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Author's Notes: Hi everyone...

Just me writing my pointless borderline mary-sue stories. My co-author, Crystal, will post her views now periodically, from Ele's view, as well as Frodo's and Sams. She says she'll try to keep the Romance down though. (Party pooper). Anyways, It'll be up soon enough. Keep reviewing everyone!

Disclaimer:

Don't have one, don't nee done. The one at the beginning should be good enough for you all.

"Out we go! Into the wild blue yonder" I sang, just a tad off-key

"Did we really have to bring Her" Gimli asked as we paddled down the river. He was in the boat next to us, with Lego.

"Yes, you did! I'm influential to you" I said, sticking my tounge out. Aragorn just sighed.

"I'm bored" Eleanor complained. I looked through my backpack and the tossed her my game boy.

"Enjoy." I said. She began to play it, Frodo staring over her shoulder interestingly. I began to play around with my new power. I tired to get through Lego's mind, but it was like trying to penetrate a ten-foot thick iron wall with a plastic knife. Aragorns was the same, but Gimli's wall was about three feet thick. Hmmm... Pippen was open! YAY! Oh, God, No! He was thinking about kissing Ele! YEE! I quickly cut off from him, not wanting to see anymore pip/ele things.

"What's Wrong" Merry asked me, obviously knowing my distress.

"Nothing..I just sensed...a disturbance..in the force" I said dreamily, and Crys laughed.

"Strider-poo" I complained "When are we going to make camp? I'm tired"

This close to rolling his eyes, Aragorn said "How about now"

"Yay" Ele and me shouted together and I began to do the victory dance, well, at least as well as I could do it in a canoe. We all strained with our paddles and came on a shore next to another forest.

"Everyone unload" Gimli commanded. I reluctantly began to unload my backpack, while Frodo ran off. Crystal followed him, muttering something about gnomes or other. Boromir went out to go get 'wood'. I sighed as I laid out camp, watching Lego whispering to Aragorn Something about the eastern shore. Where was Ele and Frodo? Aragorn went off to go find them, and I began to draw pictures in the dirt of Frodo and the ring, and ele and legolas.

"ORCS" I heard Aragorn shout from the hill. Lego looked at me, telling me to get out of here and hide. I shook my head, I was fighting this time. Legolas looked reluctant, but he let me. I pulled out me bow and an arrow and ran up the hill. I was met by many many orcs. Forget the bow! I grabbed my two knives and began to kick major orc butt.

"I'll be right back" Lego shouted. He ran off to find hobbits. Pip and Merry ran up behind me, brandishing mini swords.

"Get behind me" Boromir shouted, obviously defending the woman (well, at least half-woman) and hobbits. I began to shoot arrows at every possible breathing thing. Oh, God. I remembered. Boromir was going to die. I fought as well as I could, hitting maybe, sixteen orcs. The captain walked on the hill and began to shoot Boromier. There was nothing I could do, for it would change the entire plot. Pip and Merry began to run, and so did I, running my heart out. Yet, It was still not enough. An orc picked me up and threw me over it's shoulder, me screaming for Legolas to come and save me. I kicked and punched the Urk, but then he picked up a rock and knocked me on the head, and I passed out.

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My eyes opened to a hideous face leering over me. I screamed, then rolled away, ending up knocking into another orc.

"Try to escape. You won't get far." An ugly orc said. No, wait, correction. They were all ugly. huh.

"I'm not trying to escape, just getting away from you hideous face" I retorted. He chuckled.

"Good Luck, Elf maiden" He said. I stuck my tounge out at him, and the orcs left, leaving one dude to watch over us. I inched over, my arms and legs bound, to Pip and Merry. Merry was still sleeping, but Pip was looking around with fear and interest.

"Doing okay" I asked.

"Holding On" He replied. I don't think that was a good thing.

"Do you think we're going to die" Pip asked.

"I'm not sure of anything that's about to happen, Pippen." I said solomny.

"I should've never left the Shire. I could be at home, sitting by the Brandy WIne and smoking Pipeweed." He said drearily.

"Pip, some people may seem just like their in the way, or a bother. But you two are not, you are as important to this mission as Lego, Aragorn, and Frodo." I said, trying to sound encouraging, even though he wasn't even close to Lego's hotness. But he was very cute, in a chibi sorta way.

