There is no Dragon
I know now that the Emperor intends to kill Luke. Still, I continue to be loyal to my Master, thinking there's nothing I can do, that I've been to far gone for too long. I've become trapped by the assurance that I've been understood somewhere, even if it is only by the shadow that has been my only companion.
"Father, please. Help me," Luke screams, and I am sure he is close to death. Not doing anything is getting harder and harder.He reminds me of so much, of myself when I was younger, and his mother. But I've given up on my old wish of stopping people from dying. About the only reason I haven't killed myself is I'm sure that to live in this suit means more pain than anything that could come afterward. I can't be forgiven for causing Padme's death.
Once, I had called a dragon to slay Vader. What happened afterward was my greatest failure. I cannot risk calling it again, for I don't know what would happen if I did.
No dragons come. Instead, the Emperor has a mad look in his eye. "Now, Young Skywalker, you will die," he says. As though Luke wasn't going to before. As the screams start again, I realize that ignoring them is about the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Then it comes to me that I can stop him from dying. It wouldn't undo what I'd done, but it would mean I hadn't done what I thought I had years ago – killed my own child. It doesn't matter what happens to me – what do I have to live for? And so I pick up the Emperor and carry him to the shaft, trying to ignore the lightening bolts now coming into me.
I throw the Emperor into the shaft, and watch him fall, circling and screaming until there's an explosion and his body disappears from view. I collapse to the ground, thinking that if I get any love, any understanding, any forgiveness, it's more than I deserve. But I couldn't go through being responsible for someone dying again, not when I could stop it.
