A/N: Thanks to LongbottomzGirl, esemeliand The Pirate Illustionist for reviews. I'm making Head Boy and Head Girl the Drum Majors, by the way. Maybe Prefects should be section leaders… Nah…. Anyways, enjoy!


These are the first- through seventh-year students are called at Boneslides:

Beginners-First Years
Newbies-Second Years
Novices-Third Years
Rookies-Fourth Years
Veterans-Fifth Years
Juniors-Sixth Years
Seniors-Seventh Years


Mary sat in the front of a small rowboat next to Rob. Sonata and Jazz were perched on his head. The dark water in front of her was silent and tranquil as the small fleet of rowboats containing all the Beginners made its way to the Boneslides Harbor.

Rob nudged Mary and pointed to the Palace up above. The place was very modern looking and there were several windows, and even buildings made entirely of glass. Four towers as high as buildings in San Francisco rose on each corner of the Palace: north, south, east, and west. Mary gasped and grinned at Rob.


About twenty minutes later, a woman in khakis, a white blouse, and a blue and yellow parka led the group of Beginners up several flights of stairs to the outside of tall, wooden doors. She bid the group to stay quiet as she slid into the room behind the doors, which the only piccolo player of the Beginner group yelled that it was the Mess Hall.

Mary heard a familiar voice utter a sigh of disgust.

"Stupid girl, she, like, stinks like a foot… She's, like, a Footblood, so I don't, like, see why she wouldn't…" mumbled Darcy. Darcy then tripped over a stair. She screamed, and erected herself with the aid of two surly brunettes.

"Ghoul! Shrimp! Get your hands OFF me! Ugh…" Darcy marched over to Mary and smirked.

"Ha, so, like, the rumors were true: Mary Porter has come to Boneslides. Shrimp, you owe me two paper clips… Where was I? Oh yes, I'm, like, dumb! Er, I mean, Darcy Marchfoy, and you're, like, Mary Porter! I'm offering you a once-in-a-lifetime chance of, like, being friends with ME!" Darcy exclaimed. Rob laughed out loud.

"I'm surprised you could say that much in one breath, Marchfoy. I mean, really, just how stupid ARE you?" commented Rob. A quick slap from Ghoul silenced him.

"HEY! Don't hit my friends!" yelled Mary. Darcy's eyebrows rose.

"You mean you, like, literally, actually, totally are totally, really, totally, FRIENDS with that, like, guy??" she questioned, rather confused.

"YES! Go away, I don't want to associate myself with the uncomprehending type if you know what I mean…" responded Mary.

"Uncompre- Uncomprehending?? What the HECK does that mean??" cried Darcy.

"Means 'dumb', Darcy," responded Shrimp.

"Oh, so it's like, a long version of my name?" she asked.

"No, it means-"

But the opening of the wooden door interrupted Shrimp. Professor McGraveh glared at Darcy and her two bodyguards.

"MARCHFOY! SHRIMP! GHOUL! Get back in line!" she shouted. The three girls scampered off, and Darcy mumbled something about having to tell people her name was Uncomprehending Marchfoy…


"Attention students! Students?" hollered Professor McGraveh. The area quieted down. "You are about to be sorted into your house. This house will be where you will live, study and practice your instruments throughout your stay at Boneslides. The people in your house will be your Boneslides family.

"There are four houses at Boneslides: Smartstuff, Normalninny, Decadantdude, and Fearlessfool. The Sorting Concert will begin momentarily."

Rob shifted nervously and Mary jittered with apprehension.

"I really hope I'm not in Decadantdude," whispered Rob.

"Why?" Mary questioned.

"Because the only Bandies who get into that house always turn to the Untimely Arts!"

"Oh."

Mary shivered, and hoped she wouldn't be sorted into Decadantdude.

Professor McGraveh motioned for the Beginner year students follow her. The some odd fifty students piled into the Mess Hall in two long lines. Rob nudged Mary and pointed up. Mary glanced up at the ceiling and saw that it raining. High and low temperatures with forecasts for the upcoming month stretched around the edges of the ceiling.

"WOW! I read about this! The techies here at Boneslides program the ceiling to display not only the current weather but to also give any curious onlooker a glimpse at a forecast for the upcoming month," Hannah said, all in one breath of air. She was talking with a group of saxophonists and low brass players.

