Author's Note: This chapter is a little on the graphic side. Do not flame me for it (and please don't report me…); this chapter has been rated R for a very good reason. It should be rated higher, but I made it as un-graphic as possible while still making it as best detailed as I could. This is what it came out as, and I'm very happy with it. Lime is the best you'll find in this, though maybe a little more. I'd hardly call this a lemon; even if it was, it's not a good one.
Also, a note to the ones who review this story solely for the purpose of telling me to move my ass on others: It's not funny, it's not cute, and in fact it'll only encourage me to ignore you and the other stories. I will not be pushed in any way, especially in my writing. I'll do what I want, when I want, and if you seriously feel the need to tell me to get a move on, do it politely in a review for that story. I know that it's severely unsatisfying to the readers for a writer to stop before the end of the story, but I'm having a lot of difficulty finding closure for all this. So I'm sorry, I know how it feels, but you'll just have to wait.
Chapter Four: Stolen Innocence
She loved his kisses. They were full of passion and love for her. His kisses spoke to her, tried to convey a message from his heart that words couldn't say. It was a message only for her ears, for her heart. It seemed an impossible communication.
"Kagome,"
"You would never leave me, would you?"
"Never… No one can take me from you."
A neck offered to his hungry, seeking lips, feeling the blood rush faster through her veins.
"Inuyasha!"
"You are mine, do you hear me? No one else can ever have you!"
"Kagome!"
Slowly, she opened her eyes. At first she was still in the vivid flashback that tormented her every waking and dreaming moment. But it wasn't Inuyasha's clawed hands that held her close. Kouga was tenderly kissing her face and trying to sooth away a pain he didn't understand, let alone see. With a blush Kagome realized that Kouga was still on top of her, their bodies still intimately entwined. The surrounding room did not belong to her, the suffocating sheets not her own. Kagome remembered that they'd gone to Kouga's apartment this time.
"It's not real, whatever you saw. You're safe with me." Kouga said quietly.
Kagome wanted to cry. She wasn't safe with Kouga, and she never would be. He didn't know this secret, and she never wanted to tell him. There was only one person she needed to see, and if the pulsing on her neck was any indication, he'd be waiting for her to call.
EmFallen
The whole house was stuffy. Much too hot to sleep in. Outside the porch was cool and calming, the winter air feeling good against his overheated body. Of course, it wasn't him that felt that way, he knew. Kagome, wherever she was, needed him.
"Inuyasha?"
Kikyo's voice floated down the stairs to reach his hanyou ears. She'd be worried if he stayed out here much longer. He'd have to make up some sort of lie so he could see Kagome. He could never forget that Kagome was his first priority, always. It was, after all, his fault. He hoped Kagome would call him to let him know where she was.
Inuyasha went back inside, closing the glass door as well as the screen door so that the house wouldn't get cold. Like an answer to his wishes, the phone rang. Briefly he told Kikyo he'd be right up.
Once he was sure she'd gone back to bed, he picked up the phone. "Where are you?"
"Leaving a friend's. Is it ok for me to come by?"
"No," Inuyasha said, feeling relief that he could hear her calm voice at the very least. "I'll meet you at the usual place, ok?"
"Ok," Kagome agreed, not able to keep the slight waver out of her words.
EmFallen
Shippou gingerly avoided laying flat or on his side. Pillows were strewn around his body to keep him at a tilted angle. He could see out of his window from where he was situated. Every time the kitsune heard Kikyo so much as roll over, he'd held his breath. She'd come out once, calling softly for Inuyasha, and Shippou's whole body had frozen.
Kikyo hadn't beaten him that long ago. For once she'd maintained the effort of restraint and merely slapped him around and shouted. The next morning she didn't apologize. Shippou hadn't expected her to. Instead, she banned him from calling Rin and hoped that was all it took. Neither had told Inuyasha, and no new booze stashed had been found.
