Would You Like A Cookie? Part III
What was wrong with him? Slamming the door in her face after she'd so openly admitted something he'd wanted to hear her say since some time he couldn't even remember! First pushing her away after that kiss, and now this? What this some sort of deficiency? Was he born with it? What was wrong with him!
"Robin you open up this door this instant or I swear I'll break it down and you know I can!"
Robin jumped at the beating on his door and the level of anger in Raven's voice. For her to be this angry was very dangerous and normally he would have opened the door before she caused something to explode. Never the less, today wasn't a normal day and he left the door knob untouched. Sure enough…
BAM!
Surprisingly it wasn't the door that burst into pieces, but his bed, which he had had the misfortune to be sitting on at the time. He flew shortly into the air before landing sprawling on the floor with a deserving THUMP and a promise of visible bruises in the morning.
"Robin, I know you're in there!" Raven began pounding even more vigorously, "There's a girl downstairs crying her heart out and you better have a good explanation!"
BANG!
This time a chunk of the ceiling gave way loudly in a cloud of dust, much of the debris landing closely (a little too close for comfort really) to Robin's head.
Robin, having just narrowly missed obtaining a concussion, and feeling a bit low-strung because of his ordeal, could only come up with one very sullen response:
"Go away Raven."
"Don't you dare walk away from this! You go down there right now and fix it!"
"And you expect me to just waltz down there and say sorry?"
"You have anything better to do!"
"How could you know! You're not the one whose life just came crashing down!"
"Then what have you got to lose!"
"Everything!"
"And you're not willing to risk that for Star? Coward!"
"So what if I'm a coward! So what if I'm scared that things will never go back to the way they were! You won Raven; I'm a stupid coward who can't do anything about this but hide in his room! So just leave me alone and go away!"
And it was at this point, during the awkward silence that followed, that Raven's anger vanished. It was replaced with…no, not sympathy…curiosity? Maybe she'd been going about this all wrong. From within the room came small, indistinct noises. She pressed her ear to the door and listened to…crying?
"Her tone was softer this time, "Robin?"
Quiet and mixed with tears she heard his reply, "Please…just go away."
Oh dear. This was not how she had pictured for things to turn out. Now she felt pity for him. Sighing and placing her hands on the door, she slowly phased through it, so as not to alarm him. She knelt down on the floor next to Robin, putting a hand on his shoulder as she did so.
"Robin? Are you okay?"
Of course, that question was pretty redundant. Never had she seen him like this. He could lead a team of teen crime fighters, fight with them over who ate the last slice of pizza, fight bad guys and evil doers, but when it came down to matters of the heart, Robin went to pieces.
"Raven, I told you to leave me alone." He mumbled through his hands which covered his face.
"Just…let me say something first, and after that I promise I'll leave you alone."
He didn't say anything. She took this as an okay to continue.
"You love Starfire right?"
He lowered his hands and nodded.
"How much?"
He sniffed, "I'm nineteen Raven. If she'd have me I'd…I'd marry her."
Gosh that was sappy. Raven almost couldn't stand it but for the sanity of the tower she carried onward.
"So what on Earth is stopping you?"
He turned away, looking around the room as an excuse to not answer straight, "I-I don't know…"
"Yes you do. Now tell me."
"You wouldn't understand." He pushed her away in a sort of "no one would understand" manner.
Raven's lips pursed unseen under her hood. Why was it that no one thought she could understand? Just because she didn't show emotions very often didn't mean that she didn't understand how they worked. Why shouldn't she understand; she was an empathy for heaven's sake! Of course she knew exactly what was going on here!
She did have to flush herself out of all kinds of feelings everyday after all. She'd even dealt with love before, although that had been a total disaster. Stupid Malchoir…
"Robin what have you to gain from shutting yourself in here?"
"Safety." He said it short and plainly.
"From what?" she asked even though she already knew.
Her goal was to get Robin to say it out loud, just as she had done with Starfire.
"From losing everything."
