Disclaimer- I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.
"Would you two knock it off already!" Kurama snapped, losing his calm facade. (Hey, so would you if you were wearing a pink dress in public and two friends were laughing at you).
"Dress-pink-" Kuwabara wheezed, but Kurama's glare and the sudden rose that he withdrew from his hair caused him to stop.
"The Orb of Complete and Utter Doom has been stolen." Kurama stated, once Hiei and Kuwabara calmed.
Hiei tensed, but Kuwabara did nothing (Gee, that's new).
"We need to come up with a plan to lure out the thieves." Kurama said. "So lets get to work." Kuwabara started to look eager, but Kurama corrected himself. "And by we, I meant me and Hiei."
"Oh come on! I can think of a plan!" Kuwabara protested.
"Yeah, a plan that would get us all killed." Hiei snorted.
"You want a piece of me twerp!" The redhead turned and swung at the fire demon, who simply faded out and reappeared behind Kuwabara and pushed him slightly, causing the redhead to topple over.
Kurama groaned in defeat. "We're all going to die."
Elsewhere in town, Yusuke and Keiko were on their date, having an excellent time. As Yusuke settled in his seat at the movie theaters, he briefly wondered why he felt a sudden sense of apprehension.
Perhaps it was the thought of leaving his friends alone to battle the forces of darkness, to leave the battlefield, even for one night.
Perhaps it was the thought of something terrible happening while he was on a date.
Perhaps it was the instincts of a warrior, developed after constant battle, like all seasoned warriors.
Or perhaps it was the fact that he was about to watch the movie Alexander, which he heard was the worst movie ever. Who knew these things?
In an airport somewhere in Asia, the hired assassin faced his most difficult foe yet.
Airplane food.
It wasn't like the assassin wasn't hungry, he was desperately hungry, having not eaten because he believed at first the plane would leave at 4:00, and therefore did not eat, thinking he would eat on the plane.
Big mistake.
Sure they said it would leave at 4:00, but then just because the pilot's child got sick he left, and it took them another hour to find a replacement. And then another hour in taxi. What kind of an excuse was that, the assassin wondered.
So, the assassin waited, his patience growing thin, his hunger growing, and right when he decided to get food, the plane began boarding.
And now, instead of food, those accursed stewardesses serve him... this... confection. Tenderly, the hired assassin poked the substance with his fork, and could have sworn it snarled at him.
The assassin pushed the food away in fright, and tried to fight his hunger by gnawing on the leather seat.
In his secret lair, the demon overlord sat on his couch, watching his tape of Blues Clues. He just loved that little blue dog, and trying to figure out the puzzles was so much fun!
Suddenly, the phone began ringing. Startled, the demon overlord ran over and answered, thinking it was the hired assassin calling. What he got instead was another telemarketer.
"What... no! Yes, I am quite happy with my-No, I don't want to-Look, I don't want to any cream, my-No, it doesn't itch!" The demon growled in exasperation. "I do not have-I will kill you and rip out your organs and feast on your bones if you say that I need cream for my-"
The phone mumbled on insistently.
"YES! FOR GOD'S SAKE! I DON'T HAVE ANY UNNATURAL PROBLEMS WITH MY RECTUM!" The demon slammed the phone down, and after a quick decision, stormed off to Best Buy to buy Caller ID.
"Number Two! I'm going out to get something for Caller ID! Do we need anything else?" The demon overlord called out.
"We're out of milk and cookies again! Oh, and skin care cream!" Number Two responded. "You know how your skin gets..."
The demon overlord scowled. "Do not speak of the incident. My skin still burns with anger."
"It also cracks with dryness."
"Shut up Number Two."
Making sure he had enough money, the demon overlord ran out into his SUV to buy much needed supplies for the continuation of evil purposes... as well as milk and cookies.
Kurama parted the fire demon and the human, and figured out a course of action. "Kuwabara, fine, you can brainstorm for a plan." Kurama said, smiling slightly, but it was forced.
Kuwabara perked up and stood up, looking grateful. "Thanks Kurama!"
Why are you letting the idiot help us? Hiei asked mentally, annoyed.
Because otherwise he will annoy you more, Kurama replied, and Hiei shivered, and said nothing more.
Besides, Kurama added, He might surprise us.
For half an hour, Kuwabara paced, drew little diagrams in the dirt that confused even Kurama, made small models with sticks, and even meditated for a few minutes. Finally, he stood up, a look of enlightenment in his eyes.
"I have a plan!" Kuwabara said proudly.
"What is it, Kuwabara?" Kurama asked, before Hiei could deliver a cutting retort.
"You come up with a plan!" Kuwabara stated firmly, nodding.
Hiei snorted in laughter, and Kurama stared on dumbfounded, and slapped his forehead in consternation.
Yes, Kurama told himself, We are definitely all going to die.
Thanks to SilverRainbow223, escptheshdw835, and kitsune grl for reviewing!
Q&A
SilverRainbow223- I'll see if I can work more Yusuke/Keiko stuff in.
kitsune grl- Because he forgot. (I know Kurama doesn't usually forget things, but this really isn't meant to make a lot of sense.)
AN: Thanks for reading and please review!
