A/N: OMGWTF UPDATE! I've gone so long without updating, and I feel so bad. So, here's some more! (sophomore year in high school can truly be a bitch. Apologies.) I didn't abandon, and I will finish. I swear.

(Satine): I don't care! You're getting my paper towels!

(Christian): Fine! Where are they?

(Satine): pushes Christian onstage

(Christian): falls onstage

(Zidler, from onstage): WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

(Audience): Hahahaha.

(Duke, from audience): WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

(Christian): I'M JUST GETTING PAPER TOWELS FOR MY HO, BIZNATCH!

(Audience): Hahahaha!

(Christian): Y0!

(Satine, running onstage): Christian, it really isn't working. There are no paper towels. I'm not evil, and this isn't really my hair.

Satine pulls off her wig to reveal black dreadlocks.

Audience gasps.

(Duke, triumphantly to himself): I KNEW IT!

(Christian): Oh good, I have a fetish for Jamaican men!

(Satine): MEN?

(Christian): You mean you're a GIRL?

(Satine): stare

(Christian): Shit.

(Mr. Clean): shoots Christian in the arm

(Christian): I'm fed up wit' this shit. Imma outta here, y0.

Christian leaves.

(Satine, thinking fast): Come Bob's pay!

Christian keep walking, dramatically lowering his coat to the ground as he does so.

(Satine, annoyed now): COME. BOB'S. PAY.

Christian's jacket mysteriously disappears as he turns, not bothered at all by the fact he's been shot in the arm, to sing to Satine.

(Christian): Come Bob's pay?

Satine nods tearfully.

Christian runs up the aisle, screaming.

(Christian): COME BOB'S PAY! COME BOB'S PAY!

He runs into Zidler.

(Zidler): LOLZ!

(Christian): backs away and runs to Satine

(Christian/Satine): snuggle

(Duke): WTFFFFFFFFFFFF.

(Random chorus guy): beats Mr. Clean over the head with a guitar

(Audience): HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Christian): macks Satine

(Satine): enjoys it

(Christian, breaking away): I love you.

(Satine): I love you more.

(Christian): Nuh-uh! I love you more!

(Satine): No, me!

(Christian): Me!

(Satine): Me!

(Zidler): Love each other EQUALLY!

Satine and Christian nod, as the audience laughs heartily.

The duke picks up the gun and begins to run up the aisle, screaming, "SHE'S A BOY! A BOY!"

And then ..

.. you'll see next chapter. ;)

A/N: I love you guys. Really.