HALO/SEINFELD: A war about nothing.
By Raptor Uniter
Narrated by Grunty Mcgruntlegrunt
DISCLAIMER: I own myself, but other than that, everything is owned by FOX Studios, Bungie, and The Microsoft Empire that is to eventually take over the world… come to think of it, I don't think I actually own myself…
Ch. 1
Kramer's last Scheme
Kramer had gotten in a few problems trying to get Money over the last few years. First he got in big trouble for dumping a ball of oil on Seinfeld's ex-girlfriend, then he accidentally sold George a unusable condom witch got someone pregnant. Then he got stranded in the road trying to get some extra recycling money by shipping used cans to Michigan. But Kramer finally discovered a fool-proof plan to nab millions. Or did he…
Kramer walked into Jerry's apartment one fateful afternoon, without knocking (as was his custom). He walked over to the kitchen and grabbed himself a piece of Jerry's lunch, and Unfurled his latest plot to his pal. " Hey Jerry, I got some good news," Kramer told jerry after swallowing a piece of Jerry's reuben.
"Does it include me getting another reuben because I didn't eat breakfast this morning."
"Jerry, If we pull this new job, you can hire your own reuben chef! Maybe the Soup Nazi started doing reubens but that's the only bad part about it, I mean…"
"What do you mean we?"
"well, I had us signed up for this science thing, this scientist guy just built a time machine and he needs four guys to test it."
"Let me guess, you got me, George and Elaine signed up to go on a time machine that probably won't work?"
"yeah, but That scientist is willing to pay us 777,000 for it."
Jerry took a moment to think it over then asked, "when is it?"
"7:00 tonight."
"I have a performance tonight!"
"well tell them you have the flu, or a cold, or AIDS, you know, make something up."
Seinfeld took another moment to do what I personally think is the dumbest thing I have ever seen somebody do, he took another moment to think about it. I mean, It's 777 K, what's there to think about , I mean if somebody told me to kill all of my fellow grunts for 777K, I'd kill them and Truth to get it. Well, I'm getting ahead of myself, so I better get back to the story.
So, Jerry decides to go along with it and drives down to the place where the science dude person is. The science dude person gets them acquainted to the time machine, which the science dude person named the Lunie Been, and fitted them in their time-containment suits(so they won't freeze in the no time area that the Lunie Been crosses to get from one time period to another)which the science dude person named streit jackets. So the gang got into their streit Jackets and went into the Lunie Been, and went into the future, where I was just happening to be killing jerry's great great great great ggreat nephew, private Jenkins, with my needler, my needler witch I call fluffy, and I dress it up and put it in a doll house, and I take it with me while walking my pet combat flood form schmuckles, who is so cuuute. Who's my little schmuckles, Yesss you are! Yess you are!
Err… back to the story….
Well, at earth, the exact same place they started their journey through time, there was the greatest battle of all, but they came back on Delta HALO, and zapped into the control room just as The Arbiter, Com. Keys, Sgt. Johnson, and 343 guilty Spark were discussing cheese and it's effects on global warming(which, as it turns out, has no effect) out of pure boredom because there was no way off the ring with nobody there but them……….
