A huge thank you to all of my readers and reviewers, but especially the reviewers; you guys are the lifeblood of this website. Without further ado, here's chapter two!
Chapter 2: Find a Way Back...
Feeling a sudden twist in her stomach, Summer opened her eyes and pushed aside the calming feeling that had been prevailing throughout her body. Seeing Seth Cohen's shoulder before her and feeling his arms around her, she pushed him away firmly. "God, Cohen! Where the hell have you been?"
"Summer, what?" Seth asked, taken aback and confused by her apparent bipolar-ness.
"You left me, Cohen, for a month," she shrieked, her voice scolding. "What do you expect after that, huh? You think I'll just take you back, that everything can go back to the way it was?"
"Well no, but – Summer, just let me..."
She wouldn't have it. Summer stomped her foot and spun away. It seemed so melodramatic, like some stupid soap opera Seth imaged her watching during the lonely summer afternoons. "No, Seth, no. You left me with nothing but a note, a note that didn't even properly explain why you were leaving me. I cried my eyes out for weeks, praying each day that you'd, like, come back and everything would be alright," Summer trailed off, trying to dry her eyes. Her angry rant had turned into a mournful tirade. Tears were freely running down her formerly pristine cheeks, marring her cheeks with mascara.
"But I came back..."
"It's too late for some things, Seth," she said quietly, regaining her composure and sounding more grim that he had ever heard her. Inside Summer was falling apart. She truly had been crying for weeks, almost daily since he'd left. Truth be told, Summer had been laying on her bed and weeping, clinging to Princess Sparkle as if the plastic horse was her lifeline. The outbreaks of tears had become less frequent, but Summer became more lonely as the days grew on.
But here he was, straight from her dreams, Seth Cohen, live and in living color. Now that he was here, Summer wanted nothing more than to fall back into his arms and let him tell her that everything was alright, tell her that he loved her, tell her how much he cared. But things just seemed a little more complicated after Seth's little 'vacation'.
"Summer, you need to know."
"I need to know what, Cohen?" she had calmed. Well, she wasn't screaming anymore.
Seth took a step toward her, trying to grab her hand, but her hands landed squarely against his chest. A quick application of Newton's First Law stating an object at rest will stay at rest until an outside force is applied to it had Seth propelled away from her.
"Seth, I have nothing to say to you. You left me, like high and dry, for a month. A month, Cohen!"
Uh-oh, she was using his first name. This was getting bad. Part of him had already acknowledged the futility in trying to make her see reason. Summer did suffer from rage blackouts, after all. For a moment Seth dared to wonder whether or not Summer actually suffered from rage blackouts, or if she enjoyed every perfect malevolent moment. "Summer, I'm so sorry. I came back, though, for you. I couldn't be away from you."
Summer sighed softly, taking a step back inside. "I missed you terribly, Cohen. I've thought about you every day since, but I can't do this. Not right now at least."
Seth just stared as the door closed behind her, in front of him. Summer's lovely form just seemed to miraculously be replaced by the door. Unable to process his thoughts any longer, Seth sat down, cross-legged before the Roberts' door.
None of this was supposed to happen. Seth hadn't meant for everything to be so messed up. Ryan wasn't supposed to leave and raise a child that might not have even been his own. Theresa never should have appeared in Newport. Yes, Seth decided, that was when everything went awry. It had all started with Theresa, but that didn't explain or justify his running away from Summer.
"Summer..." he whispered to the door, but no reply came. Obviously, it was a door, and doors don't usually answer. If it had answered, Seth realized he'd be committing himself to the 'mental' pretty quick.
Seth just stared at the door for a few more minutes, trying to figure out what he had to do. Unable to fight the burning urge to act, he stood and rapt his knuckles on the door. No reply. He tried again. No reply. And again. Still no reply.
He gave up. Summer needed time to cool down, there was nothing more he could do. There was also nowhere for him to go. He'd wisely kept in touch with his parents, so he didn't feel compelled to run home, but he also didn't want to run again.
Ignoring the gathering malevolence of the clouds overhead, Seth retrieved a few articles from his knapsack and prepared himself for an impromptu camping expedition, on Summer's doorstep.
"I hope Mr. Roberts doesn't come home anytime soon," Seth muttered to himself, just before the clouds opened up and expelled an ungodly torrent of rain.
