Waggy - Blink 182
Watching your house shrink away in my rear-view mirror
As I drive away
Wishing that I could take back all those words
That meant nothing that I didn't say
I'm trying
To be what you want me to be
But it's so damn hard to keep playing the part
Of the fool, week after week
I think you need some time alone (I think you need some time alone)
You say you want someone to call your own
Open your eyes, you can suck in your pride
You can live your life all on your own
Is this all going to be just another time
That we play this game?
I've tried to convince you that things could be different
But somehow they end up the same
But what
Did you expect from me? What am I supposed to do?
You say that you're starting to feel like you're getting lost
Well, I do, too
I don't wanna live this lie again (I don't wanna live this lie again)
I know I'll get it right but I don't know when
I'll open my eyes, I've got something in side
I'll just jack off in my room until then
It's never over 'til it's done
And I don't think that you're the one
It's never over 'til it's done
And I don't think that you're the one
Watching your house shrink away in my rear-view mirror
As I drive away
So it's official. The best thing that could ever happen to me has finally come to an end. And what an end! A dramatic exit for a melodramatic relationship, I guess. My blood's pounding. Her house is slipping away, as I pump the accelerator with all the might I possess. I can't believe it – it all happened too fast, just them screaming, her hitting me, telling me to get out.
Wishing that I could take back all those words
That meant nothing that I didn't say
It's all my fault – I was just never content with life. I hate myself. She has a right to decide what's best for me. But then she had to say, "I never want to see you again" I can't believe it. Then she lied. So many sad, weak lies. And yet she looked as if she believed them herself. I wanted so much to tell her that it wasn't true, it wasn't right, but what can you do?
I'm trying
To be what you want me to be
But it's so damn hard to keep playing the part
Of the fool, week after week
I realize she used me. Just like she used the rest. But I don't care, I love her, and I can't let her lie anymore. If only I wasn't so weak to fall for her crap. Oh God, I don't know what I'm feeling. My car's speeding up the road. I'm lucky there are no police around here or I'd be a dead boy. Just the look of horror on her face. On both their faces. And this guy on the radio thinks he knows what he's talking about when he sings about his lost love in this song. He doesn't get it. He doesn't feel my inner agony. She'll forget about me but I'll never forget her. That'd just be exactly what she wanted. I can't give her that satisfaction.
I think you need some time alone (I think you need some time alone)
You say you want someone to call your own
It was never a pair. It was always her. Controlling me. I didn't want to be objectified, I wanted it to be a team thing. I wanted to be able to enjoy it without feeling like her pet, her toy. Suddenly I feel this rage come over me. I spin the steering wheel and feel the tires squeal in protest as I speed around and return to the dark, ominous house. She killed me. She deserved a bit of discomfort too.
Open your eyes, you can suck in your pride
You can live your life all on your own
I'll probably never meet another girl with her passion and vivacity as long as I live after this, so I might as well enjoy it. I can't believe how far I've already gone in this crappy car, but I'm almost there now… just a little bit longer. At least I can see her house in the distance. I'm almost there.
Is this all going to be just another time
That we play this game?
I'm shaking. Stop shaking. Just concentrate on throwing open that damn door. There you go, a satisfying smash as the door hits the wall. Just how to make my entrance. Look at her, so beautiful, even in stress.
"What are you doing back here? Can't you see when you're not wanted?" she asks, turning from Caitlin's sobs and sending me a look of pure hatred. I step forwards weakly, my foot crunching on the broken vase she threw at me.
"Surely by now you'd realize how much our relationship relied on drama, Julie?" I say smoothly, refusing to let her see how much I'm freaking out inside.
"It's over, Luke." She snaps, turning her head away from me, trying to calm down Caitlin.
"No, Julie." I reply, "You're over."
I've tried to convince you that things could be different
But somehow they end up the same
"What are you talking about?" she stammers nervously. I've found her weak spot. I have the upper hand, and I have to play it to my advantage.
"You've been married to Caleb for, what, five years now?" I say, feeling myself smirk.
"Get out of my house, Luke."
"You seem to forget Julie, it's not your house. It's your husband's house. Maybe Caitlin should tell, like she said."
Julie went white.
"You wouldn't, you bastard-"
But what
Did you expect from me? What am I supposed to do?
"Should I tell or shouldn't I?" I sneer. Suddenly I don't love the woman that I've been with for so many years. I want to hurt her as much as she's hurt me.
"Luke, why were you kissing my Mom?" Caitlin yells, "I didn't want you to kiss her!"
"I don't know why I was either, Caitlin." I felt bitterness creeping into my voice, "Why would anyone want to kiss such a cold, heartless demon?"
You say that you're starting to feel like you're getting lost
Well, I do, too
"Luke! Shut up!" Julie began to scream and scream. It was disgusting to hear and revolting to watch. Her beautiful face had become a mask of hatred, her eyes disappearing into slits, her face contorted in anger and hate. She covered her eyes and bent down and wailed in a way that hurt my ears before they could even hear her.
I don't wanna live this lie again (I don't wanna live this lie again)
I know I'll get it right but I don't know when
"How long was I mean to be your little puppet, Julie?" I ask over her sickening screams.
Caitlin watches on in horror, and begins to cry. The poor thing. She doesn't understand. I don't even think I understand anymore.
I'll open my eyes, I've got something inside
"I feel like my eyes are finally open for the first time. You are manipulative, cruel, and heartless. I was a fool to have loved you." I say with barely concealed regret. It was a beautiful thing we had. But all good things must come to an end. It's a shame it had to be this way at all.
I'll just jack off in my room until then
"We had some good times, didn't we, Julie?" I snap, edging closer to her as she continues to scream and Caitlin cries, "Because it was mysterious, Julie." She stops screaming and stares in revulsion, "Because it was against the rules, Julie."
It's never over 'til it's done
And I don't think that you're the one
"Just – get out." She says faintly, stopping her screaming with a look of pure exhaustion. I have won the battle. I can tell from the defeat in her voice. I look at the crumpled figure, with the expensive haircut, in the expensive robe that was thrown on over the much-more expensive underwear, skin pale as the white couch it rests on and I feel something inside me. I feel alive at last. I am no longer under the witch's spell. I am free.
It's never over 'til it's done
And I don't think that you're the one
Suddenly the front door is pushed open and the prominent businessman Caleb Nicholl walks in. He sees the crying girl, the guilt-ridden, cheating wife and the almost unrecognizable boy that was once dating his spoilt little bitch of a stepdaughter, and he asks, "What on earth is going on here?"
"Why don't you ask your sex-starved, money-grubbing wife, Mr. Nicholl?" I ask politely, heading towards the front door where my car, still with the keys in the ignition, will take me on more unpredictable, unkempt, wild ventures.
And free of the woman that has both loved me and haunted me for most of the duration of my life.