Downstairs, Shippou could hear Inuyasha hang up the phone. Then came the jangling of keys and he came up the stairs. No doubt Shippou could hear the hanyou's every move. Kikyo woke to ask where he was going. For a minute, Inuyasha didn't respond.
When the kitsune could hear Inuyasha's footsteps halfway out of the bedroom door, Inuyasha stopped and told Kikyo, "Ginta and Hakkaku can't find Kouga, they're worried. The idiot is probably piss drunk and passed out, but they said they'd feel more comfortable if I tried my luck finding the bastard. I won't be gone long."
Kikyo muffled a goodbye and told him to be careful before Shippou heard his father traipsing downstairs. Should he have told his father that Kouga was most likely at Kagome's? The kit didn't enjoy the prospect of Inuyasha finding out, but it'd be better than his own son telling him. Wearily, Shippou closed his eyes and attempted sleep once more.
EmFallen
Kagome waited anxiously for Inuyasha to arrive, continuously covering the pulsing invisible scar on her neck. All around her the world was slow and dark, cloaked in silence that was deafening. When she got back from Kouga's, she hadn't turned any lights on. Kouga hadn't been happy that she'd left with no excuse, or that they hadn't finished their sinful romp in his bed.
Her thoughts were cut off when headlights brightened the living room briefly. Kagome could barely contain her growing excitement and anticipation. The scar on her neck felt as though someone were pinching it. Before Inuyasha could announce his presence with the doorbell, Kagome let him in. The guilty look on his face tore at her heart, as well as the responsibility she knew he felt for her.
"We can't keep things the way they are…" Kagome blurted in place of greeting.
"What do you propose we do then? We sure as hell can't tell anyone!" Inuyasha snapped. Kagome flinched, and he instantly regretted the attitude lacing his words. "I'm sorry."
"I know," Kagome wondered if he was apologizing for the outburst or something else.
"I can't leave her." He looked apologetically at her, almost asking forgiveness.
She shook her head. Maybe he had been apologizing for both. "I don't want to talk about it. I didn't even want to bring it up."
Inuyasha closed the door behind him and pulled her close. He immediately sense the change in her scent, imitating the mood Kagome felt. The hanyou felt the tears falling on his hand, but he didn't panic like he used to so long ago. Kagome always cried when he held her this way, when she was reminded so harshly of their past.
EmFallen
Shippou felt the strong urge to continue trying to sleep, but his bruises prevented any comfort he might have found in his warm bed. So, wincing at any fast movement, Shippou was sitting at his computer. He unplugged the speakers so he wouldn't wake his mother, and then turned it on. Upon checking his email, he found a heartfelt letter from Rin.
'You aren't telling me a lot of things, Shippou, and I'm not ok with that. I've been around you long enough to know when something's bothering you, and normally that something is seriously wrong. I may not be your best friend, I may be just a cousin to you, and you might not even want to talk to me after… well, that, but please. From me to you, tell me how to help you. Tell me what to do to make whatever's wrong right, and I will. I'll do whatever I can to make it right.'
He felt so compelled to call her. He needed to tell her it wasn't her fault that she couldn't fix it but he was extremely touched… but he couldn't. If Kikyo found out, she would not go easy on him this time.
EmFallen
Inuyasha kissed her salty tears away; soothing her the way Kouga had miserably failed at. Kagome stopped crying eventually, though it still hurt his heart to smell the lingering scent of her tears. He knew she wouldn't speak again for a while, but he was ok with that. He didn't need her to say anything at all.
"You guys are the perfect couple!"
Kagome shuddered from the voice of memory, as well as from Inuyasha's wet, open-mouthed kisses down her neck. They had been the perfect couple; no one ever saw them seriously fight, and for all intensive purposes, they looked so obviously in love. Inuyasha's kisses passed the invisible mark and she longed for him to sink his fangs in once more. But he passed the mark up in favor of her collar bone. He used his claws to pop the buttons off her shirt, exposing her chest and sending the little circles of plastic flying across the carpet.