I felt a sharp pain in my side as an Urk kicked me in the side with his metal boots. I think it broke at least a few ribs, and the pain was horrible.

"Get Up! We've got someone on our trail, lets get outta here" He said.

"Aragorn" Pip said happily as he was thrown on someone's back.

"You're awake now, so you can run with the rest of us, elf." Said the Urk. I sighed as I was tied up behind one of the Urks and we began to run. Many hours went by, and then the sun went down. It was night, but the Urks did not even pause. I began to grow weary, not in my muscles, but of my heart. I wondered if Lego and Bubbles and Gimli-kins would ever find us, before either I was killed or we got to Isengard (and that wouldn't take long, considering our pace) I had also lost my backpack in the fight (boo-hoo!) and that was my only hope of realese of me from this bordem, but even if I had it, I wouldn't have been able to reach into it anyway, being my hands were bound very very tightly.

Day came, and we were now in the fields of Rohan. Tall, waving grasses as far as the eye could see, and for me that was pretty far. Pippen, the smart one, dropped his leaf of Lorien on the ground, for the others to find. I wanted to join in, so the top button of my tunic ended up on the ground. It was a shame to see it go though, it was a really pretty button. Wait, who cares about a button! Great, now I was arguing in my own mind. We still didn't stop, until we reached the edge of Fangorn Forest.

"We must rest" One of the orcs complained!

"Fine, but only for tonight" The Urk said.

"I'm sick of this maggoty bread! Can't we have meat" Another Urk complained.

"What about them? They're fresh..." An orc said. About know I was getting scared. I DID NOT want to become Lunch meat under any circumstances.

"We cannot touch them! They are to go to Sauruman, alive and unspoiled" The Urk Commander said.

"What for? Are they for sport" The orc asked.

"The halflings carry some elvish weapon and the elf is for important informtion." The Urk said. Ah-hah, so I guess I shouldn't be killed, I hope, at least.

"Aw, come on, what about their legs? They don't need those. " He said, and then he inched towards us, sword drawn. Crap. Me and the hobbits were frozen in spot. Then the Urk lost his temper, cutting the head off the orc.

"Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys" The Urk shouted. They all cried out in joy, and began to eat the remains of the orc. It was sick, but I whispered to Merry and Pippen one word "Run." We cut our bindings on a sword that was lying on the ground, and the hobbits ran for the forest. I brought up the rear, just in case. I felt someone grab my shoulders, and I was pulled around, a dagger to my thorat. The dagger was held by one of the orcs.

"I hope elves taste better then orcs.." He said, and I closed my eyes. He then made a gurgling noise, and fell over, his dagger falling to the ground, an arrow sticking out of his back. The Riders of Rohan! Pip and Merry had already made it to the forest, but I took advantage of the confusion to find my weapons. They were hanging on one urk's back. I removed them, and put them on, except for my swords, which I drew. I ran, fast as I could go with my ribs hurting like hell. I was almost to the forest when the riders, done with the orcs, had noticed me.

"Stop" They shouted, and me, momentarily distracted, tripped and fell flat on my face. Why me? Why did I have to be cursed with clumsiness, even in Middle Earth? When I got up, I was surrounded by a circle of riders on horses. Shoot.

"Put down your weapons, you are in no danger, my lady." A dude said. After looking at his face, I realized it was Eomer, or as I will call him, Tufty, because there is a fluffy tuft of something on his helmet. I lowered my swords, then sheathed them. They all lowered their spears from my face.

"Where are you from? The Gap? Edoras? The West Fold maybe" Eomer said. "If it is on our way, we can return you home." He continued. He thought me to be human! Foolish mortal human dude. I flicked my hair (in only the way elves can), just enough to show my ears.

"I come from a land that even my own kindred do not know of." I said mystically. Eomer's eyebrows went waaaaaay up.

"An elf? What business do you have in Rohan, we rarely see your kind here anymore." He said.

"I was taken from my fellowship, and they are searching for me. If you haven't seen them, then I at least want to be taken to Edoras to meet them." I said, trying to be polite, even though I was mad. We needed to get a move on here!

"Fine, we will take you as close to Edoras as we dare, but then you must continue on your own." He said. Yayness! He extended an arm to help get on the horse behind him, but I just shook my head. No way I was riding with some smelly human!

