Disclaimer: I don't own the series Gilmore Girls or the original characters. All I own is my imagination and the plot.
A/N: I know, it's been a long time since I wrote something, let alone a Trory one piece. It took me about a week to work out all of the kinks and took me about a day to typ out 'cause for once I found myself having actual time on my hands. I wish I could have gotten it out sooner, but then again, all of the time did give me a chance to make sure everything was just right and though everything still isn't, I did try my best so hopefully that'll be enough. :) Oh, and I'm currently trying it without a beta so if you see any mistakes, let me know.
Two-Sided
Every time I turn around, I find my heart in pieces on the ground.
He was as black as night while she could be brighter than the day itself, often leaving him flinching underneath her luminous glow and sometimes even managing to blind him with her radiance, though still he chose to stay with her, hovering within the shadows until she had one of her darker days, waiting to make his move in patience so when he finally did strike, he made sure to hit her full blow.
With each chance he took and every opportunity he grabbed, he stole some of her sunshine, doing nothing but watch as her resistance slowly crumbled; he wasn't there to pick up the pieces, he was merely there to fill up the hollow.
She thought about leaving him constantly, though never saw it through; the right things to do and say ended up saving their relationship just before it could reach its breaking point, though the cracks were always there. Still, she held on to the hope of something more, something better, where they would finally meet one and other halfway. Until then, she was stuck traveling an endless road, struggling for his acceptance along the way, always trying so hard to please him while he never even bothered to look for some sort of middle-ground.
Bad to the bone never cut it with him, it was never good enough; he always wanted even more from her and if she didn't give it to him, he would gradually take it from her anyway, always having expectations, always expecting her to keep quiet and to just go along with it all.
His eyes did occasionally wander in her presence and there were nights where he strayed, though he treated her well enough when he was with her, like a princess actually, always bearing gifts in the hope of buying off his guilt and she took his peace offerings which varied from a first edition of one of her favorite books (he had walked in on her reading often enough), a simple cup of coffee (he knew her that well), and romantic nights out that always included the works (he did know how to treat a girl). With jewelry he didn't bother at all; she wasn't the kind to prance around while covered in diamonds, nor was she the kind to accept such extravagant gifts. The books and evenings out were already more than she could take, but she accepted them nonetheless, even though she was still waiting for the day when he would show up on her doorstep with a pizza and a few videos for a simple night in, on her.
She looked down at the book in her lap, its pages close to falling apart from reading it again and again. The fact that she had gotten away with bringing it made her feel somewhat proud, though the fact that it was the only thing on her tonight that she had bought with her own money made her feel less of that.
She had become one of those girls.
Suddenly she had no more reason to sit with her head up and shoulders straight; even the outfit she had on had been paid for by his money and it showed because the black skirt, though reaching decently just across the knees, was too tight for comfort, the deep red sweater's neckline dipped just a little lower than usual, and her strappy heels were killing her feet. She had always been willing to pay a price for beauty as long as it was from her point of view and not from any other.
She tucked a loose curl behind her ear before reaching for her drink, expecting a coke, though finding a martini in its place. As her fingers grazed across the glass surface, her eyes found his.
''I thought you'd like this better.''
The meaning behind his words was as clear as glass and just as sharp, though she didn't show it; instead, she decided to make it through the night with a brave face and delicately spun her fingers around the glass before bringing it up to her lips. He nodded approvingly as she sipped from her drink, though he wasn't as pleased about the book in her lap; he reached over to take it the second he spotted it. ''It's a good thing I came to check on you otherwise you would have wasted the entire night reading.'' He placed the book out of her reach and she said nothing. ''You really need to get out more, Ace, maybe then you'd know how to have some fun.''
Rory looked over at the bar, at all of Logan's friends that were busy drinking and socializing, both things that they considered as fun, although she shared another opinion. She turned back towards Logan with a shrug. ''It's just not my thing.''
Logan silenced her by placing his hand just below her knee. ''How do you know when you've never even been to a bar before?'' He leaned into her, his hand creeping up her thigh while his lips settled on a soft spot in her neck. ''College is all about trying new things. You need to live a little.'' He pressed his lips against her skin and lightly started to suck on it, loving the way she was squirming underneath him. ''What do you say you come and join me at the bar; I have someone I want you to meet,'' he murmured.
