"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." (Norman Cousins)
"It is marked by the most ancient of poets that in peace children bury their parents; in war parents bury their children." (David Thomas Dortch)
Wounds that Don't Heal
The Will to Move On
It's my turn to stare at the casket, only half believing what I see. I should have known my daughter was in more danger than she had let on.
What was her last mission, I wonder for what I'm sure won't be the final time.
Padme had always been my golden girl, as much as I love and adore Sola. Padme had been so loving, so compassionate, the prodigy who wanted to use her gifts to help her people. She was the one who never bear to think badly of anybody. Though I knew she often went inward to avoid the pain that comes with living in this galaxy for any decent amount of time. I feel guilty for not having protected her from that enough, but I suppose all fathers feel protective towards their daughters.
Somehow nobody in my family was surprised when Padme told us that she'd married Anakin Skywalker. Sola claimed she'd known that would happen since she'd seen the way he'd looked at Padme when they came to Naboo. While I'd never pictured Padme with a Jedi, I'd been thrilled that she'd found the love of her life. Her last visit home, she was excited to announce to us that she was pregnant with their first child. I suppose he or she died with her and Anakin was killed in the Purges.
She looks as if she were asleep now, like she might wake up at any moment. But as I stroke her face, it's cold. As I stand back up, still unable to take my eyes off of her, Jobal reaches for my hand. I take it, but gently resist as she tries to pull back, to make me walk away from my daughter for the last time.
I've heard the rumors; that the Emperor ordered her killed for being one of the leaders of a group of senators who opposed him. I feel sick, and feel that I could kill him myself if that's true. But it wouldn't bring Padme back, I remind myself as I step away.
And I need to move on with my life.
But somehow I knew that it wouldn't happen. There are some wounds that will never heal. And this is one of them.