"Can I have my own horse" I asked. Eomer sighed. Guess he was depressed he didn't get to ride with pretty elf chick, eh? lol. Someone led forward a chocolate brown horse with green eyes. Awww...

"I name you...er...Ambar" I said joyfully.

"Which means..." One of the horsemen asked.

"Do not question me" I shouted at him. He cowered. "It means fate.." I said softly, petting my horse.

"What is your name, elf" Eomer asked.

I sighed, replying"Lorwen, Daughter of Sue." I mounted Ambar, and began to ride behind the group. I was bored. I began to sing...

"Jingle Bells,

Jingle bells..

etc. etc.."

By the third hour, Eomer was getting pissed. I had gone through every Xmas carol I knew, and was now going on to sing Simple Plan and Linkin Park.

"Will you cease" He yelled at me. I stopped, and looked around.. Same old thing. Tall. Grass. Oh, wait, now there were rolling hills. With boulders. Hm...

We went over the hill, and then as we came to the next one, I heard a clear voice ring out...

"Riders of Rohan! What News from the North" It was Bubbles! Yay, I'm saved from dirty horse men! We made a sharp turn, during which I fell off my horse. I never really was a barrel racer. By the time I had mounted and rode back up the hill, Lego already had his bow out.

"We're looking for two hobbits, they would only be children to your eyes..." Aragorn was saying, pushing down Lego's bow.

"We found no children, and found but one prisoner..." Eomer said. Que me! I pushed through, already off my horse. I ran up, and hugged Bubbles and Lego, then patted Gimli on the head.

"Lorwen? We thought you dead, not with Pippen and Merry...Boromir didn't mention you." Aragorn said.

"But she is here, and that is well." Legolas said, smiling. Awwwwww...they had missed me!

"Let us leave! We will search for the hobbits on our own...er...By the way...Thank you for the horsey." I said.

"It was no trouble"Eomer said, and he brought up two horses. "These are for you companions, and me and my company bid you well." He signed to the riders, and they galloped off.

"So...What's up, you guys" I said. They looked at me weirdly. "Where I come from that's a greeting." I said. Ah, I can see understanding on their faces now.

"We must keep on going, the hobbits are still out there.." Aragorn said.

"We don't even know if they're alive still" Gimli stated.

"Yeah...well...let's get a move on..." I said.

"Wait, Here" Lego said, handing me my backpack. There was a note attached, written in pig Latin, so no one else could read...(translated below)

Earday Orwenlay,

onegay ffoay ithway rodofay otay ordormay. ooktay inimay ackpackbay foay oomday! ollay! eepkay miay ouchtay! Nday elltay emay boutay ouyay nday aldirhay!

Leanoreay Aribnksfay.

(it says

Dear Lorwen,

Gone off with Frodo to Mordor. Took mini-backpack of doom. lol. Keep in touch. And tell me about you and Haldir!

Eleanor Fairbanks)

We mounted, and quickly rode off. Obviously, Eomer had left some people behind to gather the dead and burn them. Gimli started sifting through the piles, and then held a small something up for us to see.

"It's one of their wee Lil belts" He said. Lego put his hand to his heart, and began to say some mourning phrases in elvish. Aragorn yelled in anger at the sky. I almost cried. How could they have died? But I remember Pip saving Faramier in Minas Tirith...wait, they weren't dead! It was all plot suspense! But I couldn't tell anyone, so I still acted sad. Aragorn fell to his knees, and then he began fingering the ground.

"A hobbit lay here" He began, and he went on to tell the entire tale, having us running from place to place in the meantime. Not long, and we were looking into the mossy depths of Fangorn. I strained my ears, and sure enough I could hear the voices of the forest. It was really angry, angry about the destruction of the forests and of Orcs carrying axes. Well, lemme tell you, in about three thousand years this will probably be some resort town in Europe with sparkling ice water imported from Italy and Health Spas.

I looked up and saw that the trio had already walked far ahead of me, and I ran ahead, yelling "Wait up meanies! You weren't just gonna leave me here, were you" I whined.

"Yes." Gimli huffed. I pinched his cheek, and he pushed my hand away.

"You seemed in a trance." Aragorn said. Well, duh.

"It's the forest. It's ancient and very, very pissed off at the orcs. I don't know why yet though. " I said. I shuddered as I felt the forest again, it was really creepy. Legolas then got all far out, probably sensing something in that pretty 'lil blonde head of his.

