A/N: Alright, this is an attempt that will only go as far as Spectacular! Spectacular! (That's what I like to think though, so if it shows up don't be surprised, I never keep promises to myself, ROFLMAO) I tried playing with Spectacular! Spectacular! And I couldn't really get into it.(Then again when you've already replaced "Roxanne" with "Bedpan" you KNOW you need s'more mental help).but I'll be glad to keep trying. Okay.

(TwystedFate): When we last left our.people.Satine was swooning.

(Satine): *Swoon*!!!

(Christian): What's that? Is that good?

(Satine): Yes, yes it is. Wow. I can't believe that I'm in love with a talented, handsome, hunk o' manliness duke!

(Christian): Hey! I thought you loved ME! Show me this duke so I can kill him.

(Satine): But Toulouse said that you were a duke.

(Christian, looking at his clothes): I am? Me?

Christian begins to cackle, rolling on the floor laughing

(Satine): So you're just another one of Toulouse's drunken friends?

(Christian): Maybe. I'm not drunk.and I don't know if I'm his friend.but if you want me to be one then okay! Anything for you!

(Satine): *Squeak*!!! Oh NO! I think I will kill Toulouse with a large loaf of bread!

(TwystedFate): Luckily, as soon as Satine was taking a large loaf of French bread out of her pocket with which to batter Toulouse, there came an opening of the door.

(Satine): *Squeak*!!! The REAL duke! Hiiiiiiiiiide!

Christian ducks behind a large cardboard cutout of a toaster strudel (don't ask me, I'm tired here, LMAO) and breathes slowly, staring at the Duke through glazed over eyes

(Satine, obviously angry): Harold! This is certainly a surprise!

(Zidler): I know, isn't it great! I'll leave you two now to make love!

(Duke): Make love?

(Satine): Don't you have a name? There has to be a name other than Duke.

(Duke): Well, my mother called me Sugarbottom.

(Satine): ANYTHING else?

(Duke): No.

(Satine): Then I'll stick with.Duke.

(Duke): Okay. A kiss on the cheek may be quite sheique!

(Satine, still sounding sexy): But you'd better back away before I kill you!

The Duke takes a hurried step back

(Duke): I've funded your plays! I've attended your plays! I've put up with you crappy singing voice! (here he coughs) So will you do me a favor?

(Satine): What is it?

(Duke): Will you.sleep with me?

(Satine): Ewwwwwww! No! Not with a man named Sugarbottom!

(All of Paris): Sugarbottom?

(Duke): Shut up. My mommy loved me!

(Satine): Did not!

(Christian, from behind the cardboard pastry): *snicker*

(TwystedFate): You're going to blow her cover!

(Christian): So? This is great! I wish I had a camera!

TwystedFate produces a camera and throws it at the cardboard cutout

(Christian): Whee!

Christian sticks the lens between two layers of flaky pastry and hits 'record'

(TwystedFate): Anyway, now Satine has to cover for Christian, who is filming this all from behind a large cardboard cutout of a toaster strudel

(Satine): I hope you don't mind!

I hope you don't mind!

That I sang this so off key!

Just for the love of you burning deep within me!

(Duke): Wow.that's sheer poetry! I wish I could write poetry like that!

(Satine): Maybe if your name wasn't Sugarbottom.

(TwystedFate): Hahahaha Sugarbottom.hahahahahaha.

(Duke): Leave me alone about it gosh darn it!

(Satine): That song will be in our play!

(Duke): There's a play?

(Satine): Yes! A play! And we call it.Parole! Parole!

(Duke): That sound so strange I may just like it!

(Satine): Yes well.why don't you go to your room.Sugarbottom.(here she makes a small gagging noise) and then we'll go over it tomorrow!

Satine shoves the Duke out the door and turns to the large cardboard cutout of a toaster pastry

(Satine): Do you have any idea.you know.I hate these fainting scenes. Can we just skip to the "getting discovered" part?

(Christian, emerging from behind the cardboard cutout): Okay.

Satine flops down onto the bed and Christian is halfway across the room about to break into a dead run for the bed when.Sugarbottom.comes back.

(Sug.er..Duke): I forgot my hat! What is this? It looks as if you're about to run across the room and jump on top of her to make love! My god! I suppose just rolling around isn't enough? And who is this boy? And why is there a large cardboard cutout of a toaster pastry in the corner? And why is there a camera in it?

(Christian): Because it's Tuesday.

(Duke): Oh. That makes sense.

(Christian): Doesn't it just?

(Duke): Wait.where's Zidler? It seems as if he needs to be here!

(Zidler, right on cue): Sugarbottom! Let's go to my office so you can buy Parole! Parole!

(Satine): *coughs*

(Duke): What's the story about?

(Zidler): Story?

(Duke): Yes the story.

(Zidler): Oh. That. Toulouse, you tell 'em.

Toulouse and all the Bohos come into the room slowly

(Toulouse): It's about.Absinthe!

(Christian): Is not! It's about love! Love overcoming all obstacles!

(Toulouse): Yes! And it's set it Switzerland!

(Christian): Switzerland? Nooooo. It's set in.Los Vegas, Nevada!

(Duke): Vegas?

(Christian): Yes! Vegas! There's a courtesan! The most beautiful burned-to- a-crisp-by-Christmas-lights courtesan in all the world! But she got caught smuggling drugs over the Mexico border line and was in jail! And the jail is invaded by an EVIL (here he stares blatantly at Sugarbottom) parole officer! And the only way to get out of jail is to seduce the EVIL (once again a blatant look at the Duke) parole officer! But, on the night of the seduction, she mistakes a penniless.penniless blackjack dealer for her parole officer! The blackjack dealer wasn't trying to trick her or anything, but he was dressed as a parole officer so HE could smuggle drugs over the Mexican borderline!

(Argentinean): I'll be the penniless blackjack dealer because I can!

(Duke): Alrighty. What happens next?

(Christian): Why, the courtesan and the blackjack dealer must hide their undying love for one another!

(Satie): And the blackjack dealer's.pair of fuzzy dice is magical! It can only speak the truth!

(Toulouse): You're going to make me be the pair of fuzzy dice, aren't you?

Everyone nods

(Duke): And so he gives the game away, eh?

(Satine): Do you want him to?

(Duke): Yes.

(Satine): Then he does.

(Zidler): Tell Sugarbottom about the can-can!

(Christian): No.

(Zidler): Fine, then I will. It's an erotic scene that captures the vile, vice ridden, diseased world Bohemians live in! It will be: Parole! Parole!

A/N: I have typer's crap.err.cramp. Allow me to recuperate (and write out this song) and then I'll add!