Detox

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot


Disclaimer: Dead Fish Rule! XD, Forsyth , you got issues, dude, that was a FUNNY Drawing though, really funny.


Chapter 2

Detox Begins


That night, while everybody slept, Gandalf dressed up like the Grinch and crawled and snuck around camp stealing all of their stuff.

He made an inventory of what he found on everyone.

Aragorn - 5 bags of weed, and a tank of oxygen.

Boromir - at least 15 bottles of ale, 5 of wine, 2 of beer

Gimli - lantern and teddy Beorn. Beorn confiscated for personal reasons.

Legolas - 5 bars of soap, 10 of shampoo, 10 conditioners, 1 bottle labeled 'For Estel', 3 pairs of gloves, 1 surgical mask, and 3 brush and comb sets. 1 bottle of Dorwinian Wine. Confiscated so not to tease the alchohalics.

Merry - 10 bags of weed.

Pippin - 20 bags of weed, 40 bottles of unmarked alchohal, how he carries this, I'll NEVER know.

Sam - Lots of er, scary pictures of all the Fellowship.

Frodo - Nothing, this kid is CLEAN.

Gandalf smiled at his list. He crammed all of the stolen goods into his bag. Except the pictures he took from Sam, those, he burned.

That morning, Boromir was the first one awake.

"What?" he jumped up, and rummaged through all his things. "It's gone." he wailed "All gone."

Gandalf sat back, with a satisfied smile, watching as Boromir woke everybody up, and they mourned over their lost items.

Legolas was having a panic attack, Aragorn had been crying on him, and there was a muddy steak on his clothes.

"Oh my Valar, Oh my Valar." He was hypervenilating.

"Him!" yelled Gimli "Give me back my Beorn!"

Everybody stared at him.

"It was new." he muttered.

"Where's my weed man?" asked Aragorn, who was shaking. "Where's my weed?" he asked frantic like.

Pippin and Merry were holding each other and bawling, Sam was blushing, and rummaging through his things, and Frodo was laughing crazily, and stroking the Ring.

Gandalf clapped his hands. "Everyone!" he called "Everyone!"

Everyone looked at him, and made realiztion, and bombarded him.

"Give it to me! I want my stuff! Really, you had no right to take my things!"

Gandalf raised his hands, palm up. "Now, we need to kick these habits, so I took them away."

In an instant, all of the Fellowship, except Frodo and Gandalf, burst in to tears.

"Geez," said Gandalf "And you call yourself men."


A/N: Beorn was a shapeshifter in The Hobbit, and mostly became a Bear. Thus a Teddy Beorn, would be a Teddy Bear.