A/N: Despite the fact that this is one of the most unoriginal premises in Austen fanfic ever, in my opinion, I'm still kind of proud of this; it was a fun exercise in tone, if nothing else. Comments/critique welcome.

Disclaimer: This is a derivative work from Jane Austen and as such, all characters and at least half of the locations are hers; no effort is being made to make money off this.


A family Christmas is often considered to be, without compare, the last word in familial felicity. As that happy season approached at Pemberley, a mood of excited anticipation settled over the estate.

A fortnight prior, they had been at London; Kitty and Georgiana were introduced into the winter season in town, and though Mr. Darcy could not be induced by any one to give a ball, his brother-in-law could and often was, so they had a thoroughly happy season. The return to Pemberley was precipitated by Mrs. Darcy's quickly approaching expectation of maternal felicity and it was agreed by all that a return to Derbyshire would be much more restful for her. Colonel Fitzwilliam, Mr. and Mrs. Bingley agreed to join them for Christmas with Kitty and Georgiana, and despite Mrs. Darcy's most earnest persuasions that such a voyage in the winter was truly unnecessary, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet sent word in early December that they and Mary, would join the party at Pemberley.

Mrs. Reynolds suffered badly from her rheumatism in the cold weather, but Mrs. Darcy could not confess that she disliked involving herself in Christmas preparations; the constant activity was some solace for the lost society on her removal from town, and served as a diversion now that her daily walks were quite out of the question.

By the time Mr. Bingley's party from London arrived on the 22nd December, Pemberley fairly burst from the seams with seasonal spirit. A dusting of newly-fallen snow ensured that they would, indeed, have a white Christmas and made the approach to the house quite delightful, and Kitty and Georgiana amused themselves readily by sketching scenes in frost on the carriage windows. A delay with a broken wheel not half a mile out of town has quite delayed them, so they were obliged to travel post and hire a carriage at Lambton. Mrs. Darcy waited at the door for them with some impatience, demurring all suggestions that she rest, and might be sent for when the carriage was sighted. Finally realising her determination, Mr. Darcy fetched her a muffler, agreeing that they at least walk out to view the bend in the road, to return straight away if it were not found.

The carriage fortuitously arrived just as they were approaching the bend in the road, and many happy greetings were made in a piecemeal fashion at the roadside. Once inside Pemberley, Mrs. Darcy saw them all properly fortified, and then they assembled in the drawing-room where a hearty fire was blazing, lest they should catch cold from their misadventure outside of London.

Kitty was, indeed, quite enthusiastic in her description of the fortnight since her sister had returned to Derbyshire. She had danced with at least twenty men, she admitted, and had a favourite as her beau, and it was ever so difficult not to let on. Mrs. Darcy could not be less than relieved at this; whatsoever pleasant expectations Kitty's stay in London had caused, she had learnt the importance of discretion, which was truly the important thing. Georgiana admitted shyly to having had a pleasant time, and Mrs. Bingley observed slyly to Mrs. Bennet on the side that Georgiana's manners had made her a great favourite among some circles, at least.

Such a happy flow of conversation was had that Kitty and Lydia quitted the room for bed regretfully, and all of the adults were yawning frightfully before each had spoken his or her full. Before bidding her sister adieu for the night, Mrs. Darcy remarked,

"Dear Jane! It is such a happy circumstance that we are here together for Christmas. It has been a bit dull here since I left you, and you shall brighten the house immeasurably."

"I cannot confess to having had dull company," Jane replied, "but I did indeed miss you. Good-night, my dear."


Christmas Eve dawned brilliantly clear and cold, which made all exclaim in delight at the prospect of shining white hills as far as the eye could trace them, but made Mr. Darcy worry privately to his wife about the state of the roads. His fears were put to rest by midday by the arrival of the Bennets' carriage, and the house seemed full of laughter and exclamations.

Mrs. Bennet was fully delighted by every addition and alteration to the rooms since her daughter's instalment hence, two years prior, and Elizabeth passed the majority of the day in showing her about the house once more, in the company of Mrs. Bingley. Mr. Bennet did not find his change of venue a reason to break with well-accustomed habit, and returned to a volume in Mr. Darcy's library which he had left unfinished that autumn. Mary was prevailed upon to spend the day with Georgiana and Kitty and they decided to try their luck at skating on Pemberley's lake, seeking Mrs. Darcy's opinion. She cautioned them not to go alone, lest the ice break, and they prevailed on Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Bingley to put aside business matters for the course of the day and accompany them to the lake.

They, consequently, were perfectly situated to view the second carriage of the day as it went by on its way to the house. Georgiana puzzled over it, but Colonel Fitzwilliam reassured her, reminding her that Pemberley's many neighbours in the surrounding countryside were well-accustomed to visit on each other at Christmastime. They did not return until suppertime, the girls rosy-cheeked with exertion and cold. The pleasant party returned to the foyer to find Mrs. Reynolds in an anxious state, wringing her hands.

