back down a wave of clapping started until it echoed off the ceiling. Hermione could only blush as the room returned to quiet. Apparently she had been more popular than she thought, or they were just overly relieved that she was not Severus.
Out of the corner of his mouth Severus muttered, "Since when did you become a professor?"
She glanced at him before returning her attention forward and muttered back, "Two weeks ago. If you would talk to someone for once you may have found out sooner."
Before he could reply Dumbledore had continued, "I would also like to announce a special event. You may have noticed that dress robes and or costumes were on your supply list for this year. This is because this upcoming Halloween there will be an All Hollow's Eve Ball. Fourth years and up only unless partnered by an older student. All staff will be present as chaperones. So good luck with the new school year, and good night."
As he sat back down, he seemed not to notice the horrified or reproachful looks the rest of the staff was giving him. They waited as the students left to their respective dorms, first years led by the prefects. When the last student had left, Professor McGonagall rounded on the Headmaster who was rising from his seat and said, "What in Merlin's name prompted you to plan a Halloween Ball, Albus? You changed the students' letters without telling me. Why wasn't I informed?"
The rest of the staff looked on as Dumbledore paused and sat back down saying, "I had been thinking, and decided the students needed a bit of fun beyond the occasional quidditch match. The Yule Ball three years ago seemed to have gone off well, and I thought we could make it a tradition. Every four years we can hold a Halloween or Yule Ball. That way, students who were younger could still have a chance to go at the next one. I thought it was brilliant. I only came up with the idea a week before the letters were sent and we haven't had a staff meeting since then. There is plenty of time to plan it all."
Minerva sighed and shook her head exasperatedly and replied in a tired sort of voice, "Next time give us warning will you, Albus. Is the entire staff attending really necessary?"
He smiled back at her and said, "I see no reason why the staff should not have a little fun as well. I must say though, that if the students are required to dress up, the staff should set an example, don't you think?" He looked around at the stunned faces and with a cheery wave and smile left the table with a quick, "Good night."
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The next morning found Severus pounding on the bathroom door and almost shouting, "Hermione, get out of there this instant."
"I'm not done yet. Give me ten more minutes," was the muffled reply.
"You've been in there for an hour. How much more could you possible have to do," he muttered to himself. He just stared at the door in loathing before finally giving up and, after performing a quick freshening up spell to his appearance, left for the Great Hall.
He had already helped himself to a plate of sausage and potatoes and a cup of black coffee, when Hermione entered. He did a slight double take as she sat down. Despite his usual nature he thought she looked rather pretty this morning in robes of periwinkle blue. The time spent in the bathroom had obviously been used in doing her hear, which was twisted into an elegant, curly not at the back of her head. He shook his head at the folly of those who dressed up in order to impress the students, and returned to his breakfast.
Hermione had noticed that he had looked, but as she was trying to keep her nervous stomach calm, she said nothing. Anyone who knew her would think she would never have trouble imparting knowledge to someone else. She had been infamous for it while in school, though it had lessoned after her fifth year. But now that she was relied on to actually teach something where it mattered if the person paid attention or not caused her to doubt. The idea was actually quite terrifying.
Knowing that it would do no good for her to pass out in class for lack of energy, she forced herself to eat some toast and eggs. Hoping to wash away the sickening feel of the food in her stomach, she drank a glass of orange juice. Without so much as a 'good day' or 'good luck,' Severus got up and left. She watched him for several moments before gathering her courage and heading for the Transfiguration classroom and the second year students waiting for her.
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That evening at dinner, a much happier and relieved Hermione, greeted a surly Severus with a smile. Her day had gone well. The students seemed to genuinely like her as a teacher and listened when she talked. No overt disaster had happened, with the exception of Clarence Bilogapy setting his desk on fire in the first year class. All in all it had been a good day.
It seems that Severus' had not gone so well, though. He remained silent, which while not unusual, was not normally accompanied by piercingly angry glances at the Hufflepuff table. It seems that the first day of classes had not agreed with him.
Apparantly Dumbledore had not noticed that Severus was in no mood for talk as he turned them and asked, "So have you two decided on your costumes for the Ball? As our local couple I think it would be wonderful if you two came matching. I myself am coming as a muggle train conductor."
Hermione glanced at her husband quickly and, seeing him about to give a scathing reply, interjected, "We hadn't really thought about it yet. I'm sure we'll come up with something appropriate."