Soaked to the bone in the skies initial bombardment, Seth frowned and tried to cover his Jew-fro with a sweater from his bag. It was going to be a long night, so Seth placed Captain Oats outside the door and huddled himself to the side, beneath the patio awning.
"Cohen, what the hell are you doing?" her voice wasn't piercing like he'd expected it would be. If anything, Summer sounded exasperated rather than annoyed.
Shaking his obvious exhaustion, Seth wriggled out of his sleeping bag and sat up. The rain had soaked him to the bone in the near hour he'd been out in the elements. "I was just waiting..."
Summer grabbed his hand. "Come inside, before you catch a flu or something," she guided him through the door and had him stand in the entry. Returning just a moment later, Summer patted him down with several towels while Seth stood rigid like a board.
"Mind telling me just what you were doing outside?" she asked at last, satisfied that he wouldn't die on her doorstep.
He shook nervously, but steeled his nerves enough to speak. "Yeah, sure, Summer. I was just trying to give you time to cool down. I thought... I thought that you'd want to talk if I gave you some time to think."
"Oh," she murmured, suddenly unsure of herself. Seth fixed him with a look, but not of irritation or hatred or any of the myriad of emotions Seth would have predicated. Summer Roberts seemed genuinely patient and willing to listen. "You can start by telling me what happened. Why did you leave me?"
She asked the one question he knew she would, but the one he'd feared the most. Even after a month of reflection and self-analysis, the answer still sounded trivial and selfish. Maybe he had been trivial and selfish.
"Before Ryan came, I had no friends. Newport was hell for me. The water polo guys would beat me up, no one even spoke to me," Seth sighed, feeling his shoulders sag. "I had nothing... and than Ryan came, and everything got better. I had a friend – a brother – and I even met you. But then Ryan had to leave and I thought everything was falling apart. I thought you'd leave too. You know me, I've never had a lot of confidence, even if I do hide my feelings beneath my steely surface."
Summer giggled lightly at Seth's admission and light joke. "You didn't have to leave, though. You should have stayed; we could have worked all of this out."
Seth just nodded dumbly, like he was a child being scolded. "I'm just so sorry. I needed to come back and tell you how I felt."
"That's just the thing; you still haven't actually told me."
He blinked. "Summer, I love you. You have to know that. I've always loved you. I knew you were different from all the others, maybe that's why I never met anyone and couldn't stay with Anna."
It took everything she had to hold the tears back. She didn't know how, or why, but Seth Cohen just had that effect over her. Ever since that night on the yacht for Caleb's party thing, when Summer had kissed Seth and realized she really did like him, he'd held some sort of spell over her. But she couldn't hate him for it, because it made her feel complete, whole. "Oh Seth..." she whispered, pulling him into a hug, but recoiling.
Seth's eyes widened and filled his tears. He had broken her heart so completely that she couldn't even embrace him without feeling revolted. He guessed that Summer just hated him now.
"We need to get you out of these wet clothes or you'll get sick or something," she murmured against his shoulder. Seth blinked again, glancing down at her. "Follow me," she commanded, so he complied.
Summer ushered Seth into her bedroom, handing him a pair of pyjama bottoms from her father's closet. She waited while he changed, and when he had, she entered again and took a seat on the bed. She patted the empty space beside her, indicating that Seth should join her.
He sat, looking awkward and nervous. "Relax, Cohen. I don't bite. You should remember that, at least."
"Sorry," he muttered, hanging his head.
Her fingers touched his chin. "You've apologized enough already. I can't forgive you yet, but I at least understand your reasoning," Summer yawned. "Look, it's getting late and it's raining, so why don't you spend the night?"
Summer crawled under the covers of her bed, waiting for Seth to join her. Their shared warmth was calming for both parties, but Summer was adamant that they weren't back together yet. She wasn't quite sure if she could trust Seth enough to date him yet. It would take time.
Before falling asleep, Summer snuggled her back up against Seth's bare chest. "You can, like, put your arm around me. You know, if you're cold or something."
Yeah, that's why. But Seth complied, and Summer was surrounded by his surprisingly strong arm. "Summer?"
"Hmmm?"
"I love you."
Maybe she was tired, or maybe she was tired of denying it, but Summer whispered, "Love you too, Cohen."
Both sighing contentedly in the warm company of Summer's bed, Seth and Summer fell asleep. They might not yet be together, but time healed most wounds, and together everything seemed possible.