''Who?'' Rory asked, trying to stay in control of her breathing as she felt him tug at the hem of her shirt.
He took his time trailing his lips down to her collarbone, grazing his teeth across it before answering, ''A friend.''
''Logan,'' she started just as the tips of his fingers disappeared underneath her shirt, ''people are watching.'' She could only imagine what it looked liked having a hand beneath her skirt as well as one up her shirt.
''Who cares about them?''
''Logan,'' she pleaded with him.
Logan reacted with a smirk. ''All in time; I've already gotten you this far.'' He allowed his hands to linger a little while longer while holding her gaze with his own, enjoying the things he could make her do and get away with, even in public. He pulled back with a smile. ''Come on.'' He took her hand and pulled her up with him, his fingers locking around hers tightly; he wasn't going to give her a chance to repel.
Rory had no other choice but to let him have his way; she wasn't one to cause a scene of any kind and she knew better than to put up a fight. The only thing she did regret was leaving her book behind, though it had happened before. Still, she brought a book with her each time, refusing to let go of her only piece of self; she deserved it and it was something she would hold onto with all her might.
Remembering her place beside him (and the millstone of being a trophy girlfriend), she let her thoughts drop like a bomb and raised her head to hold it high once more, her smile fake as it started to spread, ready for another meeting with one of his friends, though in this case no introduction was needed. Her smile held many memories while her eyes gave away her surprise at this chance meeting.
Tristan returned her smile, though carefully, not wanting to give anything away just yet.
''Rory, meet Tristan, one of my oldest friends,'' Logan started off the introductions. An arm snaked around Rory's waist as he continued on with a grin. ''Tristan, this is Rory.''
My girlfriend, she mentally finished, hurt that he hadn't said the words for her. ''Hey.'' She could no longer manage a smile.
Tristan acknowledged her with a nod. ''Nice to see you again.''
Logan shot a curious look in her direction, looking for an answer he got from his friend instead.
''We went to high-school together,'' Tristan explained with a shrug.
Rory nodded. ''Yeah, we bumped into each other occasionally. I didn't know you two were friends, though.''
''We met at military school,'' Tristan answered.
''Military school,'' she repeated while looking up at Logan. She didn't know he had gone to military school, though she knew that it wasn't the only thing he had kept from her. He had a closed off personality and his secretive behavior frequently reminded her that they weren't on the same page because while she had told him everything about her at least once, she hardly knew him at all.
Tristan saw the slight change in her body language as she tensed up underneath Logan's touch. She was burning from within and wanted nothing more than to go home.
''Finn!'' Logan yelled, calling one of his other good friends over to join them. She felt his arm fall from her waist as he started off the second introduction of that evening, one that was even shorter than the first one. Chitchat prolonged the silence that lingered near, giving them two or three minutes before it got too uncomfortable. It was something Logan hadn't foreseen, though he made the best of it and found them a way out.
''Well, I think it's time for a drink,'' he said with a grin. ''Finn, be a friend and take Rory here to the bar for a drink and loosen her up a bit for me, will you?''
Finn, always the gentleman, couldn't refuse and blindly reached for her hand, knowing that she needed the comfort; he knew her well enough and no longer had the one-sided role of being just Logan's friend. He led her away from the two blonds as quickly as he could, giving her a chance to breathe, though she couldn't. ''Don't listen to him, love,'' Finn said softly while giving her hand a friendly squeeze. ''You're here, aren't you?''
''It's not enough,'' she returned in a small voice.
Finn brought her hand up to his lips, not knowing what else to do or say. ''Maybe one drink won't hurt,'' he murmured.
Tristan modestly chose to look away, not thinking that he could take seeing her so unhappy. It was written in her eyes and stood out in her behavior, no matter how hard she tried to keep it down under. He read her well, as well as Logan should, though still he had a feeling that he caught things while his friend closest his eyes to them, choosing to be blind because he would be better off that way.
''She brings a book everywhere and hardly ever drinks so when she's out with me, I always make sure that she has some fun and lives a little, you know.''
