Chappie 4

The Dead Marshes and Ithilien

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. There. ...well, except my bobble head dolls, posters, magnets, standees, video games, books, etc.

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We had been walking for about two days, when Gollum finally lead us out of Emyn Muil.

"See, see? We've lead you out! Hurry, hobbitses, hurry. Very lucky we find you." Gollum seemed far too happy about how things were going. Nasty little creature. Frodo walked ahead.

We were walking for some time, when I heard a splash behind me.

"Frodo!" Sam cried. Apparently, he had fallen into the water. Disgusting, if you ask me. I ran over to where he had fallen in, but Gollum got to him first and hoisted him out. The poor thing was covered in slime.

Frodo called out to Gollum, who just replied, "Don't follow the lights."

That night, I was exhausted from all of the walking, and fell asleep very quickly. Frodo loudly complained about my snoring, and declared he couldn't sleep. I slept like a log, but was woken up to hear a horrible screeching noise.

It sounded worse than nails scratching on a blackboard, playing in harmony with a hundred chainsaws in unison. Gollum was screaming his head off, and Frodo fell over clutching his shoulder. Sam and I both dragged him underneath a bush with Gollum.

"Quick! They will see us, they will see us!" Gollum screamed. Damned Gollum, with his annoying obviousness.

"I thought they were dead!" Sam shouted.

"Ah, yes. They're dead, Sam. You can really kill the Sauron's most faithful and powerful servants with a flood." I rolled my eyes and grabbed Frodo's hand. Poor lil' dude.

"...I knew that." He said.

After a while, the Nazgul flew away on his lizard thing. We all got up, and started to walk again, slightly shaken.

"Hurry hobbits. The Black gate is very close." Gollum said.

We all finally got out of the Marshes. I had thought the smell of dead bodies and seaweed would go away, but now it just reeked of ash... and dead bodies. I would probably have to get used to that.

"The Black Gate of Mordor." Gollum announced.

I looked over the cliffs edge, to see the Black Gate. Even though we were at least eighty feet off of the ground, I had to strain my neck to see the top.
"Holy crap!" I declared. I guess you could say I was at a loss for words.

"Now that's an eye opener, and no mistake." Sam replied.

We sat there for a minute, while Frodo and Gollum were talking about 'keeping promises' and all of that annoying stuff. Suddenly, the rock we were standing on gave way. It didn't help that an entire army of Easterling warriors were approaching the gates quickly.

"Frodo, my love, save me!" I shouted. Sam and I rolled down the side of the cliff, and ended up being wedged in the sand next to each other. I was having a fun time poking him in the side while he tried to get out.

Frodo finally came down, and panicking, threw his cloak over both of us to keep us from being seen. I held myself back from throwing my arms around Frodo, after all, we were laying right next to each other.

After what seemed like ages, Frodo finally lifted his cloak up. He pulled me out, and we both ran behind a boulder close by.

He turned to the both of us. "I do not ask you to come with me."

"I know, Mr. Frodo." Said Sam. "I doubt even these elvish cloaks will hide us in there."

I nodded, and leaned forward, ready to run.

"NOW!" Frodo shouted.

As we lunged forward, I felt something grab the back of my cloak. Typical.

"No!" Gollum exclaimed.

"Curse you, you fool!" I shouted to him. He ignored me and went on.

"They catch you! They catch you!" Frodo attempted to go forward again, only to be pulled back. "Don't take it to him! He wants the Precious. Always, he's looking for it. And the Precious is wanting to go back to
him."

I leaned back, and brushed the gravel off of my skirt as they continued to go back and forth for some time. After a bit of arguing, it was decided we would take Gollum's 'secret way,' past the 'path,' and the 'stairs,' and the 'tunnel.'

"Damned tunnel, with it's tunnelly ways. I'll get it one day, you'll all see!" I proclaimed. I got a few odd looks, and we started walking.

"Good Smeagol. Always helps."

The next day, we came across a stream. I gratefully took out my water bottle and began filling it.

"What's that?" Sam asked, clearly not knowing the wonders of plastic.

"Well, Sam, it's a magical substance, known as plastic."

He stared at the bottle dumbfounded. "Well, what's it made out of?"

"Er... I'll get back to you on that..." I turned around and saw Gollum chasing after a fishie. My eye twitched slightly. "Hey, look at that! Gollum's in the water!" I walked away happily, eating a twinkie, and to my dismay, heard Frodo and Sam get into a fighting match.

"Meep!" I cried, and ran over to find them yelling something or other about Gollum. I realized it would be best not to interfere, so I stepped to the side and stuffed my mouth with the twinkie. Surprisingly, processed foods taste better after being sent thousands of years back in time into an alternate dimension. Mmmm. Twinkies.

