A/N: Allow me to once again point out that this is not my story. As a matter of fact, if this was my story, I would be a millionaire and would not need to post parodies of my own story on the internet for people to read. ::coughs:: But anyway, I was up until two am last night writing parodies for all the song (Roxanne is VERY hard to do) and I am good up through Your Song for sure, so I am going to get a move on.

When we last left everyone they were preparing to head for the Moulin Rouge. Christian has on his cheap suit and was six seconds away from stepping out the door when Toulouse stopped him

(Toulouse): Wait!

Everyone pauses

(The doctor): What?

(Toulouse): We are not drunk yet! You cannot go to the Moulin unless you are drunk!

Everyone nods in reflection

Toulouse hands Christian some Absinthe

(Christian): What is this?

(Toulouse): Only the most marvelous creation spawned by man, Christian, Absinthe

(Christian): Oh.

Everyone drinks the Absinthe and are greeted by the green fairy

(Green Fairy): Hello. I am the green..

(TwystedFate): Moving on! Next scene!

(Green Fairy): Why does everyone always skip this scene or mock me quite badly when they parody this musical?

(Satie): You do not want to know.

(Green Fairy): Oh.

(TwystedFate): So everyone piled onto a double Decker bus and rode to the Moulin Rouge

The Bohos and Christian enter the Moulin to be greeted by a very large song and dance number

(Girls): Voulez vous coucher avec moi? Ce soir? We do not know why you would want to sleep with us, we are not exactly pretty, but go for it!

We see Zidler, rouge and all, dancing and singing

(Zidler): Life sucks and is boring! And living is not fun! Neither is death! So you can come here! And be in between! At the Moulin Rouge!

(Girls): Voulez vous coucher avec moi? Ce soir?

(Drunk men): No!

Everyone cheers

The eyes of Christian eyes widen

(Christian): This is.(screamed) great!

(More drunk men): Here we are now! Entertain us! We are stupid! And contagious!

(Zidler): Feeling pretty good? Yet you are misunderstood? Come here! We will be here too! Wheeeeeeee!

(Men): Here we are now! Entertain us! We are drunk! And not at all courageous!

Everyone sings randomly

The song ends

Christian and the Bohos sit at a table

Christian looks around

(Christian): So have any of you talked to this Satine lady?

(Toulouse): Why, yes.

(TwystedFate): And just as Toulouse was about to say something vitally important, another song stood in their way

Satine comes down from the sky on a swing, looking seductive

(Satine): The Japanese are glad to die for love

Because they have big swords

But I prefer a man who wins

And has a blue rocked horde

A kiss on the cheek may be quite shique

But aquamarines are the best friend of a girl!

A kiss may be grand

But it will not pay the fine

On your plasma screen TV

Or those pills you use to ease your mind!

Men grow cold when their girls grow old

And we all grow cold in the end!

But octagon cut or pyramid shape,

These gems do not have a for sure shape!

Aquamarines are the best friend of a girl!

(Toulouse) Before I was so RUDELY interrupted..anyway, I have arranged a private meeting for you and miss Satine after this performance!

(Christian): Alone?

(Zidler, to the random Duke man): Yes random Duke, totally alone

(TwystedFate): And now Satine sings again..::gags::

(Satine): Cause we are living in a money crazed world!

And I do not care!

Light blue!

Dark blue!

Medium blue!

Plain blue!

Talk to me Harry Zidler and tell me something I do not know!

There may come a time when a lass needs a shrink!

But aquamarines are the best friend of a girl!

There may come a time when your kitchen sink

Clogs up real nice *squeak*

But get that plumber or else no dice!

An interlude ensues as Satine talks to Zidler

(Satine): Is that the duke?

(Zidler): Yes.

(Satine): That looks like a low budget writer, not a duke

(Zidler): I am always right.

(Satine): Oh yeah. (sings):

Cause that is when those freaks go back to their geeks diamonds blah blah blah Satine faints..everyone goes "awwwwww"..you know

Satine is now talking to Zidler behind some..cancan girl skirts

(Satine): What is his type?

(Zidler): Got anything crappy and in the color mauve? Perhaps with lights on it?

Satine nods

(Zidler): Then use that.

Satine sneaks out the back way and is suddenly in the elephant, getting dressed

Zidler comes in

Satine is wearing her mauve dress now. It is long and mauve and has Christmas lights duct taped all over it

(Satine): Is this crappy enough for you?

(Zidler): Whee! You have got to be quick, the girls can't stall for much longer!

(Satine): If you will excuse me, I am going to go to the Moulin now

(Zidler): Do you live there?

(Satine): I am not sure. No one has ever told me if I do or not..I suppose I do.

(Zidler): Alrighty..hey..wait..you are in the Moulin now.

(Satine): I am? I thought I was just on the grounds of the Moulin!

(Zidler): Yes, you are.

(Satine): This is very unprofessional of me. How do I make it look professional?

(Zidler): Leave. Then just go into the Moulin and look sexy. The duke will never suspect a thing.

(Satine): Harold, I still am convinced that that is a low budget writer.

(Zidler): Just go.

Satine goes back to the Moulin where Christian is waiting

A/N: I have satisfied my lust for annoying-ness now..I just hafta type up "Your Game of Pong" and then chapter 4 will be up! My apologies to any Japanese who were offended!