"The White Wizard approaches" Lego said. Oh, crud. Not Sauruman, not now. We were gonna die! Die a terrible death! Die I tell you! Aragorn told us not to let him speak, so me and Lego drew our bows smoothly (well, at least Lego did. Mine kinda came out clumsily, poking both Aragorn and Lego). Gimli raised his axe, and Aragorn drew his sword.

Suddenly, out of the blue, a big, bright, shiny white light shone on us. I couldn't see well, so my aim was off. Didn't matter though. My arrows disinigrated immeaditly, as did Legolas's. Aragorn's sword got so hot he couldn't hold it anymore. I wasn't really paying attention to Gimli-kins situation, so he's not included in my description. Aragorn yelled something or other, then the lights dimmed.

And there was our old friend, Dandy Gandy, standing there, clad in white. To my left, Legolas bowed gracefully, saying sorry. Without thinking I just ran up and hugged him, shouting "Gandalf!"

"Ah, yes, that was my name" Gandalf said.

"Duh!" I shouted. He laughed.

"It is good to find you all here, and no, I cannot tell you all that has happened, but I will tell you what I can, before we must leave..." He went into this long story, and it took about a half-hour, and I was actually listening intently this time! I wasn't even bored! I had missed Gandy, and it was cool to actually see him again.

Sadly, Gandalf's story ended, and it was back to riding pointlessly around Rohan. Oh, but Shadowfax was the most awesome horsey ever! I mean, he was perfectly white for one thing, and He was perfect size. He galloped clean and clear.

I clapped slowly as Gandy petted his beloved steed, and said "Well done, my equine friend, but Ambar is jealous. Can you dim the white a bit?" Shadowfax gave me this look of utter annoyance. He understood me! Hm...wait till Ele hears about this. I had actually decided not to contact Ele until Edoras, or maybe a little later. I'm sure she was as busy as I was, and I wanted to wait just a while.

We jumped on our horses, and rode for what was about a full day. Now, when we did get to Edoras, I thought that it looked like Minas Tirith, with the levels, each higher then the last, except more browns and yellows instead of whites. Gandalf led us to the gates, and they opened immeaditly. Aragorn looked down, and I followed his gaze. On the ground lay a flag, a horse of Rohan depicted on it. Was this one of those foreboding signs? Yes, I believe so.

"Please take off all of you weapons" The guard Hama said, as we dismounted and walked up the steps to the throne room. I removed my bow, quiver, knives, and my Swiss army knife from my pocket. I also reluctantly left behind my backpack, and told them an old elvish spell was upon it. If anyone opened the pack who didn't have my permission, they would surely explode into a million pieces. Hama's mouth was open, and I just giggled as I walked into the building, on the outside, by Lego.

Gandalf exchanged greetings with Theoden, but the dude just told him that he wasn't welcome in Rohan. I gawked. You DO NOT tell Gandalf that he's not welcome, it doesn't work that way. I had a feeling King Theo here was gonna have his butt kicked. Gandalf took of his cloak, and began to pull Sauruman's ghost/sprit thingie out of old man Theo. It would've been awesome to watch, but we were too busy playing bodyguard for Gandy. Rohan man: oops, now knocked out Rohan man. Heh heh.

Eowyn ran into the room, and I had to hold her back, as she watched her uncle become a regular guy again. Lego motioned for me to let her go, and she ran to embrace her dear old uncle. Gandalf then began to tell Theo of all that was happening, and all the foreboding stuff that was probably about to happen. Then Hama brought forth the King's sword, and Theo grasped it firmly.

Grima Wormtounge strutted around, and Hama grabbed him by the shirt collar, taking him outside. Theo raised his sword to cut off Grima's head, and I buried my face into Legolas's shoulder. Then I heard Aragorn's voice, telling Theo that enough blood had been spilled on Grima's account and to let him go free, never to come to Rohan again. Grima then jumped up, and scampered to the gates, running into the distance. I let go of Legolas, and found Ambar. We were to leave immeaditly, along with all of Rohan, and make our way to Helms Deep. This was the refuge of Rohan, when their country was under attack. I rode between Aragorn and Legolas, and I smiled, ready to ride around Rohan again, except this time It kind of did have a point.