"Excellent, I look forward to seeing what an inventive mind like your own will come up with," the headmaster replied, before turning to Minerva on his left.
Turning to Severus, he just glared at her for a long moment, daring her to even think of putting him in a costume, before returning to his angry contemplation of the students. Shaking her head at his stubbornness, she wished that she could come up with a costume that would really surprise him. She wanted to see that stunned look of amazement again. To see the look he had given her when she had entered the hall at the Christmas party. As she reminisced, it suddenly came to her. She knew exactly what she was going to wear to the Halloween Ball. It would surprise them all.
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The weeks passed and as September became October, the air of excitement around Hogwarts increased. Students were talking about costumes and hair styles. Several girls had reported to the Hospital Wings after a few cat fights over who had first pick of the dates had broken out. Everyone who could get a date did, including some of the younger students.
The morning of October 31 dawned clear and cold. You could cut the excited tension with a knife. Severus had begun to think that Hermione would flout Dumbledore's decree and not attend. She had never discussed a costume with him or anyone. She seemed to have ignored it completely. So it was with great surprise, that he greeted her when she entered their chambers after breakfast carrying an armful of cloth.
The bundle of cloth turned out to be a set of sixteenth century style dress robes. Despite a few ruffles and the old fashioned cut, they were in excellent taste. They were of the deepest black silk, that seemed to float through the air. The cuffs, neck and chest were covered in a fine silver embroidery, giving the hint of lace.
For a long moment he just looked at her holding the robes up for his inspection, before taking them from her and giving a gruff, "Thank you."
She smiled thinly at him and said, "Your welcome. Here is the mask to go with it." She handed him a simple affair of silver plastic, meant to cover eyes and nose. It looked to have been modified slightly as to accommodate his larger nose. When he tried it on later, it fit as if molded to his face.
Slightly puzzled as to why she had only brought these robes, and to why the old fashioned style, he asked, "What are you wearing then?"
She gave him and enigmatic smile and said, "It's a surprise," and without another word left the dungeons.
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Several hours later, Severus began to wonder where Hermione had gotten to. He hadn't seen her since she left their rooms this morning. The dance started at 7:30, shortly after dinner. At a 7:15, he gave up waiting for her, dressed and headed to the Great Hall.
The students filed in a few at a time and Dumbledore finally announce the start of the Ball as the hired entertainment struck up a tune. Severus stood against one wall, watching the dancing skeletons, ghouls, vampires, and fairies for any mischief making, while keeping one eye on the door for any sign of Hermione. After the second song finished, he caught a flash of color out of the corner of his eye. The next moment he was looking down into the face of his wife a stunned expression on his face behind the mask.
Elizabeth! his mind shouted. She was standing there in front of him. He felt as though he had been transported back in time. He was seventeen again and staring at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was wearing the red-orange dress, with black lace. The hair was exactly the same to the very last crystal drop in the braid holding it back. The only difference was a lacy black mask framing her cinnamon eyes. She smiled at him warmly and calmly said, "Hello, sorry I'm late. I had a little difficulty with my hair."
He could only stare at her stupidly. A million thoughts raced through his mind. She's wearing the same dress. How did she get it? Could she possibly be her? No. It can't be her. It is just coincidence that she found a similar dress. A sacrcastic little voice said, Oh yeah, that is a pretty big coincidence. She just happened to find a book with the same hair style too, is that it. It's her, stop denying it. He skittered away from that thought and with a final shove thought, That is not Elizabeth. That is Hermione! NOT Elizabeth!
He broke out of his stupor as Dumbledore, wearing a blue train contuctor uniform, approached and said, "Hermione, Severus, you two look fantastic. I love the Medieval costumes. The black and silver with the red and black look spectacular. There is no doubt who won the staff costume competition. By the way, you look ravishing my dear."
She smiled the Headmaster and replied, "Thank you, Albus. I love your costume by the way. Very realistic."
Albus smiled back and replied, "I had a little help from Harry. He lent me a book showing the old fashioned steam trains. But anyway, as your prize I am releasing you from your chaperone duties. Enjoy yourselves. I say the sight of you two dancing would be a special treat for the students. Come on now, the band is just starting a slow one. Go on, I insist."
