RR76: FINALLY!!! I'm updating this story after weeks of, well... not updating it. So here it is: Chapter something. I forgot which one it is. Someone do the disclamer.

WHITEBROW: RR76doesnotownTeenTitansSouthParkoranythingelsethatmayfinditswayinhereisntmykungfuthebestintheworld?!

RR76: Riiight... Review responses...

Ravens-Despair: Yep. Just wait and see what happens next...

...and that's it. Now to read this thingy!!!

"...and that's what happened," Chef finished. He was telling the Titans about what happened with Cartman. The five teenage superheroes were in awe.

"Man..." Robin said quietly. "I hope he's okay. I was Slade's apprentice once."

"You were?" Chef said, surprised. "So was I. I escaped and joined the army to get him off my trail. Went to Kuwait to help in the Gulf War."

"What happened?" Cyborg asked. Chef shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"The past is the past, and dwelling on it won't help you find your friend any faster," Raven said flatly.

"She's right," Robin chimed in. "You guys go relax, we'll-"

He never finished. A wall exploded, throwing debris everywhere. When the dust cleared, it was Cartman standing there. His wrist mounted Doomblowupper-device was still smoking. He inhaled deeply, then coughed because of all the dust, inahled again, coughed, tried a third time, and laughed at the top of his lungs. He was so busy laughing that he didn't notice the giant green bear in front of him.

Sidenote: Kyle and Stan stared in horror at the rock that had crushed Kenny. "Oh my God, he killed Kenny!" Stan shouted.

"You bastard!" Kyle added.

Beast Boy roared and knocked Cartman out of the Tower. Raven levetated a bouldar and smashed it in front of the boy. Cartman leaped backwards, but was hit in the side by a starbolt. He flew sideways, and was caught by Robin, who picked him up and held him to his face.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Robin said sternly. "You don't have to be controlled by him. I was Slade's apprentice once, so I should know. Don't let him control you."

Cartman spat in Robin's face. "You think he'd controlling me? You think I didn't want this to happen?! I WANTED to be his apprentice! Whatevah! I do what I want!"

Robin stared at Cartman with a combination of fury and pity. "I'm sorry it has to be that way then..." he said sadly. He dropped Cartman at his feet. The lithe 9 year old quickly got to his feet and kicked Robin in the shin.

"Screw you guys," he said. "I'm going home."

"Dammit Cartman, get your fat ass back over here!" Kyle shouted after him. Cartman gave him the finger and repeated, "Screw you, home."

Chef watched in resignation as Cartman left. He sighed and said, "He's too far gone. Nothing you can do can save him.

"Maybe not you," a voice said, "But I can.

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Slade struck Cartman in the chest, sending him flying into the wall. Cartman struggled to get to his feet, but was hit by an elbow strike from his master before he could rise. Slade stood next to his apprentice and shook his head in disgust.

They'd been training ever since Cartman got back from the attack on the Titans. Slade was going all out on Cartman, who was nearly fainting from fatigue. His body was covered in bruises from Slade's attacks. He hadn't even touched him. 'How does he do it?' Cartman thought. 'It's the Cheesy Poofs. His mom puts something in the Cheesy poofs to keep me from fighting.' He tried to sigh, but ended up coughing up blood. If only he had his trapper keeper with him. Damn those bastards for breaking it. So what if it was going to take over the world? It was HIS, dammit!

Cartman's train of thought was broken by a kick from Slade. "Do you plan to lie there all day," he said, mocking the boy. "Or are you going to fight me? You need to get stronger if you are to have any chance against the Titans."

Cartman rose to his feet slowly. "You..." he said shakily. "You... you never... never said anything... about... this..."

Slade rolled his eye. "You didn't read the contract, did you?" Cartman shook his head weakly. Slade sighed. "They never do..." He tossed a pile of papers to Cartman's feet. Cartman picked them up and read through them.

"Paragraph 16, sentences 51-56." Slade said, reciting the said sentences. "'All apprentices are subject to be beaten for no reason at a time of the Master's choosing.'" His eye narrowed. "In this case, now."

Cartman stared at him in horror. "You... can't..."

Slade laughed. "Didn't you hear me? I can do whatever I want, WHENever I want! Whatevah, I do what I want! Now get up so I can beat you some more."

He never got the chance to, because at that moment, the door burst open. Slade saw the sillhouette of a man jump down the stairs and at his feet. He did a sweep kick and knocked Slade's feet from under him, sending him to the ground with a grunt.

The man walked over to the thouroghly beaten boy. "You Eric Cartman?"

"Who wants to know, asshole?" Cartman snapped angrily.

The man laughed heartily and stepped into the light. He wore a red jacket and a blue shirt with a yellow tie and blue jeans. His hair was in an afro. "My name's Nabeshin. I'm here to help you."

"No..." Slade said in horror. "It isn't you..."

Nabeshin smiled at Slade. "Chef says hello..."

INSERT REALLY REALLY VIOLENT FIGHT SCENE HERE.

Slade groaned in pain and Nabeshin smiled. "Come on Eric," he said warmly. "Let's get you back to your friends."

As they left, Slade muttered something. Something like "I'd better send out the ads..."

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"Eric! You're safe!" Chef shouted happily to the fat young boy.

"No thanks to you retards," Cartman muttered angrily. Stan hit him on the head, prompting an "'ai!"

Chef looked at the afro'd man. "Thanks Nabeshin. Looks like we're even now."

Nabeshin grinned. "Hey, no prob man. You did the same for me back in Kuwait, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Chef said sheepishly. "We gotta go now, so I'll see ya later. Tell Space Butler I said hi!"

"Will do!" Nabeshin shouted back. The five figrues disappeared into the sunset.

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On an abandoned street corner, a piece of paper fluttered in the breeze. It tore off the wall it was attatched to and floated merrily through the air... until it was grabbed by a teenage girl with blond hair.

The paper said: WANTED: An apprentice. If interested, call Slade at 1-800-SERVEME, or visit our website, at

The girl clutched the paper in her hand and grinned happily...

RR76: If you think that's the end, then I will beat you over the head with a demented walrus! Plenty more where that came from! Now review!!!