The blush across Kagome's face was burning her cheeks. The hanyou had a predatory smirk on his face that was hiding a genuine smile and a hot blush not unlike her own. His fingers were soft and gentle on her skin, his lips feeling hot where they came in contact with flesh.
Inuyasha pulled her up to meet his face halfway, giving her a passionate kiss. He didn't want to ruin her skirt like he had with her shirt, so he left that barrier there for the time being. He trailed the claws of his right hand up her left leg, using his left arm to hold her close to his chest while half sprawling her on his lap. They still hadn't turned on any lights and he didn't expect to even want to; the living room was softly illuminated in an orange glow from the streetlights that made her eyes sparkle with the damp aftermath of the tears.
When he came to her panties, he felt the familiar longing for her, to feel her. But he forced himself to remember that she shouldn't be his to feel or to want. It was wrong for him to do this, it was unfaithful. If only he knew how alike a situation he had to his son.
It felt unbelievable right. They were both so inexperienced, but together it was an opportunity to learn. Kagome was writhing at his touch, something alien to her virgin flesh. Her scandalous school skirt was almost no obstacle at all, so he left it alone. Kagome pry wouldn't feel very comfortable removing cloths at all, despite his having seen various parts of her body before. With the tips of his claws he moved her panties to the side, Kagome clutching his shirt tightly in one fist.
Her moans of pleasure were nothing new to him, yet still enjoyable. Inuyasha tried hard to keep his claws from being painful to her, which was hard because it used a lot of his concentration. The hanyou thought it was strange that Kagome was so immediately responsive so early in the game.
He cut her pleasure short and put his fingers up to his nose. There was a scent of someone he recognized… With a possessive growl, he pinned her with his body to the plush white carpet, his shirt brushing her bare chest and making her arch her back.
"Kagome," he said to catch her attention. She looked up slowly though thick black eyelashes. "You know that you are mine." It wasn't a question, though she nodded anyway. He felt the jealousy surge strongly through his veins. "Then why do I smell wolf on you?"
Kagome knew there was no getting out of it. She couldn't help but feel the growing pinprick of fear, though she tried hard to force it away. There was no excuse for Kouga's scent being where it was other than the truth she'd failed to tell him. She knew he could literally smell her fear.
"You belong to me and no one else! Do you understand me?"
Kagome whimpered in fear. Inuyasha's eyes were changing from their familiar golden to a predatory red. As part of an ancient line of mikos and priests, Kagome could see the loss of control, the surrender to the enraged demon coursing anew through his blood. His claws grew longer and sharper, digging into her sides where he held her. His fangs became sharper and just long enough to graze his bottom lip. Kagome wanted to get away. She wanted to scream and cry, but all she could do was stare in shock.
"Inuyasha…" she whispered. "Not now, please, don't do this."
"Not now, please, later." Kagome mumbled. She had the grace to look ashamed of herself.
Inuyasha tightened his grip on her and shook her hard, eliciting a whimper. "No, now! Why is Kouga's scent on you?!"
He knew by more than just her scent that he was scaring her. But he couldn't understand why she would look for comfort in Kouga when all she had to do was call him. Didn't she understand? She was his responsibility, and no one else's! There would be no man on earth that could ever be with her the way he could. Kagome was his, and she had the mark to prove it.
"Kagome, I'm asking you! Why—,"
"Then don't ask me!" Kagome cried.
Inuyasha froze, though he couldn't understand why. Kagome buried her face in his shirt, knowing that no matter how much he hated her he would never be able to turn her away. The hanyou caught the scent of tears once again, but made no attempt to stop her crying.
"I couldn't stay alone, Inuyasha! I couldn't keep knowing that you went home to Kikyo, to a son, to a family, and I have only an empty house!"