That night I slept soundly, but was woken up by the sound of Gollum squealing. He was going to pay for waking me up...

"Gollum, you're going to pay for waking me up..." I muttered. I am not a morning person, (for the record) so the little bugger was in for a treat.

"Oh Golluuuuum..." I grabbed the first object I could find from my mini-backpack of DOOM, which just so happened to be a paperweight. I held it up threatingly to Gollum, who was in far too happy of a mood to care.

He skipped around me in circles, laughing and singing... and then, patted me on the head. "Nice she-hobbit. Gets her rest, lots of walking ahead of us, yess." He pranced off happily, jumping every so often. I sighed heavily and went back to sleep.

The next day I was exhausted from being woken up the night before, so I took a nap next to Frodo. Apparently Gollum had been busy hunting, and woke us up with the wonderful treat of two dead rabbits being dropped into our laps. I broke into sobs when I saw them.

"Nooooo!" I wailed.

"What is it?" Frodo asked.

I sniffed. "It's just… when I was little, only about four years old, my pet rabbit had a heart attack."

"A heart attack?"

"A heart attack!" I screamed. "One of our cats had gotten a hold of it's cage, and scared the poor thing to death! And now I wake up to find two dead rabbits sitting on my lap!" I ran off crying, letting the rabbit in my lap fall to the ground. Frodo ran after me.

"Elanor!" He shouted. I stopped. "I'm sure Gollum didn't mean to upset you." I turned around to face him, and stared at him for a while. "Come on, let's get back to camp." He said. I wiped my face with my sleeve, and lifted my chin up. "Alright, but you can't make me have any!"

We both walked back, to find Gollum teasing Sam.

"What's it doing? Stupid, fat hobbit! You ruins it!"

"What's to ruin? There's hardly any meat on 'em. What we need is a few good taters." He tossed in some herbs, and Frodo went to get plates. I dug through my backpack, muttering curses at Gollum.

"What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?"

"Tee hee. Gollum said 'eh.' Hee hee hee…" I began to erupt into giggles of doom.

"POTATOES. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.' Sam got a look of longing in his eyes. "Lovely, big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish."
I looked at Sam. He seemed a little bit too fond of potatoes…. "Here," I tossed him a bag of potato chips from my mini-backpack of DOOM, "Try some of these. They're fried potatoes, with loads of preservatives, MSG, and other goodness like that." He handed the bag back to me, and continued making the stew. Frodo alerted us to some loud bird calls, coming from not too far away. He ran off to find the source.

I picked up my pack and the chips, and ran down the hill we were sitting on top of. Frodo was lying on the ground, staring out at a large army of Easterlings. Sam and Gollum came up not much later.

"Who are they?" Sam asked.

"Wicked men!" Gollum replied. "Servants of Sauron. They are called to Mordor. The Dark One is gathering all armies to him. It won't be long now. He will soon be ready."

"Ready to do what?"

"To make his war. The last war, that will cover all the world in shadow."

"Boy, that sure sounds pleasant." I said. "Foolish mortals, with their useless wars, and quarreling amongst themselves. Can't we all just get along?" Frodo got a concerned look, and told all of us to gather our things. He went to get up, and Sam took him by the arm.

"Mr. Frodo, look." He said. "It's an Oliphaunt. No one at home will believe this."

I looked down, and saw several elephant like animals coming our way. They had various rugs draped over their backs, and all of them had a fort-like thing on their back. Each one hosted at least twenty of the Haradrim (or Easterlings, or whatever you want to call them!), with a captain at the front. I had wished that Lorwen was there to see them with me, when I remembered that she might be pitted against them at the Pellanor. I was terrified, and fully realized that neither one of us may see each other again.

Suddenly, Gollum ran off. At the same moment, a torrent of arrows came down from the back of the Oliphaunts. I noticed one slip past my ear, and went to stand up, when I heard a thud to the side. I stood back, mortified, seeing it as a dead body.

"We've lingered here too long.' Frodo stated. "Come on, Sam." I was already backing up, and felt strong hands grip my arms. Reflexes from four years of training in karate-do kicked in, and I landed a swift kick to the Ranger's groin. He moaned, and lifted his grip on me. I slipped out, and drew my sword.

"Oh, what do you think of me now?" I started doing my happy dance, (bob arms and head side to side, do chicken dance, spin around, sit down on the floor, repeat) when I noticed that my 'captor' was a Ranger. "..oh. I'm in trouble now, aren't I?" Three of the Rangers rushed towards me, and pinned me down on the ground. I went to get up, when I felt the cold grip of steel on my throat.

Faramir walked up, and took off the hood of his cloak. "Bind their hands."

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