Disclaimer- Ms. Rowling rocks and owns all of the brilliant characters!
Read, review, and eat some Chocolate Frogs! E.D.J.
"Welcome back to Crazy Chats with the Harry Potter characters! I have recently recovered from my fit of insanity and Miss Granger and Mr. Potter are relatively unharmed. They are, however, receiving medical treatment at St. Mungo's for some er... minor injuries." Elladora begins muttering. "I really don't think giant purple boils and skull fractures is anything to cry about. It was Potter's fault they ran into that light post." Elladora returns to normal speaking voice. "Mr. Weasley has been caught and untransfigured from a pink rabbit, but he still continually insists on hopping around set screaming 'Vicky!'"
Ron hops past camera and shouts "Vicky!".
"Today's guests are the Marauders and Miss Lily Evans!"
Five teenagers walk onstage to loud cheers and hoots. Sirius and James sit down and smile charmingly at authoress and interviewer Elladora while the other three look slightly embarrassed.
"Hi I'm Elladora your interviewer and authoress!"
"Authoress?" asks Remus.
Elladora sighs. "Yes, sadly this is all completely fictional. Except me of course... and this plate of raisins. Mmm raisins!" Elladora eats raisin.
"I'm not fictional!" says Sirius angrily.
Sirius rocks back and forth repeating, "I'm not fictional, I'm not fictional!"
Elladora gives a loud, indignant sniff. "Fine! Be in denial! That will only lead you to more emotional pain!" Pauses. "What are we doing? Questions! Lily, why is James Potter the most annoying person on the planet?"
"He's arrogant, self-centered, rude..."
Elladora interrupts. "Yeah, but he makes up for all that with his hot looks. Am I right?"
"NO!"
James nods in agreement. "Most definitely. That's true. I agree."
Lily rolls her eyes. "Of course you'd agree with her opinion! You'd agree not to eat a turkey sandwich if it complimented you first!"
Elladora rolls her eyes too. "But I'm not a turkey sandwich, I'm the authoress and interviewer and everyone agrees with what I say!"
"Well I DON'T agree!" retorts Lily.
"Oh yeah? Maybe this will change your mind!" says Elladora angrily.
Elladora snaps fingers and a large giant bearing the nametag Grawp- Security appears and grabs Lily by her hair and swings her around his head numerous times.
Lily screams, "Ok, ok it's true! I agree with you!"
Elladora nods at Grawp who promptly drops Lily and break-dances off stage.
Lily, sulkily fingering her messed up hair, mutters, "You're such a witch."
"I'll take that as a compliment because in fact you're a witch too!" says Elladora patiently.
"Damn that insult doesn't work around magic people."
James smiles smugly. "So Evans, you really think I'm hot?"
"Not on your life Potter. I just said that so she'd get that giant to drop me!"
Elladora nods at James and mouths "She's lying."
James grins. "Whatever Evans."
"James, maybe you should go out with someone who isn't in denial. They end up like that." Elladora nods at Sirius who is still rocking back and forth muttering, "I'm not fictional!".
Elladora smiles flirtatiously at James who grins back. Lily looks on, her face and angry shade of red.
Elladora moves closes to James. "James, you're so handsome. I don't care if you're arrogant and self-centered!"
"Yeah........." says James in a dazed voice.
They continue moving closer until Lily jumps up and pushes Elladora backwards causing our lovely authoress and interviewer to fall onto the ground.
"No he's mine!" shouts Lily.
"What?!" gasps the reader audience.
Elladora brushes herself off. "I knew that would make her jealous!"
"What?!" gasps the reader audience again.
"You mean you don't really like me?" says James with a slight pout.
"Well I knew you and Lily are meant to be so I just helped you guys along."
Lily stands turning red as everyone stares. She grabs James and kisses him passionately before exiting offstage to loud hoots and cheers. James runs after her looking very happy.
Sirius has currently stopped rocking back and forth and muttering, "I'm not fictional!"
Sirius whines, "Why does Prongsie get to be the one who gets snogged?"
"And why are Peter and I the ones who don't get to talk ever?" Remus cuts in.
Elladora sighs for the three hundred and twenty-seventh time. "Because I'm the authoress and you guys currently aren't necessary to the barely visible plot of this episode!"
"Fine! This is stupid!" shouts Peter with a indignant shake of his head.
Remus and Peter walk off in a huff and decide to go the nearest ice-cream parlor to drown their sorrows.
Sirius is still whining. "Why does Prongs get to be snogged? I'm hot too!"
"Yes you are!"
Elladora snogs Sirius.
The cameraman steps in front of the camera blocking the chaotic scene involving many jealous Sirius Black fans. "Well that's the end of our episode because our interviewer and authoress Elladora is currently snogging our psychotic guest who claims he isn't fictional! Two of our other guests are snogging backstage somewhere and the other two are off eating ice cream and feeling sorry for themselves! Keep watching and remember I-am-really-Lord-Voldemort-in-a-cameraman-disguise-and-I am-waiting-for-the-perfect-moment-to-kill-that-brat-Harry-Potter! Mwhahahahahahahahaha......................."
Sirius, James, and Remus are all dreamy! Sigh............ Next episode will have Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle! Please review and tell me anything you'd like me to ask or torture them with! E.D.J.
