Disclaimer: Well, if I didn't own Xenosaga 1 or 2 the last 5 chapters ago, why WOULD I OWN IT NOW? Because it still isn't mine! I also don't own the Speedo company.
Luna: I BEAT THE GAME! WOOOO! Uh….sorry for the outburst. And all I have to say about the ending is that there is probably going to be an Xenosaga 3...another 40 down the drain……Thanks you reviewers!
Chapter 7: The Beach!
" Where, what the-?" began Shion.
The Elsa began moving quickly out of the Durandal. Remember that window Albedo broke when he jumped into the Elsa? And if they went into space that they'd be sucked into oblivion because of the shattered window? Let's pretend that the window fixed itself with super-duper window fixing technology! As much as I enjoy torturing the cast of Xenosaga, I can't afford to have them dead. Yet….
" Jin, you pressed the button for beach auto-pilot, didn't you?" asked Shion, face red with anger.
" I-I can't read good, alright!" cried Jin, " Are you happy now!"
He ran off in shame. Shion, who moments before was ready to wring her brother's neck, was filled with pity.
" Wow…who would've thought?" asked Shion, to no one in particular, " He ran a book store too…as a smoke screen! Hmm…."
The Elsa landed itself on the beach with a thud.
" Oh yeah! Let's party!" screamed Jr.
" Every day's a party for you," said Ziggy, dryly. " You got to stay 12 for 14 years…"
" Who got the booze?" asked Jr., ignoring Ziggy like everyone else did.
" You can't drink, your underage," said Ziggy.
" Watch your tongue, old man!" cried Jr., " Or the pig gets it! By the way, I'm 27!"
" Might as well go for a swim since we're here already," said Shion.
And since Shion said it was okay, everyone agreed.
They all raced back to change into their swimsuits. Even KOS-MOS, who managed to pick off most of the feathers. Even though she was a killing machine/ weapon, she even had a swimsuit. Why? Don't ask me, ask the creators.
The whole gang, except Chaos; went outside to the Beach.
" Hm," said Shion, " I think I'll get a tan…"
" Shion, the sun here is artificial," said KOS-MOS, " Therefore, getting a tan is impossible."
" Then I'll get an artificial tan, Geez!" snapped Shion, " Do you have to be so…correct about everything?"
" I am sorry. There is a 99.9999 probability that my logical sensors will always be correct." she answered.
Allen ran over to Shion, wearing his floaties and scuba-gear. He figured that since whenever he tried to confess his undying love to her, something strange happened to prevent it; so he decided he would propose instead.
" Shion," said Allen, getting down on one knee, " Will you marry me?"
" What?" asked Shion, her face a mixture of confusion and horror.
" I love-"
" Chocolate?" finished MOMO.
" No! I love-"
" Me?"
" NO!"
" Jr.?"
" HELL NO!"
" Luna?"
" No!…Who?"
" Albedo?"
" No! Would you just let me finish a damn sentence?" asked Allen.
" Look!" shouted Shion, suddenly.
They looked. And gasped.
It was Albedo, in all his glory; wearing a speedo.
The sound of jaws hitting the sand was deafening.
" Albedo!" screamed Jr., " Why are you…wearing that?"
" Well, dear brother, I thought it was time this stallion settled down," said Albedo, curtly.
"…You mean get married?" asked Jr., staring.
" Yes, and I was told this was such the place to pick up chicks," said Albedo, " And woman."
" I AM CHAOS! HEAR ME-" began Chaos, and then noticed Albedo, " Whoa. Can I make a suggestion?"
" Go ahead." said Albedo.
" Do us a favor, wear swimming trunks," said Chaos, " Ahem. I AM CHAOS! HEAR ME ROAR!"
He unleashed the machine gun of water guns everywhere and sprayed everyone with ice-cold water.
" That's sloppy," said Jr., " We were going in the water anyway."
Chaos mumbled something under his breath and stalked off.
" SO who wants to be Mrs…Albedo?" asked Albedo.
" Do you even have a last name?" asked Jin, suddenly.
" Uh…Rubedo, do we have a last name?" he asked.
" I don't think so…" said Jr., stopping to think.
Suddenly, Porky flew off into the ocean.
" No! Someone save Porky!" cried Ziggy, " A shark might eat him!"
" You do realize that this is a fake ocean with no actual fish in it, right?" asked Canaan.
Canaan was wearing his black and silver swimming shorts, shirtless. : Drools…stares…drools…oh wait, sorry.:
Ziggy decided to ignore him and jump into the water to save the beloved pig. He started splashing frantically, screaming, " Help! I'm going to drown!"
No one moved.
It wasn't because everyone hated his guts, it was simply because the ocean was only 3 ft of water deep. And Ziggy was a dumb cyborg. The only one who cared was MOMO, who screamed something about a new " best friend" and went to 'save' him. MOMO dragged Ziggy back, along with the pig.
" Who wants to limbo?" asked Albedo.
" Oh! Me!" cried Shion.
" I Love-" screamed Allen.
This time, no one interrupted him. So the words simply hung in the air, and everyone stared.
"-KOS-MOS." finished Allen.
The initial reaction was way worse than seeing Albedo in a speedo. Hey! That rhymes! Albedo wore a Speedo! He likes to torture things, laugh like a creepy man and limbo!
" That's not true, Luna." said Albedo, " I don't torture things. I torture Realians."
MOMO and Canaan took a step back.
" Don't worry MOMO, I only torture the pretty ones," he said, looking at Canaan.
Canaan blanched, and slowly backed away.
"….You can read my mind?" I asked, panicking.
" Yes. Perhaps you want to take up my offer,"
" Uh…no, thanks…" I said, " Um, I have to run now."
" Hold the phone!" cried Jr., finally reacting, " I thought you were in love with Shion!"
" I am, but whenever I try to tell her, something prevents me so I stopped myself out of reflex," said Allen.
" Uh-huh…" said Albedo.
" You hear that? I LOVE YOU, SHION!" cried Allen.
" Where is she, anyway?" asked Jin.
And sure enough, Shion was gone.
Luna: Yeah, this chapter was majorly RANDOM, but there is an actual reason to why their like this…You'll find out in the last Chapter which is 1 Chapter away! Next: Allen attempts being macho. And to Amissthearies, cool idea! I think I'll fit it in Chapter 9, expect I changed it a little bit. Thanks for the idea!