He shooed them onto the dance floor, as a reluctant Severus took the hand of a blushing Hermione. For a few seconds the floor around them was clear of students who had all stopped to stare. The moment passed, the students accepted the dancing couple and returned to the floor. They progressed around the floor slowly. Made nervous by his continued silence, Hermione felt a creeping blush flush her face. It deepened as the shame of being nervous in front of Severus developed. Little did she know that at that moment, he was thinking that the blush only made her more beautiful, while he tried to deny it at the same time.
As the song ended he quickly released her, and making an excuse about getting drinks left her on the floor. Feeling bereft she idly wandered to the side of the floor. Unsure of what to do without the need to chaperone and no Severus to partner her, she stood listless for a long moment. It was with much relief that she accepted an offer to dance from Remus. It was obvious that he recognized the dress. He never said anything beyond that she looked good, but she could feel it in the way he looked at her that it went beyond that. If he knew that she intended Severus to figure it out by her wearing the dress, he stayed silent. She just danced and appreciated being in the arms of at least one man who loved her.
From next to the refreshments table, an increasingly confused and jealous Severus watched Lupin and Hermione dancing. He knew that Lupin had to have recognized the dress. He had seen Elizabeth wear it back then. He wondered if Lupin had thought it Elizabeth when Hermione had first entered.
Suddenly he didn't want to know. He didn't want anything to do with the one time boyfriend of his dead fiancé. He looked around him for an escape and realizing that he was no longer required to be there, he left. He needed to be alone.
Hermione returned to their rooms at midnight to find Severus awake and sitting by the fireplace staring, not at the flames, but at the rose sitting on the mantle. He had removed his mask, which was now sitting on the floor beside him.
Trying to dispel the silence, she cleared her throat and asked, "So, what did you think of my costume?"
He jumped, having not noticed her entering, and turned to her, a disturbed look on his face. For a long moment he said nothing. His gazed seemed to be searching her for an answer to an unvoiced question. She was just about say she was going to bed, when he hissed, "Who told you?"
For a moment she was confused and involuntarily said, "What are you talking about?"
He scowled at her, his anger mounting, "You know. Who put you up to it? Is this Dumbledore's idea of a joke? Or maybe it was Lupin. Did your precious werewolf tell you to wear that dress? Where did he get it? It would have to have been in hiding for over twenty years. Did you all get together and decide to make a fool out of me? Well? Answer me!"
She stared at him stupidly, taken aback by the abruptness of his anger. The attack on Remus had caught her off guard. He was assuming that someone had told her about Elizabeth and did this as a joke. It was not going at all likes she had hoped. Coming out her shocked state, she muttered, "Remus had nothing to do with this. It was not meant as a joke."
He glared at her coldly. His eyes flashed like burning coal as he spat, "You have no idea, what you have done. You know nothing."
Suddenly she was tired of playing these little games, sick of being silent in front of him like the good little student. Her face flushed with anger as she raised her chin stubbornly and retorted, "I know everything. I know you loved a girl once. She looked just like me. You were engaged. She was a transfer student in Gryffindor. She had dated Remus, which is why you never liked him. You were jealous."
He looked at her in shock for a moment before, "That proves nothing. Anyone on staff could have told you that much. You know nothing about Elizabeth." He stood and began to cross the room to the bedroom.
She was torn between the urge to cry over his denial, or rage at him for being so blind. She compromised and in steely voice that made him freeze in place, she said, "You loved Elizabeth Gordon. I could tell you things that only she would know. You gave her a rose that changed colors to match the emotions of the holder, which is how you knew she loved you too. She wore this dress to a Christmas party at Snape mansion. On Christmas day she secretly flew to your house in her animagus hawk form and was wearing the sapphire earrings and necklace you had given her. You fought with Lucius Malfoy over her and she turned him into a white ferret. She saved your life when Sirius tricked you into finding Remus as a werewolf. Your first kiss was in the library. You often met in an abandoned classroom. You proposed to her one week, before she died. You gave her a silver and sapphire ring, just like this one." She held up her left hand as the fire light shown off the jewel. She paused and waited for his reaction to her little speech.
He was staring at her blankly. He blinked slowly twice, and his voice was hoarse, as if he had been shouting, when he gruffly replied, "How did you find out about all this?"
She looked at him sadly, her eyes shining with unshed tears. In a firm, but relieved voice she said, "I was Elizabeth Gordon."
