The train had finally arrived at Hogwarts. The prefects as well as the heads separated. Hermione and Draco would make sure the 1st years stuck together and made it to the sorting ceremony all right. Everyone was off of the train now. All the first years stayed close to Hermione and Draco awaiting the arrival of Hagrid, who would take them the rest of the way to Hogwarts. Hermione spotted Hagrid walking toward them. She was so glad to see him she could barely hold in her excitement.
AHagrid! Hermione cried as she ran to greet him.
AHermione, its great ter see ya! Hagrid said as he pulled her into a big bear hug.
Draco stood there awkwardly. Yes he had kind of come to peace with Hermione, but that didn't mean he was comfortable with all of Hermione's friends. Draco wondered what would end up happening with Harry and Ron. They obviously wouldn't be over-joyed with the news. Draco chuckled to himself. Who would have thought that Hermione would end up being his friend?
And these were only the beginning of his troubles. Sure, he was Hermione's friend, but he knew that he didn't want to just be her friend. He wanted to be more than that, so much more. He was sure of his feelings now. Hermione gave Draco a feeling he had never felt before. There had been times when Draco thought he had found someone, but he had always ended up feeling empty. No other girl could fill him with the warmth he felt when Hermione was around. No other girl left him tongue tied. No other girl had ever made him…had ever made him….happy. He wasn't sure what the feeling was. With other girls he liked, he thought they had made him happy, but all they could ever really give him was pleasure, not happiness.
Draco thought of what his father would say if he found out. There had once been a time when Draco had thought he loved his father. That was back when Draco had looked up to Lucias. Those days were gone, gone forever. Draco now knew without a doubt that, to his father, he was nothing more than the next heir meant only to carry on the family name. His father had used him like a pawn. Draco had never known love from anyone, except perhaps from his mother. If it hadn't been for her he didn't know what he would have done. Lucias had always told Draco that love would make you weak. Because of his father's influence, Draco had never in his life told anyone he had loved them. Not even his mother. Those three simple words had never left his lips. He never in his life said "I love you". He was afraid to love, afraid to show a weakness. The influence of his father still showed through Draco no matter how hard he tried to change it.
Naturally, Draco had stopped listening to his father. For example, he no longer believed house-elves should be looked down upon as his father did. And here he was falling for a mudblood. His father would certainly not be pleased. Even though Draco had not been able to overcome all influences of his father he had indeed come quite a long way, especially for a slythern. Love was just something he never knew if he would be comfortable with. When you are never shown love it makes it more difficult to love others, or even to be loved.
Draco came out of his daze and stood awkwardly kicking the dirt with his shoe as Hagrid said his good-byes and departed with the 1st years tagging along behind. Some were afraid to stand to far from Hagrid for fear of getting lost. Yet others were too terrified to stand to close to Hagrid, because of his gigantic size. Draco watched Hermione smile compassionately at the wide-eyed first years. This was one thing he loved about her. Hermione was always so loving and accepting. Even to ex-enemies he thought. Not just anyone would have set aside their differences as readily and willingly as Hermione had. Hermione looked up at him and he realized that he was staring.
Hermione watched the first years. Hoping they would be okay. It brought back memories of her first year. She had been terrified but she had tried so very hard to conceal her anxiety. Thinking that she and Draco should make sure the other students weren't causing mischief, she pulled her eyes away from the first years and was about to tell Draco to come along when she caught him staring at her. He had a smile on his face. It was that smile again. Not that terrible smirk she was so use to. It was that sweet sincere smile that convinced her that there was more to him than he let on. The smile that gave her a glimpse of a part of Draco she had never even known existed. A part of him that he fought constantly to conceal. The smile that made her wonder how she had ever fallen for Harry.
