A/N: I've been so busy working on my fictionpress account I completely forgot to give you all the parody you so wonderfully deserve, and I am sorry! weeps But, yes, its summer. However, I just got back from having major surgery (I had a bunion-ectomy. Yes, I'm only 15. Kids can have them too!) and so I have a lot of time to sit around and mope. So, I guess its as good a time as ever to finish this baby up, neh? So, so sorry guys. Really, I am. sob again Will you forgive me? Please ... say you will! :O ...Anyway...

(TwystedFate): So. Now Toulouse knows the truth about Satine and Christian, and he feels he must warn Christian before he faces certain death backstage at the hand of Warner, aka. Mr. Clean-looking-man. clears throat

Christian bustles down the hall, panting, tripping over his own feet as he bursts into Satine's dressing room, where she sits in a swivel chair, petting a bald cat, her back to Christian.

(Christian): SATINE!!!!!!!!

Satine swivels the chair around, and strokes the cat even harder.

(Satine): Christian James. We meet again. But, I fear for your life. Yes? Yes.

Satine bites her thumb and tries to look important and suave. It's failing quite badly.

(Christian): I've come to pay my b... snickersnicker Hahahahaha you look so gay hahaha ...

Christian starts twitching

(Satine): Just leave, for the love of God. You stay here, Tinkly!

Satine puts down the cat, pats it on the head, and sashays off.

Christian sighs

(Christina): Damn her...

(Christian): CHRISTINA? Who the hell is CHRISTINA?

(TwystedFate): The typo that every single Moulin Rouge fanfiction author makes all the time when they're tired as hell. And I think she's your alter ego, too. And, oh, that Tinkly cat is living up to its name all over your shoe.

(Christian): GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Christian turns and runs after Satine, filled with a renewed vigor. He grabs her arm, and she wheels, her face tear-stained and her eyes rimmed in red. She looks up at the camera.

(Satine): Do you feel worn down? Upset? Tired? Then get a Red Bull energy drink. Even the wing-ed seraphs in heaven enjoy this delici-

(Christian): ...save it, sister.

(Satine): Okay. What's your problem?

(Christian): clears throat You made me believe that you LOVEDDDD MEEEEE. Why can't I PAYYYYY YOUUUUUU?

(Satine): Well, no one else heard that one.

(Christian, beaming): I know!

Marie bustles over to them ... damn, they've been doing a lot of bustling, eh?

(Marie): She needs to go onstage! Leggo!

(Satine): My Eggo! The waffle breakfast every person loves to eat! Filled with nutrients and-

(Marie): If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times...NO MORE COMMERCIAL READINGS!

(Satine): Awwwwww...

(Christian): Why not? She does it so very well...

(Satine): Leave my fetish for television commercials alone, you bastard!

Satine goes up the steps to her entrance, Christian close behind

(Christian): Why can't I pay you like EVERYONE ELSE DOES?

(Satine): Inside voices, Christian.

(Christian): Yes'm.

Warner and the gun come around the corner, Satine sees and screams.

(Satine): DO YOU LIKE PLEASURE? YES? YES? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?

(Christian): ...yes?

(Satine): THEN BUY BRAWNY PAPER TOWELS! BUY THEM! NOW! GO BUY THEM NOW!

Satine shoves Christian in the direction of the exit

(Christian): I ain't getting yo' paper towels, bi0tch!

(Zidler, onstage): Open the doors!

The doors open. Christian is knelt at Satine's feet, clutching a coupon for paper towels in his fist.

(Christian): Fo shizzle mah nizzle, I say I ain't gettin' yo' paper towels, bi0tch!

The audience gasps. 'What will happen next' they wonder?

(TwystedFate): I don't know either. Come back later. pales and runs off

A/N: That was...odd. But I hope you liked it. I aim to please. Let's go...10 reviews and a new chapter. :D