Now they were getting somewhere!
"And that's what you're afraid of? Now tell me Robin, don't you lover her enough to risk all that?"
"But if something happens then…we'll lose more than just a chance at something great."
"And if everything goes fine then you and Starfire could possible be…" oh great, there was no way to end that sentence unsappy; she couldn't bear it, "…together forever right?"
What was she saying! Together forever? That was so cliché…
"There is no way this could screw up. She loves you Robin and—look at me, look at me Robin," she grabbed him by both shoulders and forced him to turn, "—you are missing it."
He shoved her away as if he hadn't heard a word of it, "Are you done now?"
She stood up and stared at him. How could he still be so much in denial?
"I need…I need to think. And you promised."
Yes she had promised, and a promise was a promise. So without another word, she turned toward the door and opened it, closing it behind her to once again enclose Robin within his solitude. He was on his own now.
§§§
Things were quiet now. Starfire's crying had ceased days ago, but her now preferred silence was so unnerving that all of Titan Tower would've rather faced her tears. Like a flood, a mixture of anger and morose had spread through the other three Titans: anger because there was absolutely no reason that all of this should have been happening and morose because nobody but Robin could do anything about it and he was refusing to even speak to anyone.
The smell of cookies could be sensed drifting sadly from the kitchen oven. Starfire might have given up talking, but she hadn't given up on her now habitual routine of cooking and delivering Robin's meals.
"Why do you keep doing that?" Beastboy had asked her once.
The silence he received had been so dripping with melancholy that he had slowly edged out the door without saying anything.
While the Beastboy and Cyborg battled the urge to barrage down Robin's door (under Raven's orders), Starfire was bantering with her own battle in her head, If only I had confessed sooner. He did not accept me because he must of…after he pushed me…he must not like me in that way anymore.
She sighed (the closest thing she did to speaking) and opened up the oven, practically life-less as she slid the cookie pan out. It was pretty depressing to watch, the reason why everyone had decided to leave her alone. Even Raven, after she had told the two boys to stay out of the matter, wasn't doing anything but meditating, hoping that soon Robin would come to his senses. With narrow, unfocused eyes, Starfire transferred the cookies to a plate, limply picked it up, and treaded up the stairs.
§§§
The three hardest things to say to anyone with true significance are:
I need help
I'm sorry
I love you
Robin had already screwed up his chance to say the first one when he'd rejected Raven's advice. As for the other two…
I'm getting sick of this room…if I ever get the chance, I'm going to redecorate it until it doesn't look even remotely like it does now.
He looked around his room, placing his hands behind his head as he laid down on his back. He was going to have to redecorate anyway, what with the huge hole in his ceiling. Now what color would he change the walls to? How about…purple? He pictured what his room would look like with purple walls. For some reason it made him ache inside.
What about red?
But that color seemed to make him feel empty.
Green?
This color gave him a pain in his chest, a twisting in his stomach.
Oh shoot he realized, I can't get her out of my mind...
He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Why couldn't this have happened some other time, like after he'd come up with a plan to sweep Starfire off her feet, unlike he'd done in reality. It wasn't fair really. It wasn't fair that it all happened on accident. He hadn't expected it to occur and he had panicked.
This is your fault you know. If you had listened to Raven then maybe she could have forgiven you. Now it's been too long and she probably hates you.
Great, yet another predicament he'd gotten himself into. He was starting to think he was a magnet for unlucky dispositions. After all the things he'd done to her…and then a thought struck him. All that had happened more or less had taken place because he hadn't done something. Something that he could still do even if it was too late.
Yes! He'd go now; get the idea out of his system before his mind took another spin and decided to change its verdict. It seemed crazy, even to himself, but then again, everybody's got to do at least one crazy thing in life right? Something close to a short adrenaline burst rushed through him as he stood up and reached for the door.