Tristan nodded, not looking his friend in the eye. ''Yeah, she's always been a bookworm.''
''Did you two ever date?'' Logan asked.
''No, never,'' Tristan said, although he wished they had; he could have made her happy.
Logan nodded, accepting his answer. ''Let me buy you drink.''
x-x-x
Meanwhile, Rory and Finn had reached their destination and were both accepted with open arms.
''I've been wondering when Logan would send you over,'' Colin greeted, his voice already slightly slurred.
''Hey, Colin.'' She didn't take his comment too personal, knowing that he wasn't thinking straight because of the alcohol that was currently running through his system.
''So what will it be?''
''Actually-''
''How about a shot!'' Colin continued excitedly.
Rory hesitated, though finally gave in; it was what Logan wanted.
''Alright!'' Colin turned to order her a drink.
Finn and Rory exchanged a look, though she didn't think as much of it as she normally would. She knew that she was being irrational, but found herself not caring, so when she took the drink from Colin, she was ready to down it, though both he and Finn stopped her.
''Love, that's not how you drink a tequila shot.''
''Oh,'' was all she could come up with.
Colin chuckled. ''Don't worry, since this is probably your first time we'll let it slide. How about I just show you how it's done?'' he offered while taking the drink from her.
''Thanks,'' she mumbled, slightly embarrassed.
''Now, you can drink it the old-fashioned way or you can do a body shot off of someone. I prefer the latter,'' Colin finished with a coy smirk.
''A body shot?'' Her cheeks reddened.
''Colin,'' Finn warned, knowing where his friend was going with it all.
''No, it's okay, I want to know,'' Rory admitted, led by her reporter's instinct and curiosity.
''That's my girl,'' Colin encouraged. He set the drink down on the bar and reached for the salt. ''Now, I need you to point out a body part I can use.''
Her eyes widened. ''Excuse me?''
''For the salt,'' Colin clarified, enjoying the innocence of her response. ''It can be any body part, though most girls choose their stomachs,'' he insinuated.
''I guess that's okay.''
Colin nodded. ''You might want to sit down for this.''
Rory did as she was told and watched with a beating heart as Colin pulled up her shirt just a little. He pushed her back gently while brushing his tongue across the area above her belly button. She kept her brave face as he pulled back and sprinkled the salt onto her stomach.
''And now the real fun begins,'' he convinced her and reached for the shot and the wedge of lime. He leaned in once more, taking pleasure in the way she leaned back as if she knew what she was doing before pushing up her shirt even further and diving in without a warning.
x-x-x
Tristan couldn't believe his eyes when he caught the sight before him. He couldn't help but stare as she sat there with her shirt pushed up just below her breasts and her eyes gleaming. When Logan asked what he was looking at, he was foolish enough to say nothing, leaving Logan no choice but to turn around to see for himself.
Rory's eyes fell closed just as Logan's jaw dropped.
x-x-x
Logan was in rage as he reached the bar. He roughly pulled Rory from the stool, only to back her up against the bar, not giving her a way out. ''What the hell are you doing!'' he shouted, attracting even more attention to them.
''Having fun, like you wanted,'' she retorted.
''By having my friends do body shots off of you!''
''Logan, it was my idea,'' Colin said, trying to intervene.
''It didn't look like you were forcing her.''
''Logan, I don't-''
''Don't tell me you're that naive, Ace,'' Logan said sharply.
''I thought you wanted this.'' Tears started to well up in her eyes. ''I was trying to please you.''
''Really, because it looked like you were pleasing my friends instead,'' Logan hissed.
''Logan,'' Finn warned.
''I'd like to go home now,'' she whispered. She managed to push passed him before starting to cry.
When Logan didn't move, Finn looked at him, openly surprised at his behavior. ''Aren't you going after her?''
''Yeah, we drove her,'' Colin chipped in.
''She can catch a cab,'' was all he said.
''Mate, letting her catch a ride in front of a bar isn't exactly smart.''
''She might just find exactly what she's looking for,'' Logan remarked. ''I'm sick of her goody two-shoes act.'' He sat down at the bar. ''But feel free to drive her home yourself if you want,'' he said before ordering a drink.
