Disclaimer- I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.


At the evil lair, the assassin arrived. "Knock, knock dudes! Is anyone here?" He called out into the intercom at the entrance.

Number Two hurried over to the door, and opened it. And then blinked. Twice. "You're the assassin?" He guessed, but was hesitant. This is what he hired?

"Of course!" The assassin responded cheerfully. "Where's the target!"

Number Two was hesitant. Was this really what he paid for? Then again, he remembered, I did pay twenty bucks for this guy. Stupid overlord and his constant spending on non-evil related things! Still, there was one thing he needed to know. "How will you be taking care of them? Poison? A knife in the shadows?" He asked curiously.

"Nope!" The assassin responded in that same cheerful voice. Opening his bag, he pulled out a very large object. "With this!"

Number Two stepped back in shock. "How in the name of the nine rings of Hell did you get that thing through airport security!"

The assassin grinned. "Its funny what a little blackmail can help you accomplish, isn't it? Now, about my targets..."


At Best Buy, the demon overlord stood in front of the phone accessories area, looking for the right Caller ID to go good with his evil decorum (he looks human). Frustrated, he called over one of the employees.

"What can I do for you sir!" The young woman asked in the most cheerful voice ever made.

The demon twitched at her voice, but asked, "Which of these Caller ID's looks the most evil to you?"

"Well sir, this one here has-" And the woman began describing all sorts of features, but the demon didn't care about that. He just wanted to know if it was evil!

Taking a black colored one, he lifted it up and turned it around. "Black is an evil color, right?" The demon asked.

Instead of answering the question, the woman began describing all the features of this item.

The demon's hand twitched, and he resisted the urge to kill the young woman. Customer service is like chewing glass... only less fun, the demon thought to himself.


For half an hour, Kurama paced and bounced ideas of off Hiei, trying to come up with a plan of action.

But suddenly, the ground in front of Kurama exploded.

"Sweet flying Jesus!" Kuwabara yelled, leaping aside.

Kurama coughed, and glanced down at his pink dress (yes folks, it is still there), and his eyes widened in fear, and then anger. "You burnt my mother's dress! Who did that!"

"Whoops! Sorry dude! Your dress just freaked me out, so I missed!" A voice rang out, jovial and sounding like someone who spent too much time surfing. A young man with brown hair and blue eyes in a vibrant red green Hawaiian shirt and loose slacks jumped down from the tree with a very large rocket launcher.

Quite a strange picture, really.

"Who the hell are you?" Hiei growled, and pulled out his sword. (Where does he keep that thing?)

The man grinned. "Name's Duo Maxwell. I'm an assassin. Nothing personal and all, but I'm going to have to kill you."

Hiei raised an eyebrow and his other eye twitched. "Someone thought a mere human could kill me? That's it! Prepare to die!" Hiei charged, but Duo jumped aside just in time to avoid getting gutted like a fish, dropping his rocket launcher. The brown haired man began running away as Hiei constantly swung at him, narrowly missing each time.

"Hiei needs help! I know what to do!" Kuwabara said, and grabbed the rocket launcher. "I always wanted to try one of these things!" The redhead laughed.

"Dear God no!" Kurama yelled, trying to get the rocket launcher away from Kuwabara, but before he could do anything, the redhead fired the rocket.

Duo turned and saw the rocket flying towards himself and Hiei. "Oh crap!" The brown haired assassin yelled, and leapt forward in vain, but Hiei followed him doggedly, leaping after him, not noticing the rocket behind him.

Big mistake.

"Hiei! Look out!" Kurama cried out, and the fire demon turned and saw a streak of smoke and fire flying towards him.

"Son of a-" Was all Hiei managed.

WHAM!

"Oh my God, you killed Hiei! You bastard!" Kurama yelled angrily, kneeling next to the Fire demon, who was burnt badly from the rocket explosion. Oh yeah, and the assassin was also hit, but he was just completely dead and burnt and all sorts of nasty things. Not the kind of thing this story with its rating can describe.

"Kuwabara..." Hiei whispered weakly.

The redhead had tears in his eyes as he came closer to the dying Fire demon. "I'm so sorry!" Kuwabara whispered. "What do you need buddy?"

"Stay the hell away from my sister." He grunted, and then died.


Thanks to escptheshdw835, omasuoniwabanshi, aymera, Aradia Anstice, long gone, Yuro-Kage, Hiyuri Jaganshi, LilytheKitsune, SilverRainbow223, and Hiei-Rulez for reviewing!

Q&A

Yuro-Kage- I bought them surplus.

Hiei-Rulez- I'm glad you liked it. Someone actually printed this out? I'm flattered!

AN: Thanks for reading and please don't hurt me! Reviews would be nice though!