Okidoki then! My first humour fic of Rurouni Kenshin. So…don't kill me or something if you think it isn't good :p Okay so…let the horror begin!


Shishio and the Juppongatana were standing on a stage behind a curtain. Shishio scratched his head and sighed.

Shishio: "Why are we doing this again Houji?"

Chou: "Because Houji is stupid…"

Houji: "Because we need money for the battleship Shishio-sama!"

Yumi: "What! But I thought we had enough money already!"

Houji: "No, Shishio-sama spent all the money on bandages…"

Shishio: (becoming red) "Hey! I need fresh bandages! Do you know how fast bandages are filthy? I bet you don't!"

Kamatari: (standing closer to Shishio) "I believe you Shishio-sama! Ihihi!"

Yumi: (having angry Kaoru eyes)

Shishio: (taking a step back) "Stay away from me…"

Anji: "Not that I care but where are Saizuchi and Fuji?"

Houji: (claps his hands) "I've thought something special for them! You'll see!"

Usui: "Good thing I'm blind!" (laughs his creepy laugh)

Henya: "Stop that…"

Sojiro: (smiles) "I'm happy!"

Chou: "Ya and I think you are the only one. Except for Houji then…"

Houji: (looks behind the curtain) "Ooh! There are a lot of people! Almost all seats are taken!"

Sojiro: (smiles) "So we can begin?"

Houji: "Indeed!"

Shishio: (sighs) "Why do I have all this stupid people working for me?"

Kamatari and Yumi: "Me to!" (looking with angry Kaoru eyes at each other)

Shishio: "Uhm…"

Houji: (smiles) "Here we go!"

Henya: "O boy…"

The lights go out. The audience is silent. A spot lights the stage. Shishio walks in the spot and looks back. Houji smiles and waves. Shishio sighs.

Shishio: "For the battleship..."

Shishio brings the microphone to his mouth and music begins to play. Shishio starts to sing.

Shishio:
The battle line is drawn

I dare you to cross it

You better think twice

before you mix it up with me

I won't back down

I'll keep the fire burning

As hard as you try

you're never gonna stop me now, no

Shishio walks over the stage, the spots are following him. Behind the curtain Houji almost wets his pants of happiness. Shishio goes on.

Shishio:
I will survive

I'm driven by the faith

You can see it in my eyes

It's written on my face

I will survive

And I won't let it

fall from grace

With a forced smile on her face, Yumi joins Shishio in the spots. Some men in the crowd whistle. Shishio gives an angry glare at them and they stop immediately. Now Yumi begins to sing.

Yumi:
And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived 'til now
I tell them I don't know

Yumi walks to Shishio and lays her hand on his shoulder. Behind the curtain, Kamatari growls. Yumi goes on.

Yumi:
I guess they understand
How lonely life has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand

With an evil smile, Kamatari walks up the stage and another spot follows him. He grins at Yumi and begins to sing.

Kamatari:
I'm sleeping
And right in the middle of a good dream
Like all at once I wake up
From something that keeps knocking at my brain
Before I go insane
I hold my pillow to my head
And spring up in my bed
Screaming out the words I dread:
I think I love you!

Kamatari lays his hand on Shishio's other shoulder. Yumi gets angry Kaoru eyes.

Yumi: "Grr!"

Shishio "What the…?"

Kamatari ignores this and goes on.

Kamatari:
I think I love you
So what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for
I think I love you
Isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I've never felt this way

Now Sojiro walks up the stage. In the audiance, girls start to scream. Sojiro just smiles and joins Kamatari in his spot. Now, Sojiro starts to sing.

Sojiro:
Smile, though your heart is aching

Smile, even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky

You'll get by...If you smile.

The fan girls keep screaming. Sojiro keeps smiling and continues.

Sojiro:
Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just...Smile…

Behind the curtain, Houji pushes Henya on the stage. Henya walks over the stage and now he begins to sing.

Henya:
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can…

Suddenly Usui walks on the stage.

Houji: (waving with his hand in the air) "No! Usui! It's not your turn yet!"

But Usui keeps walking and he doesn't see that he almost falls off the stage. Chou runs at Usui and stops him.

Chou: "You have to go that way Usui!"

Usui: "I knew that! I was…I was…Just testing you! Haha!"