What was she saying? Harry was the one for her. He had to be. He was a good Gryffindor and had always been her friend. Draco was a twisted Slythern who she was supposed to despise. But she couldn't help but notice his perfect lips. She watched as they parted slightly. Suddenly she realized that she was leaning in! She was about to kiss him. But she couldn't! But oh, how she wanted to…. Suddenly she thought of something. It didn't matter what she thought of him. Draco wasn't interested in her and she was only complicating things. She realized that she was still leaning in. She made a quick recovery by pretending to see something on his robes and brushing it off.
Draco watched Hermione's eyes glaze over and she got a dreamy look on her face. She started to lean in. For a moment he thought she was going to kiss him. He was about to lean into it when suddenly her eyes cleared, and narrowed in concentration as she brushed something off of his robes. It must have been his imagination. He realized that this was a serious problem. He wanted her so bad that he was convincing himself that she wanted him to. He would have to be more careful.
Hermione didn't want to slip up again and she didn't dare look up at him. She didn't know if she would be able to hold herself back if she did. Instead she just turned and started to walk away.
"Come on Malfoy," she called over her shoulder, "we are going to be late." Not knowing what else to do Draco ran to catch up.
On the way to the Great Hall, neither one said a word. They were both too caught up in their own thoughts and troubles. For, they both had quite a lot to think about. A lot to think about……..
The two were the last to enter the Great Hall. Hermione walked over to the Gryffindor table and Draco went over to the slytherns. As she neared the table, Hermione noticed her friends at the far end. She walked over and found that Harry had saved her a seat beside him.
Harry and Hermione weren't dating but they had both openly expressed their feelings for the other at the train station just before their first kiss. Though, Hermione wasn't as clear on her feelings now as she had thought. Harry wrapped his arm around her waist and bent down to kiss her. She kissed him back, but it didn't have the effect on her it had had during their last kiss.
Draco sat in the only available seat which happened to be between his best friend Blaise and that bitch of a witch Pansy. He had just gotten settled when he took a backward glance at the Gryffindor table and happened to see Hermione. He couldn't believe it! She was kissing Harry in front of everyone. He felt betrayed, even though there was no reason for it. He should have known a girl like Hermione wouldn't be easy to get.
The familiar pang of hurt hit him again as he watched the couple. He felt like vomiting. He didn't know why he was so surprised. He turned back to his table and cleared his mind of all thoughts of Hermione. Or so he tried.
After the first years had been sorted into their houses and the feast had come to an end, Hermione and Potter had kissed 4 times. Draco knew, because he had watched.
The feast was over. Prefects were leading their houses to their dormitories. Hermione and Draco had already been briefed on their duties they would have as the heads and Professor McGonagall was leading them to their private dormitory. As head girl and boy they received many benefits. One of which was that they had their own separate dormitory. They both shared a common room and had their own bedrooms. Unfortunately they would have to share the bathroom, large as it was. They were now approaching a Portrait of a fair maiden sitting under an apple tree. The portrait was definitely an improvement from the Gryffindor portrait of the fat lady Hermione thought to herself.
Professor McGonagall turned to the students. "The password is love everlasting," she said. "I trust you'll get along despite your differences. As heads you should be setting the example. You have already been informed of your duties so I hope everything is clear." Hermione and Draco nodded. With that the Professor turned and walked down the hallway to attend to her other duties.
"Should we go in?" Draco asked Hermione.
"You go ahead. I'll just be a moment." Hermione replied. With that Draco turned, muttered the password and disappeared from sight. Hermione needed to be alone. Though that was a very difficult thing to achieve at Hogwarts, for you never knew who was watching. It seemed there was always some portrait or statue leering at you.
She leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. A tear ran down her cheek. She wiped at it furiously, but to no a due. They just kept flowing. She buried her hands in her face and cried and cried. Her hands were soaked with tears. And she just sat there in the hallway crying, crying uncontrollably, and crying because she has to fight. Has to fight her mixed emotions…so many mixed emotions. Hermione sat their trying to clear her mind. But she couldn't, there were to many thoughts spinning through her head. How would she deal with all of these mixed emotions? mixed emotions………..
