Ch. 3: Hitchhikers guide to HALO

(disclaimer two: I do not own Spaceballs, which is owned by Mel Brooks, nor do I own The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, witch is probably now owned by Monty Python, as Douglas Adams is dead.)

While Half-Jaw was contemplating the use of toothpicks and duct tape to repair the cruisers hull when he came up with and extraordinary idea, a way of curing ADD that involves a remote planet, A lot of carrier ships, and an atmosphere's worth of tear gas, and then he thought of a way to escape Installation 05. "hey everyone, I know how to escape now, so everybody come close and listen carefully, I'm only saying this once because I am probably going to forget it because I think I messed up the plotting part of my memory banks in the DUI incident. So here it is: We need to get some towels, a phantom, and a few weapons, because this book I'm holding here," Half-Jaw explained, waving a copy of The hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy, revised edition in his arms, "says that these three things are crucial to all space hitchhiking. Well, It only states that the towel is crucial, but I thought we should bring the other stuff too."

Com. Keyes counted the marines and elites and came to a conclusion that a single Phantom is simply not enough. "Why do we need one Phantom instead of two, and why the hell are we hitchhiking? Most importantly, why the hell do we need towels," Keyes asked to the slant-bite suffering enemy. "Well, we could use three Phantoms to hold a Banshee, A ghost, and a Puma, one on each one, and we could use the towels to disguise ourselves as space nomads, and we're hitchhiking because space pirates are probably already in-system plundering High Charity, witch I believe is misnamed because they don't really raise money for…" Half-Jaw was rudely interrupted by Keyes, who asked why he was suggesting they hitch a ride from space pirates, and asking what a Puma was.

"well human, We'll get This 'Seinfeld' person over here to pretend he's an accountant because space pirates often have trouble with their finances. Once onboard, we'll commandeer the ship. Also, a Puma is one of those small human vehicles that has a chain gun on the back and…"

"that's called a Warthog, not a Puma."

"It looks more like a Puma to me."

"Well it's a Warthog."

"Fine…"

"Good."

"…Infidel."

"you dumb little bastard…"

"Wort!"

" I'm gonna shove this SMG right up your…"

"Can't we all just get along?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm George Costanza"

"Well nice to meet you, I'm Half…What the F£ !"

"Prepare for a lead suppository, Bitch!"

"Woooort!"

"I really think we should just go now."

"Fine"

"To the Puma!"

"The Warthog"

"fine, let's go."

And so the set off to get boozed up, then on the next day they set off on their journey. And I peed in my armour while taking a nap. And the Chief imploded spontaneously and is now a fish that imploded and became the Chief again.