The spot has to go!
The first time I died was the worst moment of my life. It was even worse than loosing my precious elf helmet collection because of a bet with Sauron (whose topic was if he could fool the Numenorian people by the way). Even the fact that I died that day wasn't the worst experience in my life, no it was the fact that this idiot of an elf decided to wear an amour made out of a metal that reaches its melting point very early. As you can see I'm a very hot guy and when we both fell into that abyss because of me slipping on a stone, that elf was roasted and his amour melted and left a sparkly spot on my face in the process. And to top that off I broke my spine.
When I was reincarnated, that damn spot hadn't disappeared! The first problem that went with that fact was that an expression of astonishment (because of this stupid stone) was literally frozen on my face. It's obvious that I didn't look very menacing anymore.
Actually, everyone in Mordor began making fun of me: "Oh, there's Bob, the fearful flame thing." For obvious reasons hiding my face behind a paper bag with holes for the eyes wasn't an option for me. And my doctor didn't help much either. He said that my face didn't produce enough heat for the metal to become more liquid-like and come off. Which I figured out myself, too. Thank you very much. The only difference was that it didn't cost me several gold pieces.
Needless to say, Sauron was very amused by that. Although he knows that the fires of Mount Doom are capable of erasing that metal off my face he adamantly refuses to let me use his smithy. A true dark lord. Unfortunately, his amour is made out of metal I'm not able to melt. Life is really unfair. I hadn't really any other choice than going of to a remote area, namely Udûn, and hoping a solution would present itself soon.
But how do the humans say? He who laughs last, laughs best? When Sauron got his fingers and his ring chopped off by that human, he was reduced to a huge eye made of flames. Of course, perfect blackmail material for me. Everybody thinks Sauron's eye colours are red, orange and yellow. Those who believe that are sorely mistaken. His true eye colour is actually purple with a hint of pink mixed in. Which is of course a total embarrassment for a dark lord. In exchange of getting him a big orange-red contact lens I was allowed to use the fires of Mount Doom.
A bath in magma can be very pleasing indeed. I finally got rid of that spot. Now I can finally travel again. I heard Moria is lovely this time of the year.