"WELCOME!" boomed a take-charge voice, "TO BONESLIDES!" The man speaking looked around at his students and grinned behind designer sunglasses.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Professor Dynamidore, Headmaster of Boneslides. First off, let us all welcome our lovely new Beginners!" shouted Professor Dynamidore over a microphone. The students in the Mess Hall cheered, and Professor McGraveh brought forth a stool, and Hagrid carried out a gigantic harp with the help of another short, stubby professor. The professors backed away respectfully from the harp. Much to Mary's surprise, the harp began to play.

"Ooh, coolie! It's amazing what musical scientists and inventors can do with technology; that harp not only plays and sings but composes its own music and is programmed to have a personality," whispered Hannah. A trumpet player shushed her and Mary listened to the lovely notes played on the harp.

Long, long ago

In a place not so far away,

Four people set foot

Where this great Palace does lay.

They all had a dream,

A very great one,

Of educating young minds

Under the Californian sun.

Those four alone

Set out to build

Our great Boneslides

For a youthful, musical guild.

These four founders

Toiled through cold and cool:

Nora Normalninny, Susie Smartstuff,

Dan Decadantdude, Fred Fearlessfool.

Now that they are gone,

Boneslides needs one to sort

And so I was made,

And shipped to Boneslides port.

You might be in Normalninny,

Which is always okay,

Or in Decadantdude,

Where they are…clever, I must say.

You could be in Smartstuff:

They are the geniuses here.

Or ever yet in Fearlessfool,

Courageous to the boot and in all ways held dear.

So try me out!

I can't cause that much fright!

I can assure you that

I know your plight.

Come!

Play me, Child.

Please, sit, and stay,

If not for a while!

The Mess Hall broke into applause. After the cheering died down, Professor McGraveh began calling out names.

"Allegretto, Daniel."

The boy sat on the stool. He put his fingers on a few of the strings, and, very mysteriously, began to play a jubilant melody with several wrong notes.

"NORMALNINNY!" shouted the harp.

"Bandgirl, Ima." She repeated the same process as Daniel Allegretto, and was sorted into Smartstuff.

Mary waited impatiently. Brown, Lily was sorted into Fearlessfool. Bzeslezeza, Bzelas was sorted into Decadantdude. Clerwes, Karla was sorted into Smartstuff. Mary nearly drifted off to sleep for some time.


"Ghoul, Gretta." Mary's head snapped up and watched as Ghoul was sorted into Decadantdude.

"Grainier, Hannah." Fearlessfool.


Mary stared up at the ceiling for some time until a blond shoved past her.

"Marchfoy, Darcy." Decadantdude.


After a few more names, "Otterly, Robert."

Mary pushed Rob forward and wished him good luck. He sat on the stool and plucked one string. Almost immediately, the Sorting Harp yelled, "FEARLESSFOOL!

"Porter, Mary."

The Mess Hall erupted into whispers as Mary approached the Sorting Harp. She sat on the stool, and plucked one of the strings from the harp. It twanged unpleasantly.

'Ah, perhaps a Decadantdude here?'

Mary jumped at the voice in her head. 'Who ARE you?' she thought.

'The Sorting Harp, of course. What, not used to machines having minds? Humph, Decadantdudes are always so unappreciative of others around them.'

'I AM NOT A DECADANTDUDE!'

'Obviously, as I haven't made you one yet. Well, here goes'- "DECA-"

'NO I DON'T WANT TO BE A DECADANTDUDE!!!!'

'You don't want to be one, ey? Well, better be'- "FEARLESSFOOL!"

The Fearlessfool table screamed in unison.

"WE GOT PORTER!" bellowed two redheaded girls who looked suspiciously like Rob's sisters. Rob hooted and clapped Mary on the back. He grinned, and then motioned to the two girls.

"These are my sisters, Phoebe and Georgia. Oh, and that's Patty," explained Rob. He pointed to all his older sisters and rolled his eyes as Patty introduced herself as a Prefect.

Mary sat down next to Rob and his sisters and watched the rest of the Sorting Concert. After the Sorting, Mary hungrily dug into the Boneslides Feast before her and, after a short speech from Dynamidore (who said something about the C Wing corridor being forbidden and the Spooky Forest also forbidden to all students), tramped to the G Wing with the rest of the Fearlessfools, very content with her life.


A/N: I made up the Sorting Harp's song all by myself, so I own that much. Huzzah! Anyways, please feel free to review.