§§§
Her feet felt heavy, just as they had always felt going up those steps, going down this hallway to his room, ever since….it had happened. That was all she was referring it to, she was still having a hard time swallowing that she'd been rejected. The cookies felt burdensome in her hands, as if it were a weight containing all of the problems she was struggling with in her thoughts (she probably would've fallen over trying to hold it if that was true). Staring down at the cookies didn't make her feel better and besides….she'd get the cookies wet if she hung her head over them like that. She began to lift her head, dimly aware that she could hear a clicking noise somewhere in front of her.
For several whole seconds she stopped breathing and she could've sworn that her heart had stopped as well. There he stood, just as equally surprised to see her. Whether or not he had come out to see her didn't know, but apparently he hadn't expected to see her right outside his door. For awhile all they could do was stare at each other and then…
You idiot! You made her cry! Robin slapped his hand on his forehead.
Starfire's tears grew more strenuous as he stood there, hitting himself on the head, blaming himself for the umpteenth time.
Through quiet sobs, her arms shaking, she held the plate out to carry out the task she had come here to do in the first place, "W-would you…would you like a cookie?"
Robin ceased bashing himself and looked at her, the small rivers running down her cheeks growing with each word. She was putting a lot of effort into just speaking and she had begun to bite her lip. Ever so carefully, he extended out his hand and picked one up gingerly, as if taking one too harshly would cause her to drop the whole plate (although she could've done that on her own what with the amount she was shaking).
This was it, "Starfire? I'm—"
He gulped. No! He couldn't get cold feet now!
She had opened her eyes now, and was looking at him through the water in her eyes still pouring out.
Come on already, he had to do it or he was going to become insane with the guilt, "I'm…I'm sorry."
And she cried even harder at this. Was that it? He was sorry. Sure she was happy that he didn't hate her but what about even further than that? Did he still love her? Robin hated to see the tears stream down her face so freely but he smiled anyway, knowing what would make her feel instantly better, and cupped her cheek in his hand, wiping away the tears with his thumb.
"Starfire, will you marry me?"
At his words it seemed that a dam broke loose and Starfire cried so viciously and noiselessly that she actually trembled even more than before.
She whispered to him, "Yes please."
The plate fell to the floor and she threw herself into his arms which he immediately tightened around her. Finally! He didn't even care that his shirt was thoroughly soaked. HE'D JUST ASKED STARFIRE TO MARRY HER! AND SHE'D SAID YES!
He began to stroke her hair as the tears stopped flowing, the strands soft under his fingers, a small grin on his face, "You know Star…I don't think our first kiss was done properly."
She looked up at him, eyes sparkling.
He continued, still smiling, "I'm all up for trying again if you want."
He was aware of the distance between them growing smaller as he said this.
Gosh, she's beautiful.
Then he was aware that there was no more space between them at all, and it was just him and her and nothing else mattered. He didn't care if they fell off the edge of the Earth like this, since really that was what it felt like. One hand had moved to her face while the other was tightening around her waist. She had hooked her arms around his neck, standing on tiptoe to do so. If Robin could smash one law of science, he'd get rid of the rule that said humans needed to breathe which, sadly, he couldn't.
They broke apart, breathing in and out deeply, not letting go of each other. They looked at each other for awhile, almost delirious with the truth that the kiss had really happened and it hadn't been some dream. Starfire appeared convinced and let her eyes close, sleepy from her crying.
She rested her head on his chest where he placed a hand on the back of her head and whispered into her ear, "I love you."
He didn't mind that behind the corner of the hall, three heads peeked out, the lowest and greenest one holding up a camera and pushing the trigger. For now, he just kept holding onto the sleeping Tamaranian in his arms.
/-squeals-/- I finished it! And I couldn't stop laughing I was so hyper. I was hyper throughout the entire end of this piece and my sister wouldn't stop staring at me and edging away. Lol Hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did. Criticisms are always welcome but absolutely NO flaming me because of ship choice. If you do then I boo you! -/-sticks tongue out-/- Now I need to go and write the next chap of Duplicity's Era. See ya!
Signing off,
Neriede
