A/N: Once again, sorry I haven't updated lately! I just got out of the operation on my tooth and due to the excessive amounts of painkillers they used on me I am considered legally drunk only without the drinking. So here's my best shot!

(TwystedFate): Hello. And welcome back to Dinner and some Linner. Tonight we're watching the fabulous..

(Christian): Lets get this going already!

(TwystedFate): Alright. When we last left these lovely and beautiful *deliberate stare at Christian* people, they had just concluded practicing 'come bob's pay' for the duke in the hopes that he would include it in the show. Nini? How'd you get here? I thought we'd banned..

Nini slaps TwystedFate and hustles over to the Duke

(Nini): This makes no sense! Why would the prostitute choose the damn stupid and ugly writer? Oops, I mean..blackjack dealer?

(Duke): I think you may be trying to tell me something.

(Nini): Who? Me? Nah.

She clacks off, her stilettos echoing on the ground. The singing fades away as everyone looks at Sugarbottom.

(Duke): I don't like this ending.

(Toulouse, waddling down stairs dressed like a pair of giant fuzzy dice): But, what about the ideals it holds up?

(Duke): I don't care about ideals! All I want is money! Money money money! And it has to be MY money! Not YOURS, MINE. And I want it to be so that she accepts the parole officer and I want this song GONE.

(Christian): But I worked so hard on that song..

(Duke): I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

Everyone stares at the Duke.

(Satine): Why don't we get it on tonight?

(Duke): Okay.

The duke smiles brightly.

Satine wanders backstage.

Christian stands and runs after her.

(Christian): You can't get it on with him! You said you'd never get it on with anyone else except for that Bob man! And that famine of '89 just furthered my point with..

(Satine): Christian, babe, there was no famine in '89.

(Christian, flustered): Of course. But I don't want you to get it on with him tonight.

(Satine): And I still say that you promised.

(Christian): No.

(Satine): Come..Bob's..pay.

(Christian, grudgingly, rolling his eyes): Come Bob's pay.

As soon as Satine leaves, he collapses onto the ground, throwing a tantrum like a two year old.

Later we see Christian seated in a chair in the main room, clearly upset and uncomfortable.

(Nini): What's wrong, Shakespeare?

(Christian): Would you not call me that? And .. I'm upset because I need to use the restroom but all of them are out of order..

The Argentinean comes out of the shadows

(Argentinean): Restrooms? Never fall in love with a particular restroom, it will only end bad! We do this dance in Buenos Aries..

Christian cocks an eyebrow as Nini stares at him, eyes laughing.

(Argentinean): Tells the story of a bedpan and a man who grows accustomed to not sharing.

Nini comes up to him and they begin to dance

(Argentinean): First there is desire. Then passion. Suspicion, anger, betrayal. When restrooms are to the highest bidder, there can be no trust. Without trust, no restrooms. Jealousy, yes, jealousy, will drive you mad!

From out of nowhere a 554 piece orchestra falls from the sky and begins to play as they sing and dance.

(Argentinean): Bedpan!

You don't have to go out that cold night!

Stay out on cold evenings, you don't care if it's cold or if it is not.

Bedpan!

You don't have to go out tonight!

You don't have to sell yourself to the night!

Christian gets into the swing of things and joins in

(Christian): His eyes, upon your rim.

His hand, upon your side.

His lips, caress your base

Its more than I can face!

(Argentinean): Oh!

Christian begins to walk around, looking moody and mysterious in his black trenchcoat.

(Christian): Why does my stomach hurt?

Feelings I can't skirt!

You're free to use it

But just don't abuse it

And please, believe me when I say I did not misuse it!

We see Satine with the duke

(Satine): Let the old ending come back.

(Duke): Okay.

(Christian, walking outside and down the steps): Bedpan!

Why does my stomach hurt?

Feelings I can't skirt!

You're free to use it

But just don't abuse it

And please believe me when I say I did not misuse it!

He stops outside the balcony, staring up at Satine who is being stroked by the Duke

(Satine, singing down to him): Come Bob's pay!

Christian walks back to his garret, confused and dazed

The duke stares at Satine

(Duke): Now I see. Can I .. beat you up?

(Satine): No!

She grabs candelabra off the nearest table and begins to whack the Duke with it, uttering karate-like grunts

(Satine): Yah! Hiyah!

The duke gives her a weird look

(Duke): You scare me.

Satine kicks him in the back of his head with her stilettos

The duke collapses.

We see everyone as the camera goes from place to place

Everyone is screaming

We see a man in his hotel room peer out to see a background dancer on the ground outside his house, tap dancing.

He takes out his gun and 'practices'.

Everyone keeps dancing and singing

(All): BEDPAAAAAAAAAN!

Dramatic music plays as Christian screams and cries in his garret.

Choppy violin music plays and ends.

Satine stands and bolts for Christian's garret while the duke is still out cold, crying.

A/N: That's all that my legally drunk self can take for now, ROFLMAO. No reviews, no adding! Thanks guys!