Chou: (looking very irritated) "Sure you were! Now go and sing!"

A spot is following Usui now. Usui begins to sing his song.

Usui:
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright, bright
Sun-Shiny day
It's gonna be a bright, bright
Sun-Shiny day

A little bit further on the stage, Shishio is laughing his head off and pointing at Usui. Usui wants to attack Shishio but almost falls of the stage again.

Houji: "Argh! Chou! Stay with Usui! You don't have to sing."

Chou: (smiling) "All right!"

Usui: (looking around) "I heard you laughing Shishio! I'll get youuuu!"

Chou: (Pulls Usui's arm) "Ya sure you do…c'mon Usui."

The audience is looking curious at Chou and Usui, who both are standing in a spot now. Behind the curtain Houji turns to Anji.

Houji: "It's my turn now Anji! And…Hey! Where is Iwanbo?"

Anji: "Iwanbo? I think I saw him at the table with all the food on a few minutes ago."

Houji: (raising his hand) "Ppff, we didn't need Iwanbo anyway. Now…wish me luck Anji!"

Anji: "Hhmm…Ya sure…"

Houji walked to the stage with a big smile on his face.

Anji: "No fair…Iwanbo doesn't have to join this stupid thing because he's eating."

Anji looks around.

Anji: "I'm hungry too…"

Anji quickly turns around and runs in the direction of the table with all the food on. On the stage a spot was following Houji. And, to everyone's fear, Houji began to sing and even worse…to dance.

Houji:

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it

I'm about to lose control and I think I like it

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it

And I know I know I know I know I know I want to I want to

Yumi: (becoming a little bit pale) "That was…horrible!"

Usui: "On moments like this…I'm happy I'm blind!"

The crowd was shocked by Houji's weird dance moves and most of them were leaving.

Houji started to speak in the microphone.

Houji: "Is everybody happy?"

Sojiro: (smiles) "I am!"

Shishio: (slaps his forehead) "This is so embarrassing…"

Kamatari: "C'mon Shishio-sama! We're doing this for the battleship!"

Henya: "You know, there are other and better ways to get a battleship…"

The crowd, or the piece of it that was still there, was silent.

Houji: "Good! Because were just getting warmed up!"

Shishio: (turns to Houji) "We are WHAT?"

Houji: (waves his hand at Shishio) "Don't worry Shishio-sama everything is going to be fine."

Houji: (turns back to the crowd) "Get ready fooooooor…Anji!"

But Anji did not walk on the stage. He was at the table with all the food on with Iwanbo.

Anji: (eating some chicken) "This is great!"

Iwanbo: (grins) "Ehee!"

Back on the stage, Houji was taping with his foot on the ground.

Houji: "Anji? Where are you?"

Chou: "Lucky guy…he got away!"

Houji: (grumbles) "Hmpf! Bad luck for Anji then!"

Houji takes back the microphone.

Houji: "Okay! Ladies and gentleman! Here are Fuji and Saizuchi!"

Suddenly a big hole appears in the roof and something was fallen trough it. It was…

Henya: "Fuji!"

Indeed. It was the big giant, with in his hand the one and only Saizuchi. The crowd screamed and ran out of the room.

Saizuchi: (laughing his creepy laugh) "Okay c'mon Fuji! Let's sing this song!"

Saizuchi:
I need your hand to play my card
together we're strong
we can't go wrong

Fuji:

And now we know just what to do
and how to get our meaning through.
We're only one when we are two

Fuji and Saizuchi:

Together we're strong.
Together we're strong
Together we're strong
Together we're strong
Together we're strong

In the meantime, everyone of the audience was gone. Either by Houji's freaky dance style or because of Fuji.

Houji: "Well, wasn't that fun?"

Houji turns around to see everyone looking angry at him.

Houji: "Oh-o…now c'mon people! We've got enough money now for the battleship!"

Yumi: "Yes, that's a good thing, isn't it Shishio-sama?"

Shishio: "Yes, yes indeed! Let's go my Juppongatana! We have a country to conquer!"

Houji: "In the meantime…can we sing a song?"

All: "NO!"


So…that was it then…stupid wasn't it? :p All the song that were in it, do exist and they aren't mine. I hope some of you liked it anyway :D Please don't kill me… -.-'