Disclaimer: No! I don't own Xenosaga! Or Dr. Seuss!
Luna: To Tyrantess: Thanks for the tips! Hopefully, I'll be able to beat him!
To xbleeding heartx: Seduce him? HAVE YOU SEEN THE MAN? He's ugly and old and priestly. AN evil priest….and 'seduce' isn't an attack as far as I know, and if it was...that'll be disturbing. And thank you people who reviewed! Um, anyway on with the fic!
Chapter 6: We're locked in?
" Hey, does anyone realize that we're still on the Elsa although the crew isn't here and we're docked on the Durandal?" asked Jin.
" Perhaps we're locked in," suggested Ziggy.
" Right, and then pigs will fly," said Shion.
Suddenly, a pink blur whirled past the Elsa. It oniked, and landed in front of Ziggy. It was a pig. With wings.
" Awww!" squealed Ziggy, " I will name him Porky! And we shall be best friends!"
" Uh, right then," said Shion.
" Chief, maybe I should see if it's locked," said Allen.
" Fine, whatever," said Shion, annoyed that she was wrong.
Meanwhile…
Chaos was filling up water guns and had a sack of feathers and a jar of honey; just incase.
Then, KOS-MOS came.
" Target locked on!" she screamed, and fired a shot from her machine gun arm.
Chaos dodged it with ease and said, " Wow, KOS-MOS; you should really dye that mustache."
" I am an artificial life form, I do not grow facial hair," said KOS-MOS, anger rising, "You took a marker and drew it on me!"
Without a warning, Chaos threw honey and a bag of feathers on her. KOS-MOS just stood there, in shock; looking like an over grown blue-haired chicken. No one dared to move or breathe; because Chaos knew by making a sudden movement she might attack.
" WHY?" shouted KOS-MOS, " THIS HAS NO LOGICAL EXPLANATION! WHY, CHAOS?"
" It's because I'm madly in love with you and this is my sad attempt to get you to notice me," said Chaos.
KOS-MOS blinked.
" I am flattered, but mere logic suggests that you give that person things of affection, not humiliate them," stated KOS-MOS, " Is this what you speak of true?"
" No, SUCKER!" hollered Chaos, and attacked her with a water gun.
KOS-MOS stood there, dripping wet; looking like a blue haired chicken.
" CHAOS MUST DIE!" hollered KOS-MOS.
I'd like to interrupt this flow of story to ask the question : Where's MOMO? Is she A got sucked into a black hole, b getting fat on curry because no one likes her, C walking in circles trying to find our heroes, or d making a shrine for Canaan.
If you picked A, I wish…If you picked C, your CORRECT!
Poor MOMO was indeed running in circles looking for everyone. She was stuck in the cabins and was very confused.
" How am I supposed to get out of here?" she cried, " All the hallways and rooms look exactly alike! I'm so lost….."
Meanwhile….
Allen returned to the bridge and shouted, " We're locked in!"
" We're…locked in?" asked Shion, dumbly.
" Yeah, but the button to unlock it should be here somewhere," said Allen, " Hey, is that a pig with wings?"
" You can't have Porky!" screamed Ziggy, clutching the pig protectively.
" So, we can have something other than curry tonight?" asked Allen, with a smirk.
" NO! NOONE WILL HAVE PORKY TURNED TO BACON!" screamed Ziggy.
" Allen, I'm ashamed of you," said Shion.
" I LOVE-" began Allen.
Suddenly, Jin tackled him.
" What was that for?" cried Allen.
" I…don't know," said Jin, " I just had a sudden urge to make you stop saying that sentence."
" Jin, press the unlocking button so we can leave," said Shion.
" Why do I have to do it?" asked Jin.
" You were never there for me when mom, Feb and millions of others died!" shouted Shion, " The least you can do is press a button!"
Jin gulped.
Militan conflict, 14 years ago…
We all know the reason why Jin wasn't there for Shion at that time because he was fighting Margulis. But that's what they want you to think. He actually was…..
" Very good! Now read this…" said a Realian.
Jin stared at the book.
" Spot run fast. Spot r-run far. Spot run even f-f-aster when it's last call at the bar." recited Jin.
" Yay!" said the Realian, "You passed Dr. Seuss's book for adults! With a little more work, we'll have you reading and writing like a 10 year old!"
Jin smiled. He was glad he took this private tutoring sessions for his problem.
" Okay, I want you to spell birthday for me before we leave," she said.
" Birthday. Bri-" began Jin.
And then all the Realians began dancing and foaming at the mouth as a haunting song filled their ears. The Song of Nephillim.
" I blame Margulis!" he cried, and ran off.
Back to the present…
Jin was staring at the 2 buttons in confusion.
The 1st one said, " If you want to unlock the door, press me."
The 2nd one said, " If you want to prolong this fic and give readers disturbing images in their head, because this is the auto pilot for the beach; press me."
Jin was confused. There was too many words on the buttons. He didn't dare ask which to press, or he'd feel the wrath of doom from Shion. SO he closed his eyes and brought his finger down on it.
" Chief, we're moving!" shouted Allen.
And yes, Jin picked the 2nd button. Off to the beach.
Luna: Did anyone else notice that after Shion got her glasses destroyed, she didn't even have trouble seeing? What, were they fake glasses? Hmm…anyway, next Chapter: The BEACH!