"What is to be done? What is to be done?" she cried, on spotting them. "Oh, my dears, the household's in such an upset! I say, Miss Georgiana, do go and change, you all look quite wild. Do try to stay out of the way today, won't you? I shall be driven quite to distraction!"

"But it's Christmas Eve!" Kitty objected, quite upset, and would have given more rise to protest had not Georgiana, on a cue from Colonel Fitzwilliam, ushered the girls upstairs.

"Now, what's happened since we've left?" Mr. Bingley asked of the housekeeper, thoroughly puzzled. "Is there a problem with Mrs. Darcy's health?"

"Oh, sirs," replied Mrs. Reynolds, "none at all, save shock on seeing her sister again. Bold as anything, she and her husband marched in here to join the family party for Christmas, and they're meaning to spend at least the night here. Mr. Darcy's in his library in quite a state of fury over it, and the mistress is quite aggrieved. The Wickhams are in the drawing room right now, bold as you please, and only Mrs. Bennet with them."

After a brief conference the two men made their way to the library, to take conference with Mr. Darcy. Mr. Bennet, they found, was still seated at a wing-chair, ignoring Mr. Darcy's furious pacing.

"I was hoping you might appear," he said from over his book as they entered the room. "I've not had a word of sense from him since he entered."

Mr. Darcy made an insensible reply and Mr. Bingley took it upon himself to inform Mr. Bennet. "Your son-in-law, Sir, is awaiting you in the drawing room with his wife. They have both come to stay, without having sent prior notice."

Mr. Bennet's book closed with a snap and he laid it aside with a regretful sigh. "I am afraid that you may likely lay the charge at my wife's feet," he said. "She was looking forward so to a family Christmas, she was quite insensible to reality in her planning, and it is wholly likely she made an invitation to encourage such felicity.

"He ought to be turned out of the house," Colonel Fitzwilliam said shortly.

"What, at Christmas-time? Enough of nonsense; I need not have left Herefordshire to hear it. It would be un-Christian. I cannot say that I indeed enjoy the expectation of meeting the man in a season when even intelligent people are frivolous, but one must make exceptions for society."

"I will not receive him at Pemberley," Mr Darcy said shortly, breaking his silence of a quarter hour.

"I cannot devise a manner in which you may not, cousin," Colonel Fitzwilliam said hesitantly. "Even in present circumstances, it would be a frightful lack of manners for your wife's own flesh-and-blood, despite her husband's actions to us in the past. Imagine the strain on her, should you eject them."

Mr. Bingley stood to the side, deeply unhappy of being deprived of the chance to praise any one or speak well of them, for he had as yet been happy enough in life to never acquire joy in abusing them.

Presently a knock sounded at the door and Mrs. Reynolds appeared, informing them that Mrs. Darcy wanted entrance. A general apprehensive look passed among the men there, and Mr. Darcy bid her enter. She took one look at her husband's vexed countenance and told him briskly, "I am afraid, Mr. Darcy, that you had better retire to your room quite quickly; Colonel Fitzwilliam, pray do sit up with him. Our guests would indeed be startled to find you out of bed, in perfect health."

"My dear," cried Mr. Darcy, concerned, "What on earth do you mean?"

"I mean that, so far as they are concerned, you, Georgiana and Kitty have all come down with a dreadful cough and are not fit to stir out of bed, and surely cannot see them at all to-day. Father, Mr. Bingley," she continued, turning round to them, "I am afraid I must prevail on your good humour to go on down to the drawing-room. A positive epidemic in this house is simply too much to hope for." Both gentlemen assented, and quitted the room to meet their guests.

Colonel Fitzwilliam shook his head in wonderment and Mrs. Bennet surveyed him and her husband expectantly, waiting for them, too, to move on her orders. At length, Mr. Darcy could merely say, "God bless you, my dear. Will you be down with them?"

"Of course I shall," she replied with some regret. "It would be greatly impolite of me to stay away, and Mamma may let the entire game away, which would be greatly unpleasant for us all. The girls are in the upstairs sitting-room, having supper; I may check in on you again later this evening."

Both of them quickly assented and went upstairs; Mrs. Darcy returned to the drawing-room, and its happy circle of family cheer.


When Mrs. Bennet returned, the room was very much as she had left it. Mrs. Bingley turned the pages as Mary played at the pianoforte; Mrs. Wickham was animatedly regaling her mother with stories of her many doings; Mr. Wickham occasionally punctuated his wife's narrative with the occasional nod or, "Yes, indeed." Mr. Bingley sat rather nearer the pianoforte, while Mr. Bennet had brought his book along with him.

"Oh, Lizzy!" Mrs. Wickham cried, flinging herself from her chair midsentence. "Lord! I am glad to see you. How much you have changed since spring! I do say, Elizabeth, when is the baby due?"

Mrs. Darcy crimsoned slightly and allowed that that happy day was quite near and inquired after her sister's health.