''We're all too drunk to drive,'' Colin pointed out.
''I'll do it,'' Tristan proposed. He retrieved his keys from his pockets, not wanting to waste any time. ''I've only had one drink.''
''Thanks, mate.''
Tristan nodded and started to leave, but got held up by Logan. ''Tris, call me to let me know if you got her home safe, okay?''
Tristan nodded and hurried out of the bar.
She was on the other end of the sidewalk by the time he made his exit. He moved quickly, softly placing a hand on her shoulder once he had reached her. ''Mary,'' he voiced tentatively, letting her know that it was only him.
Rory turned, teary-eyed as she looked at him.
''Let me drive you back to the campus.''
She nodded and dried her tears with the back of her hand. He let his hand fall from her shoulder so he could reach for her hand. Her fingers wove through his and she let him lead her to his car, occasionally sniffling.
x-x-x
The drive back to Yale was quiet.
Too quiet.
He remembered her as a talkative person with a lively personality, though now he kept glancing in her direction every now and then just to make sure that she was still there, alive and well. She just silently sat there and stared out of the window, all because of a guy.
She hadn't changed; she was still vulnerable to every person's every word.
She was still his sweet Mary.
When reaching the campus, Tristan turned off the ignition. He waited for her to get out of the car, but she just remained motionless. Taking charge, he took his keys and got out himself, walking over to her side of the car to open the door.
This time, she did get out.
''Thanks. You didn't have to.''
''I wasn't going to let you take a cab and neither was Logan,'' he added.
''He isn't here,'' she stated and shut him up. She bit her lip before looking up at him again, shyly. ''Do you...I mean would you 'cause we haven't seen each other in forever, well, not really, but you get the-'' She stopped herself and took a deep breath before giving it another try. ''I could use some company.''
''Okay.'' He simply tucked his keys into his pockets and was by her side as she led him across campus and to her dorm.
''My roommates are gone for the weekend,'' Rory told Tristan when they entered the empty room. She hit the lights. ''Paris would have liked seeing you again.''
''Both you and Paris ended up at Yale?'' Tristan informed.
Rory nodded. ''Yeah, we didn't exactly plan it, but that's how it ended up anyway.'' She was surprised with her own reflection as she came across it. She tugged at her shirt, suddenly having the need to cover up, though no matter how hard she pulled, the shirt would always be too short. She met his watchful gaze. ''Would you mind if I went and changed?''
He shook his head, having noticed how uncomfortable she seemed in what she was currently wearing.
While she disappeared into her room, he ended up on the couch.
x-x-x
Rory took off her clothes and tossed them into a corner, not wanting to look at them for tonight. Tomorrow, when she was in a better mood, she would pick them up and throw them in with the rest of her clothes when she would go to do her laundry.
She changed into a pair of pink checked pants and a pink tank top that was loose enough to wear in Tristan's presence, though it wouldn't matter what she wore; she would always look so ordinary and just like any other girl, unlike Logan's type that always stood out.
She fell onto her bed, frustrated with everything and everyone for the moment.
''Are you okay?'' Tristan asked from the other side of the door, having heard the rustle of sheets and the creaking of springs as she had dropped herself onto her bed seconds before.
''No,'' Rory returned, knowing that the door would be opened and that Tristan would look in at her.
''What's wrong?'' He dug his hands even deeper into his pockets; she always had been pretty in pink.
''I don't stand out,'' she said while looking up at him as he moved closer.
''You know that's not true.'' The faint pout that was close to lingering on her lips made her look even more irresistible. If only she could see herself through his eyes; she would be beautiful.
''Then why doesn't Logan see that? Why does he keep on trying to change me?''
Tristan had no answer ready for such a question and awkwardly stood there gazing down at her.
''He buys me clothes,'' she stated matter-of-factly, looking away. ''What's wrong with me?'' Her voice was near breaking as her glazed eyes searched for his once more. She was acting like a little girl, though that was how she felt at the moment: small and unsure of everything.
She was at her breaking point.