For several agonizing minutes the two of them stood motionless, the only sound that of the flames crackling on the hearth. She watched as a million emotions flitted across his face, finally settling on thin lipped anger. In one swift movement he was suddenly passed her and she heard the portrait door slam as he left. She rubbed her forehead wearily and realizing that he had to deal with this in his own way, went to get ready for bed.
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Meanwhile, Severus was angrily making his way through the corridors. Taking points from the three couples he found making out in the halls did nothing to dissipate his anger. To his surprise he was not angry at Hermione, but rather at Dumbledore. The old fool had to have known that she was Elizabeth. He was no longer denying it. While it was a possibility that she was making it up, she knew too much that was just between him and Elizabeth for it to be coincidence anymore.
Finally reaching the Headmaster's office he hurried up the stairs and opened the door without knocking. He strode straight up to the old wizard, ignoring the occupant of the other chair by the fire and spat, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Remus looked at him with some pity, while Dumbledore just replied calmly, "It was not the right time, nor my place to tell. She needed to tell you herself. Sit down, Severus. Have a glass of brandy?"
His initial anger left him, and he obediently sat in the third chair, and mutely took the proffered alcohol. After the first mouthful had burned a track down his throat, clearing his brain, he said in a calmer voice, "How?"
Dumbledore sighed and told him how Hermione had come to twenty years in the passed. Severus remained silent his only form of comment a raised eyebrow of scowl of contempt at the descriptions of the back plot of the ruse. When the headmaster finished, they all sat in silence as Severus took it all in. After several moments he looked up from the fire where his focus had drifted and looked at Lupin sitting in the opposite chair. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously and said, "You knew too, didn't you."
For a moment Remus looked guilty before firmly stating, "I guessed. I recognized the sapphires necklace she was wearing at the wedding and asked her. She confirmed it and I have made my peace with the issue. She still loves you, you know. For me and you it has been twenty years. For her it has only been several months. It is a big part of what makes her trust you enough to feel safe in a marriage with you. It's why she turned down Malfoy when he kidnapped her at the wedding. It's why she sat by your bed when you came back from the death eater meeting all beat up. It's why she wore the dress tonight and why she didn't tell you sooner. She felt that you would feel obligated to be with her if you knew. She wanted you to love her back. Not for being Elizabeth, but for being herself."
Severus glared at the other man resentfully for knowing more about his wife than he did. He understood what Lupin and Dumbledore were trying to say, but it was all too much too soon. The information was too fresh in his mind for him to accept it. He needed to be alone. In one smooth movement he stood and left the office.
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Hermione woke feeling cold. As she rolled over she realized this was because for the first time since she was married she was alone in the bed. Severus had never returned that night. Throwing on a robe she walked into the living room. The fire was now only a few glowing coals giving off feeble heat. The couch showed signs of having been slept on, with a fleece blanket scrunched up at one end. A half empty decanter of brandy and empty glass sat on the end table.
He had obviously come and gone. It was also obvious that he still did not wish to be in her presence, based on the fact that he had not slept in their bed. Not wanting to inflict her presence on him before he was ready, she ordered a breakfast tray to the rooms and ate sitting in front of the fire instead of going to the Great Hall.
With a hopeful wish that he would come to terms soon, she dressed and headed to her first class of the day, rubbing her lower back as it gave a small twinge.
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Her back ache was getting worse. At first she had thought that she was just tense from the situation with Severus. But even after visiting Poppy for a pain relief potion, the pain continued to increase. She tried ignoring it, but as the afternoon progressed the pain seemed to spread to her arms and legs, which occasionally gave an involuntary twitch.
She was in the middle of explaining the properties of a Switching Spell to her third year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw class, when a nauseating wave of pain washed over her, making the faces in front of her go dim. She swayed for a moment as the students looked at her worriedly, trying to smile at them reassuringly. She held her self up by leaning on her desk and just as she thought it had passed, another stronger wave hit her. She felt her self falling as she blacked out, the faces of her panic stricken students being the last thing she saw.
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A/N: There, she told him. Five points to your house if you know what made her sick. Ten points if you can tell me the cliché I used about Severus in this chapter, besides the scowl and jealousy of Remus. For anyone interested, I am working on getting a personal webpage. While still a work in progress, feel free to visit it. Eventually i am hoping to have this story there as one document along with the many pictures i have archived. The address is www(dot)geocities(dot)com/barqhorse/index(dot)html. For a quick link go to my bio page and click on the link.