"I must own that I did have a horrid cough about a month ago. It kept me quite vexed, as I missed three balls while we were in Kent. I've a great many friends there, you know. Mrs. Hampton and I are great friends, almost sisters. She has a darling little boy and if I ever have a daughter I shall be sure they are both married, as he is the sweetest little thing you ever saw."

Mrs. Darcy seated herself, glad that her sister was well on her way to learning brevity of speech. She maintained a proper listening expression throughout myriad descriptions of life in this town and that, and at length, found the opportunity to ask, "But how could you know we were at Pemberley for Christmas?" Privately, she was quite vexed with the ill-breeding their arrival shewed, and the strain it placed on Pemberley's original inhabitants.

"I told them, my lamb," Mrs. Bennet interjected, beaming genially at her daughter. "It's long enough that you've been avoiding each other, isn't it? To think! Your husband Mr. Wickham's brother-in-law, and they have scarcely met! It didn't bear thinking on, so I sent word to dear Lydia that they were to come."

Mrs. Darcy and Mr. Wickham both looked extremely uncomfortable, not wishing to enlighten Mrs. Bennet on the particulars of the latter's association with the former's husband. Mr. Bennet rescued the conversation by saying, "Perhaps you ought not have, dear. One knows that an excess of happiness might cause our daughter undue excitement, which would adversely affect her health. Lizzy, you are looking quite worn-out. You ought to go upstairs and check that the girls are well looked after."

Mrs. Darcy readily assented and made her way upstairs. She was quite envious of the merriness among the party in Georgiana's sitting-room, able to talk and laugh freely without the encumbrance of unwanted company. She sat with them and played a hand of cards before she was forced to descend and see once again to her guests.

As she was leaving, Georgiana anxiously enquired, "Will they be here very long, Eliza? I should hate to have our Christmas spoiled by hiding away. Can't you make them leave much earlier?"

"If you may devise a method, Georgiana," her brother said wearily, "I should be greatly obliged to you."

Mrs. Darcy departed, and Georgiana was quite inattentive at her cards, losing two rounds despite having been dealt good hands both times. She bid her brother and the assembled company good-night shortly thereafter, and sat up some time afterward.


As Mr. and Mrs. Wickham came down to breakfast on Christmas morning, the found the breakfast-room quite empty save for servants scurrying about, none attempting to set the table properly, whispering to themselves, and Miss Darcy, looking pale and grave.

Mr. Wickham started uncomfortably and could not say any thing, but his wife, on looking about the room, asked, "What can this mean? It's barely ten o'clock, and I expected the whole family to be up far earlier. It is Christmas, you know. We'd come down in the midst of the merriment, but I declare that there's no body here!"

"I pray you excuse me," Georgiana said quietly, her voice a little hoarse. Mr. and Mrs. Wickham belatedly recollected that she had been ill by her sister's report. "The whole house is in upset, and breakfast is quite delayed. Mrs. Darcy's pains began last night, and I am ill-accustomed to order about the staff. I am afraid to report that she quite intended for such an event to take place in solitude. I have had your coach ordered. It will take you as far as Lambton, and if you intend to return to Newcastle you may certainly arrange transport thither. Our servants are packing up for you at present. I deeply regret that this may inconvenience you, but I merely ask that you think on our sister's health."

"Oh, Lord!" Mrs. Wickham exclaimed. "A Christmas baby! I must go up and congratulate Lizzy. How envious I am, I declare! I shall go up straight away." With that, she darted from the room. Her husband turned to follow her, but Georgiana called to him again,

"Mr. Wickham."

He turned to enquire what further business she had with him.

"I wish to remind you, Sir, that despite your close connexions with my family, there are certain aspects of our lives to which you must remain wholly an outsider. I pray you, remind your wife of that fact, as I doubt her sister is amenable even to the closest guests in such a state. And if you should ever desire to call on us again, Mr Wickham, do inform us first, so we may better accommodate you."

He bowed to her and exited the room, conscious to such a dismissal not only from Mrs. Darcy's ordeal but her house entire. He found his wife coming down the stairs, complaining loudly that she had been refused admittance to even the corridor to her sister's bedchamber; he consoled her briefly and saw their bags to their carriage.

Georgiana returned upstairs, to where the family was seated in a cosy breakfast in Mrs. Darcy's sitting room. Her brother teased her gently for being such a layabout, even on Christmas morning.

"Oh, look!" Mrs. Bingley exclaimed, looking out the window. "Lydia and Wickham are quite leaving the park together. They are all packed up."

"Mr. Wickham informed me just now that he had business to be attended to immediately," Georgiana said demurely. "It was truly a shame they could not stay longer, but he feared that this was a matter that he could best attend to by leaving this morning."

The whole party admitted their disappointment and the matter was very quickly forgot. The rest of the day contrived to be, in Georgiana's recollection, her favourite Christmas ever spent at Pemberley.