Summary: Remus and Sirius have an unusual conversation. Implied slash RLSB.

Rating: T, because Remus has a very colorful vocabulary.

Disclaimer: I don't need the books, just please can I have Sirius and Remus? I would feed them every day, and take really good care of them, even if I did force them to do naughty things to each other. It's not like you're using them.


Despite the limp, the twigs barely crunched beneath his shoes. Well, they could hardly be considered shoes, more like worn scraps of leather that did nothing to keep the rocks from jabbing his soles, but they were quiet. There was little purpose in coming here if you were going to make a ruckus- you just wound up inviting the dangerous animals while scaring away the more elusive, more clever, more beautiful ones that were to be found in the forest.

He wondered, briefly, which of the two he was looking for. He stopped for a moment, with the dark branches blotting out the dawn light, which was already blotted enough by the sad gray mist overhead that couldn't make up its mind whether to just sit there are start to rain. He put the cup to his lips and was glad for the weak warm lemon that drizzled down his throat. He saw the snout over the top of his mug, peering at him from behind the bushes, and lowered the cup carefully.

"Good morning, Sirius."

The bushes rustled, and the snout vanished with the snap of a branch. "I already saw you, you twat," he said with a tired smile. "You might as well come out."

There was a pause, some more rustling, and then a man's hand pulled the brush away. "Good morning to you too. Lovely weather for a walk, Moony," he commented, with a cheeky grin that wasn't right, like a strange replica of the actual grin. He was gesturing to the heavy clouds draped over the sky.

"Lovely weather for hiding in bushes, too, it seems. Care to explain why you were spying on me?" asked Remus with an almost-smile. "I know you were there last week, too. I'm not an idiot."

"But of course not. I was merely captivated by your irresistible allure, and couldn't bring myself to look away." Remus felt horribly like something had just caught in his throat, which he was not going to allow, not here, he wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "Remus," he added in a softer tone. "You didn't have that limp last time." Those gray eyes just looked up at him. Almost as if-

"This is pointless," he snapped. "We both know- I suppose you have your wand in your back pocket?"

"Yeah. And I suppose yours is, too?" Remus nodded. "Wouldn't Mad-Eye be ashamed at us?"

"I'm not the one he'd be ashamed of," said Remus. "You- you were always faster than me, so I suppose I shouldn't even try- I saw what you did to the last bloke who tried to-"

"Remus," he muttered, looking everywhere, so Remus could see what had been wrong about the grin before, those eyes, they were so crazy and lost. "Please, you don't understand-" He got to his feet slowly, and then he gave a soft little gasp when he suddenly found Remus's wand against his chest.

"You're right," whispered Remus, as the wand shook gently against the cavity where he could remember that heart would beat into his ear. "I don't understand. Nor do I have any desire to."

"But-"

"You don't get it. You- I should just kill you. It would be more effective than whatever the dementors could do, because you don't have a soul or a heart or a conscience or any of that, you bastard, you stupid bastard!" His voice choked against his will, and Sirius opened his mouth again, but Remus thrust the wand hard into his chest. "No! That boy is in my classes, and Harry, Merlin, don't you remember how much he used to love you and you'd take him up on your bike when Lily wasn't home and now how could you even think of hurting him, you sick-"

"I never! Remus, I wouldn't, I'd never hurt him, and I'd never hurt you. You have to listen- Moony." He pleaded, throwing up his palms, those lips parting breathily.

"Don't," snapped Remus. "Never hurt me? You lied to me, Sirius, and you betrayed me and killed my best friends, my only friends, the only ones who'd ever- You ruined my life, do you know that? Do you know what it's like to have everyone you meet either hate you or pity you? I- fuck you, just when my life is starting to be alright again, you have to fucking come here and ruin it." He choked again and felt his shoulders shake, and not here, not in front of Sirius, but he couldn't help it, he gasped and felt his cheeks and his eyes sting. "I lied to him for you," he sobbed. "After all this, I just let you get away, just like that, you bastard."

Sirius' firm hand gripped the wand and suddenly he wrenched it out of Remus' grip, and Remus didn't even move when he felt the end now pressed against his chest. "I never had a wand, Moony," he said in a perversely gentle voice. "They snapped it when I went to Azkaban. You knew that. Now listen." His eyes took on that distant, frightening look again. "If you had the map, I could show you…Peter…You need to understand."

"I don't want to understand," whimpered Remus. "Can't you just kill me, like everyone else? Or are we still operating under the pretense that you care about me?" Sirius gripped his head with his free hand as though trying to stop it, and then cocked it at Remus.

"Shut up!" he barked. "You just…listen!"

"No. I loved you, Sirius. I love you."

He opened his mouth slightly as though trying to understand. Something in the forest barked and Sirius flinched and gave an animal sort of snarl as a loud voice called 'Remus? Ye still out here? Almost time fer breakfast!'

Sirius pushed Remus onto the ground, and there was a bang from his wand. Snake-like cords wrapped around Remus' arms, his chest, and his legs. Remus felt himself shaking in anger because he couldn't understand why Sirius should want to tie him up. Sirius placed his hand over Remus' mouth, and Remus could nearly taste the thirteen years of dust and grime clinging to the rough skin. Then, Sirius leaned in and placed his lips against Remus' forehead for just an instant.

"I promise, I'll make it up to you," he mumbled into Remus' hair. Then, he laid the wand next to Remus' feet, transformed, and wriggled under the brush, which rustled as he headed deeper into the forest.

Remus sat there in his ropes for a moment, and then he shouted hoarsely "Hagrid!" He heard the panting and the footsteps of a large dog and he jumped but then he saw that it was Fang, who trotted over and proceeded to lick his face, wiping off the tears.

"Off," Hagrid commanded, glancing down at Remus. "Blimey, Remus. Yer al' right?'

"Yeah," said Remus as Hagrid slowly untied the cords that bound him.

"Was it…him?" Hagrid asked, and Remus nodded again, stretching his shoulder blade and wondering if he should try to move the hurt leg.

"Dammit. Just lemme at 'im. Me an' Fang'll give 'im a run fer it. Just tell me which way that murderer went."

Remus began to pull himself to his feet, and he grasped on to Hagrid's massive arm for support as he stood. "I-" said Remus, "I'm afraid I didn't see…he left some time ago." Hagrid's shoulders sunk in disappointment, but he gave Remus a hand walking back to the castle. He felt badly, but it was just because he didn't want Hagrid to get hurt, facing Sirius alone, and he knew he never wanted to have to see him again, never ever, the bastard.

He wondered where on earth he was going to find the map.

Author's Note: Remus freaks out a little bit, and I can't decide if it's understandable under the circumstances, or blatantly OOC. Also, I hope I effectively got across how crazy Sirius is, because he's still pretty crazy at this point. Which explains why he was a little rough with Remus, and why he didn't really say anything useful.