Tristan acted on instinct as he removed his hands from his pockets and sat down at the edge of the bed. He reached for her face; it felt like the right thing to do. ''There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Logan didn't mean what he said.'' He soothingly ran his fingers through her curls. ''Maybe he's trying to change you because he's afraid to. He isn't used to a real relationship and he isn't used to someone like you. He means well, you know.''
''I know,'' Rory started, ''I just would like him to compromise for once and see that I don't need him to constantly give me gifts to make me happy 'cause they don't. I just want him to be there, you know?''
''Have you told him this?''
Rory shook her head. ''I hoped that he would find out on his own.''
Tristan smiled. ''Reading girls's minds doesn't come easy to all guys.''
Rory nodded. ''It would be nice to have someone who would know me that well, though,'' came her whispered confession. She looked away and up at the ceiling instead. ''It would be nice to have someone be that in love with me.''
''Hey,'' he started gently, ''Logan is in love with you.''
The smile Rory gave him was bittersweet. ''Then why does he still need those other girls? Why aren't I enough?''
He gently ran his thumb across her cheek and kept it there as a precaution. His touch was like velvet and brought her into a dreamy state where cerulean was the dominating color and all she saw. It was close, though she wanted it even closer so she would be able to drown. ''Tristan,'' she uttered as she lifted her hands and grasped his shirt. She pulled him as close as she wanted while lifting herself off the bed just enough to brush her lips against his.
''Mary,'' he breathed, tempted by the spontaneous change in her behavior, though he proved to be stronger than that when he gently pushed her back down on the bed.
His heart broke when tears sprung to her eyes.
''You don't think I'm enough either.''
Her words tore him up from the inside out and it showed as his voice softened and his hands went back to her hair. ''Mary-''
''It's Rory.'' She abruptly turned onto her side, leaving him with nothing to look at but her back. He reluctantly untangled his fingers from her hair. ''Ror, he's my friend. I can't-''
''I want to be alone.''
Defeated, he got up and left the room, closing the door soundlessly behind him.
She softly cried at the mess she was in and he listened for a while before giving her her privacy.
x-x-x
It took Rory a while to give up on crying; there was no point in mourning anything but the book she had lost. Wiping the remains of the tears away, she forced herself up, knowing that she had asked too much when it came to Tristan.
She found him in the living room, reading one of her books in the dim moonlight; for some reason, he had turned off all the lights. She stood in front of him, hoping to be noticed which she was. He had to look at her; she was beautiful glowing underneath the moonlight.
''I'm sorry. I didn't-''
''It's okay,'' he assured her with a smile.
''I was just looking for comfort and I hadn't seen you in a while so...'' she trailed off.
''I know. You were upset,'' he righted her wrong.
Not knowing what else to say, Rory sat down beside him. She looked on as he closed the book and put it aside, making her the center of attention. ''You don't have to stop calling me Mary,'' she finally spoke.
He held back a smile. ''Come here,'' he said, signaling for her to move closer so he could wrap an arm around her. He placed a kiss on the top of her head. ''It's not that I didn't want to, you know that, right, Mary?''
''I missed you,'' she said before burying her flushed face in his shirt.
x-x-x
When she woke up the next morning, he was gone, though he had left her a little keepsake on her doorstep, a bouquet of flowers to remember him by.
The first couple of days they stood in a vase beside her bed while the days after, she lay them to dry between the pages of her favorite book, not wanting to throw them out.
Logan noticed the flowers, but didn't ask about them; the missing note or card made them look innocent and not of interest to him.
Soon, he also lost interest in her, tired of waiting for clouds to darken her sky, a sky that was a surreal shade of blue, just like she remembered.
Review please :) Okay, so of course I still think that I could have done better, especially when it comes to the actual story behind it and all. Also, the characters aren't exactly in character all of the time, so I apologize for that, though I thought it worked. I'm still thinking that it was a bit too dramatic here and there and that my wording was off, but I'm just going to stop here before I give any of you ideas... Kidding :) Please, be as honest as you can in the reviews, even if you think everything, well, sucked, though that would kinda suck... Pay no attention to my insecurities; I just need to grow an ego. :) Anyway, please review and let me know what's on your mind. And thanks for reading :)