Inuyasha's ears flattened close to his silver hair both in shame and at the sharp loudness of her voice. "What else could we do?" he whispered. "What else was there as an option? All you have to do if you want to be with someone is to call—,"
Kagome cut him off. "I don't want to have to call you to let you know I need you! I don't want just this, just what you're comfortable with. I need someone, Inuyasha. You could have left her! You could be my family because you know it's what I deserve."
"You don't deserve it if it's not her fault, too!" Inuyasha snapped, suddenly as angry as she must have felt she was. After all, was it not Kikyo who drew him away from Kagome, who said she needed him more than life itself?
Kagome slapped him. "Then you should have controlled yourself when it mattered most!"
Inuyasha flinched as her words hit their target, and it was Kagome's turn to regret her words. But she couldn't find regret for them. It hurt her heart as much as it hurt his to say what she had, but it was the truth. She'd felt it all these long years of hiding it all, and even had it been Kikyo's fault for the person missing in her life, she couldn't justify it like he could.
"Stop it! Stop, please!" But saying 'stop' just wasn't working. Nothing was.
When Inuyasha broke through the only slightly yielding virgin barrier, Kagome wanted to scream bloody murder. But the hanyou had covered her mouth and effectively muffled any scream or cry for help. His actions to her body became no less painful. It didn't even lessen to a tolerable level of pain. Each new thrust of his hips to meet hers sent a spasm of pinching pain through to her abdomen.
"I forgive you, Inuyasha. I offered you my body and you took it. I forgive you." Kagome said, her constricting throat made it hard to speak, but she had to make sure he knew he was forgiven. "I forgive you!"
His ears flattened to his head like they usually did when he'd been caught doing something bad. When it seemed as if there was no end of his demon nature, Kagome felt him turn back to his familiar hanyou self. She couldn't see him because she kept her eyes closed tight, but his claws shortened and he seemed to freeze for a minute before resuming his pace. His hand came off her mouth, but Kagome made no sound to announced her continuous pain or to call for help. She knew he was fighting himself to regain control.
They seemed at the end of things as Inuyasha began to speed up. Kagome was still feeling the pain, but she'd become dull to it. Inuyasha was clearly still fighting off his demon nature. Then he did something unexpected.
Brushing away her soft raven hair, he exposed her neck. Kagome had kept her eyes closed, but curiosity forced them open in time to see Inuyasha lick the side of her neck tentatively. He was completely himself, but Kagome knew this was an instinctive gesture. She hoped he wouldn't cave into it.
But all her hopes were dashed when the demon once again rose to take control. Inuyasha made not even the slightest fight against his instinct as he bit into her neck. Kagome gasped from the pain, but was silenced gently when he put his palm to her mouth. She tasted blood; he'd cut himself. At that thought she was almost revolted. Yet still she lapped at the blood, completing the bond.
"What about you?" Inuyasha said, no accusation in his voice. "You accepted the blood. Why didn't you stop me or try to escape?"
Kagome shook her head. "I was tired of fighting you. I was tired of that pain."
"Where was that legendary miko power when you needed it most?" Inuyasha chided wearily. His voice was still soft.
"You're one to talk. Where was your human side when you needed it most? That everlasting control you like to brag about so much? Does Kikyo know--," At the mention of his wife, Inuyasha growled and his eyes flashed red, forcing Kagome to fall silent or risk letting his demon side take over.
EmFallen
Shippou paced between his bed and the door. He couldn't sleep, and he wanted so badly to call Rin, to tell her what her letter had meant to him. It was close to being four in the morning, but he was sure she'd hear her cell phone. No way would he try calling her house phone when Sesshoumaru had the attributes of a demon. His uncle could be scarier than his mother in a way. Finally, Shippou devised a plan; he would go over to Kagome's in the morning so that she could help him find the words to tell Rin what exactly had been going on. Finding comfort in his new resolve, he dropped down on his bed (immediately wincing with his carelessness), and fell asleep, exhausted.
EmFallen
To Be Continued…
