Disclaimer:
Haiku: We don't own Trigun, Barney, Mad Max Three: Beyond Thunderdome, Star Wars, The Weakest Link, The Apprentice, or Winnie the Pooh.
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Haiku: (sigh) It sure is quiet without the twins around.
NDG: Chris, yeah. Tsato, ye- Wait-a-second! Whaddya mean! Tsato NEVER talked!
DK: (Crying) I wanna go to San Francisco too!
NDG: Oh, yeah. Me and Haiku let some girls in your grade come over... They said something about wanting to help out.
DK: WHAT? WHO!
Haiku: About ten of 'em. I don't know their names though.
DK: (Pales) WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST. SAY?
Haiku: Er, you're not deaf y'know.
NDG: Oh! Now I remember where I'd seen them before! They're his 'fan club'. Or at least that's what I call them.
DK: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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We see a room with a couch, comfortable looking recliners, numerous tables (with evil plans on them). A blue-haired man is sitting erect on a chair and a navy-haired DK: NAVY? NGD & Haiku: Do you ever even watch the show?. man is lounging on a couch looking bored.
"AAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD ACTION!" Zazie
(yawn) Wolfwood
"I SAID (louder) 'AAAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDD ACTION!'" Zazie
"Not today. Today we are waiting for the Master. He's going to select a new
Gung-Ho-Gun, or at least he hopes to. There are four candidates. The Master will introduce them." Legato
(Irritated) "Well, when will the Master get here?" Zazie
"The Master will hopefully be here shortly, but never poke fun at his lateness." Legato
"Whatever." Zazie
(Walks in) Knives
"AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNDDDDDD... We're live." (Leaves) Zazie
"Hello and welcome to today's show! I'm your host- Nicholas D. Wolfwood. And (points to Legato) this is just some Crazy-homeless guy who wandered in here from off of the streets! Oh, and (points to Knives) this lunatic is Millions Knives." Wolfwood
"I'm not a 'this'." Legato
"Address me as Master, or your spider friends shall suffer." Knives
"They do and I quit the Gung-Ho Guns" Wolfwood
A hushed silence is heard around Gunsmoke.
"You wouldn't." knives
"Wanna test that theory?" Wolfwood
"Don't challenge me, CHAPEL." (Smirk) Knives
"ENOUGH! JUST GO THROUGH THE CANDIDATE SCREENING ALREADY! (mumbling) We're gonna lose viewers here." Zazie
Knives sighs and leads Wolfwood and Legato to an obstacle course where four people (Er- BEINGS) are already lined up.
"Okay. You all shall go through— ONE AT A TIME! See if your simple minds can comprehend that. Okay! You first.(Knives points to a white-haired midget.) What is your name?" Knives
"I'm Master, and I rule over Barter Town. Blaster is my assistant, although if you remember correctly, you wouldn't let him come along!" Master
"What a coincidence! My name is Master too! Just on thing, one day i8 shall rule over you! (insert evil, maniacal laugh) You're FIRED!" Knives
Master begins walks away, but is shot down by Kain.
"Next is you!" Knives
As Knives points to a large, purple, dinosaur-like being, it begins to sing! How lucky for Knives!
(Singing and doing a disturbed little dance) "I love you! You love me! We're a happy fam-a-lie! With a great big hug, and a kiss from me-to-you, won't you say you love me too!" Barney
"Here's a good one! I hate you! You hate me! Let's gang up and KILL BARNEY! With a GREAT BIG GUN! And a SAMURAI SWORD! No more retard dinosaur! How do you like that one?" Knives
Barney stands there for a few seconds in stunned silence, but then realizes the severity of the disturbing scene that just took place right before his eyes, and runs away. But, sadly enough, he trips and falls. When he tries to get up Rei-Dae slashes him with his sword (hence the song), and Kain also shoots him (HENCE THE SONG!).
(Sigh) "All that, and only two candidates left." Knives
One of the candidates realizes that his fate is probably like that of the others, and tries to sneak away... Only to be stopped by Knives.
"Now, now, now, where do you think YOU are going, troll-spider? Hmmmmm?" Knives
"Needing to get back to the Temple, I am." Yoda
"No, you aren't (mimicking Yoda) needing to get back to the temple. YOU are needing to DIE!" Knives
Yoda runs away but halfway back to his ship is shot by Kain.
"DAMMIT! DAMMIT ALL! I need more beings!" Knives
"Um, may I please leave now, I really wanted to get some honey to have for breakfast tomorrow morning." Pooh
"LEAVE? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're not going anywhere! You're in!" Knives
"Ummmmmm..." Pooh
Knives walks away with Pooh, all the while telling him about his new job.
"Well, that just about concludes today. Thanks for joining us all! Tune in next time!" Wolfwood
"Goodnight." Legato
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NDG: Goodbye!
Haiku: Bye now!
DK: Y'all come back now, y'hear!
Haiku: Ummmmm...
NDG: I'm not even gonna ask...
